stalker
last year a friend of mine went up to stoke for the weekend to see some friends (he's a londoner, like me). while out in a club one night, he got talking to a local girl for about half hour, before having a little kiss, exchanging numbers with her, and going on his way.

the next morning he woke up to find over 50 text messages from said lady on his phone, as well as a lot of missed calls and one particularly eerie voicemail which he played out to us in the pub. forget how it went exactly, but there's a point where she actually says ''i'm sick of being the one making all of the decisions in our relationship'' . yeah, really.

good thing he didn't go home with her or she'd probably he cut off his cock and thrown it out of the window. crazy women. everywhere...
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:35, 3 replies)

Mate of mine
phoned his mum late at night asking "Have you got any escorts available" whilst drunkenly phoning round a number of mobile phone numbers belonging to various executive stress relief establishments in the locale.

He was until then married with two kids who were upstairs sleeping whilst wife was away on business at the time the call was placed.

He ain't now.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:33, 13 replies)

The Great Escape...
Few years ago – The German Club-Adelaide,Australia – 2007

Great place for beer, great German food, lederhosen and leg slapping but enough of the advert on with the story.

I was standing at the bar surrounded by old men all talking German (it was like something out the boys from Brazil) when all of a sudden my phone rings….and my chosen ring tune at the time…why an mp3 of the great escape theme tune. I tried to ignore it but it got louder and louder the back ground noise got quieter and quieter until you could have heard a “Stielhandgranate” drop!

I felt really awkward, they must of thought I was taking the piss but that was not the case just an unfortunate timing situation.

I did what any one else would have done in this difficult situation and answered in the style of the British Airmen from ‘Allo Allo…. OH Hello (no motorcycles available but it would of helped to hasten my exit)


BTW I am not anti German in any way as my wife is indeed half German and as a nation they make great cars and beer…but remember they started…they invaded Poland
(Podboy, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:31, 3 replies)

Contraband
I am close to someone who is a radiographer and this story came from him first hand.

When he was training in a main hospital a couple of years ago a prisioner was brought in with a couple burly prision guards from the local prision.The guards were being a bit less that profesional by smirking and sniggering . The prisioner looked a bit sheepish and uncomfortable.

An x-ray and some surgery for removal was required .

I believe they call this "kiestering" in the prision system.
(welgar, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:26, 2 replies)

Bindun?
I just bog my brand mew phone today. It's really quite amazing.

I'm currently sitting in the bus with this guy watching every word i type.

the fuckin black cun
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:10, Reply)

My heroine
A friend of mine was dumped by text. The girl who did it is secretly my hero. This was the text:

THINK OF A NUMBER

DOUBLE IT

ADD 5

ADD THE NUMBER OF LETTERS IN THE PLACE YOU WERE BORN

THINK OF A COLOUR

...

...

...

SCROLL DOWN

...

...

READY?

...

...

I can't be with you any more. It's just not working out.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 10:02, 4 replies)

noticed a few stories
of people loosing their phones, and so loosing all their numbers too.

If your on 02 -try using 'blue book'. It uploads and syncs with your phone book, meaning when you get a new phone, you just download them again from bluebook - for FREE.

Cheers
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:51, 16 replies)

STD fun
So last year it emerges that my delightful ex has probably given me Chlamydia (thanks Beth!) and I should go get myself checked. So off I toddled to the doctors to pick up a test yourself pack, had a wee into the cup (harder than it looks, pissed all over myself) filled in the form attached (name, address and contact number) and ticked the box that meant I would be notified by text.

A couple of days later in the pub, I was exchanging numbers with a delightful filly, and I after reeling off my mobile number to her, she tried to miss call me so I would have her number too. Except when she rang 'me', my phone wasn't ringing. So I checked the number I gave her against the number I had saved as mine, and lo and behold I had got two of the digits the wrong way round (twas a reasonably new phone). Then I had an unfortunate realisation. This tithead had written the wrong number down on the Chlamydia test. Twat.

So if anyone out there got a text out the blue telling them they had Chlamydia...apologies
(xerophytic has no idea, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:19, 2 replies)

mobile phone, mobile phone, mobile phone...
I used to like changing my name in me mates phone to that of his girlfriend's and sending him texts along the lines of:

"Jim, I'm pregnant..."

or

"Slept with Mark last night..."

I'd usually be there for the reaction and his appauling attempt at looking unphased... Not my disaster but one to him I'm sure...
( advocoates Emotional Northern Boy, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:10, 4 replies)

Cats
I used to be on T-Mobile, and their hold music was always that Royksopp song. Can't remember the name of it but it's the one that samples Blue on Blue by Bobby Vinton. Anyway, for a time I didn't have a direct debit on my account which meant phoning them up every time I wanted to pay my phone bill, and this invariably led to many a minute spent listening to this song.

One morning, whilst particularly bored and on hold for a particularly long time, I decided to sing along to the hold music.

"Dooo dooo doooooo, dooo do-do-doooo do......blue on bluuuuueeee, heartache on heartache...."

Still nothing for another 3 minutes, so I decide to sing it in cat.

"Miaow miaow miaow, miaow miaow miaow-miaow miaow..."

I was having such a good time miaowing along to Royksopp I'd not noticed that a rather bemused young lady had picked up and heard about 5 or 6 seconds of a man miaowing a tune at her.

I secretly hoped me and her would fall in love and it would be a cute story for the grandkids. Instead, I paid my £41.57 and hung up, feeling rather silly.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:06, 5 replies)

Undercover?
Not really a mobile disaster, but it made me laugh.
A group of us were in some of the dullest training session, given by a man who was apparently the professor of dull at dull university. Just as we were dozing off, the door crashed open and 2 plain-clothes coppers burst in, ask the bloke 'are you Professor Dull?' 'er... yes' 'right then, you're nicked!' and drag him out of the room.

One of the coppers then returns to explain that training is 'probably over for the day'. Just then his under-cover mobile rings, and his ringtone is the theme from The Professionals at the loudest volume I have ever heard. Possibly a bit of a giveaway? I think so.
(Toooldforallthis, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:05, 1 reply)

I once rang directory enquiries using my mobile
Operator: Name?
Me: stopmeandslapme.
Operator: Address?
Me: my adddress ........... no err hang on.

Too late, I rang my own house.

Managed to get it right at the second attempt.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 9:04, 1 reply)

Who needs mediums anymore? they have mobiles up "there" you know....
A while ago my friend had Yoda as a text tone saying "mmmmmm message from the Dark Side you have!" so being a Star Wars geek, naturally I got him to bluetooth it to me! Because it sounded cool, clearly not for it's ability to impress the laydeez (unless they're 5'1, fat, green and have 6 tits, but that's enough talk about Sharon Matthews & her clan)

My auntie Pat died (collective "awwwww" anyone?) and a few days after the funeral, Yoda chirps up from my pocket - I almost shat myself when I read the following:

"Auntie Pat - Just to let you all know, this is my new number! Hope you're all ok"

I'm not superstitious by any means, but this was a first when it comes to communicating with the dead.... I was going to ask whether her service provider was hal-o2, but simply sent a "Hi, I'm fine, who are you?" reply back to the text from my deceased auntie.... turns out her family had gone round to clear up the house, and my cousin had found her mobile and decided to nab it - he'd left his name off the message!

apologies for length, I was only aiming for 160 characters!
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 7:15, Reply)

And another one
Someone sent us a package one day - they mentioned there was some slight water damage to their phone, and therefore the LCD was cutting in and out.

They sent it in and when I opened it it was dripping with piss.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 5:52, 2 replies)

Ooooh, boy, I got some good ones!
I work for a company that repairs and does RAM upgrades on PDA's/converged devices.

Best one was 2 years ago - when someone sends in a phone for repair, we send them instructions saying what we need (i.e., phone, battery, battery cover. Don't need a SIM card, stylus or memory card). It also specifies that "any packaging you send it with will be discarded" - i.e. the box it comes into our facility in.

Got a phone call one day from a very, very irate lady.

Lady: "I just got a package from you, and it's not what I sent you"
Me: "Ma'am, does that mean we sent you the wrong phone back?" (wondering how the hell that can have happened, we have a rigorous check in/check out procedure)
Lady: "Yes, I sent you it in this packaging"
Me: "Ok, I understand, but is your phone not in the package we sent you?"
Lady: "Well, I haven't opened it"
Me: "Ma'am, maybe you should open the box....ok, see the foam packaging, take the foam off...ok, now.... "_"
Lady: "I DID NOT SEND YOU THIS FUCKING PACKAGE. WHERE'S MY FUCKING PHONE YOU BITCH?"
Me: "Ma'am, please don't be rude to me. Is there a silver electro-static bag underneath the top layer of foam?"
Lady: "YES, BUT I DIDN'T SEND YOU THIS"
Me: "Ok, now, open up the bag....is that what you sent us, and does it have a nice new LCD screen?"
Lady: "YOU FUCKING BITCH, HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU FUCKING SEND ME SOMETHING BACK SOMETHING I DIDN'T SEND YOU?"
Me: "Please, do not be hostile with me, is that your phone?"
Lady: "Oh fuck, yes, why didn't you call me and tell me you were sending it back in a different package?"

And she hangs up. Meanwhile, I'd put it on speaker and the entire office was cracking up.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 5:48, 2 replies)

My 1st post and two phone disasters for the price of one, you lucky BOGOF bastards!
Twas my birthday a couple of months ago, so I went out with a mate, got well and truly twatted....and lost my phone. I was well pissed off at the time, but it was only a cheap nokia, PAYG, so I hadn't lost much. Besides, I was thinking of getting a new phone. One with a camera! T'interweb! MP3 player! Shininess! All the things my lost phone lacked.

Off I pop to the shops and decide to get a £20 a month deal, on an 18 month contract. 'Would you like insurance in case it gets lost or stolen?' asks Mr Salesman. 'Nah,' I reply, thinking I won't be so daft as to lose another phone.

A week later, armed with my shiny new toy, I'm out on the piss again with a different friend who's come to visit. We get rather mullered and get the night bus home, which, this being Sarf Lahndan, is full of the usual pissheads and generally dodgy looking characters. In between rambling drunkenly to my friend, I'm amusing myself by playing with my new phone.

The bus stops at a bus stop (they do that, you may have noticed), but instead of continuing on our merry way, the driver stops the engine and announces 'This bus is going no further until the passenger who hasn't paid his fare gets off the bus. I've called the police'. A few minutes pass, people start to get annoyed wanting to get home as by now it's about 2.30am, even offering to pay the (as yet unidentified) man's fare.

'It's the man in the baseball cap,' the driver helpfully informs us. Look, there he is, sitting a few seats behind my friend and I, pretending to be asleep. A few fellow passengers tut and suggest he might like to pay his fare so we can all go home. He's not happy with this, and goes to the driver's cab, trying to force the yob-proof door open, shouting at the driver to get off the bus so 'we can see what a big man you are'.

I detest people who threaten others like that. Beer-fuelled bravado kicks in. 'WHY DON'T YOU JUST PAY YOUR FUCKING FARE YOU FUCKING CUNT??!!' I shout. Oh dear. He comes over to us, shouting how he's gonna kick the crap out of me, blah, blah, blah..... Being too drunk to realise the value of shutting the fuck up in such times of imminent danger, I return his insults. Oh dear again. My friend by this time is standing up trying to calm him down, but he pushes her out of the way. Realising this leaves me, sitting in the window seat, a bit vulnerable, I hurl myself at nasty bloke. But I'm very drunk. So I miss. I end up sprawled on the bus floor, dropping my nice new phone as I fall.

After kicking me in the face and stamping on my head, he grabs my phone and jumps off the bus, at which point the driver hastily shuts the doors. Showing a capacity for logical thought which has so far eluded me I think, 'hmmm. That man's got my new but uninsured phone 1 week into an 18 month contract. That's not good.'

'OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS, HE'S GOT MY PHONE!!!' I shout at the driver which he does, bless him. I jump off the bus and there just down the road is my assailant.

'OI!! COME BACK WITH MY PHONE YOU CUNT!!' I shout after him. Which he does. Oh dear again. He punches me in the face so I throw myself at him, the impetus carrying us both into the window of a takeaway, which smashes. Other passengers jump off the bus to help restrain him, by which time the Plod turn up, nick him and return my phone to me. Phew.

Despite the bus being full of Afro-carribean passengers, and one police officer being of a similar ethnic origin, my assailant insists he's been arrested 'because I'm black isn't it?' My friend's reaction to this won't be repeated, but it wasn't very ladylike, put it that way.

After having statements taken by the slowest one-finger typist in the entire Met Police, we're allowed to leave the police station at 6.30am. Knackered.

I got a black eye out of it. He got 2 charges of common assault, one of theft and one of breach of the peace. There were no empty cells in any of the nearest police stations, resulting in him being taken to one about 5 miles away, so I'm guessing he got a long walk home too. Well, how else would he get home with no bus fare? :D

I still haven't got phone insurance. I'm not daft enough to let that happen again. Am I?

Too long?
( spesh., Fri 31 Jul 2009, 4:37, 1 reply)

Don't know about his life but, I reckon it wrecked his night
A long time a ago in a city far far away when mobile phones where only owned by those who could afford a couple of grand for a hand set and bags of cash for phone calls I passed a bloke in the city yelling into the electronic brick he pressed against his ear.

"SELL, SELL, SELL, I am making a killing, I CAN PAY CASH FOR THAT HOUSE ON THE HARBOR"

He was attracting attention and from those passing by, some of them I might add very attractive women who seemed impressed with this newly self created billionaire. I notice a bloke mutter "wanker" also.

"SELL, BUY, SELL" he bellowed into the phone, a very very cute blonde gave him a smile and then,

the phone he had pressed to his ear....................................


rang.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 3:34, 6 replies)

How does one pay and go?
Summer of 97 if I remember correctly. I'd avoided buying a mobile simply because I didn't want to enter into a contract for something I'd hardly use.

Through the door, popped a magazine, the back page of which was adorned with a full page advertisement for One2One's new "up 2 you" service launching soon, a pre-paid mobile phone for about 100 squids.

The (concept) picture was of a small mobile phone of the day, but instead of a screen, there was a slot to insert coins.

I thought this was a superb idea with just one small flaw so was straight on the phone to them to ask.....

"Where the money went after I inserted it and how they got it out again"
(lochii, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 2:43, 3 replies)

pictures
So i used to have a missus and we would often exchange pictures. Until the day that i sent her around 4 through the space of an hour. she never recieved them. I never even thought to ask, forgot about it all until i met up wit a friend a few weeks later, we went to his place, and his mum casually dropped into conversation that she really enjoyed my messages. I had no idea, until she whipped out her phone and displayed pictures of me "standing to attention" my poor mate nearly died..i was proud.
(danglesmurf, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 2:16, 1 reply)

Well, one day after changing into my chef's whites I left my phone in my trouser pocket up in the locker room.
Some jolly prankster got hold of it and closely inspected two photos of me in (rather authentic) drag, then showed them to all my colleagues! What a wheeze, what a wheeze!

The fact I resigned the very next day and found a job two cities away was purely coincidental, you understand. As was the complete wipe of the phone's memory that occurred about 2 hours after this momentous discovery.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Fri 31 Jul 2009, 2:06, 1 reply)

And story 2
Sharing a cab in to a pub to catch up with some friends (same pub as below actually) with a mate (same mate as below too actually) the cab driver pulls up at the lights and indicates left.
"Where are you going?" We ask, "the pub's right."
"No no no, you can't turn right to get there, you have to turn left here, go up that road there, right at the top and then right again."
"Bullshit, just turn left here go up about three blocks, turn right and bingo, there it is."
"No no no, I assure you, you can't get there that way. There's no left turn from this street. It's a blocked road."
"What? Devonshire street is blocked from Elizabeth street? Since when? It wasn't blocked when I drove down it this morning on the way to the airport."
(Background here. It was Sydney, both myself and the other passenger had just returned from an interstate day trip and were discussing how good the weather was. The driver had clearly assumed we were from out of town and was out to jack the fare up with a nice tour of the city).
The driver slumps. Local knowledge was clearly something he hadn't been counting on.
"Umm. Isn't it blocked? I could have sworn it was... Um. Blocked. Oh that's right, it's not blocked after all, yes! Not blocked!"
"No it fucking well isn't as you always knew. How fucking stupid do you think we are? Turn right here, go through two sets of lights, turn left again, go up two blocks and stop, it's that simple. You obviously thought we don't know where we're going, well we do. And what's your licence number? We're reporting this..." etc etc etc insert all sorts of sarcastic "ooh look you can turn right!" and so forth for the rest of the trip.
We pull up ("Oooh! Look, it's right here where we said it would be!!") hand over the exact money, to the five cents, slam the door, farewell the driver with a hearty "Fuck off you thieving prick!" as he drives away into the darkness and step into the pub filled with smug righteousness prepared to regale everyone with how we outsmarted the larcenous cabbie.
"Fuck," says my mate, "I've left my phone in the cab."
( difficultchild, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:54, 3 replies)

Right, I've read a few others and everyone seems to be ignoring the "wrecked" bit
So here we go.
Story one.
I'm sitting in a pub, enjoying a few quiet beers when my mobile rings. It's a mate saying he and a few others are all having a great old time in a pub just down the road, come on down.
So i rush off to the loo, then head down to the second pub.
I get there and realise I've forgotten my phone, so I go back to the first place (it's literally 300m away) and look around. No phone.
The barman and I look all over the place but no luck so I shrug and head back down to console myself with drink.
Halfway there I run into a mate also heading to the same pub and I explain what has happened.
"Why don;t you phone it?" he suggests, handing me his phone.
I call... and the shopping bag of the old lady who was hobbling past us on a walking frame starts to ring.
Or to be be accurate it starts to roar like a wookie, which is my ringtone.
I suddenly remember seeing her in the first pub while I was there... watching as the barman and I searched high and low, quietly finishing her small beer.
So I turn and look at her.
She stops, looks at me.
I hold out my hand.
She slumps, reaches into her bag and hands over my phone, then hobbles off again.
God bless her thieving old heart.
( difficultchild, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:35, 1 reply)

Recycled Numbers?
A friend of mines gets emergency services texts to his mobile quite often.

We were in a pub a month or two back and I'd been doubting his stories of 4AM texts intended for Ambulance drivers. Next text to come through was one of these specials ones.

It read something like: "17 GROVE ROAD.HEART-ATTACK.ELDERLY MALE. DIABETIC."

He gets these texts all the time and they range from drunken brawls to decapitations.

He's spoken to the shop staff where he got the phone and they claim that mobile numbers are recycled after X amount of months/years.
He's also spoken to phone company and they gave him £5 worth of credit. I don't think they understood the situation at all.

Maybe the phones haven't wrecked HIS life... but someone out there isn't getting important msgs when they should be.
(tylrdiablos, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:29, 4 replies)

Does it have to be wrecked?
I've been sitting on two amusing mobile phone stories for AGES.
Damn.
( difficultchild, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:28, Reply)

An old school mate of mine
joined the navy after school. last time i spoke to him he'd just bought a brand new, top of the range, expensive phone. he'd gone out drinking with his sailor mates and come back to his ship rather drunk and decided to show off his new phone but, in his less than coherent state, dropped the phone, which skated across the deck and off the side of the ship. he said he had no idea where it'd gone until he heard the faint splosh of it disappearing into the mediterranean!
(MrPokey, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 1:23, Reply)

Some chap
Seems to have the number of my works phone. He keeps texting it - I assume it's on a group list or something. So I keep texting him back with increasingly more bizarre things. I've only ever had one response, and haven't heard anything for a couple of weeks now.

Him (I assume it's a him): "Can everyone dial in to the conference call at 1645 at the usual place"
Me: "Will do captain!"

Him: "We've got to beat Essex this month - targets are "
Me: "I'll set those as my own personal targets! I'll flog myself if I don't meet them"

Him: "Please submit your QFD reports by close of play today"
Me: "I love you"

Him: "We need 25 more appointments by the end of the day"
Me: "I can do that in my sleep"
[later that day]
Him: "Well done team, we exceeded our targets!"
Me: "You're my hero!"
Him: "You're mine too"

Him: "We really need to push on the sales today - Essex are catching us up this month"
Me: "I'm pregnant. I think it's yours"

Not heard anything since.
( shadyron, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 0:27, 1 reply)

Used
I have an iPhone 3GS 32Gb. I am not rich, but if I were a billionaire, I would have exactly the same phone. It is absolutely gorgeous.

True, my work blackberry is better for emailing. But the iPhone is stunningly good.

God, I feel like a used cumrag now.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 23:54, 6 replies)

Wrong number
I am by nature a prankster. However, I am a very careful one. So much so that I don’t really do any pranks. A prank-theorist if you will. However if a prank comes my way I will try to seize it. This always goes wrong though..

Anyway, I got a call a few months ago on my mobile. A Range Rover dealership in Sheffield. They thought that I was taking delivery of a new Range Rover. My normal polite instincts kicked in. I said that they have the wrong number, but I would love a new Range Rover Ha Ha Ha. They apologised, and I think nothing of it. A few days later, they asked me if I liked my new Range Rover and would I do a customer satisfaction survey over the phone. Ha Ha Ha, I splutter, no, you have still got the wrong number – I am not the person you sold a Range Rover too. They apologised. End of story.

Except the same thing happens a few days later. I told them they have the wrong number somewhat forcefully. They seemed to have got the message. A few days later they called again. They apparently hadn’t got the message. I tell them again. A month later, I got a call saying that as my Range Rover has been recalled, they will deliver a temporary one to me whilst mine is fixed, and that they are terribly sorry that they couldn’t get one to me for the same day, but they didn’t have any manuals, only automatics, and they like to offer like for like.

At this point I was incensed. Temporarily insane with rage. I told them to deliver the temporary car to my workplace. I hang up. Stupid idiots. Then I realise that I have effectively stolen a car. FUCKFUCKFUCK. I called back, but couldn’t get the person I spoke to. I left a message. Fuck.

Then the reception for the building I work in delivers a message over the intercom. “Will Mr. XXXX (dude they sold a car too) please come to reception.”

I shat myself. I glanced out of the window and there was a brand new spanking white Ranger Rover Vogue parked in a visitors spot.

My mobile rang. I freeze. My anus puckered so much that it picked up my chair with it. I stood up and my chair came with me.

“Who the fuck are you and where’s my car?” said the dude who had the broken Range Rover and was expecting a temporary vehicle. I put on a terrible, terrible Liverpudlian accent “What are you talking about, I don’t know nothing about nothing...etc”

“Why are you trying to steal my car?”

I toyed with the idea of telling the truth.

In a slidingly shit Birmingham accent now... “I don’t know what you are talking about, like...”

He hung up in disgust.

I glanced out of the window. The Range Rover is gone. Presumably reception have told the delivery dude that they now have checked the visitors/staff list and no one of that name is in the building.

I never answer my phone from people I don’t know. Ever.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 23:43, 2 replies)

Kind of weird
Whenever I buy somthing on my phone like a game the internet is really slow and once the game is on my phone it kept aaying, "This is a free trial version of the game." and all that stuff. Now my phone bill is $450 or so...
(ami2weird4u I have 10 penises., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 23:35, Reply)

mine
got whipped out of my handbag by some sly thieving bugger on the tube. it had everybody's number on it, most of which i had bothered to write down or back up. yeah, right, because i am that well organised.

so it was a real disaster; took me ages to get most of the numbers back, and i had to shell out a fortune for a new phone because i was also too lame to have the little twat insured.

about 8 weeks later, i had just about got most things back to normal, when i dropped an earring down the back of the sofa. i'll give you 3 guesses what else i found under there. although you'll probably only need the one. what a fucktard.

i wouldn't mind (as much), but i also lost my work blackberry the other week, which the pikey firm made me fork over fifty quid to replace. you can use one of the remaining two guesses to work out what the valet found under the seat when i had my car cleaned at the weekend. i think i need a handbag that things can't fall out of, ever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 23:23, 8 replies)