F1 Qualifying
I'm watching this now whilst working - does anyone else think that the accident of the Ferrari and the McLaren were, well, odd?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sat 23 May 2009, 13:17, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning good morning good morning!
Good morning everyone on the start of this lovely bank holiday! How are we all today?

Right now I'm cacking myself. Tis my first counselling session today, and right now you could use my knees to pulverise rock.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sat 23 May 2009, 8:40, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woohooo!
Back from medical. Tits are fine, fadge is fine, cholesterol is elevated but just need to eat more fruit and veg.
All other bloodwork is above normal.
Pizza noms tonight! I will have an apple for afters!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who remembers Al posting that he was watching [REC] and shitting himself?
Well I just did the same.

*sits in the corner wibbling*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:28, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've
just got home from a late night walk, before getting down to some more work before passing out.

On the way I passed my incredibly arrogant and annoying ex-boss. Who had been pulled over by the police and was receiving a rather loud telling off.

I smiled.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Fri 22 May 2009, 22:18, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Put on BBC4
and watch the opera, there is a fella with two half coconuts and a stuffed wolf. He would also seem to have a lilly up his arse.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 22 May 2009, 20:25, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two things:
1) I've got a week off.
2) I've just scored a job for September!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 22 May 2009, 20:19, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am going to the docs for a full medical
this afternoon, including a pap smear. Why, oh why do I feel compelled to wear makeup and do my hair because someone's gonna be fiddling with my nether regions?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 22 May 2009, 18:43, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not something that the ladies round here have a problem with
But I was really impressed with it.

Lesson One for Girls: Anger.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Righto
I'm off on my hols.

Pip pip!

See you a week Wednesday
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:34, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was just emailed this fantastic joke:
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A Nervous Wreck

Ba-dum-tish
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 22 May 2009, 16:44, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Strange things....
I was just out in the fields just now with my camera, putting some use to my 70-300mm lens, something I hardly touch since getting the camera. I then stood in the field (it was my Dad's field) and suddenly started thinking about Dad and how much he loved it, started really missing him. Then this bee-like humming sound started going near my ear, I ignored it, it buzzed a few times, then I heard what I thought was my Uncle call out my name, and I yelled back "OK, be with you in a minuite".

I then turn around to where the humming is, and I see these tiny little creatures (can anyone identify them? see photo further down). I get the camera and take a load of fantastic once-in-a-lifetime shots (I'll upload properly tomorow, using mobile for internets at the moment).



After they've gone, I went up to the house, where my uncle was still crashed out on the sofa, same as I left him. His voice was very much the same as Dads.

I'm not sure entirely about what I'm implying here, I don't know the awnsers, it could be my head making things up, as it's two days off from exactly one year since he went, but that's what just happened, and the pain doesn't hurt so much at the moment.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:02, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ridiculous question of the day time
What is the strangest thing you have seen (not on TV/Video/Internet, but in person)

I once saw a large gorilla pleasuring herself in Berlin Zoo - all the time making eyes at the weird guy who was filming it with his video camera.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 22 May 2009, 15:06, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Which one of you cock-goblins cried to the mods and got my wonderful cock flavoured story removed from the newsletter.
I'm not angry, just disapointed.
( WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 14:58, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, I turned you around
Turned you into someone new.
Now five years later on
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 May 2009, 14:53, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey there lovely people!
I'm on my last day of work today which is nice before I start my brand spanking new job which is paying more, less hours and lots of travel!

Anyways, I'll be out in Manchester tonight with a couple of mates from work around Piccadilly and the northern quarter and wondered if there were any bars that I have to try? Also so I can sound at least slightly knowledgeable in front of my mates!

Cheers!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 14:35, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was working in my lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight.
My monster from the slab began to arise.
When suddenly to my surprise.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 22 May 2009, 14:17, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone
got any tips for staying awake for the next 30, better make it 35, hours? In such a way that I'm not monged out on redbull or coffee, and doesn't involve the insertion of aubergines into inappropriate body orifices?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Fri 22 May 2009, 14:14, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just seen a very astute comment on fmylife
the difference between a man being a stud and a woman a slut

"That's because guys are bragging about how much they've earned, whereas girls would be bragging about how much they've given away. It's different. Pirates would be famous for finding tons of treasure; not by having their treasure found by everybody else"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:26, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am a mong
Some information I need to complete a project appraisal has finally come through.

I have just gone through the paperwork to check completeness, and finished writing the appraisal... then closed it down without saving the changes first.

Mingeflaps.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:17, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New comic up on my site!


Enjoy!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:43, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just had this forwarded from the boss
"Just to let you know that I have suggested to my teams that they could leave at 4 instead of 5 today as it's a bank holiday and it's finally sunny (although as I type the sun has just gone in)"

How good is that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:58, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to have a really slow and dull afternoon today
any suggestions for how to liven it up?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:49, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't care that you probably don't care
Had a really good skiing session last night. I'm getting really close to being able to do 360s now and my 180s are really tidy. I also did a switch 180 (going up the jump backwards then doing a 180) for the first time and almost did a switch 360 by accident!

The 3 of us that go up there regularly sat around having a pint with the coaches afterwards and got talking about instructing which reignited my interest in becoming a ski instructor. I've found a 12 week course in New Zealand for about £6k (just need flights) which looks interesting. I don't think it'll be happening anytime though.

Switch 180: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dreHh3aEJM
360: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zllVzu43rNE
( Captain V, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:27, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looked up an old girlfriend the other day.
It's great being a gynaecologist.

Your sick jokes please - we've got three days of PUB to get through...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:15, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OI!!! TIGHTLY!
Yes, you!

Where's your bloody bash being held then?

It's three weeks tomorrow; I need to be prepared, suss out a route to the venue and decide what to wear and EVERYTHING!

Bloody lackadaisical sod.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:47, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Weekend
If there's any one in London who feels like coming out dog walking with me or film watching or - anything other than yourstruly feeling on his own with the dog - feel free to let me know.

Cheers, Ed.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:47, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

College Reunions.
I am filled with inertia at the thought of it. Mrs Tugnut2 says this is what I always say but I will end up going and having a great time.

Whaddya think? Pros and cons please?

(Background - I have not been to any previous ones, I am in touch with a few friends who will be going, possibly bump into a number of ex g/fs.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:42, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Have you ever wondered
if it's possible to inhale two whole squares of toilet paper while preparing to blow your nose, subsequently coughing-up morsels of soggy bog roll for ten minutes afterwards?

Yes. Yes it is.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right,
It's Friday. Monday is a bank holiday. Three days off for most of us.
What're you fuckers up to?

If the answer is "going shopping" I don't care.
( Cawl, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:13, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)