Don't look at the hard drive
My mate Jon is a copper and met his boyhood hero when he had to arrest Gary Glitter after the now-infamous PC World incident.

He doesn't want to be in Gary's gang any more.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Sat 27 May 2006, 17:31, Reply)

bodger and badger
i don't think they count as heros but i've never been able to watch bodger and badger on the telly since they came to our student union last freshers week. badger was snorting mashed potato and said the worst thing about being in wales was that it was "fucking cold and wet".

i did get a signed picture though.
(33% longer is struggling to think of a witty comment for here, Sat 27 May 2006, 17:19, Reply)

more my dim brother...
Came home from work once to my dosser brother announcing 'Guess what? Dad met his idol today'


Me a little surprised mainly 'cause I didn't know he had one asks who that might be.

'Louis Armstrong' says he.

Obviously I'm a little surprised by this - dad didn't even own one of his records.

'Louis Armstrong?' says I.

'Yeah. You know, first man on the moon!'
(Neuromancer, Sat 27 May 2006, 17:12, Reply)

Glen Michael
Not exactly a hero, in fact its questionable if he's even a celebrity, however when I were a lad I saw Glen Michael of Glen Michaels cartoon cavelcade "fame" (saterday afternoon kid tv show, he had a talking lamp called pallidin)who was hanging around Blairdrummond safari park trying to get noticed by the kiddies. My mother must have felt sorry for him and made me go ask for his autograph to which he said "Oh I thought you'd never ask"

Well gypo twunt, for the record if it had been left up to me I never would have, you poor mans Rolf Harris
(bugger-luggs, Sat 27 May 2006, 16:19, Reply)

Worzel Fucking Gummidge
When I was seven I went to see the Worzel Gummidge stage production at the Nottingham Playhouse. Having thoroughly loved it, I plucked up enough courage to wait by the stage door so I could get Worzel's autograph.

Jon Pertwee came storming out like some grumpy scarecrow cunt, barged past us kids whilst muttering "move away, don't crowd round" and went straight to his car, leaving wailing and disappointed children in his wake.

Thankfully Una Stubbs came out a couple of minutes later. What a lovely woman - not only did she sign my programme and told me that I must have very cold hands having waited outside for so long, but when she leaned forward to talk to me I copped an eyeful of a fabulous pair of unfettered norks.

So I'd like to proffer a big fat 'fuck you' to Pertwee who had been my Dr Who hero until then. Yes I know he's dead and won't listen, but its cathartic to get this out in the open after so many years.

I'd also like to proffer a big fat 'woo' to Stubbs, who helped get me into wanking at a very early age.
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Sat 27 May 2006, 16:13, Reply)

Bah!
Alright, so I didn't MEET him but I think this deserves a mention.

Ernest Cline. If you haven't heard of him, he's a geek "spoken word artist"/poet/comedian person. Very funny, and I emailed him the following in dedication:

i4.tinypic.com/10sg0pl.jpg

Possibly NSFW? It's got my barely identifiable nipple (the whole of which I cropped out in an attempt to make it more SFW), and yes, it's my right breast with a space invader on it.

I emailed it to him with a brief, but complimentary "I really like your stuff. Here's a pic of what I did for you."

Did I get a reply? Did I fuck. So, yeah, someone I respected and enjoyed as an entertainer has disappointed me.

Rant rant rant...
( Bats, Sat 27 May 2006, 16:02, Reply)

I met a superhero once
Captain Slackbladder, his name was.
He pissed all over my shoes.
I was not impressed.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 27 May 2006, 15:38, Reply)

My eldest daughter, her then boyf and I went to see Suede
some years ago.
We sat high up, and opposite we saw Brett Anderson and a couple of other blokes watching the support playing.

Daughter and boyf were quite starstruck, and lots of people 'downstairs' noticed too and began pointing up at Anderson et al.

After a while they began pointing at us too, and digging each other in the ribs excitedly.

We aren't famous. However, Daughter at the time strongly resembled Delores O'Riordan - cropped hair, stick-thin, floaty frock - and we think she was being mistaken for her.

Daughter spoke in a cod Irish accent for the rest of the evening and was watched respectfully, though not mobbed, on her way out.

So if you were there at the Viccy Hall in Hanley, and you saw Delores - ha ha, it wasn't her!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 27 May 2006, 15:29, Reply)

Snorting Yellow Pages Bloke
My mate told me yesterday about when he was in the bogs at some London bar and could hear someone sniffing away in one of the cubicles. Moments later out walks James Nesbitt. He goes to the sinks, where my mate was washing his hands. He looks over, possibly hoping for some kind of reponse. My mate, cynical bastard, pretends not to know who he is and simply nods an alright. Nesbitt proceeds to turn on the tap and sprays his groin with water. He laughs and turns round to my mate and says:

'Can you believe that I, James Nesbitt, has just made it look like I've pissed myself?!'

My mate looks at him, smiles and says:

'Yeah, nice one mate.'

Then walks out.
(kevon45uk, Sat 27 May 2006, 14:49, Reply)

Slightly off topic, but...
Way back, when I was at Uni, people from our halls used to hang out at the nearest pub. Co-incidentally, but entirely unrelated, this pub was apparently the local hangout of Terrorvision.

Anyway, through the window, of the pub one day we saw none other than children's TV presenter and animal worrier* Terry Nutkins. The girly scream of "Oh my god it's Terry Nutkins" from one of the lads was earpiercing. Several of the gang didn't know what to do with themselves, and were jumping up and down in their seats, and after a short indecisive panic, rushed out into the car park to meet him. There are girls who have met Robbie Williams who don't get as excited as these guys!

* Okay, a little bit of poetic license has been used.

Apologies for being off topic and lack of discernable humour.
(Guinness2702 Meh! Do I look like I care?, Sat 27 May 2006, 14:28, Reply)

Snookered
When I was travelling up to Blackburn with a mate a few years ago on a busy M6, there was a large Mercedes coupe cutting up other cars and swerving between lanes. It was obvious about to go for the gap in front of us next. My mate having a 15 year old Cavalier with a dashboard that used to fall apart at speed wasn't too arsed about his car and put his foot down to close the gap, stopping the cnut-driven Merc. We glance over and see that in the passenger seat Jimmy White is grinning at us in a sort of "you pair of cnuts" way. He was banned from driving at that time and was on his way to a snooker tournament in Blackburn.

Another story that happened to a co-worker this week. He stopped at a service station on the M6 and popped into the shop to get a drink. The woman looks at him and says : "You look like that bloke off the telly."
My friend smiles back at her.
"Oh my God! You ARE that bloke off the telly!"
My friend smiles, winks, gets his change and walks off.
My friend isn't off the telly and doesn't look like anyone on the telly that anyone in the office could think of. Still, at least he made the day of the woman at the till.
(hagis_uk, Sat 27 May 2006, 14:10, Reply)

Stalked by the Camberwell Carrot Man
In London a few years ago, I walked out of a shop straight into Ralph Brown (bloke from Withnail & I or "Pilot No.1" in The Phantom Menace to the young scallywags), I apologised for bumping into him and not knowing what to say, said "your Ralph Brown aren't you" the reply was "yes I am" then having asked such a stupid question and not knowing what else to say, I walked off. A few hours later I was in HMV, and a someone walked into me, it was Ralph Brown. I kind of laugh/nodded at him in a kind of "me again" way and he just looked scared and walked away.
These days I live in Brighton and often see him in my local, obviously he wouldn't remember the weird bell-end from that day and I never attempt conversation as its just too painful a memory (plus ignoring famous people is funnier as they expect to be spoken to).

PS: Despite being years old, shouting "Rickeeeee" when Sid Owen is around is still hilariously funny as I proved a few weeks ago in a pretentious wankers bar in Farringdon. He gets upset.
(Anarchy Duck, Sat 27 May 2006, 13:40, Reply)

I met that Richard chap from Corrie a while back
and let me just say this:

For a supposed serial killer, he's got the limpest handshake I have ever experienced.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 27 May 2006, 13:12, Reply)

Stalked by Sam from Eastenders
Saw her chatting on her phone outside of a tube station once. I recognised her as familiar, but couldn't place her, since I'm not a huge Eastenders fan, and must have given her a funny look or something because she looked back at me like I was scum. It was only when I got down to the platform I realised who she was.
Anyway, I changed lines at Victoria, and shock, horror, she came onto the same platform as me, and ended up standing a couple of meters away from me. I noticed, but didn't stare or anything.
Then she only gets on the same train as me, same carriage, and for the whole of the journey I could see her checking to see if I was looking at her! (I used the window reflections to watch her, much better than her strategy of being blonde and silly and just STARING STRAIGHT AT ME like a crazy bint.)
This went on for the rest of my half hour journey, and I got out at my stop - she turned her face to the window to avoid eye contact.

I guess when you get to the dizzy heights of fame of Eastenders, slumming it on the Tube is just asking to be pawed and ogled by poor, malnourished nobodies like myself :(

In conclusion, I was slighted by a minor celebrity (at least in my mind), in a manner which has nothing to do with the QOTW, but I have told the tale anyway, in case anyone here ever sees aforementioned minor celebrity and would like to show her what real ogling is.
(wago, Sat 27 May 2006, 12:47, Reply)

My housemate
went to some T4 thing on the beach in Brighton a couple of years ago, and kept bumping into Vernon Kay or whatever his name is for the next few days. Apparently on the last night she managed to kiss him.

My dad met one of his favourite singers of the day - Nana Mouskouri, for the record - at one of her concerts. He went very shy by all accounts and still has the signed record. Bless.

My auntie is a councillor (Labour) and has met our glorious leader. She hates him because he is not a communist.

My mum has met Alan Titchmarsh, who as a middle-aged woman who likes plants, is definitely one of her heroes. She asked him something about one of her shrubs and he signed something or other. As far as I know the shrubbery recovered from whatever she was worried about, so he clearly knows his stuff. She's also seen Richard Hillman, the Coronation Street serial killer, at a service station on the M25 and was disappointed at his lack of crowbars.

I've met my local news anchorman - Dominic Heale - he's actually very sweet and I have a signed photo somewhere.

And one day just before last Christmas I saw Z-list celebrity Paul Hendy (formerly of Disney Club and other random kids' stuff) wandering Canterbury High Street. I should have said something, he looked like he wanted someone to recognise him, as he hasn't been on TV for about ten years now.

EDIT: Don't know how I forgot this, but I have actually met the Otis the Aardvark CBBC thing. I was picked out of the audience at some totally random play my parents took me to when I was about 11 - from what I remember I was told to say I liked watching Sooty (which was true) and then suddenly the creature appeared from inside a crate thing. The sad thing is that I thought it was quite good at the time, and was impressed that it was there. (My dad later said he could see the guy working the puppet through the 'crate'.) From what I remember he had a really irritating voice and liked to dress up as a nun.
( Maladicta, Sat 27 May 2006, 12:36, Reply)

Hulk Hogan
Well,i never actually spoke to him nor in fact even meet him but i dedicated a drunk fuelled Savage Garden song to him on the kareoke.

Then sat down and fell off my chair.

Hogan would of been proud.
(ELBOW2HEAD, Sat 27 May 2006, 12:23, Reply)

Sir David Attenborough
Not a case of "Never meet your hero" but more a case of "I that wish I had met my hero" My sister had that pleasure at a book signing,at a branch of W.H. Smiths. she had bought one of his many books there as a birthday present for me. When she told him it was for "My brother's birthday, he is a great admirer of yours" He replied "Oh really, what is his name please?" and promptly wrote 'To ( my name)with best wishes from David Attenborough,' in the fly-leaf. He took one look at my little niece who was dressed in a blue "shell suit " type thing and said to her very gently "Hello little girl in blue and how are you?". My sister then asked if he could take a photogaph of my niece stood by him while he signed my book "Go ahead madam,it would be my pleasure!" came the reply. What a lovely man! Happy 80th birthday Sir David, long may you prosper!
(Mackeson_drinker, Sat 27 May 2006, 12:12, Reply)

James Nesbitt
Ran into him a few years ago in the Porterhouse in Covent Garden on St Pat's night. He was shitfaced and trying (with some success) to get people to buy him drinks and goggling at every single woman in sight.

Got a random photo with him too and he was clearly freaked out by me and my mate....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Sat 27 May 2006, 11:51, Reply)

Mark owen
Met him with my uni housemates in a bar a few years back.

Ended up back at his gaff drinking and chatting. All he wanted to do was shag my friend, so instead he shagged her sister. I spent all night hunting around his crib looking for dope. Not a bit of drugs, though i did find some kind of opium den.

Anyway, he is a veggy so i could only find vweggie food in his fridge. Guys a midget.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Sat 27 May 2006, 11:36, Reply)

I took my kids, aged about 8 and 10, to see a play
at the local theatre.

The biggest name on the bill was David Cardy, who was on TV in 'Birds Of A Feather' at the time.

I took t'kids up to the bar afterwards for a cola to see the cast, who I knew would be lounging around there luvvily waiting for compliments.

Youngest spotted Cardy and decided to go and speak to him.

She walked over, waited respectfully until he'd finished speaking, and then said 'Excuse me Mr Cardy, I am sorry to interrupt you but I'd like to tell you how much I enjoyed the play tonight, and especially your performance as the Clown.'

He listened, smiled, and replied boomingly 'Oh, thank you SO much! How VERY kind! It's been our pleasure! And you can call me David!'

She swooned and reeled away grinning. What a lovely man.
Mr Cardy, you are a gentleman!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 27 May 2006, 11:19, Reply)

Shane Warne
On a golf course, beleive it or not. Seemed quite sleazy at a distance, but when we got closer he didnt flirt with any of the women around OR use his mobile once.
I wanted sleazy and only got nice. Dissapointing.
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Sat 27 May 2006, 11:13, Reply)

To be fair to Terry Pratchett
It's not exactly difficult to get his signature, seeing as how he seems to spend most of his time on book signing tours. I went to one once, and the bloke in front of me (who was German, not that it really matters) had a bag containing hardback copies of every single Terry Pratchett book published up to that point (about 20), and wanted them all signed. While he was doing that, we chatted about some nonsense - the strangeness of conspiracy theories, I think.

I met Michael Palin at another book signing, and apologised for being too poor to actually buy his book. He signed the piece of paper I proffered "Piss off. Yours sincerely, Michael Palin." I just about died from laughing. I think he was quite glad when I left.
(wingnutkj, Sat 27 May 2006, 11:09, Reply)

Hawking
Stephen Hawking - mind size of a planet, complete twunt tho, wouldnt sign my book.
(The_artist_formally_known_as_alz0r, Sat 27 May 2006, 10:06, Reply)

a very good band called Futurecorpses...
Met them a few times at their gigs. They're a bunch of complete twunts* (especially their guitarist** who's too much of a whimp to carry his own amp and keeps trying to get me to carry it)***

*Might actually be very nice
**Might actually be my flatmate
***Entire post might actually be a shameless plug

Oh, and I've met James Lavelle, The Cooper Temple Clause and Pete Doherty who didn't seem as weird as he turned out to be.
(Squash, Sat 27 May 2006, 10:03, Reply)

Certianly
not my hero, but I once met Mr Motivator at Chessington world of adventures when I was a nipper. He was a cunt.
( HelloIamAdam and Adam is my name, Sat 27 May 2006, 9:23, Reply)

Jim Morrison
I never met my hero,cos he's dead. but I went to France,and lurked around his grave with loads of hippies and tourists. it was actually very lovely,lots of insense laying about and people had thrown bits of paper with writing on,and flowers and jewellery on the grave. Thats the closest im gonna get to meeting him and im dead chuffed.
(Miharu, Sat 27 May 2006, 8:38, Reply)

Billy Bragg
on the big antiwar march -you know, the one that acheived absolutely nothing. It was wierd, he was just walking along beside me and I didn't notice him for ten seconds. He's really short. anyway, he was actually quite nice and personable, especially since I was all 'Omygod, Billy Bragg', but then he switched off me when a bunch of FBU reps with a DV cam turned up to talk to him about the strikes. Who does he think he is, some kind of Left-wing activist?
( same as yours, but on fire will explosively decompress on, Sat 27 May 2006, 5:44, Reply)

I've never met Aldous Huxley.
:(
( d d, Sat 27 May 2006, 5:14, Reply)

I've met Kenneth Branagh
Well, technically I haven't met him as such. But I have had a painful cyst on my anus, which is probably the same basic experience.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 27 May 2006, 2:41, Reply)

Grouch
The Terry Pratchett thing - I have only seen him in person once, but he was totally grumpy then. Git. I ignored him.
(wago, Fri 26 May 2006, 23:33, Reply)