A cat's toungue...
...is really rough, so i don't know whether that would cause a lady any pleasure.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Fri 14 Mar 2008, 17:32, Reply)

My guilty pleasure is watching "the dawg"
That is Der wayne from Hawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and his busty bail bonding lady on the Bravo channel.

Yes, Dog the Bounty Hunter, - (on the Bravo Channel)

Not just watching it though, my guilty pleasure is to get out the largest fattest dildo - plonk my anus on it and ride the mofo for all I am worth imagining "Der Wayne" and his working sons doin' me, and whilst wanking I pretend that my fist is the "boxom ones" titties.

And considering that Dog is on 4 times a day, I have become an absolute fecking wreck.

I have no other guilty pleasures.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 17:15, 1 reply)

Kebabs
Yes I love kebabs... I'll even eat them while sober (much to the dismay of my friends).

I know they're unhealthy but the way they smell and taste just gets me salivating.

... and now to go on a diet
(Hairy_Lee, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 17:12, 4 replies)

I've just realised my most oft indulged guilty pleasure...
I do it so much I forget I'm even doing it. I absolutely love biting bits of skin off the inside of my cheeks and chewing it. I do it until there's virtually no skin left.

Please tell me I'm not the only person to do this and that I haven't developed a unique self mutilating nervous tick.
(Errorist, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:56, 6 replies)

Weirdness Personified
I don't post that often, but this QOTW has prodded me into action. I need to confess to some of the guilty pleasures (often weird) I have.

- I talk to myself. A lot. And that's not internal dialogue, I mean talking out loud. I also 'commentate' when I play Pro Evo or Championship Manager.
- I pick and bite the skin around my fingernails, often until they bleed. It's probably more of a stress thing but I do get a sick pleasure out of it I guess.
- I travel on the train a lot, and usually have staring contests with people further down the carriage. Usually chavs, and I usually win.
- I have a nigh on dangerous obsession with TV themes. I don't really play them, I just feel safe in the knowledge I've got most TV themes on my hard disk. If I see a TV theme CD in a shop and it has one I'm missing, or if it's better sound quality than the one I have, I buy it.
- I hate the summer, because of all the wasps. If I happen to catch one in a glass if it invades my house, I drown them in the sink.
- If I get bored walking home, I count my steps. And then I try to guess how many steps it will take me to get to a certain point i.e. Number 87 on the particular road I'm on
- I love ducks, almost on the same level as TV themes. If I see a duck-themed object in a shop (usually a charity shop), I have to buy it.
- I like to eat things cold. If I buy a takeaway, I usually let it go cold and then eat it later. Especially pizza, chips and burgers.
- I can't help copying people's accents. If I call up the Chinese takeaway, I inadvertently start to copy their accent. It doesn't start straight away, it just sneaks its way into my normal accent.
- If anything is given away free, I take it. It doesn't matter if I have no use for them, I get them anyway. Hence why I have about 20 sim cards, 15 teabags, a free sample of Lenor, some free tights, a sample of kitten food among many other things
- When I get up in the morning, I have to check the bbc website before anything else. Even if I'm in a rush.
- Some substances make me have weird, lucid dreams. I like having weird dreams, so sometimes I have a lot of them before I go to bed to induce them.
- Watching quiz shows. Even if I've seen them before.
- If I ever spot a spelling/punctuation mistake (Usually in newspapers, surprisingly enough), I always correct it in pen before I leave it on the train so that the next person that reads it won't have to suffer poor linguistics. (Note: Same with graffiti on toilet walls, desks etc)
- Playing with blu-tac. If I ever find some blu-tac lying around, I can spend hours just playing with it.
- Watching Jeremy Kyle
- Having as many things on/playing as possible. If I'm playing a game, I have to have the TV on and the radio on; possibly with a book as well. I can never do one thing at a time.
- Frijj milkshakes
- Gravy. With everything. But it has to be thick, no thin gravy in this household thank you.
- Taking a day off from Uni because I wake up and can't be arsed to get dressed/walk to the train station/sit on the train for an hour
(Dazzorifik is bored of b3ta, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:49, 1 reply)

I've
developed the habit of eating my housemates spaghetti and pasta. Raw, whilst working. I don't know how it started but I can't stop. Sometimes when I'm studying hard I can can get through almost a whole pack of spaghetti in a day.

I love the way it goes sticky when you suck on it.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:38, 5 replies)

Not my guilty pleasure, but I would like it to be...
A friend of mine (who I shall call Domion B)has told me of the 'The Angry Duck', since hearing about it I have attempted it numerous times but failed so I guess my guilty pleasure would be trying to do it.

It involves being in a bath of warm water (not too hot, not too cold) with little or no bubble bath and a body full of intestinal gas. The next step is to lift yourself out of the bath slightly, letting the water settle so that the surface is still and then gently lowering yourself back down so that your anus is just touching the water (not too far above the surface and not too far below - this is where precision guidance is required).

The final step is to expel aforementioned intestinal gas as forcefully as you can, the sound of your anus on the water makes a sound which can only be described as an angry duck.

Or so I'm told.
(Bee in a cage, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:27, 5 replies)

Best in show
I like to play a little game on my cycles to work.
I have to pick the top 3 women I would theoritcally most like to boff if I were single.

Rules:
- You have to pick the first one you see to be on the list. This can quickly be replaced with better looking women along the way.
- By default you can pick 1
- If I make it all the way to work without putting my feet on the ground, I can pick 2. I am somewhat of an expert at balancing on my bike at trafic lights.
- If I then manage to get into my building without having to swipe my card - ie someone else is already going in - I get to pick 3

Keeps me entertained on those boring cycles in
( Weetobix, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:21, 3 replies)

Ooh, I forgot this one
When I'm on a crowded bus or tube, I tend to get very, very angry. The only way to calm myself down is to surreptitiously kick people in the shins.
( Queen of Cheesecake, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:11, Reply)

One Word
Subincision
(Vic Flange, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:08, 3 replies)

morrisey, the smiths and italo disco
yes indeed. i love anything from mozza and the smiths. when on my own at home I whack on a selection of tunes full blast and stand in the middle of my living room fantasising that that I'm in front of a huge sell-out crowd who are in complete adoration of me. Personal favourites ,amongst others, to belt out are:

Sheila Take a Bow
Still Ill
The More You Ignore Me the Closer I Get
Last of the Famous International Playboy

Nothing to feel guilty about you might say...but I also very much like cheesy euro Italo-disco music that reminds me of the holidays to Europe I took in the 80's. Stuff like this..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgiwEUbE0iQ

*hangs head in shame
(CaptainFellatioNelson is trying to kill me, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:05, Reply)

My current one
is dancing round my bedroom to Boom Shack A Lack by Apache Indian. Full on booty-shaking and loud embarassing singing.

I'm so cool :(
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:03, 3 replies)

Another fart story...
When I'm in a bath I like to shut my legs together very tight, let off a juicy fart and roll it up and down the backs of my thighs by altering the angle of my legs. It tickles!!!
(kabukisteve, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 16:01, 6 replies)

Oh dear god
I've just been on a break with a couple of colleagues who have informed me of someone's guilty pleasure.

Friend of a friend story to follow:
Basically I've just been told that a colleauge used to work with a woman who would put some tuna on her ladybits and get the cat to lick it off.

Surely that's a guilty pleasure?

I just had to share and it's kind of on topic
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:58, 10 replies)

racism etc
For some inexplicable reason, I derive extreme pleasure from being a racist bigot at home alone. While listening to the radio, I'll yell epithets like "wog" "paki" and "yid" and then cackle like a madman for ages at my own idiocy. Same goes for homophobia, sexism, ageism and all the other things we're not supposed to say out loud.

But in public, I don't even swear. I think it's common, and regard anyone who uses racist or discriminatory language as a moron.
(frankspencer, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:49, 4 replies)

It's an old one but it's a good one
I like to paint my hands with PVA glue, let it dry, and then slowly peel it off, whilst listening to Stephen Fry read me the Harry Potter stories. Phwoar.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:41, 10 replies)

I like ogling plump girls.
I've never been a fan of the sylph like figures of Sarah-Jessica Parker or that Irish tart on "The One Show", preferring my ladies to be more rubenesque and voluptuous.
I especially like it if they're wearing tight, revealing clothes, there's nothing quite like seeing a size 16 woman in a short skirt with a hint of cellulite-clad thigh on display.
Quite often I have to commit the picture to memory before retiring to the water closet for a long, well deserved wank, culmintating in 5 hot ropes of plasm ejaculated into a thick wad of tissue.
(Vic Flange, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:36, 10 replies)

Eating bodily fluids and stuff
There's the normal stuff like snot which i will do in public, providing no-one's actively watching me.
In private, anything goes, including but not limited to:

-Pus from squeezed spots
-Jizz (save on hankies)
-Toenails/Toe jam
-Dead skin
-Dandruff
-Pubes
-Earwax (a bit of an acquired taste, this one)

And my personal favourite:
-Scabs

In fact, shit and piss are about the only things i draw a line at.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Oh dear
I think the keyboard solo in Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now" is fucking brilliant.
(FerretTrout be illin', Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:29, 3 replies)

sick jokes
I fucking love them

while this is pretty tame, nothing makes me laugh more than sick or un-pc joke

my favourite joke of all time: what's blue and fucks grannies.

me in my lucky blue coat.

whoever came up with that is a genius. (may have been a b3tan)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:21, 4 replies)

Harmony
I love singing harmonies to things. Mostly music but sometimes just noises, like droning machines and alarms. When I am on my own.
I also like putting backing vocals to singers/bands I am watching, assuming that as I don't have a microphone no-one can hear me. Except last time he did and I was invited up to the mike to join in, which was cool. Got a free cd too!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Canonical List Pt:2
- I like to insert insults into conversations with people I've just met. I was introduced to a new sales manager the other day to whom I replied "Ah, , people tell me you're quite a jerk, I like that in a man".

- I go to a life drawing class, but instead of drawing the entire model, I prefer to concentrate on her pudenda to an unhealthy degree of detail.

- At work I like to whistle an annoying and repetitive tune and listen to the mongoloids around me start to whistle it involuntarily, one after the other. This I call "Office Dominoes".

- I like to watch "In The Night Garden" on teh Cebeebies channel whilst tripping on LSD. At least, I think I'm tripping on LSD.
(Vic Flange, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:17, 4 replies)

Cava and Refeshers
If consumed together, they make you do the most fantastic belches.
I can entertain myself for hours this way.
Sad but true.
(rubberballoons, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:09, Reply)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Bop
Catchy tune, and the chick that sings is hot.


What?
(Hampton St.Roker (has probably had your mum), Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:09, 1 reply)

Roll on
I have to confess...

I actually find the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley to be rather cool. I've listened to it willingly, and not via a rickroll.

May the universe forgive me.
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:06, 6 replies)

Innapropriate crushes
It started with Jessica Rabbit. Those long, long legs, swishing hips and mountains that Sir Edmund Hillary would have had trouble scaling.

I thought I could control it…

It got worse…

Thundercats: Cheetara – A lithe limbed temptress with a caustic personality.

Masters Of The Universe: She-Ra - She could touch my Greyskull any day of the week.

The X-Men: Rogue – The cartoon version of Rogue was hot. Deep sultry voice, great figure, plus she could fly and destroy stuff. What a woman…

I admit that most of these are 80’s characters, and I honestly thought that I was past all this.

Until last night…

Family Guy last night was the episode where Lois became a model.

I watched it with a Tepee in my trousers…

I need help.
(Nuclear Ninja like a radioactive Chuck Norris..., Fri 14 Mar 2008, 15:05, 8 replies)

hygiene
I've been using the same chopping board all week without washing it. It's had raw chicken and bacon on it, as well as numerous unwashed veg. I never get ill. The cooking process kills all the bacteria.
(frankspencer, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 14:55, 9 replies)