Euro elections
We've had a flyer from Labour and one from the Lib Dems. Both printed on cheapo paper. Neither says what their party stands for, or explains what their party's policies will be.

The Labour one just slags on Cameron and the Lib Dem's slags off Labour.

Imagine a Pepsi ad where the tagline was "Don't drink Coke, have you seen what it does to a penny?"

What a crock
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:43, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking fuckers at Threadless
They've reprinted the t shirt I've been waiting for for ages and now I can't afford it :(

www.threadless.com/product/690/Homework_Evidence

Someone buy it for me...puhlease
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:41, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What the fuck happened to OT today?
Lots of new thread, but none of them terribly inspiring.

I can't be arsed to go and reply to each thread here, so here are my answers instead...

Because it's funny
agrees, man the fuck up
why?
No because it stopped being interesting halfway through season 3
agrees
yes www.supercook.com/
oh well, you'll live
ym's tasty flange
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:31, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In response to TGB
In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB

In response to TGB



Sorry that was just my words echoing around her gigantic fanny.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In response to everyone below
Man the fuck up
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In response to Vipros below.
I just wanted to remind my fellow denizens of O/T that you're all wonderful, wonderful people and should give yourselves or each other a hug.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:55, Reply)

I'm going to watch the finale of season 5 of Lost tonight
provided my computer hasn't done something stupid like crashing during the day's downloading.

Anyone else been following it the whole way through and equally as excited?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:53, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind you all
that you suck

thanks for listening
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:36, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does the b3ta cookbook exist anywhere?
google is failing me terribly...
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shitbollocksfucktwatcunt
The already-postponed-once HAWKLORDS show at the legendary Roundhouse has now been CANCELLED ALTOGETHER.

I am mightily disappointed. I appreciate that I should MTFU, and that no-one else will give even the tiniest shit, but I've been looking forward to that for fucking months.


The End.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:29, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright QOTW Chubsters?
The TALK Chubsters have debated football.

What will you debate?
Take in to account it's me, JMG.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need cheering up.
Remind me again why I bother looking for someone special, apart from the sex thing obviously.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, you bunch of mothers!
Where the Heck Should We Go on My Stag?

EDIT: I've just realised that polls are rubbish. However, as we can't really go to ym, it looks like Belushi's in Covent Garden is the place where the action will kick off!

And if you haven't signes up yet, I'm sure there's a bloody good reason. Like seeing Judas Priest, for example.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Currently hating my digestive system
My body has decided for me that that I am becoming a vegetarian. It will not allow me to eat any meat, any sauces, eggs, or even bread, pasta and cereals. All I can eat is fruit or vegetables without me having to stop after a couple of mouthfuls. In desperation to kickstart my meating habits again, I have a bacon sandwich for lunch... most of it is now in the bin. I couldn't even face just picking out the delicous bacon. Can I have a new digestive system please? I'll even swap with Pooflake for the ability to eat meat again!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here's one for you...
Me and friends were chatting at the weekend, and came up with a question.

What are your favourite ever moments/matches/whatevers in sporting history?

The ones that still send shivers down your spine when you think of them. We allowed for multiples, because we all had several.

Mine are in the replies.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:13, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Chavs - They Just Can't Help Themselves...
...or in this case, that they have few problems helping themselves is the issue.

My mum paid me a visit this weekend and doesn't like to drive to Manchester from my hometown on her own, so she brought my cousin with her. Also, my younger cousin/her brother, a 14-year old already some way down the Path Of The Chav and his not-too-dissimilar mate came along for the ride.

Those familiar with my postings will know well that I have no love for chavs on account of their being scrounging, thieving, graceless, gutless, witless, amoral wankers and worse still, thinking that's a good thing. Still, since one of them was family I decided to let them in along the logic that I'm happy to give anyone from my hometown a break from that fucking awful place provided they don't take the piss. Hell, maybe I could convince them that there's more to life than the very, VERY little that my hometown has to offer.

So, I spent a few hours in the study with these two letting them try out a couple of my games on the PC whilst my mum and cousin talked the BF's head off in the sitting room (I made it up to him later lol). Some chav hallmarks were in evidence; limited vocabulary, piss-poor attention span, cheapass sportswear etc but otherwise they were respectful of my shit and myself. So far so good.

Still, allowing chavs in my place requires a fair leap of faith for me and they expressed a strong desire to return at some point, which would require a complete change of philosophy on my part, never mind a leap of faith. So I set them a test.

I skinned up some hash for myself and the BF after I'd laid on pizza for everyone, telling them that my mum would have a few things to say if I was offering it to 14-year-olds. Once I was done, I left my weed in plain sight. Shortly after, time came for the clan to head back home, so I left them in the study alone with my weed for 5mins whilst I said a proper goodbye to my mum and older cousin, whom I'd barely been able to chat with the entire time for their presence.

I watched their faces carefully as they left and they were decidedly and suddenly sheepish, which didn't bode well. Once I'd waved them off I checked my stash, and some was missing. Not a lot, maybe two quid's worth but they'd taxed me all the same after I'd fed and watered them and kept them entertained for three hours, the pair of little shits.

I'd really have liked to have been proven wrong, but as I said, they just can't help themselves. One of the definitions of a friend to me is someone whom I don't have to watch like a hawk around my stuff. So the rule is set - no more chavs in my gaff, the younger cousin included. And as for his dibs on my PC when I upgrade next year, he can fuck off in no uncertain terms.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:40, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Story in Reply.
Got a bus back from Wales yesterday, and was stuck behind a pair of the most annoying people possible.
( Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:04, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Travel Advice (New York, New York!)
Morning all!

I'm going to be heading over to New York for my 30th next year and am wondering what would be the best time of year to go?

Also wondering if anyone can recommend any good flight price comparison websites?

Cheers!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 11:48, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck me this QOTW is depressing.
Time for a new QOTD I think- what are we all grateful for?

To kick off, I'm grateful that I have a family I can rely on, who will be there for me, even if I ended up doing unspeakable things with goats.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 11:43, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The law of uninteded consequences, courtesy of XKCD
xkcd.com/585/
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:39, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't really have anything to say
but with the absence of spill your pointless thoughts here and maybe talk about what you're having for lunch a HSH thread I'm going to wibble here.

My eye really hurts as well but as my boss isn't here I'm mainly just pretending to read documents while having my eyes closed. There is a risk I'll fall asleep but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I was playing Descent (oh yeah who remembers that pile of AWESOME!) till like 1am as well. Maybe I got laser in my eye.

I'm not winking at you either.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:18, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any tips for livening up a Monday?
Save running amok with a hammer, of course.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:14, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fail.
Just wanted to share this with y'all. When adverts/products have not been thought through.

failblog.org/

(I love the Memory ad.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 18 May 2009, 9:40, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Just a quick one
Fnarr

So what do you lot think, is it appropriate to go to interviews wearing a black shirt, or should it be white?

I'm tending towards white.

I only ask since I do not own a white shirt!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 18 May 2009, 9:27, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My mum's brill
She ran her first marathon on Saturday (and her last, she promises) in 3 hours 52 minutes!

She puts me to shame.

*is very proud*
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 18 May 2009, 8:39, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wee dog
Can anyone identify this breed of dog? Normally I can't stand small dogs but this one was brilliant and very friendly too (though it probably had rabies).

Picture in replies. No "your mum" jokes required from al.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 18 May 2009, 7:25, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

EARTHQUAKE!!!
Anyone else here in SoCal? We just had a 4.7.
Sat eating dinner and I felt a rolling motion and squeaked "earthquake". My friends said what? I said "earthquake" and then we got hit by a massive jolt.
Scared the crap out of me and a couple of the people with us.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 18 May 2009, 6:01, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is my car a fluke?
Everything I've read about the Renault Laguna basically says that they're famously unreliable. Mine's 9 years old and has 154k miles on the clock, goes like poo off a pole and runs as sweet as even though I've never changed the oil in the 20k miles I've driven it for.

Anybody else have a Laguna that is far more reliable than people make out?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 18 May 2009, 2:47, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)