Pills
For those of you not familiar with the BAD side effect of pills, (yes, there are some) it is commonplace to chew your cheeks and grind your teeth (commonly known as 'gurning')

We read in mixmag that if you go down to your local holland and barrett, you can buy magnesium pills over the counter which relieve you from knawing a hole in your cheek by relaxing your muscles.

We decided to go out clubbing and test this - as i'm a particularly bad sufferer, i took 3 times the recommended dosage of magnesium, followed by a couple of class A little guys.

Unfortunately, the magnesium relaxed my muscles so much that I shat myself on the dancefloor, and a brown streaky mark accompanied by a foul stench appeared on my trouser legs dripping onto the dancefloor.

Still, at least i didn't gurn :)
(well its not going to suck itself yadda yadda yadda, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 13:32, Reply)

weird drug experience
>INSERT ANYTHING THAT STUSUT79 SAYS HERE<
(well its not going to suck itself yadda yadda yadda, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 13:24, Reply)

there is a rumour
that drugs are illegal you know!
( SiX and his hat, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 13:23, Reply)

I took a kicking once whilst I was tripping...
...and that wasn't a good time at all, during or after. The experience put me off hallucinogens of any kind for a good few weeks and at the time, that was saying something.

The moral - good, friendly and preferably like-minded company is essential whilst under t'influence. DO NOT treat this as a guideline, boys and girls - it's a strict rule. Trust me :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 12:34, Reply)

Possessed
One bollock freezing November in 1994, Our college forced us to go to a Welsh activity centre to "Team Build". It was hideous. We did bond though, mainly through fear and also due to the few activity leaders that would let us buy alcohol on the way back from orienteering or whatever pointless exercise they had us do. One exercise was that we had to endure a night on a Welsh slate mountain and we all got rather drunk on Jack Daniels and smoked far too much of the "Mary Jane", as a very sheltered naive 17 year old, it all affected me rather badly and I apparently started dancing round and claiming I was possessed by a "Comedy Demon" much to everyones amusement. The next morning I felt like crap and vomited pretty much all day. This didn't stop the Welsh dictators at the centre from making me walk up Mount Snowdon with a really bad hangover, the leader guy from the night before helped me walk up the mountain and kept saying hello to passers-by as he went. At the summit, just after our leader announced that we were at the very peak of the mountain and should be proud of ourselves, I vomited on that exact point and looked round to see some German tourists filming me, so following what I thought was mountaineering etiquette I politely turned and waved saying a cheery "Hello" inbetween retching. They smiled, filmed me some more and wondered off.
So somewhere a film of me vomming like a bastard on the summit of Snowdon exists in a German tourists holiday video. And nearly 12 years later, I'm still incredibly happy about that.
(Anarchy Duck, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 12:18, Reply)

Speaking of mushrooms...
...these being the kind that you seek out and pick yourself rather than the comparitively weak farty ones you could until recently get from the headshop.

I defy anyone to say that they have consumed this type, raw or cooked, brewed or mashed and enjoyed the taste in the slightest. It was fucking rank every time. I may a)have a gourmet's palate or b)have just been shit in the kitchen along with all my mates but fuck, it minged.*

Not had those kind for years and years though, and whilst I remember a good few times fondly (if somewhat foggily), I don't miss trying to get them down me.

I remember when I finally went off them though - a few weeks after we'd picked our last one year, my mate Bob unearthed a plastic bag full of them whilst looking for something else. Looking closely we saw that the grubs that live inside them had woken/hatched and were all over the inside of the bag.

Ick.

* Yes, we washed them first
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 12:14, Reply)

thatblokeoverthere reminded me
a friend solved the fact that mushrooms just don't handle storage. make them into brew. almost fill a plastic bottle with them, squeeze a bit of the air out and tighten the top, then freeze. the theory is they'll last for months, if a little More nasty tasting, which we are not sure is possible :)
(unlawful odour i dunno..., Tue 20 Dec 2005, 12:12, Reply)

my drug episode,s
This is my 1st time post so here it goes
I have many memory’s of me being stoned but a the 3 that stick out are

1.The time I thought I forgot how to breath in all honesty iv never been so scared in all my life I just sat there sweat running down my face with a look of panic on my face thinking fuck im going to die it felt like minutes past but it must of only been a few seconds when I felt air rushing thru my lungs iv never been so happy to breath

2.ah one of my fondest memory’s after being down the pub most of the day on a nice summers day me and my two friends decided to go back to mine to get stoned in my garden as we sat there smoking we chatted for hours about how cool it would be to drive to the moon and how much fuel we would need. It made me laugh cuz my old dears bedroom window was open and im sure they heard every word. They must of known

3.finaly the time my mate went whitey at a bqq passed out fell on the kitchen floor missing a unit corner I remember me looking down thinking he must be dead after all the colour drained out of his face and I saw the fear in his eyes at being unable to move

also I rember the time my friend decided shoot my other mate with a pellet gun as he walked up my drive .I still rember the look on his face when he walked in my bedroom holding his belly as we fell about laughing
(trippingdude, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 12:10, Reply)

sightseeing
Before I became a respectable housewife and mother, I used to enjoy gubbing pills all weekend.

It was the Edinburgh Festival and the street we lived on was hoaching with tourists, sipping their lattes at the little cafes. I walk down MY STREET and take off my leather coat as it's so hot. I'm only wearing a beat up pair of addidas, blue rugby socks, a pair of pants, and a rather dashing number one haircut. I lie down on the pavement beside some tourists and declare "Nice weather we're having".

My boyfriend (now husband) quickly bundles me up the stairs to a well deserved double vodka and sleep.
(cmary, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:48, Reply)

This one time I
got through three whole packets of Double Action Lockets in about five hours.

Man I was bombed.
(Newton Crosby, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:45, Reply)

Hmmmm
Has anyone ever watch 'Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas' whilst high?

Is it just me or does it seem to have a deeper significant meaning when your screwed up? I seriously recommend that film for any drug user....except maybe if your on shrooms or acid!
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:32, Reply)

The drugs do work (Too well)
Memorable LSD moments, one was a group us going to the local lakes whilst tripping on Purple Ohms, taking 2 sets of Thai Boxing pads with us and then proceeding to have full contact fights by moonlight, no-one was hurt and it looked amazing. The other was on a very powerfule Neon blotter where the sculpted carpet had 3 foot high ridges and the wallpaper turned to snakskin. We ended up at the local park and played football(Soccer for the US)it was pitch black and we couldnt see the ball until it was a foot from our faces but we still were quick enough to avoid it. The house we had started the trip off in had never been decorated since the 1970's and in the cold light of day there were patterns everywhere.
I'm all clean now after getting a bit *edgy on hash.
*edgy = stabby.
(Rossi Runner, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:31, Reply)

hungry?
I had a bit of mars bar in my mouth for half an hour whilst on a penguin before spitting it out.
(cmary, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:14, Reply)

Aceed
when we were 14 (early 90's), me and two [other] girls dogged school on a friday to meet up with the boys to gub a different type of acid. This went on for a couple of months.

One friend had an utter bitch of a strict single mum (she's had her daughter at 16) and was determined she wouldn't turn out the same. Her curfew was 9pm.

Well, we were all having great fun in the park after a good long walk up back roads, watching walls melt, and vandalising a burnt out car thats windows hadn't been put in (what a find!).

Anyway, we were in the park and it started pissing down - everybody freaked. We three girls ran down the main street - all minus shoes,laughing uncontrollaby, knowing we had to get K in on time or she'd be on baby-sitting duty for a month. Our plan was to ask her mum if we could go and get chips even though it was 9pm so she could stay out longer. Only we couldn't stop laughing and we were *sure* we were going to be caught trippping.

Eventually, after gaining courage we walked to her back door. It was locked! We started fidgeting and I walked six feet down the path and turned my back to stifle the bubbling laughter (it was Ms first trip and she was convinced she was "going to be the one that died"). I get hissed at to come back by K as her mum is undoing the locks...the next few seconds went in slow motion.

At the precise moment when the handle was getting turned K drags her hand along her fanny , sniffs her hand, proffers it to me and says "smell my pee". Angry bitch mum opens the door ,the three of us burst out laughing in her face, roll about on the step while urinating all over each other.

She let us go to get the chips, when we put some shoes on.
(cmary, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:08, Reply)

Giant Jack
Last one, I think.

Iain, again, had pulled a whitey. He looked grim. The rest of us fuelled by trusty legal alcohol decide to draw on his face, put plant pots on his head, pour cider onto his crotch, the usual drunken antics you do to unfortunate passed out friends.

All of us took it in turns to simulate dry humping for many funny pictures, oh how funny that seemed when your drunk. Now I must point out that I was wearing a jack daniels shirt. Black silk shirt with a massive jack daniels label on the front and back. Extremley tacky yes!

As I begin to pretend to hump Iain, he wakes. No, he doesnt wake to see one of his close friends girating away whilst his other friends laugh.

No, Iain awakes to a giant 6ft jack daniels bottle humping his leg. I have never seen a look of terror on anyone like it before.

Too this day he really (and this is 100% fact) can't drink jack daniels anymore.

Good thing is, he has cut down on the weed so stops having whiteys and passing out!
(Burty, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 11:03, Reply)

It seemed to make sense at the time
A couple of years ago my Saffa flatemate moved to France and he left me what remained of his stash - one morning after coming off a night shift I decided to kick back in the garden and chain-smoke four joints.

Eight hours later I woke up and decided to text an ex of mine to tell her she had a fantastic arse. It was only on re-reading the message did I discover that the words were all in the wrong order.

As I recall, I celebrated by whacking off to the memory of said botty.
(misteroz1979, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:57, Reply)

Happy marriage in suburbia
Talk to anyone these days and you know it seems
Eventually they'll tell you about some scenes
when they were living with a druggie friend
You gotta look real serious, or at least pretend
While with a reverend awe, like they're reading a psalm
they tell you about some jerk poking a needle in his arm
and dramatically conclude 'you know, the guy was a freak'
but it's the eighth drug story you've heard this week

Well I knew a guy; he tops the lot
He wasn't on heroin, crack or pot
But it was worse than anything out of 'Monkey Grip'
He did the Happy Marriage In Suburbia trip

You know I still don't know how this guy never got busted
for being so incredibly well-adjusted
While we were all shoving chemicals up our nose,
he was out in the garden with a watering hose

At first only small things began to go wrong
He wouldn't turn up when we were having a bong
But sooner than later things began to fall apart
He'd take his girl out regular, eat a la carte

He'd look healthy and happy, it was like an alarm
He was collapsing like the veins in my arm
I'll never forget that terrible night, oh God above
When he told us he was very much in love

So they both bought a house, there was no turning back
They got into it the week that I got into crack
His face was never so ravaged with addiction
As the week he showed me his brand new kitchen

I'd sometimes go 'round there with a cap or two of horse
tell him 'kick the habit, get a divorce,'
'your wife's pregnant again,' I plead 'this'll make three
if you have another kid you're sure to OD'

But he's not even listening, he's in some delirium
His wife's doing the dishes and he's begun clearing 'em
'I love my kids, I'm happy' he'd say satisfied
But don't you know, on the nappy he was crucified

He's dead now, of course, needless to say
Family wiped off by a drunk going the wrong way
Oh, how many times has it been written, said or sung
that if you live monogamous, expect to die young

So, you can get into crack, smack, dope or speed
but don't take marriage 'cause this is where it'll lead
You experience real happiness, both physical and mental
and if you die it'll be purely accidental
tism
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:53, Reply)

Pete Sickyman
Now as I said in an earlier post, my group of friends are classed in two groups. Pissheads and Stoners.

Sat in a garden several years ago, during a brilliant summer party. Things are winding down and its around 3am. The stoners were stoned, the pissheads were pissed. All was calm and chilled.

Iain, our trusty 'never had a good trip on anything' friend has pulled a whitey. I think he went beyond that, he had gone gray, then green at this point.

Now I am incredibly drunk at the point when Iain opens his eyes. He just stares at me and starts chanting something at me. Feeling a little freaked out by the insane look in his bloodshot eyes I slowly make my way to the back gate (fnar) down the entry (tehehe).

Dave senses the bad vibes coming from iain and headsto the exit as well. The gates locked, as we turn to go and get a key, we find ourselves trapped. Iain is marching towards us like a zombie, projectile vomiting all over the show. Moaning as he takes every step. I'll admit, I feared for my life. We began to kick a couple of the bins towards him to slow him down, going as far to hitting im (with great force I might add) with garden canes.

He's wailing, neighbours lights are flicking on as he moans and begins to screech 'PETE SICKYMAN, PETEEE SICKYMAAAAAAAAAN'. Who Pete Sickyman is, I don't know. Maybe the less successful and rather ill brother of pete waterman. As we were frantically trying to open the gate he was screaming 'PUSHY PULL MAN, PUSHY PULL'.

In the end we made our escape by climbing over the 8ft gate, or falling over it. All we could here was depleted moans, sounding almost disapointed inbetween vomiting 'mmmmmmm aaa pete sickBARF, chunder man ooooooo'.

You will be glad to hear that friends reported he was fine after we made our escape. He just pissed all over his kitchen. Then made toast with piss allover his hands. Then threatened people who wouldn't eat his piss covered toast. And woke several people up by sitting cross legged infront of them, stroking a cat like a bond vilan and chanting curses at them.

Toodle pip.
(Burty, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:53, Reply)

He didn't see that coming!
Long time lurker, first time poster.

Now as we all know, in a group of friends you have the stoners, and the pissheads. My friend and I were sat in a room with 5 other friends who decided after smoking much weed to take some shrooms.

My friend and I decline the offer, fearing that the much alcohol we have consumed would lead to a bad trip, hey, we are pissheads, we have very little knowledge of drugs.

An hour to two hours pass and a couple of my friends are acting stranger than usual. Telling us how amazing their trip is. Now our friend Iain, as he was named from birth, was sat being a bit quiet, but with a smile on his face, he usually has bad trips, and this once, just once he was having a nice trip.

Too the corner of my eye I see Dave giving me that look, the knowing look, the look I love. Some of you may confuse this as a gay look, but i know it is the look of 'wait til you see what I am going to do'. It's glorious, when that look arrives, you know he is either going to say something incredibly distasteful, or do something mental.

The excitement built as Dave just shouts over 'Iain, why are those demons behind you trying to get you?'. A beer foutain errupts from my nostrils as Iains grin suddenly turns to great fear.

3 hours of screaming, hiding under tables, shouts of 'i didn't want to kill him' (he thought he had killed his own brother despite the fact he was sat 6ft away with a simpleton grin on his face'). It was pure entertainment.

Sorry not for the length, just for the fact I have my nob out.
(Burty, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:29, Reply)

Hmmmmm.... drugs
The only thing i've ever regretted on drugs was my entire life. oh well.


Justleaveitalone: You lying bastard. Pretty sure S4C didn't start until the 80's ;)
(HoBag (TM) <-- Fookin' legend, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:29, Reply)

Phoning people is silly.
One day, just before New Year's '04, I met a mate in town. Went into the pub, met some of his mates, bought 40 Stellas and went back to their place. We drank and were merry, then two of the lads left only to return with a bag of pretty pink pills.

We all took two, had a few spliffs, and before long were utterly twunted, all talking shit. I got my phone out and decided to ring some mates, at about 12am.

Talked to a few friends, then decided to ring the missus and tell her what she was missing and ask if she wanted some pills saving. I rang her, but her mother answered.

And I talked the poor woman's ear off for at least 10 minutes, going on about how 'fucking mad these pills are' and 'people are brilliant aren't they? I love this lot I do'.

Oh god.

To her credit, she was very polite and eventually put me on to my girlfriend, but she's given me funny looks ever since and refers to me as 'that unstable one'.
(sporky, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:23, Reply)

Way,way back
in the seventies when acid was good, I awoke after an evening of merriment in a room full of other sleeping hippies and deadbeats in a flat in Colwyn Bay.(North Wales) The televison had been left on, and a film was showing. As I became more alert (pah!) I realised that I had lost the power of human comprehension, and couldn't understand a word of what the actors were saying. It was an English film, there were no sub-titles, so I had obviously done permanent damage to my few remaining brain cells. Fighting down the panic in my befuddled mind, I did the sensible thing and went back to sleep.
When I woke again I remained under the blanket until I heard others moving around....and talking.
Praise be! My brain had cured itself and I could understand what was being said!
However, this weirdness had worried me considerably. I was even contemplating giving up hallucinogens..shock, horror.
A couple of weeks later, I was talking to the resident of aforementioned flat and confided my terrifying experience to him, and pondered if I would get flash-backs where it would happen again.
When he finally stopped chortling, he managed to explain that his t.v. was tuned to S4C, and I had been watching a film DUBBED IN WELSH.
Bastards.
First post....wish it was bigger.....
(Justleaveitalone, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:17, Reply)

Chased By Stuff
Another LSD story... School fields, aged about 15/16, lots of strawbs and 'srooms. Que 1 lad get up, scream like he was being murdered then set off running full pelt up the school field, around the rugby pitches, down the road, around the football pitches and back towards us... all we heard was

"bbbbaaaannnAAAAANNNNNAAAAAaaaasssss"

as he ran past, still screaming, obviously being chased and still at full tilt.

After 30 mins or or so we saw him come to a halt on the rugby pitch, totally knackered, puffing and panting like an overwieght labrador, We sauntered up, me nodding and saying hello to twig men that were getting up and walking away (it was autumn, lots of branches and twigs on the ground) , asked him what was up. Apparently he'd seen the 'Evil Bananas' from the 'Munch Bunch' yoghurt adverts ( Bananas with legs, arms, and cool black shades) conspiring to kill him... but HE HEARD THEM.. THEY WERE CATCHING HIM - and with that - he was up and off again, faster than linford christie... down the road... around the footie pitches..etc..etc..

Why does time go so slow on acid? we'd walk for MILES waiting for it to wear off before heading home....
(TheManofScience, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:17, Reply)

TB
First time I went to Amsterdam, I was in the company of a friend.
Sitting in a coffee bar, baked off our tits, he remarks "I can't stay here - gotta leave."
"Why?" says I.
"Haven't got TB," says he.
"Huh?"
"Sign there says Consumption required", says he...
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 10:06, Reply)

Sorry, I guess some people aren't affected
A girl I worked with knew I was a total nerd/innocent/sweet-little-kid, and wanted to try an experiment ... what's it like the first time someone gets high? I knew she was good people ie she wouldn't hurt me, so I agreed to be a guinea pig.

I went to her place - me, she, and her hubby watched a movie and passed around a few fatties. "So tell me - how does it feel" asks she. I answer quite honestly that I don't notice anything different. We all share another, followed by another bout of quizzes (same answer)

Time for me to leave - she apologizes for the failed demonstration, and I offer the theory "Maybe I'm one of those who aren't affected"

I hop in my car for the ride home, fire it up and start down the street (It's around midnight, so this neighborhood is quite - no traffic). I notice something funny - the parked cars on both sides of the road are "approaching" me in sort of slow-motion, then zooming past me as I drive by...

I murmur a Keanu-like "whoa" -- so this is what being high is like -- I better slow down so I could live to relate the story in the morning

I look down at the speedometer ... 20 mph
(spiderplex, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 5:30, Reply)

When I was stoned...
One of the blokes who left the party early accidently took the lighter with him. So I volunteered to go to the shop that, normally was a minute's walk.

On the way to the shop I notice a really comfy looking bench. I sit on it for about 15 minutes. Then I decide I really want a cigarette. So I get a cigarette out and go to light it...but I have no lighter.

So, I then decide to go to the shop which took about 10 minutes to get there - I have no idea why it took so long.

So using my logic, I figure the most sensible thing to do would be to buy matches, go to bench, have a cig, go back to shop, buy lighter, go back to party- Genius!

I get to the shop, then the sight of all food triggers the munchies. I buy about 10 bags of crisps, a multipack of chocolate bars and a pack of sliced cheese, as well as the matches. I was in the shop for about 15 minutes.

I go back to the bench, eat all said food, smoke a cig, throw the matches away, and head back to the shops. This took about an hour.

I spend 10 mins in the shop deciding which lighter to buy. So I buy 7 different lighters. All different colours. Yay!

I have to ring my friend to ask him which house is his ("the one with music and people in the garden" was his reply. "Oh Yeah" said me)

Got even more stoned! Yay!!!!

On a totally unrelated incident, some bloke I met called Ben at a party was rather high and drunk and I was telling him about b3ta and how someone once got chili on their cock. And so he tried it. He actually put chilli powder in his foreskin! Was possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen!
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 3:24, Reply)

Shrooms
The universe was in a candle, I had you all in my sights.

Still can't look at a candle without seeing the whole of the universe, or at least our solar system.
(kev.cc, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 3:05, Reply)

I
regret the fact that I can never seem to remember what happend.

I just know how much fun I had by how swolen my head feels in the morning.
(Slartibartfast.... designer of coastlines, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 2:29, Reply)

hello everybody
this isn't as exciting as everyone elses shroom stories but still tickles me. It was one of those great moments where everyone in the room contributes to a great moment. After a heavy smoking session, a pal for no reason at all said in an Irish accent: "Mwah ha ha ha". A little taken back by this, I asked my friend why he said this. Given we had just been talking about the colonel and KFC, my weak minded friend said he thought he was a chicken. To which my other friend added that he was male so he wouldn't be a chicken - he would be a cockerel. So i pointed out to my friend that he had actually said "mwah ha ha" in an irish accent because he is a cock.
(paintboy, Tue 20 Dec 2005, 1:28, Reply)