Juliette
... Off of the Three Muskerhounds

Woof
(Fridgy, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:16, 3 replies)

I have no explanation for this and can’t understand it myself.

In my hormonally addled youth I took a second look at Martina Navratilova.

There’s not much more to say really. If we had met and she wanted to give blokes a pop, and decided start with a tall gangly teenager with a bad haircut, who knows what would have happened. I’m not sure the relationship would have lasted very long though.

The Lovely Mrs Ring of Fire (Hello) had a huge crush on Nick Kershaw, and managed to speak with him briefly on a Swapshop phone in. Told she was only allowed to ask one question she plumped for “Do you have any allergies?” (Answer: “What…errrr. No. Next caller please)

The reasoning behind the question was that she knew they were destined to be together, and she didn’t want to ruin the first date by accidently putting him into anaphylactic shock. Very sensible.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:15, Reply)

I know its a cartoon....
But did anyone else find Princess from Battle of the Planets hot?
(Dirtyleeds, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:13, 2 replies)

Angela Merkel.


Come on, admit it. You'd like a go at them too.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:11, 4 replies)

The duras Sisters
Either Lursa or B'etor.
or both
at the same time.

Although I have a feeling that they would chew me up and spit me out, but what a way to go.
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:10, 3 replies)

Not remotely iffy.
Fiona Bruce. Over and over until we had no fluids left to sweat with.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:10, 1 reply)

phowar!
Bonnie Langford did it for me - that smile she has is permanent, so no how a bad shag you are, she would always be pleased with it!!
(Dirtyleeds, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Liza Tarbuck
Massive norks and a really filthy laugh.

Would like to roll about with her.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:09, 3 replies)

Polymorphous nascent sexuality
Just about the first crush I can ever remember having (on something anyone else would know, i.e. not on the girl next door) was on S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A. from Telebugs. I was 7 when it came on the telly and had grown up in a pretty sheltered household, so there was nothing specific about my yearnings, but I do remember thinking "I like her. She's got a cute face."
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Not really one particular woman
But I have a bit of a thing for girls that wear glasses, or as I like to call them 'man goo protectors'
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:42, 1 reply)

Mother/Daughter combo
Janet Ellis and Sophie Ellis-Bextor ... You wouldn't say no
(uttertosser, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:37, 4 replies)

That one with the stumpy arm from cbeebies
Is it me or does it look like a bellend poking out the end of her sleeve? Maybe her doin the wife with her stump whilst im doing her?
( Moogen, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:36, 7 replies)

Not me but ...
My first boyfriend confessed to having an unhealthy interest Captain Black.

For younger readers, Captain Black was a puppet from the original Captain Scarlet series in the 1960s.

Trouble was, I quite liked him myself.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Gail Platt
From Coronation Street, when I was younger.

Makes me shudder, now at the thought of the turtle faced trollop. Probably why my first girlfriend was a minging ginger lass who lived at the end of my road when I was 4. I liked to play with her cat. Seriously. Not even trying to set up an obvious joke.
(Colonel Buff Getting ripped to the tits since, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:35, 1 reply)

Minty from Eastenders
I saw the actor (Cliff Parisi) in Tottenham Court Road a few months ago.

I am usually the last person to be starstruck and will tend to pointedly ignore celebrities but in his case I was staring and practically tripping over my tongue.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:31, Reply)

eric the cavalier
from the old dungeons and dragons cartoon. there was just something about him that gave me the tinglies.
on a related note, i was watching happy gilmore recently and wondered why adam sandler suddenly seemed more attractive. then it hit me: with short hair, he's a dead ringer for eric!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:17, 9 replies)

Katy Brand
As long as I could go on top. I think it'd be a real giggle.

I'd also like to have sex with Rob Manuel. Not for any sexual reasons, but because if I'm making brutal man-love to him, he won't be able to post these shitty QOTW suggestions which you can't get a decent story out of.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:11, Reply)

For some reason
I have a bit of a soft spot for emo chicks (strictly over eighteen).

This bothers me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:01, 4 replies)

Myra Hindley
Single to Hull please.
(MistahG, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 17:00, 3 replies)

SUPERNANNY!!!
I think it must be a domination thing.
(gdcoey, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:59, 3 replies)

Sarah-Jane Honeywell
I would like to Higgledy House her Tikkabilla
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:59, 8 replies)

Oh dear...
Included in my lengthy list of weird crushes past and present are Chris Barrie, Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder (but only in the third series), Peter O'Toole, Julian Barratt, and Kryten in Red Dwarf. I'm over most of these, but watching 'Lawrence of Arabia' still gives me the horn.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:56, 1 reply)

Lion-O

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:56, 1 reply)

First Love.
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but there was a girl at my school who had something wrong with her spine. She had to use a wheelchair most of the time, but there was just something about her. I couldn't ever speak of it, because school kids being evil school kids I would never have lived it down. She didn't get too much stick from people herself, apart from by the real cunts, but to admit to fancying her would have been social suicide. It kind of crept up on me one summer when her pain wasn't too bad and she was walking with some tatty metal walking stick things that she didn't use very often. But to see her walking, the sun shining on her hair, the smile on her face, even if the supports were dented and rusty and held together with gaffer tape, something about it touched me and made me look at her in a different way. I don't think I ever did get over those iffy crutches.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:51, 2 replies)

Ann Coulter
Yes shes as mad as a box of rabid rats, and her every view and utterance is like nails down a blackboard but......
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Lorraine Kelly
you just know she's a dirty
(Andy-Bhoy I'm here all week, try the veal., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:49, 2 replies)

Baroness Thatcher
Hear me out.

Not nowadays obviously, but back in her prime as the dynamic, groundbreaking, most important woman in the world heyday.

Imagine if you will the thrill of an illicit liaison in the corridors of power...

You in your sharp pin-stripe whistle, the PM in a racing green tartan suit with shoulderpads and the finest pearls on her pale neck, her blouse open just enough for you to get an idea of the lazy curve that leads to her puffy, ginger-girl breasts.

She beckons you into her private office and once the oak door slides shut behind you she grabs you by the tie and pulls you over to her desk.

Over the next few minutes she strips you to you Churchs and sockgarters, ordering you to spread yourself across the green leather of her desktop. Her voice is commanding but unlike her usual powerful oratory there is a hint of derision. She intends to fuck you like everyone else.

Looking back over your shoulder you see the baroness in all her glory, a metallic strapon clamped over her M&S unmentionables, startled, you turn to face her both appalled and aroused as you realise the true origin of her nickname 'The Iron Lady'.
( WormuIus, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:48, 9 replies)

Alice Beer
The "Watchdog" edition, please.

I think she was also voted a "Borderline Boiler" by Viz.

("Your head says 'No', but your nuts say 'Go!'")
( MeatB3ta ... I was just cleaning it when it went off ..., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:45, 2 replies)

Though it requires some time travel transport....
A threesome with Felicity Kendal from early 1970's and Goldie Hawn from late 60's, please.
( zacherynuk @echo off, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 16:42, 6 replies)