Faith in humanity............RESTORED!
So I was just at the grocery store buying cat food to feed my babies, and the checkout lady was asking everyone if they wanted to buy flowers for mom for Mothers Day (it's tomorrow in the US).
I scathingly looked at her and responded "she died last year". Poor checkout lady was all of a fluster.
Got my cat food and stomped off quite grumpily. As I was opening my car door, I heard a lady saying "excuse me". I turned around, and her and her daughter handed me a bunch of white roses and said that they'd overheard and it must be a rough time for me and they hoped the roses would make me feel a bit better.
I cried.

Edit: This afternoon, I am going to buy a bottle of champagne and some flowers, and give them to a random person who looks like they need cheering up on my way to the lake.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 9 May 2009, 18:36, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yorkshire Grey, W1 - Last Night
I met a bunch of b3tans - despite my having been on b3ta for a while, this is the first time I've ever met any b3tans in real life.

So - thank you all for making me feel so welcome within your company. The company in question includes (and I apologise to any usernames that I miss in this list):

- Herr Doktor Lemmninge (and happy birthday for Tuesday)
- The Grammar Badger
- Ancrenne
- Clendrix
- WellGroomedWookie
- Light_In_Chains
- Devil in Tights (remember, you've only got to do 17 days to beat me)
- PJM
- Chickenlady
- Angelica666
- CR3 (despite thinking that I was an investment banker - I mean, FFS?!)
- SuperMac(sp?)
- Charlotte (sorry, didn't catch your username)

Again, anyone whose name I missed - I apologise.

Edit: got the name of the pub wrong, and missed Angelica ... oops!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sat 9 May 2009, 12:17, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Guess you all have sore heads.
Have some love and feel better soon guys. Put up the pics pleaaaaaaaaase!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 11:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm so glad
I don't live in Germany. Talk about a kneejerk reaction.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8041320.stm
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 9 May 2009, 10:09, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wake up
wake up.
wake up.

Or I'll morph into a white westie and pee on your shoes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 9 May 2009, 6:26, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have been to a bash
And have managed to get on my train home. Unlike the last few bashes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 May 2009, 23:48, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well its my birthday in 20 mins
and I got in from work at 11:30 - I went to work this morning at 8am.

I am sitting chilling with some beer on my own in my flat and honestly I'd not want to be anywhere else.

So QOTW - what're you going to get me and what was your worst present?
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Fri 8 May 2009, 23:39, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Herr Dok
Just proposed. Woo hoo!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 May 2009, 22:12, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We have just left Tiscali for O2.
O2 was activated yesterday morning. Our Tiscali e-mail address ceased to exist at some point between yesterday afternoon and this afternoon. The only communication we have had with Tiscali is requesting the MAC. Are they normally that quick to terminate accounts?
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 8 May 2009, 21:14, Reply)

Returning to the land of Fender
I have just decided to buy a Stratocaster (2001, Mexican, in Sunburst), off a friend of a friend, after a hiatus from playing of 30 years. Why? I have no bloody idea. But I hope I can still break into "Stairway To Heaven","Smoke on the water", and all the whatever bar-blues that the Quo still flog to death. The Duke- coming soon to a cattery near you! (It's the only way to drown the noise, y'know.)
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Fri 8 May 2009, 17:54, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well
I'm now sitting outside the pub listening to TISM. What are you lot doing?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:47, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OI BERT! YOU COCKMUNCHING, PENSIONER FELCHER!
If you want the reason for the origin of the picture on my profile, it's here

That is all

Yes, it's a shameless plug, but I'm ok with it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:34, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

a question regarding immigration
asylum seekers aside, do you think people should be allowed to move country willy-nilly without some form of useful or desirable skill to show that they are worthy?

Your thoughts, oh people of b3ta
(The Stalker's Stalker For all your stalking needs, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:25, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who'd like to take time out from discussing LUNCH to discuss JMG?
Ultimately we know where this leads, with inevitable name calling and making stuff up about me in general.
But let's try and get through this without some of you throwing your toys out of the pram and blaming me from anything varying from swine flu to you being mildly obese.

How's QOTW, today?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:24, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know this isn't /links, but I don't care
I've just found some amazing new technology on eBay that everyone with cars should purchase.

I've just placed a rather large order.
(username1, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:48, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Doooo Noooot Waaaaaaaaaaaaaant
mothers cooing and bringing their crotchfruit into school.

'Specially not when they're my age!!

fucking hell.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:53, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

IPO (Patent Office, as was)
IPO = Intellectual Property Office, a UK government agency.

I've spent much of this morning trying desperately hard to log a new invention with them to obtain some form of initial protection. I've now got it but not without ringing someone in deepest Wales and threatening to do unspeakables to them. Grrr.

Here's a question for you all: if you had an invention that could seriously improve (by simplification and providing protection) the lives of people with a specific condition (in this one, diabetes), would you give it away as freeware or would you sell it to the highest bidder? My view of the world is to give it away because:

(a) very good for the soul
(b) no idea who I'd sell it to
(c) I want to, and I can
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:51, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic up!
Go here, read it, feel free to add constructive criticism ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:26, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

a very important announcement.
Bert takes it up the wrong'un from Al.

That is all.
may or may not be true.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 11:16, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where do you want to be right now?
Looking out of the window (raining hard and very windy), I want to be in a tent with the rain hammering hard overhead, curled up with my partner in an deafening display of fluffeh.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:02, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else hear '4 stands up' last night?

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00f4ptw if you're interested. One guy, Matt Kirshan, did a joke about his mum using lol at the end of texts, as she thought it stood for Lots of Love.

I know I read this on QOTW ages ago. My question is, has a b3tan hit the small time, are comics stealing our material or did a b3tan nick this from someone else?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:51, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's Kaol's real name?
He looks like a Rupert or a Nigel to me.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 10:39, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Best drag queen names....
Gloria Hole.
Sharon Needles.
Ida Slapter.

Any other suggestions?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 8 May 2009, 9:39, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wow
that was a *LONG* Bork.

how did you survive?
Me? I rocked back and forth muttering "mingeflaps" over and over.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 8 May 2009, 9:13, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pedal activated bins are delightful
What little inventions do you love?
(TheColonel, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:41, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cro(w)atia, pt.4
Because I'm sure you've all been waiting to find out what I did last Thursday.
Previous instalments are:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post415404
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post415336
and
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post415942

(For those sick to the back teeth of this ego-massaging drivel, don't worry, there's only one more day left to write up.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:26, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well bugger me
Looks like cr3's been busy! The place looks like /talk a bit now. Should be easier for me to follow. Hmmm... incidentally- can anyone think of a good reason for me to attend DiT's Stagbash?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:21, Reply)