Inappropriate crushesAs a teenager I was obsessed by my piano teacher - I hated playing the piano, but carried on because she was so lovely. OK, it was because she used to wear very plunging necklines.
I even stopped practicing because the worse I was, the more she'd sit at the piano to show me how to play a piece and I could stand behind her and look down her top.
Aaaaargh. Confess your own crushes so I don't look like a breast-obssessed stalker.
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chthonic, Thu 28 Sep 2006, 10:42)
This question is now closed.
...Gil Grissom - CSI. So what if he's 37 years older than me? It could work. Sooo manly...
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 16:44, Reply)
Cartoon ladies!Both the Caramel Bunny, and Jessica Rabbit...
Yummy...
My first crush (aged about 5) was on Michela Strachan in Wackaday, but I don't feel guilty about that. I'd still give her a sympathy shag even though she's a bit older now.
Oh yeah, and also my art teacher in secondary school, Miss Waterhouse. She used to wear loose tops, and no bra. When she leaned over the art tables, half the class would fall off their stools to get a better look.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 16:43, Reply)
milkshake... channel 5, weekend morningsPost clubbing TV... 'Milkshake' on Channel after the columbian marching powder and little fellas... nevermind the birthday cards, you're going to get an eyeful of man-mayonasise - look at them... with their lollies www.five.tv/programmes/milkshake/programmes/milkshakesummer/
And 'Charli' from 'Hi-5' - she's got ears like the FA Cup - great for holding onto
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 16:23, Reply)
I *think* this qualifies...Ginger South Africans. Tall ones.
There's not much more to say.
I'm going now.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:57, Reply)
That bird off Buck RogersErin Gray, defo.
Also, Sigourny Weaver as the Gatekeeper/Keymaster. I feel an affinity towards Rick Moranis as I wear glasses, have poor social skills and get raped by demons from the netherworlds everytime I try and throw a house party
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:56, Reply)
Any of them..off Degrassi Junior High.
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browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:55,
Reply)
i'm with weirdbeard......and i'm more ashamed that somebody else had the guts to come out and say it before i did.
Still, prison food is nice, and I may be able to add that nice mr glitters autograph to my collection.....
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:39, Reply)
damn near EVERY one of my friends...I'm female, and heterosexual. However, when I was between the ages of about 15-18, I developed serious crushes on pretty much most of my close female friends. I would, for a short while, become completely obsessed with them (secretly of course, I never, ever told anyone about it, or gave any outward signs whatsoever of my attraction). Then I would move onto another one a few weeks later, all the while being completely disgusted at myself for ever fancying the previous one. Not because it was 'lesbian' or whatever, but because they were downright mingin'!
And it didn't end there, as a teenage 'phase'. Every once in a while, despite being married (to a man), I'll develop a crush on the darndest of women, usually who aren't even attractive in an 'obvious' way. Natasha Kaplinsky and Lily Allen are both fit.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:38, Reply)
Seven of Nine from Star Trek VoyagerDamn she was fine! She spoke with real authority - *shivers*! I would let that lycra clad borg slut assimilate me any day!
It felt so wrong because the Borg were the Star Fleets enemy!
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 15:03, Reply)
Sick_boyYes, Stephanie from LazyTown. Two first class tickets, please.
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weirdbeard, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:50,
Reply)
Holiday romanceAnd another one; I was working in Thailand and one night in a beach bar, hooked up with a Danish woamn who, despite being in her late 40s was definitely boffable. Back at her hotel we got it on, but half way through the dirty deed, she told me that I was the spitting image of her son, and it very much turned her on.
Meh, still had a great time.
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reverend_smarm, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:37,
Reply)
Antoine de CaunesI sometime sit and watch Eurotrash just for him...just cannot help it...
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bakelit72 something really clever, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:22,
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Cheeseburgers!Mrs Ciderbob believes that a cow in a bun with a piece of Wenselydale give me teh horn! Having met in the local beer emporium for a drink and some food one lunch, I proceeded to have a cheeseburger. Upon leaving the pub, I kiss Mrs Ciderbob goodbye and she feels my pork sword poking into her and asks what it is - my reply being if she doesn't know what it is after 2 years of bouncing on it then she never will. I then say I have a fetish for cheeseburgers, which is met with a rather odd silence..and have since been the focus of many a gag (so has she...aahh thank you!) whilst eating any kind of fast food! She also believe I like a tug whilst watching Shark documentaries.
*POP!*
*Virgin bloody EVERYWHERE!*
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:09, Reply)
Spanish teacherI got off with one of the spanish teacher's at our 6th form leaving ball, she almost got sacked because of it.
Saw her the next day, when I went in to see another teacher was very imbarrasing. She was about 30 and fit as, so I think she's the inappropriot one, I rule!
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:07, Reply)
Keeping it in the familyWhen i was a hormone fuelled teenager, I totally had the hots for my aunt (and even now, many years later, i still kinda do!). She may have been 2 years younger than my mum, but she was a million miles away in cleavage flashing hotness.
I would often volunteer to babysit, just to be near her, and to give her the oportunity to realise that I was now a real man (as evidenced by my 'luxurious' moustache) and up for accidental sauciness.
I am also godfather to her youngest daughter who is now 17 and a total tart..... and the cycle is beginning again, but this time more twisted and lesbian than before.
Hull, here I come.
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reverend_smarm, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:05,
Reply)
So I'm a freshman at University...and have a huge crush on a girl living across the dorm hall from a friend. She's an upperclassman. Beautiful. Friday afternoons we can buy up items in the cafeteria in bulk to use up the cash on our weekly meal cards. So I'm on line with my friend and the object of my affections queues up behind me with her room mate. I'm thinking and thinking of something to say, my friend is encouraging me to do something ANYTHING. Now its my turn to place my order. "One case of Yoo-Hoo please." and then the sweet sound of her voice behind me in hushed tones to her friend "Yoo-Hoo? What a dork...."
If I had only ordered some TAB, maybe she would have seen me in a different light...
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:04, Reply)
Pissed horny DrunkardI believe it is compulsory for female postgrads to want to bone their supervisors. Mine is 50, from Norf Lundun, has a pronounced rhotacism ("Welease Woger!") and looks like he should be hosting Gardening Australia (but has the wrong accent to be Peter Cundall). His legs are too short for his body and he is left-handed, which for reasons unknown gives me the horn something terrible. He is so very, very British, like Razzle and Mayfair and Benny Hill and Viz.
In the brief moments between him being my lecturer and him being my supervisor, we went out for a beer together, and I may or may not have drunkenly inquired as to whether a rock was out of the question. Then we ran into his wife. At least I can take comfort in the knowledge that he clearly appreciates larger women. :(
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 14:00, Reply)
Don't stand so close to me ...Like Kebabish, I too have experienced the lure of the teenage student while being their teacher.
There was a Greek girl called Maria (pneumatic, gorgeous) who would waltz into the classroom late and thrust her perfumed neck and cleavage at me with a, "Do you like my new perfume?" For a second I would be overcome with her scent and long to kiss that tender neck. She gave me pictures of herself in skintight clothing.
I left that town thanking Jesus that I hadn't done anything illegal. But a year later I returned for a visit and found Maria looking older and more beautiful (but still half my age). I had a drink with her and, as we talked, she moved closer and closer towards me so that my knee was wedged between her denim-sheathed legs. After a while she was fully impaled and rubbing herself unselfconsciously against my knee.
She would have. I wanted to. But I went back to my room and milked myself like a cow.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:58, Reply)
Zoe WanamakerI so wanaker her happy, I colleague mentioned that he had spent the whole afternoon on the net looking tfor naked pictures of her, he did not find any
But every sincve then I have had a crush on her, well when she had wild spiky hair anyway
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:53, Reply)
Other way aroundThere was this older woman who had a crush on me - she was about 25 years older than me. And wiry. And scary. And sinister. And would latch on to me given less than half a chance.
Work do's were awful as I would always struggle to avoid her. My friend (she will remain nameless) used to set it up so she'd see me - how evil is that!?!?!?
**shudder**
This QOTW is bringing out a lot of scary things out of people. And is making me worry especially as it's dredging up some odd, odd things from my memory!
I might cry if I sit here and go "Oh yeh" at things like thundercats, etc again.
Oooo - Jane (the blonde one?) from Scooby Doo. (Hangs head in shame)........
****Cries****
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:48, Reply)
Setting a trendMy first ever crush on anyone as a child (aged 11) was Zorg from the Fifth Element. My latest movie crush (aged 20) was Davy Jones from the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Yeah, it's good stuff.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:43, Reply)
little known cartoonI once watched a kids' movie called Osmosis Jones with my gay cousin. Afterwards he turned to me and said "I'm really disturbed by how sexy Osmosis Jones is." Both of us need to get laid more.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:43, Reply)
Very inappropriateFor years I've had this female email buddy. We exchange regular messages about what's happening in our lives and stuff, but I'd never seen her in person until April, when she suggested we meet for a beer or three and put the world to rights as consolation considering we were both having the week from hell.
Anyway, I travelled over to Covent Garden to meet said pal, who turned out to be probably the loveliest lass I've ever clapped eyes on - she makes Helen of Troy look like Helen Daniels. And she's funny, clever and gracious to boot. Oh dear...
Unfortunately I tend to go straight into "bumbling idiot" mode when sat in front of any pretty lady and true to form my nervous system practically crashed and rebooted itself on the spot. I must have spent about three hours gibbering like an idiot.
Did she fancy me? Did she hell! However we are still mates despite me being very original and regularly reminding her of the fact that she is indeed lovely.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:39, Reply)
Just remembered another one.I was shopping at Tesco one evening with my daughter, and as we were walking away from the check-out she said:
“God, that girl really fancies you”. Of course I had noticed her blushing furiously as I handed her my Clubcard…Inappropriate? She was about my daughter’s age.
Even more inappropriate, after that, I’d try to make sure I used her aisle to feed my paltry ego, nasty man that I am.
Oh yes, very similar thing at Blockbusters, she is very cute too in a 19 yr old bookish way.
Must be something to do with my time of life. Best make the most of it while I’ve still got some hair.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:37, Reply)
Aaaah......where are you Mrs Mellish, my old German teacher???
Funny thing is, I'd forgotten about all my past inappropriate crushes until this QOTW. Actually finding some quite fond memories back there - hurrah for b3ta!
Might have to pop to the bathroom...
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dan j what the buggery bollocks is this?, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:35,
Reply)
Perhaps not so much inappropriate...Just silly. Voice of the Radio X presenter on GTA San Andreas.
I'd let her spit in my ears.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:27, Reply)
Not entirely off topicNot so much inappropriate crush as inappropriate turn-on, and it wasn’t me that had it, but who caused it.
I went for a job interview about five/six years ago. The interviewer was the manager of the team I wanted to join. At the time I was in my late 30s but (as I keep telling you) could pass for late 20s. The (woman) manager was around early 30s, and although I didn’t fancy her (never did actually) she was nice enough looking, with – and I’m estimating here – around sized 36Ds which, to be fair, were her best feature and her smart work blouse made the estimate possible. I think the Hermione Granger hair put me off most.
Anyway, the interview was going fine, we were probably about 15 minutes in when I noticed that her nipples had started to show through the blouse. Now, the problem was how to pretend I hadn’t noticed. Well, I kept as much eye contact as possible, but this was obviously turning her on as when she looked down to make a note on her pad, I couldn’t help noticing that her nips were now totally engorged! This was giving me a hard-on and making it difficult to keep my mind on the questions. She was obviously having the same problem but came to both our aid by coyly slipping on her jacket which was over the back of her chair. Of course, the act of putting on a jacket while sitting down tends to push out the breasts somewhat so I was treated to one last up close vision of engorgement before they disappeared for good. I suspect that she brushed the tips of her nips with the jacket while putting it on, but that might be unfair.
Eventually, the interview ended, we shook hands and I left, feeling confident and yes….
…reader, I got the job.
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:15, Reply)
OooOo, Sabrina's aunts - I'd forgotten about them - specifically the tall one. I could do bad things with her....
I had a crush on my form tutor at college - her name was Maureen (she wasn't old enough to look like a Maureen though) - she was funny, down to earth and sexy in a teacher kindof way.
I even kept in touch with her after college when I went to Uni and she vetted some of my work. Shame she was married and had a 14 year old son (I think he was 14 then anyway) - Oh, and that I was a goofy, ugly 18 year old with no dress sense, big glasses and bad hair... (That's not how I look now thank God)
(, Fri 29 Sep 2006, 13:11, Reply)
This question is now closed.