Pussy Tightness
What is the acceptable measure for pussy tightness? Obviously men have inches, but woman...? Is there a metric for this or will the kit kat analogies have to suffice?
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:44, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Following on from this post:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post354960

Landlord has still refused to pay up, and know has an "independent" building surveyor who'll state in court that the damage was caused by my negligence. Laughable.

So, my question is in the replies.
(gin'll fix it, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:23, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Some important questions regarding Edinburgh
Im going there this weekend for a stag.

1 - How much is a pint?
2 - How much is a kebab?
3 - How much is a packet of cigarettes?

thanks
rafter
baz

EDIT: any information regarding strippers, hookers and drugs should be gaz'd - 'preciate it!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:40, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Beta Joke
In Reply.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:59, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

this is interesting
www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-04-13-columbine-myths_N.htm

crazy mofos
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:24, 12 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

A verbal splurge
in the replies...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:40, 20 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Comb Sweet Comb


So sadly I am back from Edinburgh and back at work so you lot better be amusing
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:18, 251 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Easter bastards
I sent my brother an Easter egg via a Thorntons online chocolate delivery service. They offer custom icing, so I got him a simple 'CUNT' iced on it. I was very much looking forward to seeing him open it as these little family moments make life worth living.

What arrived today was a blank egg. Should I sue for my missing CUNT? Given I have an order acceptance receipt from them - I think the item shipped is different to that promised and should therefore be refunded. Any legal opinions? Not to mention damages for my ruined easter.....
(Lord Blumpy is mildly off-topic on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:17, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hymens & Sweaty Haemorroids


Who fancies a glass of wine and a chat?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:54, 179 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Hello QOTW! B3ta's hero JMG here.
I trust you're all well and well fed.

I was just on /talk discussing fat people and I know you'd all hate to miss out on P.P.I. as JMG was posting.

I was talking of how I see the average b3tan in my mind.
A slightly uncomfortable looking man in a hooded Parker jacket, not at all familiar with a crowded scene.
An element of bodily odour constantly embracing the man, known to all but the b3tan himself, choosing each morning to shower himself in Lynx deodorant spray.
As ever, /talk agrees with me, JMG. As I'm quite important.



How do you, the QFTW users see your fellow board user?
Please don't use my view of you people as some kind of mannequin upon which to add your own twists. Start from scratch.
Well done me.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:53, 13 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

New Comic


Bless you my children, another comic for you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:50, Reply)

Cackers!
Challenge Gender Stereotypes!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:09, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

This weekend
My Wife and Mother in Law were assaulted by a local businessman who happens to be my wifes uncle and my Mother in Laws brother. He entered my Mother in Laws house shoved my daughter (in her pushchair) out of the way and grabbed my mother in law by the throat. my wife ran forward and was also grabbed by the throat and slammed against a glass door. I ran forward and the woman beating pussy shites it and legs it. The police have said he will probably just get a caution. Having grown up in an abusive household with a very violent father (may he burn in hell) I can understand the fear. My Mother in Law has moved out of the house because the police have said a restraining order is unlikely.

I am so pissed off and know revenge is a bad idea but thats my wife! I wish there was a loop hole that allows a man to get revenge on the man that assaults his wife because there bloody should be :(

All of its over some stupid inheritance row but their mother is still alive and in a home so its not his fucking money to be demanding!

Argh :(
( Peej, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:40, 12 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

My question to you
why the buggary fuck would anyone want to pay £100 for a shirt?

there comes a point when an item of clothing just isn't worth the money that is asked for.

Fair enough, spend £400 on a suit, that can be worth it. But within some quite limited boundaries a shirt is a shirt.

The material can only be so good, the process of creation of the shirt can only be so good, and the cut can only be so good.

The upper limit of this is about £45 I reckon.

What are your views? Bonus points for actually making me think "fair enough, that's a good reason to spend £100 on a shirt"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 15:23, 22 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I have had an idea
Thought: Everyone is going to end up with the same surname in several thousand years.

Reasoning: Generally, women change their surname when they get married. The majority of women get married (sorry guys, you're not really a factor here). While there are those who do not change their name, or they go to a double barrelled name, or may change their name if they get divorced, most of those will have children with the surname.

This takes the maternal surname out of circulation. Many families only have female children. Those children will have the fathers surname and not the mothers original surname. The mothers surname will therefore not be carried through, so when the grandparents die that surname dies out in that branch of the family and will not be carried forward to future generations. Therefore, the number of surnames will slowly decrease over time by current customs.

Your thoughts?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 14:22, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Ahh so this is Off topic.
Fresh from a ridiculous weekend spazzing about in the 'Burgh with some of you people I am feeling fiiine.

Hope all of you had an awesome time up here in this fair city.
What did you do on Monday?

Sorry I couldnt come out a play but I had an IRL date.

I also must say that you lot are a spiffing bunch, Very fun to hang out with.
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 12:12, 13 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Rock Band or Guitar Hero?
I was out with the missus yesterday in the local computer game emporium and we saw offers for Rock Band and Guitar Hero world tour...and seeing as she wants a karaoke game and I can't play a guitar we thought we may pick up one of these games, but my question to you dear B3tans is this...

We've got a Wii so which one should we get?

All suggestions are welcome...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 9:25, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Red Dwarf
what were they thinking?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 8:49, 9 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

It be a new working week
Since I imagine many of you were off yesterday.

Come in and tell me tales of your weekend.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 8:39, 68 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Some things just make me angry
Amazon have since said it's "a glitch"
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 7:08, 4 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Blouse's highlights of the weekend.
Davros's fantastic wedding jacket which he wore out in the evening.

Labia and Nostrobor in kilts.

Jennymemonic's drinking game.

The chippy near my hotel which served ace chips and which I partook of after each night's festivities whether I was hungry or not.

Tourette's seeing a balloon she wanted in the park and chasing it like a mong so she could hold it.

The ocd waiter in the Italian restaurant.

Not being sick in the morning.

Tulip and Beekers dressed as lesbians.
( girlinthehole, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 17:45, 45 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The latest addition to my household


He's called Bunda (named by my friend who just dumped him on me) and he's the size of my thumb. Cute ain't he?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 13 Apr 2009, 13:13, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Somewhere to talk bollocks all day
I thought it would be a nice idea to have a thread where people could come and talk to each other all day.

Work is bloody DEAD today, so enter for no-holds-barred conversation.

No cake!


( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 8:18, 175 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Come On You Bastards...
Where's the pics from the Scottish Bash?

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 3:14, 6 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Perhaps its just the LSD speaking...
but - when you look at things at the atomic level, and then at the astronomic level, isn't everythnig the same.

Our atoms are just star systems, our galaxies just electrons and protons - the earth just strange quarks, the moon dark matter...

Do many people subscribe to this theory?

Is this fractal theory?

We can zoom in and out and it's all just one great mandlebrot? should I just crack open the vodka?
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 1:09, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Good morning my darlings!
It's a beautiful day. Remember. Jesus died on the cross to save our sins. So let's go sin some more...he didn't die hard enough!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 19:09, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

You can certainly tell
that 90% of the OT posters have undergone extraordinary rendition to a foreign country, there to be plied with booze.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 17:52, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Bones
Been watching a lot of Bones episodes recently, and as the series goes on it has become apparent that Descanal's character is becoming more and more of a caricature of Cmdr Data from Sar Trek TNG.

It's beginning to spoil the show. Even more than the "Oh, FFS" yellow 3D modelling hologram thing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 0:33, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

All right QOTW'ers....
I'm so bored at work, being hit really hard, like a brick, by the credit crunch. A month ago I had three jobs, now I have basicly half a job.

I need to really bump up ideas, use me noggin', and pimp myself out.

I'm quite good at making website things, and coming up with sollutions on low budgets.

I'm seriously emo about job (and non-job) related things at the moment, so need to wallow in self pitty infront of some online people, then come monday morning, buck up my ideas and make my millions.

You all seem like an inteligent bunch, tell me where your main skills lie.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 11 Apr 2009, 23:11, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)