i think not
i got told i looked like Myleene from that first Popstars band, Hearsay, by some random woman in the queue for the cashpoint.

naturally, i kicked her in the snatch and went to a different one, tutting in disgust whilst hoping fervently i didn't look like a vapid, fickle bint with no hope of ever achieving more than a tenuous sham of a musical career. in vain, obviously.
( greenish, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 22:49, Reply)

Disturbing comparisons
I was once informed by a young lady that I was the spitting image of the lead singer of Travis (I have no idea of his name as I’m not a fan). What concerned me most was that she asked for my telephone number, whilst I was providing her with advice and treatment for her trichomonis vaginalis infection (a fairly unpleasant STD) in the genito-urinary medicine clinic. This struck me as inappropriate, for a start I have a full head of hair and he clearly has a receding hairline.

Also one of my close friends has regularly been mistaken for Juan Sebastian Veron, the last instance involving him having provided an autograph to a 12-year-old boy, despite knowing full well that he looks nothing like him; still at least he made the poor kid happy.

Cock jokes are for cocks (Umm, the irony is that I now sound like a cock)
(gimpflex, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 22:36, Reply)

I love messing with peoples' heads...
One of our local "celebrities" is this guy: www.pagewilson.com/ I saw him perform at a local bar with his band, and during one song I walked in from the outside through a door behind the band to get another beer- and got a very dirty look from Mr. Wilson. During the break he hunted me down and asked if I had paid the cover to get in. When I assured him that I had, and that I had only used that door because the other one was blocked by drunken rednecks, he laughed and clapped me on the shoulder hard enough to spill some of my beer and kept walking.

He's actually a pretty decent guy and a fairly talented musician- but he does have a rather large ego and a somewhat overinflated sense of himself sometimes. Add to this that when he starts drinking his voice reaches stentorian levels a la Teh Blessed, and he sometimes tends to stand out.

And so it was one evening when I was out with the woman I was dating at the time and a friend of mine. We had gone to a restaurant which features a sunken patio on the street side and another patio behind the building, and as we were going in I heard a huge booming voice laughing and telling stories at a frightening volume coming from the front patio. Even sitting out back I could hear him above the rest of the patrons.

Before we left, my companions went to the bathroom so I was waiting at the end of the bar for them to emerge when Page himself walked up to pay his bill. It wasn't until that moment that I recognized him, but instantly I had an idea.

"PAGE!" I cried out, and pumped his hand. "How the hell have you been, man? It's been forever since we hung out! Where the hell have you been, anyway?"

"Oh, I been busy, ya know how it is," he replied with a smile, although I could see a puzzled frown behind his eyes.

"Well shit, man, we gotta get together again! I still owe you that beer- I'd hang out now, but I gotta take my girlfriend to a show. Damn, don't be such a stranger, all right? Gimme a call sometime!"

"Sure, man! I'll call ya this week!"

At that point my companions had emerged from the bathrooms, so we all went outside. My friend turned to me and asked, "What the hell was all that about?"

I chuckled. "That poor bastard is gonna be scratching his head for the rest of the night trying to figure out who the hell I am..."
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 22:29, Reply)

I once pinched my girlfriend's sister's arse...
...whilst the GF was stood right next to her. I thought she was the GF, I swear.

This is way back when I still had a girlfriend, of course. Or girlfriends in general :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 22:24, Reply)

The Special Boyfriend
After the ceremony, I randomly placed myself into line outside the church next to a drop-dead beauty, normally unreachable to trolls such as myself, but one who also apparently arrived single.

The bride's mother stopped the wedding party as they passed, took my hand, then turned to the beauty and said "so, THIS is the ONE we've heard so much about!" Before shell-shocked princess could respond, I started telling jokes, making everyone laugh, and wouldn't you know, it was a great reception afterwards (despite princess' sulking and scowls).
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 21:45, Reply)

Jack Osbourne
Reading Festival 2004.
I being of more than average weight, having frizzy hair and glasses had a slight resembelence to Jack Osbourne.
It was cool when I was bought a beer by a few randomers. Not cool when a fat chavette was salivating over me which led to me running away from her, playing a game of cat and mouse throughout the shops in the middle of the arena.
I cut my hair.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 21:33, Reply)

Oh, and
My grandad plays sick mind games with people when he's in the car; when we're driving down any road and he gets bored, he beeps at random passers by and as far as i am aware, gets some kind of sick pleasure from peoples startled expressions as they half-wave like a spastic to my grandad, who they have never met before...and never will again.




fuckin' spooky, eh kid?
(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 21:29, Reply)

some cunt
told me i was french once (No, i won't use a capital 'F'). I beat seventeen kinds of shit, three gallons of stomach fluids and two pints of blood out of him, and made him piss himself like a little fucking girl.

I then proceeded to marinate him in garlic, stuff a baguette up his arse and tie him up outside the french embassy.


honestly, what kind of arsehole thinks a guy who speaks in a Mancunian accent is french?

The NERVE of some people.
(Snailfighter Mk VIII MASTER of the bits underneath the ledges on fences, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 21:17, Reply)

John who??
Back in the mists of time, or as I call it the 80s, my eldest brother was the absolute dead ringer for the pretty fit (not in an incestuous way, and for the time) John Taylor of Duran Duran. He used to dress like him too, and drove a sports car. He frequently got mobbed and had his dirty deceitful wicked way with many a teenage girl. Good boy. Oh, and he also knocked out Ian Astbury of the Cult once, but that's another story.
(mookroolz, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 21:17, Reply)

I am an elven guitarist!
During New Year's Eve 2000, I went to see some good friends of mine, who lived at the time in Montpellier (South of France).

Then, another very good mate of mine joined us too and off we went to a big club.
The night passed and wen we left, my mate told people to let Carlos Santana Junior pass!
At the time, I had a small moustache and shoulder-length hair which made me look like Woodstock-era Carlos! :-D

Some people were puzzled and weren't sure if I WAS CSJr or not...

Then in 2003, I worked in a school in England as a Langage Assistant.
It was a short time after the release of the third episode of Lord of the Rings.
Since I am tall, slender and with a slender face, my students used to say I looked like Orlando Bloom.
(MAD Life -The Best Antidote To Happiness, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 20:36, Reply)

A mad old lady!!!
When a close friend of my dad went a little bit, you know mad well not insane but he was sent into a hospital to help people like him, not a mental house!!

Well against my will dad manages to drag me along, we get there and a mad old mistakes me for being her long lost husband(he left her when she had to go to the mental hospital, can't blame him) mind you I was only 11years old.
A member of staff literally had to pull her of me as she was trying to kiss me; she must of been at least 56years; then when he was taken of me we where escorted to a privet room for friends to talk with each other. 5min later dads friend arrives from his room two floors up.

They talked and talked about how much he hated taking his pills everyday. If you ask me I wouldn't be to worried about how many pills I would be taking if it would keep me away from insanity. then when we had to leave, we walked out of the room and from nowhere two arms grab me and pull me to the side and there she is again the old mad lady.
"Don't leave me again please, promise you will come back!"she said half-shouting now and in desperation I reply
"Fucking shit, just fuck off"and the whole corridor goes quiet and I could of swore I herd a man with a baby's voice say,
"I think Magret has gone to far now, the boy is angry now."quietly to his room partner.
Magret as her name apparently was calmed down and said
"I want a divorce"
(DeTimmy you'd better be sorry!!, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 20:35, Reply)

me ??? yers kidding ?? !!
I have had a few people say i look like the following-none of which i can see:

Jim Carrey

Andrew Eldritch

Drummer from Hole

Also once got mistaken for a girl twice-once waiting for a night bus by a guy who stood behind me and spotting my long hair tried chatting me up,other time was more recent when some kid asked me if i was a woman which was odd as i have sideburns that would make Noddy Holder green with envy.


Length ?- no use for it now so the questions irrelevant
(shug, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 20:27, Reply)

Odd Cafe Coincidence
I go to a little cafe in downtown Hamilton for coffee all the time, at least once a week and usually more. My boyfriend usually arrives first, and I generally join him afterwards, due to the nature of our respective schedules. One evening a few months ago, though, I arrived first, and was sitting alone waiting for him. There was a guy on the opposite side of the cafe who kept looking over at me, but I tried to ignore it and continued to read my paper. Eventually, he came over, and asked, "Are you Meaghan?" I'm not Meaghan, and I told him so. He was really embarrased: had probably arranged to meet an Internet date at the cafe and only had a pic to go by. He said, "Sorry, but you really look like her!" and blimy, he was right! When she arrived, she had the same hair, was approximately the same size and height, and even had similar glasses. In fact, when my boyfriend walked by the window, he wondered who I was sitting with, and started to walk over to their table when he came in. Overall, quite a surreal experience.
(BlackArmadillo Avoided writing that article on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 20:16, Reply)

I'm not gay
But I thought I'd post my favourite case of mistaken gaydentity.

When I lived in Jamaica (yawn he always talks about Jamaica after a few blah, blah, blah...), I found out that almost the entire village thought I was gay. Now, anyone who knows about jamaica knows that is a dangerous thing indeed.
How did this come to pass (especially as I'd spent the entire first month there with my girlfriend)?
Well, there were two pieces of evidence presented to me.
1) I had spoken to a gay man and said to him "See you later". turns out that one night, whilst standing outside the local go go club the only gay in the village (literally) came over to speak to me. Apprantely we chatted for a few moments before he went off. On parting, I'd said "See you later" as this is a common thing to say where I come from in London. It purely means that maybe, at some point in the future our paths might cross again.
In Jamaica this was secret code for 'lets meet up later and have lots of bum sex'.
Nobody seem to appreciate my explanation that I'd been inside the go go club for hours and had stepped outside to wait for my mate who'd gone back to the house in search of weed. Nobody cared that the whole conversation I had with the man was:
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm fine, just getting some air. It's a hot night to be surrounded by such beautiful girls."
"ok, cool. Well, you have a good night."
"Cheers, see you later."
Anyway, turns out that the local gay man only thought I might be gay by the other piece of evidence.
2) I play a few musical insturments, so on my departure to that fair Isle I chose one of my favourites. A big black saxaphone.
Anyway, when I first arrived I kept it hidden away for a bit as I was paranoid that it might get stolen. After I'd been there about a month, my mate and me decided to have a jam. He played the Djembe, so it looked like it could work out really nicely.
Before we got to that point, I was showing him the sax. It was lying in its case still and when 'Dragon' (a local ganster type) came in the room, we shut the case quickly and leant on it so he couldn't see it.
Dragon knew something was up, but we just carried on as usual.
Turns out he thought we were having bumsex when he came in. Despite both being fully dressed and standing in his mums kitchen, who was in the other room.
It was two months before we found out what he was telling everyone.
When I found out lots of things clicked into place. The mad guy who kept telling me he knew I wasn't a battyboy, the kids who followed me home one night calling me batty.

Anyway, I don't really give a toss if someone thinks I'm gay. This was crazy though and it's only after I found out that I realised how close I'd been to getting stabbed on more than one occasion. Only my wide eye'd innocence kept me out of trouble.

I still wonder about that gay guy sometimes. He must have a really shit life.
(EvilMeister, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:59, Reply)

Toe-tapping oops
Once, before we were married, my wife and I were on a flight from Zurich to Bombay. I had the window seat, and she was next to the aisle. I fell asleep, and when I woke up a while later, my wife was gone. Where was she? Looking around the darkened cabin...oh, there she is, in the aisle seat on the other side of the aisle, one row forward. She must have moved up there to get more room. I reached out with my leg, and tapped her on the shoulder with my big toe. Just at that moment, I looked up and saw my wife coming down the aisle, returning from the lavatory. The old Indian woman whom I had just woken by poking her with my toe was not pleased.
(chase, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:27, Reply)

I am not a racist but...........
Last Saturday at a sporting event I recognised a couple of lads my Son used to play with. They are, for want of a better description, British with very healthy tans, lovely white teeth and, of course, great cultural diversity.

At the earliest opportunity I strode over to their Father and re-introduced myself. "Lovely to see you again. Great to see the boys" blah blah blah. My wife had on her that wild-eyed, haunted look I have come to know and love but I pressed on regardless. It was only as we walked away with me doing my Tim Nice-But-Dim "Bloody nice chap!" routine that she told me.

"He's a total stranger. You have never met him before in your life. The boy's Father is actually over there *points* "

Cocks!

Now, I'm not a racist but.....
(gobbo, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:24, Reply)

At a Dead Kennedys gig..
Of all places.
The doorman/bouncer/thug didn't even ask to see my ticket, just ushered me in with 'have a nice evening sir'
I was served instantly at the bar. Then it started. All fucking night. 'Ere, thats that bloke of the telly. You are that bloke off the telly arn'tcha'
After about 20 minutes of this ( even when I went for a piss ), someone gave me a beer!. 'Love the show mate', he slurred in a drunken way, 'Have a beer!'.
Not one to pass up free beer. Between bands, this kept happening. It started making me feel rather paranoid. What really annoyed me was during 'Moon Over Marin', some twunt asked me for my autograph. Not a good idea to do that, not during my fave DK track. I yelled 'Who the flying fuck do you think I am anyway?'. 'Ozzy', came the crestfallen reply. All I could say was 'Sorry kiddo, I'm just a lookalike'
I have since shaved my head. Still, I got served at the bar quickly, got a free beer and a spliff or two, so I'm not really complaining.
( moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:23, Reply)

I like hanging around Socialist Workers Party headquarters

but how many times do I have to tell them my name's not Conrad?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:21, Reply)

This happens to me on a depressingly regular basis
I'm frequently accused of looking like Chris Barrie. In fact, the last time was a bit... trying. Mr Horrible's brother, who frequents these hallowed pages, within 3 seconds of meeting me at the last Sheffield bash, screams "Rimmer!". I was not pleased.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 19:18, Reply)

not very interesting...
but seems like every time I travel abroad other tourists mistake me for someone local...and ask me for directions and recommendations for the best bars, clubs and shops
(this week i am mostly - medicated, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:34, Reply)

Once...
Someone (who i can only assume had really bad eyesight) mistook me for Jeremy Edwards (from Holby City and Hollyoaks)... in retrospect, i'm lucky they didn't glass me as that guys a total twut.

It's also odd, as my mates gave me the nickname Wicket due to my resemblance to the famous Ewok, who i have to agree is far closer to my appearance.
( daveydje is hedging his hogs on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:33, Reply)

oh and another one...
A girl in a Switzerland club came up to me, slapped me and said "so you don't want to know me any more...?"
I was gobsmaked (litterally)-
found out years later that an aquaintance had got his wicked way with her a few hours earlier and "lent me his jacket because i looked cold"

What a bastard -
(John Elton, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:33, Reply)

Five years ago, Chisinau, capital of Moldova
it was a football trip and Night 1 involved serious drinking ... Day 2 involved a major hangover and schlepping around town before the game ... I was wearing a dark jacket, a dark baseball hat and sunglasses ... and at one point I browsed an al fresco exhibition of truly awful paintings done by Moldova's only licensed hippy ... seeing my interest (or that I didn't immediately run away) he came over to talk to me and started to get quite excited ... "hoo hltn zzhnn," he said ... "sorry min, dinna spik either Russian or Romanian, sorry," I said, Scottishly ... he started to point and jabber saying repeatedly, "hnnng, hoo hltn zzhne!!!" ... the hangover fug cleared after several repetitions and finally I got it ... in heavily accented English, he was saying "you're Elton John". Oh dear god. The game was a glorious 0-0 draw and as soon as I got home I resolved to lose weight ...
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:28, Reply)

In Ibiza once...
Paverotti.
(kitescreech still here, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:00, Reply)

I am a mong..
with a condition called prosopagnosia. Which means I can't recognise anyone. Which means my whole life is a case of mistaken identity
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 18:00, Reply)

Forgot the drug dealer!
Reading some of these has reminded me, I've been mistaken for a seller of herbs more times than I can remember.
Once I was asked if I had any weed whilst walking down Marblebone road on the way home from work. Why would they think a guy in a suit & carrying a briefcase would be selling weed?
Another time I'd been shopping near Leister Square in London and had walked up to Piccadily circus. Whilst waiting to cross the road, a national express coach stopped in front of me. A woman in their uniform opened the door and asked me "Can we get some of that?" and pointed at my rollup. They thought it was weed.
so I'm in the middle of piccadily circus, surrounded by tourists and the driver of a national express coach is trying to score off of me. That was a surreal day.
(EvilMeister, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 17:57, Reply)

Another one that wasn't me...
When I was in my first year of college there was a girl named Clair who bore a considerable resemblance to Jennifer Connelly- long dark hair, blue eyes, slender, big boobs, and gorgeous.

Coming back from Christmas break, I found her on the telephone in the lounge (this was before cell phones) loudly saying, in a very aggrieved voice, "But it's not me!" over and over. I asked one of the guys who was nearby grinning from ear to ear what was going on, and he told me to get the January issue of Playboy and look on page 93 (may not be the right page, as this was 1982 and I'm going on memory).

I found a copy at the local convenience store and turned to the page in question. There was a picture of a naked man with a bag on his head and one over his member lying back with a naked girl on either side of him- and sure enough, the one on the left looked exactly like Clair.

When I got back to the dorm, Clair was in tears as her boyfriend had just broken up with her over this picture. To add to the coincidence, she had come back two days late from break and had made some extra money while home, and could get no one to believe her.

Too bad she was way out of my league...

(Length? Dunno, he had a paper bag over it.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 1 Jun 2007, 17:55, Reply)

twin
going back a few years when i first grew my beard a started getting misstaken for someone else who lived in barnsley.anyway one night i was in the old no7 and this bloke walked in it was like looking in a mirror.we ended up becoming mates and fucking everybodys minds up by claming to be twins even though thay had know one of us for years.now hes gone bald and i havent so ive lost my twin
(hello mr wolf, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 17:47, Reply)

Nine Inch Nails
At college in NY, someone told me I looked like Trent Reznor.
this was quite some time ago and I don't see any resemblance myself.
(The Cosmic Fool Became aware that the bird is indeed the word on, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 17:40, Reply)

In the last week alone...
Hitler, on account of turning up late to work in a black shirt and having a really bad hair day.

Philip Schofield, on account of turning up the next day having deliberately showered and gelled said hair thus revealing my premature greying (im 22).

A prisoner from Stalin's gulags, on account of turning up on today having got fed up of the previous week's piss taking and shaving it all off.

Think I might throw a sicky next Monday.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 1 Jun 2007, 17:26, Reply)