Whoops!
Working for a small IT consultancy - boss decides to take us all out for Christmas lunch. Popped over to the local Greek place, to much wine.etc and the 'quick lunch' ended up lasting 5 hours.

Then my boss remembered he needed a replacement server installed that night for one of his biggest clients. Cue two of us - p*ssed as farts trying to install Windows 2000, configure it and getting a cab to the clients office - at 8pm.

Worked suprisingly well though...
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 12:01, Reply)

Ho bloody Ho
I am Santa - I get to freeze my bollox off all night - and what for ? - a crappy mince pie made by a 4 year old and a cheap glass of cooking sherry. I bloody hate christmas and everything it stands for. I mean who the buggery cares if some little kid doesn't get his bike - I assing don't.
( dogfish, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:46, Reply)

I'm going to wait...
...till (insert ludicrously non-Christmas date here) to post my reply.

It'd be too expensive at the moment, too many other people are doing it.
( jmptdc Mark the perfect man and behold the upright, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:40, Reply)

I lost my job.
Last day - xmas eve.
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:39, Reply)

B*stard Bosses
Had to work in a pub in New Zealand on Christmas eve. We got no overtime, even though we worked until about 4 in the morning, no bonus and no break all night. Nice one.
(Smartie, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:39, Reply)

I think we were the bad ones
For our xmas party this year we arranged for drinks with our lecturers in the students union in uni.
The night ended with the sober lecturer driving home at 1:30am (he was meant to be in at 11), and the other 2 lecturers being thrown out by security for being too pissed
(Chutney_Pie, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:35, Reply)

Directors with lose wallets
The old company i worked for (before a buyout) were great!
Year before last we had a staff/client party, with stupid amounts of booze but the clients couldnt drink because of driving... shame.

We had a client area with a buffet, sax player and bar. The staff area included loads of pizza, booze and a massive scale-electic track. Most of the clients join in with us, hurrah!

All the staff also cleared out the leftover booze, of which there was still loads :)

first post, yay me!
(Fishbone-didi, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:29, Reply)

My old company was so bloody tight....
...that they postponed out xmas party until may... The reason being that everyone wants a party at xmas, so they're very expensive...

Tight bastidos!
( Beastie is doing science with his arse, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:20, Reply)

Fat f*cking Nazi sales manager
As a young reporter in a small local office, I was the lone member of editorial team whose other members were located elsewhere in the country.
This meant that I had to sit amongst the nattering sales staff who were ruled by the iron fist of B*g V*l.
B*g V*l was one of those horrendous control freaks who would pounce on to her bloated feet and wobble at high speed out her office at the first sign of anyone actually enjoying their work, and command them to resume their bitter resentment of the position.
She had this idea that she was my boss too, but she had no authority over me whatsoever. I took great pride in this, and deliberately devoted a great deal of time to flaunting my immunity in her doughy face.
Her Christmas treat for the sales staff was to allow the radio to be turned on between 4 and 5pm, and each worker was given half a plastic cup of warm "Lambrusco Lite" (which is only slightly above Buckfast in the jakey drink stakes)as they worked.
The beast emerged from its lair as fast as its swollen trotters would carry the bulky frame, and in some foul gesture geared towards making an uneasy peace with me, held out a second half cup of the stagnant yak pish in its paw. I politely accepted and lobbed the stuff out the window.
The tight-arsed knotted-purse-stringed dragon hadn't noticed that I was openly sinking a six-pack at my desk while happily working away.
(Barry Subchimp, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 11:05, Reply)

Christmas Party
One year we all went to the cheapest pub our bosses could find. I worked for the student loans company. Don't now, so can say anything I like. The Turkey was photographed onto the plate and the spuds were from a tin.

Wasn't all bad. I got to honeydewmelon the waitress afterwards.
(declan_m, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 10:58, Reply)

swearing
watermelon shit cranberry

clever but very watermeloning annoying
(dukefukem, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 10:51, Reply)

Vouchers
Our company can't be arsed to all travel into town (Leicester) from around the county so we're getting £15 Marks and Spencers vouchers instead, thanks...I've already swapped them for real money.
( Hainesey, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 10:01, Reply)

Best Christmas Bonus Ever?
My mate works in the Houses of Parliament as office manager for a Cabinet Minister (who shall remain nameless), and his claim to fame is that he got mentioned in Private Eye because of his Christmas bonus - a packet of fags. That was it. Nice, huh?
( Young Master Ploppy, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 10:00, Reply)

Phucktards
Two xmas's ago I got a nice christmas suprise from my moustacheod, Basil Fawlty-esque, sports car owning cnut of a boss.

My P45

I'm not bitter though, everyone else has walked out since and his company's phucked now. Ha!
(cherry B, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 9:22, Reply)

merry christmas
I work for PeopleSoft who have just been bought by Oracle, so this year I'm getting my p45 for Christmas

cranberrys
(he who walks, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 9:11, Reply)

Spoilin' us
Four of us, being "treated" to pizza hut.

It's gonna be wild.
(bunny_333, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 9:06, Reply)

It's like working for the 4th Reich...
...where I am. They've officially banned Christmas parties and won't let any funds go towards them. We normally have to ask our prime contractor nicely to take us out for lunch. Of course I just left that project and my new project has had their bash, meaning I get Christmas lunch on my own in the office today with some manky sandwiches. Ho phucking ho.
(DrGonzo, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 8:44, Reply)

Last Year
I were but a naive Placement Student.

The unofficial xmas do (the team pub crawl) started in the town centre of scenic Swindon and continued uphill into Old Town. Being new to the fresh and vibrant town I followed my guides without questining our heading.

3am: Old Town. Having drunk the town dry for 10hours, we've now emerge from a club and I have no idea where I am. Everyone wanders off in their respective directions and I wander off with my mentor (or boss as he liked to call himself). We stagger up to another nightclub and he explains:
"This is Mission [or Studio now], this is a good place to get a taxi. Har har, this one's mine."
And he promptly disappears.

So I'm in the middle of a town I'm completely unfamiliar with, and the last taxi's just pulled off.

Barsteward.
( TechImp is trying to be nice (with great difficulty)., Fri 17 Dec 2004, 8:40, Reply)

I once worked christmas as a dish pig in a pub in the burbs (Australia)
complete with fake spray on snow. 35 degree heat in the kitchen and a conferece room full of fat drunken sweating buisness men sexually harrasing the wait staff. Up till 1am washing dishes. And then the boss gives me a cheap bottle of plonk to take home, as if that makes it all better.
(rattus, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 8:36, Reply)

contracted self-employed
no money
not been paid by contractor for 7 weeks
been promised cheque next week - won't clear, (if it doesn't bounce), till after christmas
no xmas shopping done
no xmas visit to the pub christmas eve

have a merry phucking christmas :(
( JJ, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 7:37, Reply)

This year...
...is my first Christmas off in 6 years and I don’t get paid any extra for working public holidays (although to be fair this is factored into the overall wage).
However, I don’t work in an office, am totally unsupervised and have no bosses looking over my shoulder! I cringe when I read some of these Xmas stories – they sound just like comedy show “The Office”.
Good grief…

Merry Xmas all.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 6:42, Reply)

"All the wine you can drink"
One christmas the boss I was working for at the time decided, as a festive bonus, that we could all finish early and that anyone who wanted could go to the office and help themselves to the wine he'd brought round. Sounds Ok right?
Well, the job we were doing was paid piecework, so by finishing early we all lost out. And the boss clearly didn't want to spend a lot of money on the wine, and it seems he didn't want to risk breaking any of his good glasses either.

There we were, 3pm Christmas eve, stood in the office, drinking the boss's home made wine out of half-pint glasses and coffee mugs. And it cost us all at least £10 each in lost pay. Ho ho ho.
( More tea vicar?, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 2:47, Reply)

Multicultural
surely if the uni is multicultural then you should be allowed to put the x-mas tree up. Political correctness has gone mad.
( Bamboo Steamer, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 0:11, Reply)

We've been banned
from having a (small and rather insignificant - it's normally hidden in a corner, and only about 15" tall) Christmas tree in our library.

Something to do with Leeds Uni being multicultural.

or something.

They never let us know the real reason.

Humbug.
(jesusbagpuss, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 0:04, Reply)

since last year...
..when we have been taken over by a major european company we have had 2 parties.

1st was a free bar/hot xmas meal. everyone from the company was invited (5 dates, pick which one) and apparently the wasted booze from the 1st xmas came to thousands, double figures!

this year it was a free meal and £1 a drink, each £1 went to a designated charity and the bar bill was paid by the company.

so double JD's and coke all night!

Amusingly some employees didnt attend as they thought it was some sort of tax scam by the company for 'entertaining'.

Cant complain about £1 a drink (£2 for doubles) and free xmas dinner!
(HomerJH, Fri 17 Dec 2004, 0:01, Reply)

High Flying Electronic Aviation Suppliers...
In the early 90's, I worked for a "family owned" company that got itself some pretty big deals in aviation. The company was Lorded over by a right odd married couple, who would get everyone outside in a line on the last day and appear in a horse and carriage, with the poor MD dressed as Santa. They would then in a Dicken's style give each employee a frozen chicken and a bottle of pish. The ritual was ceased when, due to the 200 or so employees travelling straight to local drinking houses after the annual ceremony, they'd get pished and "forget" the frozen chickens when leaving for home. Several local pubs had to be fumigated every January when the chickens began to rot underneath the (usually heated) pub bench seating.
(b3tan generation, Thu 16 Dec 2004, 23:59, Reply)

Spleen venting time...
…twas nearly Christmas early 1990's and the boss told us all to finish up about 2 hours early for the work Christmas “party”. But whilst my colleagues consumed their modest ration of mince pies and Victoria Bitter, my boss sent me out to do the banking. Fair enough I thought – it needs doing and should only take 20 minutes or so. As I got out of my car at the bank I saw this bloke hitting a woman in the car park, so me and a Vietnamese guy from the next car decided to join in the melee (hitting the guy, not the woman). We both figured it was a domestic violence thing but it turns out he was robbing the payroll and petty cash she was carrying. We then both got rammed (albeit at low speed) by the thief's mate’s car resulting in the thief getting away – but with the petty cash bag only – and leaving me with a badly swollen knee and a bag containing the payroll for a fairly large local company. I rang my boss and explained I would be a couple of hours as the local police needed to interview me and the Vietnamese guy. On my return to work all the friggin’ mince pies and VB had gone and my boss approaches me and says “Don’t worry about the couple of hours off, you can make it up another time” – I naturally assumed he was joking but next pay packet he had docked me two hours pay due to “un-requested time off”. *WTF*?!* (This was a catalyst in my deciding to change careers – one of the best decisions I ever made.)

Even worse though was the fate of the Vietnamese guy who turned out to be an illegal immigrant and got deported. Poor bastard.

I should add that the company the girl worked for sent me a nice cheque via the police and also an invite for me and wifey to their Christmas party – which was a super wicked upmarket affair!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 16 Dec 2004, 23:48, Reply)

hehe tight boss - not really
we went out for a slap up meal on the company then got wasted on the company then taxi home on the company, not bad for a garden centre owned by a brassic bitch with a 'tache


N.B. brassic = broke
(Bored, Thu 16 Dec 2004, 23:41, Reply)

We are having a Berni
Our boss can stretch to ten quid a head, "So nobody have a starter".
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Dec 2004, 23:37, Reply)

hahaha,
i just read the past 2 pages of answers thinking "what has this got to do with do bad taste?!"
( stevierar, Thu 16 Dec 2004, 23:36, Reply)