Oh the pleasure!
I do love the simple joy of irrritating tourists, or any random people. I once travelled up to Bath (i live in ESussex) just to ask random people if they liked my shoes or how to get to Canterbury. A lot of them liked my shoes, but NONE knew where Canterbury was.
Understandably my mates think im a bit weird, as i also say hello to strangers in the street as if i know them.
Happy days.
(Fireinzehole, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:25, Reply)

When I get sunburn
And the skin starts to peel, I love peeling it off.
(therocker, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:22, Reply)

The internet
I like to look up everyone I have known in the past just to see if the are on there. I also like joining forums that some of my friends are members of just to see what they have written. I would never post or be nasty or anything its just fun to see what they write.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:19, Reply)

masturbating to pornography
but then we all do that.
it would make us feel guilty if people were watching or knew.
and its a pleasure.

maybe i should have made my username more anonymous if i was going to make posts like this. rather than using my name. oh well.

i also enjoy taking my shirt off.
not while masturbating though.
thats just disgusting.
(riedacher_bertram, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:17, Reply)

darkmavis89
i totally, utterly and unequivocally agree. that is the best thing in the world.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:16, Reply)

It wasnt much of a pleasure
But i once read the Daily Mail.
And the Sun.

(I say "read"...)
(Crompo, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:14, Reply)

guilty pleasures
I take an almost sick amount of pleasure in correcting people. Pronunciations, spellings, it doesn't matter, i really bloody love it. Only problem is, i get it wrong some of the time...


Well, quite a lot of the time really...
(darkmavis86, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:02, Reply)

This is vile but...
I really like trying to produce the biggest, stickiest bogey I can before squidging it between my fingers and looking at the patterns. Then I really really like to roll it until it becomes rubbery and throw it at the bin. I think this is half the pleasure I get from snorting coke - it produces some stonkers!

More innocently I love the smell of old blu-tac, and I really like to squidge it and look at the patterns. Occasionally I make a little blu-tac Jesus too.

Oh, I forgot, I really like producing the smelliest fart I can under the duvet and then sniffing it and taking pride in how awful it is.

And I really like lying in the bath and letting the water flow out before moving myself up and down it, trying to create a vacuum and make a huge noise, audible downstairs. It really annoys my wife!! Only downside is that sometimes it leaves a huge bruise on my lower back.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 7 Apr 2005, 12:01, Reply)

applying for free stuff
always apply for free stuff and junk using my pets name. every week i am garanteed to receive various offers from credit/pension companies, and they are all for my dog, toby. that bloody dog has better offers than i do.

also using the paid envelopes and sending rubbish back to the companies
(craney, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:54, Reply)

Celeb Websites
Secretly reading trashy celeb websites (because you wouldn't be seen DEAD buying Hello or Heat).
(finbarr, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:52, Reply)

Wrestling
A friend recently got me back into it (i was a massive fan in my early teens until girls and music entered my life) and now i'm utterly obsessed again. I spend my days reading wrestlecrap.com and news websites trying to find out more and hiding this activity from my colleagues.

My wrestling DVD collection is also swelling with each passing day. My wife despises them and makes me hide them in a special cupboard so guests don't see them and realise that i am a redneck. If she finds me watching the wrestling she makes me feel like i've been caught watching porn.
(mudflaps, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:51, Reply)

mmmm
Squeezing blackheads out and having nice fresh skin.

They smell slightly, too....
(finbarr, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:51, Reply)

.
Turkish Delight.

I love that squishy purple crap.

EDIT: Oh, and Ready Stready Cook.
(Jon Norris, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:50, Reply)

Dirty, DIRTY!!
I once had a wank in an ex-girlfriends parents bed, came under her mums pillow and left it there. The parents were on hols and came back the following night. Not seen that ex since we split but still good to know after 8 years that her old mum has sweet dreams on a crusty pillow...
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:47, Reply)

Drive by directions
It's not big, it's not clever but I do find it funny.

When out driving with a friend, pull up to any old random in the street and ask them for directions, the more obvious the place you're asking for directions for the better (like asking tourists directions for Big Ben when the c*nting big clock tower is juts down the road) when they start telling you where it/there is, just simply drive of. The expression on their faces can only be bettered if they actually start chasing after your car trying to give you the last of the directions.

NB - make sure the road behind you is clear before driving off.
(Let's all have an asbo, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:46, Reply)

A couple of xmases ago...
... dropped a silent-but-banned-by-the-Geneva-convention whilst at the in-laws.

They blamed the dog and sent him into the cold,cold garden.

EXCELLENT!
( Argh-wrath ... is a very lame Glorantha joke, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:45, Reply)

peoplewatching
i love trying to decipher other people's lives - usually with no factual basis other than the clothes they're wearing, the expression on their face, and what they're doing for the two minutes they're in my field of vision.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:45, Reply)

lots of stuff
Walking around naked in the apartement,

Cracking knuckles, my neck, my back, knees, other joints in fingers....my toes...every joint in my body is b0rked.

Having the occasional look at an e-zine page sometimes featuring pictures of one of my ex-girlfriends, who is now an underwear and fettish clothes model. (no, I will not post the page here) :)

Reading books at work when I should be doing work-related things.

Walking around the lab with my boombox playing loud music when everyone's gone for the day. And racing down the corridors with a litte trolley that's standing here (I can do the most amazing turns on that thing)

well, there's probably more....
( The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:41, Reply)

Guilty pleasures
Spraying bathroom cleaner/shampoo onto the occasional wood louse that ventures into my sight whilst worshipping at the porcelain alter. Then watching the little multi-legged freaks struggle their way free. Hmmm thats concerning me now I have written it down.
(evio101, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:40, Reply)

singing in my car
windows down, music on very loud and singing my heart out. and occasionally dancing in my seat too - have made many people in M25 traffic jams laugh at me but I usually don't care and sometimes they join in.
( Lynxkitten, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:34, Reply)

Eating/Drinking something I haven't yet bought at a supermarket
Sometimes a smoothie, sometimes a packet of tomatoes... and I always 'sample' the strawberries from Sainsbury's buffet counter thing.
( Micro Prawnvica, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:30, Reply)

Another one...
I have a large-gauge earring, which I fidget with all the time... then sneakily sniff my finger to see if it smells 'a bit cheesy'.

Niiice...
( B00gle-H00ps Looks like a horse, in a man costume..., Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:22, Reply)

Having a really good root around my unbeleivably waxy ears with the corner of a wet towel.

Fine if I am at home but I will do it where-ever I am. At a hotel, at my nans at my girlfriends parents house.

I once did it at church.
( theWooinator, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:22, Reply)

Guilty Pleasures
Definitely walking around the house naked. Except when the doorbell rings.. Will have to stop soon when the baby arrives. Don't want the CPS getting involved.

Scratching my arse, with the option of smelling my finger

Did I just think that or type that?

Too late
(monkeyht1, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:15, Reply)

Junk (snail) mail
I derive an enormous amount of satisfaction from extracting all the advertising crap (the stuff without name/address on), mixing them up and using the freepost envelopes.

Mint get Egg, Egg get Capital 1, you get the drift.

Wifey thinks I'm insane, and won't post them for me....
(The real vlad the impala, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:13, Reply)

guilty pleasures
WORK RELATED....
Wiping my cock around the mouth piece of the phone of the manager who last pissed me off, then watching them use it.
(That person now left and I cleaned the phone as I like the replacement)

Contributing to the office tittle-tattle by increasing the scandle quotient of a juicy bit of gossip by a factor of 10 and discretely telling others. Stand back and watch the fall out

HOME.....
Writing my blog, which catalogues the hell I am put through by my Mrs. When the shit hits the fan I will have a diary of every pointless arguement and humilation she has subjected me to.

Spending money "I dont have" on music.
"Where did you get the money for that?" "Oh this, I picked that up for a couple of quid (YOU GUILABLE COW!)"
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 11:11, Reply)

Trolleys
just the feeling as you shoot down the supermarket aisles on the back of a crappy trolley..wwweeeeeeee!!!!

contstantly do it at work.

also, telling people how good our own brand products are, when all the staff know they are utter pissbiscuits.
(craney, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 10:59, Reply)

Stinking out disabled toilets in fast food places followed by
pulling the emergency cord and laughing from the corridor as some hapless fuck runs full face into the stench.

And farting in supermarkets as already mentioned.

Swinging down the last few stairs using the landing edge above.

When people are crossing the road in slow rolling traffic and are heading for the gap which will be just behind my car, slowing down so they walk into the side of it.
( Ulic hissing slightly, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 10:56, Reply)

Knuckle Cracking and Ingrown Hairs
Good god, somedays it's just heaven. I also crack my neck, from which I do derive a certain amount of pleasure as it reeeealy freaks people out. Arthritis my Arse....

I also habitually bite the skin on my left Index finger. not round the nail, but the fleshy bit. So much so that I have a repetitive tooth-shaped scar. Dunno why either...

My wife derives a frankly worrying amount of joy from squeezing spots. If she sees one on my face/back (which she appears to be able to do from about half a mile away) she'll stop at nothing to get her mitts on it. That and digging out ingrown hairs, which are fascinating. One came out the other day, it was HUGE I tells ya.

She's a beauty therapist... I think it's warped her a bit.
( B00gle-H00ps Looks like a horse, in a man costume..., Thu 7 Apr 2005, 10:54, Reply)

Double Glazing and the like
Maybe it's just me but I actually like getting cold calls from double glazing firms, phone-line providers, kitchen companies and the like.

I greatly enjoy pretending to be very, very interested in whatever it is they are trying to sell and then, just at the point they think they're going to make a sale I'll find some really crappy reason to change my mind, like telling them I live in a tower block when they're trying to sell me a conservatory.

The utter disappointment & desperation in their little voices just warms me inside.
(Let's all have an asbo, Thu 7 Apr 2005, 10:53, Reply)