I am surprised that I am about to share this.
Ha, this is embarassing.
The first time I took E I was about 16 i think. I took one, to no effect, then another a while later. Nothing happened. I thought I had spent my hard earned paper-round money on paracaetemol so went off home unimpressed.

Apparently, when my mum came to wake me up the next morning, I was lying on my back in my bed, naked, with my hands and legs in the air, with my duvet draped over them. As if that wasn't quite embarassing enough, seemingly i wouldn't give up until my mother was safe with me in my 'bomb shelter'.
Heh, I still dont remember any of this but i can't imagine my mum would make it up.
(betterpants, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 15:17, Reply)

Went to Thorpe Park on shrooms once...
'twas good fun although I was extremely paranoid when we were told that random drug searches were being done at the gate. Didn't take enough shrooms to hallucinate but I was pretty out of it. My friends said I should take shrooms more often.

Another time we were getting stoned and my mate (who was very stoned) picked up a bent stick and was convinced he was the grim reaper.

Also have a habit of doing poppers in school. My media studies teacher can never work out why me and my mates are on the floor pissing ourselves laughing all the time. Another friend of mine got suspended from college for doing poppers in the college grounds (apparently there's no way of identifying it so for all they know he could have been doing heroin).

Another time on weed we were sitting around the fire pit (where we usually get stoned), I got up, spun around and fell into the fire pit. There was no fire, fortunately.

I will hopefully be making hash cakes for Christmas.
(WaffleMonster, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 14:36, Reply)

We're gonna Diiiiiiieeeeeee!
Ahhhh LSD! I can vividly remeber one night after taking a little too much rather strong LSD.

Night started out well enough. kept telling everyone I was G.I. Joe tank commander, thought I had on these massively oversize and comical looking army boots and spent a good few hours stomping around in the rain amusing myself.
Then I went back into the club we were at. Now you know the way acid increases your body temp? Well I was so warm I couldn't work out if I was actually wet or not. I knew I'd been out in the rain for a few hours but every time I asked a mate of mine if I was wet I kept thinking he was taking the piss each time he said I was - meanwhile there was a large pool of water forming around me as I stood there.

Next we decided to go back to a mates house to see in the dawn. The acid had really really kicked in by now and I was starting to have this sort of mini blackouts. Now as we are driving through the rain I'm sitting in the back seat (no seat belt) thinking wow it feels like the cars sliding around - mini blackout/ and come to -and now I'm looking out the windscreen from the back seat watching the windscreen wipers moving in slow motion and the world spinning in the headlights.

I suddenly start to panic and grabbed for my seat belt shouting "Ooooohhhhhh Noooooooooo, we're gonna diiiiiieeeeeee!" ( I'm told I did this all in slow motion). My mate sitting next to me equally fucked up just sat there blinking for a while before realising what was going on and saying it's cool man we're just doing a U-turn.


Ahh the memories.
(Neuromancer, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 14:32, Reply)

Ben Shaw's is probably the best.
I'm partial to a drop of American Cream Soda too!
(stusut79, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 14:28, Reply)

Fran
I absolutely love d&b! sent you an e-mail.
(Minty Hit, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 14:17, Reply)

Possibly the best question of the week
when i was about 16 me and my friends got drunk on the most horrible of all drinks 20/20.
we was in a forest when we found an old motorbike. we pushed each other around having a generally good time when my mate said it would be more fun to try to hotwire it. so i decided to check if there was any petrol in it.
thinking that even if it was empty it would still smell of petrol i decided to have a look for some liquid. what did i use? a torch, my mobile? nope, i used a fucking lighter.
BOOM.
we all flew back as the tank ignited, luckily it was empty and just the fumes caught alight but what a dumb thing to do.
that did not deter me from another episode a few years later while in my friends garage.
we decided to spray lynx all over a tennis ball and light it. playing fireball. it was great until the sofa caught fire. luckily my mate is huge and a nutter so he lifter the flaming settee out of the garage. it was only after we realised all the gas pipes ran through his garage.
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Thu 22 Dec 2005, 14:05, Reply)

@ Minty
Are you into dnb then? I play dnb!

Its my Flatmate thats hosting the Liquid drum and bass room at Moondance! (Essence Of Chi)

Sadly I am not playing :-( have only been mixing a year and at the time of sorting out a line up I had never played in a club before! :-(
(Fran, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 13:45, Reply)

Do not run from coppers....
A friend of mine was travelling through Brighton with quite a hefty block of resin on him when the boys in blue decided to stop him and ask a few questions. Bless him, he did what he could but nerves got the best of him and he legged it, the fool.

Not actually wanting to arrest him at that time, the coppers followed him for about three streets when my friend realised that he wasn’t going to lose them. Knowing that he could be arrested for such a large chunk of Mary Jane, but not for being on it, he swallowed the entire block in one go and turned himself over to the police.

They let him out when he came down three days later. Apparently he’d spent the last three days in a cell, giggling, drooling and soiling himself.

They were glad to see him go.
(Mr Evian, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 13:28, Reply)

NYE
Moondance does look good

I was thinking of going to the Birmingham NEC:

www.slamminvinyl.com/eflyers/nyenec/index.htm

I see Pendulum are playing at both!!!
(Minty Hit, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Mash Up!
You should all come to Moondance new years eve!

Will be a mega mash up!
(Fran, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 12:57, Reply)

Response to xphious & Minty_hit
whoop whoop well up for that! will have to arrange transport for the b3ta Scotland contingent! B.Y.O.D
(Lamby, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 12:26, Reply)

response to Minty_Hit
FUCKIN'AY!
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:59, Reply)

I will learn honest!
After I saw a newspaper article on the death of Lorna Spinks from taking E's I sent an email to the Mirror explaining that if Clubs lowered their drink prices then people would stop taking pills so much and also mentioned that I took them cos of price issues and also cos they was fun but after reading the article I would consider not doing them again.

Next day I get a phone call from my uncle shouting that I took drugs! I went and bought the mirror and there on the letters page with a massive sub title saying "I WILL LEARN DRUG LESSON" was my letter in full glory with my full name and age and location!

damn I was stoned when I sent the email I didnt think to give a fake name!
(Fran, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:58, Reply)

Maniac Axe Murderer!
On reflection I guess my mother was right when she told me not to hang around with the wrong crowd.

It would probably be fair to say that each and every one of my friends has been involved in some kind of illegal activity over the last 10 years, however these are the usual non violent, drug related crimes (dealing, possession, smuggling, selling pescription medicine, organising illegal raves etc.)

One evening a good friend and I went to score from one of the more dubious local dealers. Typical council estate flat with no carpets filty floors, huge TV (not transvestite), 3 dogs, 10 cats and a filty baby crawling around.

We had to wait for a while for said dealer to go and dig up his coke from the park accross the road so sat having a beer and a smoke with his cousin. Nice chap who proceded to roll us all joints and share his speed with us too. After about half an hour Mr Dealer came home with his stash and the business was done. His cousin convinced us to stay for another beer and amused us with stories of drunken antics etc. We finally left at about midnight very drunk, very stoned and off our tits on charlie!

Nice story....where's the catch.

Fast forward to the following morning and my friend and I are watching TV. Local news item. Crazed axeman kills three in cold blood. Police are searching for a sadistic killer who tied up three people and killed them using an axe and a chissle (ouch!) When the photo of the suspect came up on the screen I almost had a fit. Yup it was our dealers cousin. He had murdered the victims and then dropped in on his cousin to calm down. Apparently they had pissed him off!

Nice!
(monkeyboy13, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:44, Reply)

It has been a good QOTW

...some sort of B3TA mash-up might be in order!
(Minty Hit, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:38, Reply)

Nice
This is the best question of the week for ages.
I've read every page and laughed alot.

I dont really do many drugs, but im going to do more.

Roll on a christmas coke feast.
(grr_boy, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:35, Reply)

After a wee bit too much to drink...
I got dressed up in my armour and went to the off licence to buy more wine.

Not quite sure why, but there I was, striding down the street in chain mail, mail gauntlets and a few other bits of plate mail (it's not easy putting it all on by yourself you know, especially when drunk) surcoat, shield on one arm and visored helmet held in the crook of the other.

My street is a little dark on the pavement side. This couple appeared in the distance walking in my direction and were starting to look a little concerned as they got near me (only a little concerned though, as it seems to take a lot to take people in London completely by surprise, worse luck).

As I walked past them I said "Nice (K)night!)

I have been waiting for a chance to do that stupid pun for *years*.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:28, Reply)

The worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to….
Post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to post random crap on B3TA about how the worst thing I have ever done while on drugs is to EXPLODE!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 11:28, Reply)

Nutmeg
Heard from somewhere that grating some fresh nutmeg into a spliff gives you some good hallucigions. Some after eating some shrooms I though I would spice up my joint with some. Rolled a big guy and sat outside on my balcony and smoked it. I was sitting there peaceful minding my own business and a police helicopter came out of the sky, a massive beam of light shown down on me and a cop on a bull horn start yelling at me. I ninjad my way behind the wall on the balcony so they could see me anymore. At that moment my roomies girlfriend came out onto the balcony. I screamed at her to get down or the cops would get us. What Cops? she asked. I looked over the balcony. There was a helicopter but it was miles away.

I also saw a guy with a cheeter on leash in the garden next door one morning and I was completely sober. honest
(El Wapo, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 10:38, Reply)

Just remembered another
seventies trippy thing.
A group of ne'er-do-wells in a 4th floor flat, all off our faces when my then-boyfriend decided he must have a bacon butty immediately if not sooner. He strides confidently across the room, opens a window and attempts to climb through it. We pulled him back by his belt, so the only damage was wedgie-induced, but it goes to prove one thing....
L.S.D did not make hippies believe they could fly.
It made them believe all kitchens were located in mid-air.
(Justleaveitalone, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 8:25, Reply)

It's not me, it's the drugs talking...
...Take us...
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 8:24, Reply)

Gypsies and weed do not mix
I was 18 when I first tried out cannabis. I'd just decided that I wanted to get it out of the way before I went to University, so I know what to expect. Being good friends with Dean, a guy who was very heavily into any drugs he could get his hands on at the time, this meant I thought I'd be in safe hands.

The night was planned for the day my parents and sister went away on holiday, leaving the house very much to myself.

As a precursor to the main event, Dean and I ate a small amount of resin he had in his posession, and proceeded to have a rather strange conversation about Ant's Cocks, which we'd both reasoned had to have been pretty damn big given the size of the Queen Ant. I would just picture a normal-sized ant with a human cock dragging between his legs.

Anyway, the main event drew closer, and a day or two before another friend of mine, Dunk, decided he wanted in as well, so we dispatched Dean to go and get a nice quarter of squidgy black for us all, which he happily obliged, returning with a couple of bonus trips.

The fateful night arrived. Dunk and Dean turned up, armed with drugs, and given that only Dean smoked at that time, Dunk and I set about Mollying some of the weed. In this case, trying unsuccessfully to dissolve it in warm milk on Dean's instructions. Having no scales, and no real prior experience, it was a little difficult to work out how much to put in there, but I would estimate that maybe just under a 1/16th went into my milk, which I drank with all its resiny goodness.

A couple of hours later, and nothing had really happened. Dunk had opted to try a bit of Dean's acid, who had in turn necked the other 1 1/2 tabs. I thought "fuck it", and necked the remainder of my 1/8th. This turned out in retrospect to be a fatal move.

Some other friends of ours turned up, and we wandered up to the local playground to sit, talk, and have a beer. All was still good, after over 3 hours from taking the first drink. Dean, however, was now feeling the effects and had gone off to sit on the concrete circle where there had once been a merry-go-round.

Upon going to try and talk to him, he just kept going about being a "fucking cabbage" and not to try talking to him due to his cabbageness. I left him to it for a while, then dragged both him and Dunk back down to my house.

On the way back down the hill, it was obvious that the trip had hit Dunk, who was now giggling like an utter loon, and convinced that he was on the biggest rollercoaster in the world. Dean just kept muttering about the floor being made of cabbages.

Back in the house, still stone cold sober, I decided to put on some music, and being a bit evil to the others went straight for Dark Side of the Moon, and sat in between the speakers watching them both spack out.

And then it hit. A little way into "On the Run", a wave of utter fuckedness washed over me as the THC started to course through my brain. I couldn't keep stable on the armchair at all; I kept feeling as if I was going to fall backward through it and just keep on going. I held onto the chair for dear life as the trance-like music eminating from the speakers felt as if it was electrocuting me. I didn't dare move, but knew I just had to stop the music before those fucking alarm clocks on the next track cut in.

After that, the fear set in something chronic. Dunk had discovered where my crisps were, and happily munched through almost 20 bags of them. Dean had wandered out of the house as he wanted to commune with the cabbages on that concrete circle some more. He returned about three minutes later unable to remember where he was going, and promptly just went to sleep.

I did all I was capable of to prevent me from going over the edge; washing up. When I'd finished I washed it all again for good measure. Then I went to bed, unable to sleep as every time I closed my eyes I was getting strong visuals, and felt like I was falling through space and time, and whenever I had my eyes open, could just hear short bursts of music. I briefly considered jumping out of the window to make it all end, but convinced myself that it would be better just to throw up and try again.

Time dillation then hit with avengance. I was capable of moving anywhere in the house in the blink of an eye, like a speeded up movie. I ran to the bog, and chundered in record time, and then ran around the house a bit for good measure like a hummingbird on crack.

Then I passed out.

The following afternoon when I finally woke up, I found both friends had gone home. I meekly tried to get on with tasks, only too aware that the cannabis was still coursing through my veins. Time had gone the other way now, and things were going very much in slow motion. I could watch the individual droplets of water fall from the watering can onto the plants my folks had instructed me to keep moist. I attempted to cook a roast. It didn't work. I only tried cooking it for about 10 minutes.

And then the real fun started. My neighbour and both her young children popped round with some sweets to pass onto my parents as a thankyou for watering their plants whilst on holiday. I sat there, reddened and droopy eyes, trying to comprehend these tiny people who had invaded my house and were now asking me the most pointless questions. Their mum in turn asked if I was alright, and to my great relief managed to blag that I was coming down with the flu or something.

That was enough to dispense with them, but didn't prepare me for the next visitor, who turned out to be a rather old and craggy gypsy who reminded me of a cross between Noddy and a partially decomposed corspe. It seems had decided to knock on my door to get some money to buy some petrol, as he was skint. My brain was almost oozing out of my ears as I listened to his tale, and it didn't even occur to me that the closest petrol station was well over half a mile away, with about 80 houses in between. Why he chose my door, I have no idea. I can only assume he was some form of stoned pillock fairy.

Once he finished spinning his yarn, I realised I had no change at all, so, for some inexplicable reason I staggered two doors down to another neighbour and got her to break up a £20 note so I could give him a couple of quid and get rid of him.

After that, I locked myself in the house, and made a fort out of the chair cushions to protect myself from any further harm.

I think I stopped being stoned about two days later, and was mentally exhausted for weeks afterwards. But it did the trick - I knew pretty much the worse that cannabis could do to me, and treated it very much with respect from that moment onwards.
(Glis, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 1:48, Reply)

Giant turds
As a late teenager, quite utterly stoned one time with a few mates, talking bollocks as per usual. One friend started conversation with the line, "God I've been so constipated. Last night I did a shit the size of Africa".

It later occured to us that he probably meant 'shape' rather than 'size', but for a beautiful hour, we just all tried to comprehend a turd which would be quite clearly visible from outer space, and could stink out about a quarter of the planet.
(Glis, Thu 22 Dec 2005, 1:04, Reply)

Solid troubles
Last year, a group of us were at a friend's birthday party at his house, altough we were under strict 'no funny stuff' orders, beacause his parents would be, to say the least, mightily pissed off at having a large number of drunk/alternatively mentally incapacitated teenagers romping round their house for the entire night. I wasn't hugely affected by this, as the hardest drug I do is alcohol, but one of our number had brought an enormous lump of resin (I think, although my knowledge of cannabis is sadly minimal) with him, and wasn't going to waste such a golden opportunity.

However, he had no access to whatever equipment one needs to smoke the stuff.

So he ate it, the fat shit.

So, whilst the rest of us had fun with wwe wrestling mathches on the playstation, he lay curled up in the corner, under his coat, sweating profusely, and almightily stoned out of his skull. This is how he spent the entire night. Any time one of us tried to talk to him, he just lunged at us.

For this, and a variety of other reasons, we call him Mad Dog.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 22:50, Reply)

Noooooo! Leave them balls alooooone!
Once me and a mate were extremely stoned from skunk after a plethera of 3 litre 'waterfalls' (tm). We're sitting in his room, watching snooker on the TV, when we both develop an immense fear from watching each ball fall down into a pocket. Every time a player goes for a pot, we both whimper with apprehension, and as the ball rolls straight for a pocket, our whimpers concurently evolve into something of a shrill girly scream. Eventually a house mate burst in, in response to the commotion, only to find myself trouserless, face down on the floor having fainted, and my friend straddled unconscious over the little TV, with his cock out, after having apparently urinated over the poor electrical device.

I blame the snooker.
(Maggot Brain's Magic Minge Dust Muffster, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 21:10, Reply)

poppers at glastonbury
they're a rubbish drug I know but I am young so you'll forgive me.

Spent the last night of the festival snorting copious amounts of poppers and running around the site looking with wide eyed amazement at all the brilliant stalls and people having wasted the first two nights passed out/at the open air cinema. Somewhere around 5am we find ourselves in the cinema field. Big sniff of poppers, then;

Me: Ben, why are you green?
Friend: I'm not
Me: Oh.
brief pause
Me: I'm going for a shit.

After that he wasnt green anymore.
(scumbum, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 20:31, Reply)

You may picturify.


Although yes, I'm not a mod.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 18:38, Reply)

Paranoid
Despite a shady past, I don't touch anything stronger than caffeine now. So when I got married this summer, I was quite concerned that my idiot soon-to-be-brother-in-law was going to spike the punch at the reception.

Preserved for posterity, our picture of the toast is of me shoving my nose into the glass to sniff for "alterations."

I can't tell if the look on my wife's face was "I think it's okay, baby" or "You moron! I can't believe you are sniffing the punch! Geez, I'm so embarassed!"


( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 18:22, Reply)

unloved
Making stuff up on b3ta is dispicable! Shame on you!!!
(stusut79, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 17:25, Reply)

messy
I was 'larging it' in Cream during its early days, and was thoroughly off me bonce on some quite vision-disturbing doves, when I saw a couple of lovely young ladies enjoying a Vicks inhaler. I strutted (staggered) over and pointed to it, then myself, whilst grinning (drooling/gurning)...to indicate I would like to partake.
One of the young ladies happily handed it over, and I rammed it up my nose and inhaled deeply.
Then I realised it wasn't a Vicks inhaler. It was a strawberry lip balm.
Ewww....
( gunkyfibbon ...acting his shoe size, not his age, since, Wed 21 Dec 2005, 17:14, Reply)