There is nothing to complain about.
The BBC is perfect and you have a home and food so you can pay for it.
If you have a home and a job then your pension being worth fuck all is not anything you are allowed to moan about.
You are rich so the fact your taxes are being used to pay for wars around the world is not your concern and you have no right to moan.
You have running water and a roof over your head so you have no right to ingest any substance your superiors decide you ought not to have.
You were born in the UK so have no right to complain that other UK citizens are taken by the US to offshore prison facilities.
Your water comes from a tap so you have no right to find it unacceptable that people are harassed for taking photographs in public places.
If you live in the first world your government is beyond reproach and you have no reason to criticise.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 23:12, 2 replies)

One of my sisters-in-law
Spent a long time crowing over people when she found out about the tuition fee rising, as she was just about to graduate. "It's brilliant!" She said, "It means I'll be more employable, because less people will want to get my degree! The people I'd have been competing with will all have to work in McDonalds instead!"

For some reason I can't muster up any sympathy for her now, when she whines incessantly about not being able to get a job because of all the people who worked their way up rather than getting a degree.*


*Not that I have anything against the degree route. I just think some jobs require experience, while others might require more field knowledge.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 23:09, 12 replies)

I live in Germany, I am limited to one variety of spring onions and cannot find butternut squash.
How am I supposed to follow Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstalls' recipes?!
(fleuronics, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 23:07, 4 replies)

When I have posted a reply to a QOTW story
and then click the Go Back button at the bottom of the page and it goes back to the most recent story , not where I was last reading.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 23:02, 7 replies)

I'm watching The Thick of It on Netflix
and the sound over the BBC logo is slightly too loud.

FFS
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 22:56, 1 reply)

People who let their dogs shit in the street and don't remove it.
Not only is this antisocial, irresponsible and downright fucking disgusting it's also illegal. But, it happens all the time. It is not acceptable in any way and the tabloids are missing a trick by not mounting some campaign to demonise the revolting cunts who are responsible. It should be a mandatory night in the cells for the first offence and take the dog away and fucking shoot it if it ever happens again.
( routine has perfected burgers, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 22:50, 13 replies)

There are too many varieties of strawberry to chose from
And don't get me started on the cream.
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 21:40, 3 replies)

My iPhone
I had it replaced today and after restoring from a backup, I have all the apps I've ever downloaded (not the ones I've been using) and none are in folders so instead of 2½ pages of neatly-arranged icons, I have 12 fucking pages to restore and organise.

Plus I had to go into an Apple store to get it changed; filthy, sickening experience that it is.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 21:13, 5 replies)

I've been holding off all day on this, but fuck it.
People who swear at their children. Why? If you want them to grow up to be model citizens, why treat them like shit from day one?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 21:07, 10 replies)

Urgent appeal?
Each time I go into my kitchen - no matter the time of day - there it is.

Cue the sad music - on violin;

This, is an urgent appeal from feed the cats.
(Factorandvibration, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 20:41, 2 replies)

Ungrateful Children
Who kick off because their parents haven't bought them the right kind of expensive gift. "Oh my god I wanted a GREEN car, not BLUE! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU!"
Never mind that mum and dad went without a holiday to pay for the car, or that there are children out there in such poverty that the only time they'd ever get to sit in a car was if they were being arrested. No, Whiney McBitchface Jr doesn't like the colour, and that's all that matters.

This is a good example of the sort of shit that really winds me up. "Waaah! I didn't get an iphone! Christmas is ruined!" Grow up.
(Spectacular Biscuits, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 20:20, 6 replies)

Call of Duty on PS3
I bet conscripted child soldiers in Africa don't have to endure lag and host migration.
( P45 Sent by my Bosch 509e in the year 2000, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 20:17, 1 reply)

Cowardly Tory boys who delete half their illinformed rants.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 20:03, 3 replies)

I bought a puppy today
but when I opened the tin it was full of chum.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Imagine that you have a surfeit of time and/or money.
Maybe both (perhaps you are in the enviable position of running a large banking institution?). In a fit of selflessness, you decide to use this precious resource to help eradicate one of the many evils in this world. Good for you! The world needs more of your sort.
What will you do? Perhaps donate some money to buy food/shelter for one of the starving millions? Travel to a remote village to help dig a well/sanitise the water supply? Maybe you'd like to do something closer to home, and give a child a chance at a better life by fostering? Cancer - that's pretty nasty, and we don't have a cure yet, nor enough palliative care nurses.
So many deserving causes. Which should be the recipient of your generous gift?
But wait! What's this? Somewhere, a dog is unwanted by its owners. If someone can't give it a new home, it may have to be put down. Oh noes! This is a traged beyond measure. Luckily, you are here to help.

Sorry, I'm waffling on a bit. I'll cut to the chase: animal welfare charities (and their supporters) - self indulgent toss, at least to my mind.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 19:29, 2 replies)

i dont have any first world problem's

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 19:24, 4 replies)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 19:16, Reply)

Young People Can't Afford Cars
Getting right on my tits recently was the flurry of 'news' stories wringing their hands over the fact that students can no longer afford cars and are having to resort to - shock horror - public transport to get around as if this was somehow an infringement of their human rights.

You fucking spoilt expect-it-all pampered cunts.
(Harry Webshiter Spiggley biggley bog., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 19:03, 12 replies)

oneinthepink has reminded me


These fuckers. You see them, sitting there like lovely truffle filled things? You fucking see them?

A good 10% of the time they're solid chocolate. Thieving cunt chocolatiers.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:40, 1 reply)

Bridezillas
I caught a bit of this programme once or twice and watched in appalled fascination.
If you don't know it, the gist is: grown women, frequently affluent, having tantrums because their wedding isn't going exactly to plan.
Apparently the day, and hence the rest of eternity, can be utterly ruined by not having napkins in the correct shade of chavette pink.
Please tell me this is just a Yank thing.
(Big D, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:39, 4 replies)

People who claim to have "food intolerances"
haven't.
(ubergeekian, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:24, 12 replies)

It really really really really annoys me...
...when people overuse the same adverb. Also I hate it when people don't finish their
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:21, Reply)

People who think Richard Dawkins is shrill/spiky/ascerbic...
...but who haven't actually listened to what he says and how he says it. He's a lovely old bloke, very polite, who just doesn't suffer fools gladly.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:20, 12 replies)

Goths
Stop complaining that people don't appreciate you, because we all know that you only dress in that fucking stupid way to draw attention to yourselves. You'd complain a fuck of a lot more if people did appreciate you.
(ubergeekian, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 18:14, 3 replies)

Entitled types who refer to their pets as "fur babies" and insist they are like children
And whinge on about the lengths they must go as their precious little one has food allergies and can only eat steamed free-range chicken and imported lean ground bison.

You bought it from a puppy mill-supplied pet shop, of course it's been inbred and is eventually going to cost you more than the $2.000USD you plunked down for it...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKGYwa0gM0E&feature=relmfu
( kila is reading clocks upside-down as usual, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 17:49, 3 replies)

I had a lovely conversation with my mother
who was moaning about not getting to sleep on her flight home yesterday. From the Bahamas. In First Class.

I had very little sympathy.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 17:42, Reply)

Brummie types that refer to their children as "The Babby"
especially when said Babby is just graduating from university....
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 1 Mar 2012, 16:46, 8 replies)

This just about covers it.
b3ta.com/questions/corporateidiocy/
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Emo Facebook statuses about how dreadful their current predicament is..
..and how they are really a nice person who deserve a decent break and how they can't understand how 'Karma' is currently being so bad to them.

Despite being found guilty of benefit fraud only a few months previously.

Followed by the sycophants who post coo-cooing responses of encouragement on their Emo thread.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 16:32, 5 replies)