Does anyone else...
...buy the little pasta pots from Tesco expecting them to taste... well nice, and then get really sad when you open them and they taste all horrible... just me then! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:42, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok then
if you had to insert an object into one of Al's orifices which object and which orifice would you choose?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is getting pretty boring people
I don't like having to do all the work here, lets have some others stepping up to the plate. I'll start you off with another but then I really do have to do some work.

Okay, if you had to eat just one type of veg with your meals for the next year or two, what would it be?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 11:57, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need a cable to connect my phone to my computer
I need this because I want to copy my contacts over onto the new phone and I have more than you can fit on a SIM card.

Which stupid cunt thought that a limit of 100 and a bit contacts was reasonable, I can sort of understand it as it was a long time ago, but why has no-one updated the fucking system!?

And why can't you jsut store your contacts on a memory card and transfer that instead? Fucking stupid backwards thinking mobile phone manufacturers.

Anyway, the point of my moan is that I know the type of cable I need, but I can't find an actual shop that stocks it. Why is this so bloody hard? I don't want to wait four days for someone to post me one, I want to physically purchase one. Suggestions as to what I might try please.

(note: the cable is a nokia CA-70)
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 11:17, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Long shot...
Has anyone else pre-ordered the new Eels album from their website? It says it's not released until tommorow, but a friend had an attempted delivery on Saturday of the goods which he missed.

Does anyone know when I can expect my shiny new copy to land on my desk?
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 11:16, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK I think I've missed something
What the hell is it with all the 'Honda Accord' stuff?

Berate me all you want, I don't care!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 10:55, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So the weekend eh?
What was that all about, also, what's the deal with airline food?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 10:25, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuckery
After a lovely weekend, I get into work early, only to find that some customers who've been assigned to me have come in, and no one gave me any prior warning. So, I've spent the last 90 minutes running around like a blue arsed fly trying to get everything sorted.

What hardships have hit you so far this week?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 10:12, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well,
I'm back.
I'm sure I was sorely missed last week.
My week off included getting rats, being in Wales and so much meat I thought I was going to die.
What've you fuckers been up to?

EDIT: Back soon, someone broke into part of work over the weekend, and there's been crime. I need to go solve it.
( Cawl, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 10:07, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Whilst perusing eBay
I came across this user-name that appears to have been inspired by Peter Sutcliffe.

myworld.ebay.com/hammerslag/
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 9:55, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today my boss wants
to have loads of fucking shit meetings about loads of pointless wank. Why do managers feel they have to have meetings about everything?

Ideas on how to kill my boss, or at the least fun things I can do in the meeting are welcome.

I wish George Clooney was my boss then I could dream about shagging him in the stationery cupbaord.

Also I have about 35 cds I need to shred but can't be assed, so if you have random ideas as to what to do with those let me know*

*fuck off Al I am not putting them up my huge vag
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 9:40, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Monday
As the Boomtown Rats famously sang, they didn't like Mondays but for those of us struggling into work on a gloriously sunny Monday, here's an HSH thread.

Note: sorry for no image - sending from BlackBerry.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 7:44, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Swine flu ...
Here in not-too-sunny Oz, we are bracing ourselves for a possible explosion of Swine flu cases.

A few days ago, a cruise ship was headed for the Great Barrier Reef when the passengers started falling ill. They cut the cruise short and made for Brisbane. The Plague Ship has just docked a few miles north of where I live.

Despite my fears for the well being of my two small children, I did laugh at the news footage of the ship docking and relieved passengers shouting at the cameras "Aussie aussie aussie, oink oink oink".

Flamin yokels.
(Que?, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 7:35, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Any b3tards in Montreal?
There's going to be an outstanding beer festival there this week. Gaz me if you're going to be in town and we can have a mini-bash.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 4:25, Reply)

Mince
My little sister just sent me this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP9BtScBQaI

It made me laugh a lot... but it also made me a wee bit homesick...

Anything really stupid remind *you* guys of home?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:59, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I've got to
go back to work tomorrow.

I really can't be bothered, anyone else want to do it?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 31 May 2009, 22:33, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hurrah, there's a show about penis' on at 10, so that's my evening sorted.
what are you lot up to this evening?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:43, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would like to apologize if I was out of line last night when
after reading the responses to the lovely BGB's question about the woman who kept saying she didn't want birthday cake but then had her feelings hurt when she didn't get cake, and when a responder said she should be punched and kicked, I called the person a certain name that seems to have had the post removed (or I can't find it anymore anyway).

As I have two beautiful daughters and am lucky to be married to a wonderful woman (who was physically abused in her first marriage) I have absolutely no tolerance for anything related to abuse of women even if it is intended to be a joke. I’ll try to ignore anything like that in the future but probably won’t be able to.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Sun 31 May 2009, 21:10, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Christ on a bike
My face really fucking hurts... Was at a wedding yesterday and on the way home my nose had an argument with a pavement.

I am now the poud owner of an extra nostril at the top of the bridge.

Anyone else managed to suitably disfiguire themselves over the weekend?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 31 May 2009, 20:44, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I still have 6 postcardsa
so send me addresses. On way to airport. Still drunk
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 31 May 2009, 19:17, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bored bored bored
Should I watch

In Bruge
Boondock Saints or
City of God?
(Halfy By light alone, Sun 31 May 2009, 18:37, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just got home from my holidays last night.
But that's not the point of this post. What I wanted to share, was:

I was flown home by Bill Bailey. True Fact.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sun 31 May 2009, 17:06, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just wanted to share with you
that I noticed that last weeks laugh at the sweary man documentary on Tourettes is on Sign Zone tonight.
Every wanted to learn to swear in sign language? This is your chance.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 31 May 2009, 16:51, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear cunting fucks
it's 8am and I don't think I am sober......
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 31 May 2009, 15:58, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'sup motherfuckers
I've just cooked a whole fish on my BBQ. It was damned tasty too. So who's here rather than out enjoying the sunshine?
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Sun 31 May 2009, 15:03, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3tans, I am listening to Bon Jovi
Livin' On A Prayer - since I'm home alone I'm listening to all my music including the really cheesy stuff.

What's your most shameful, you'd die if anyone found out, musical secret? Mine is this www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBoxjLPJeUE (it's not a rickroll, although I do actually like that song and listen to it all the way through every time I get rickrolled).
( Maladicta, Sun 31 May 2009, 13:51, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, we're off to Wales...
Myself and the clucking one are off for five days of climbing and biking in North Wales and we're almost ready to go. The weather forecast is looking good, the bikes are fettled and it's going to be a great holiday.

The only thing that's dampening the day is that one of the awesome Chundercats has seemingly regurgitated on every single bed, window sill and carpet that she could possibly find.

I'm going outside for five minutes. With a shovel...

See you in a week's time folks!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 31 May 2009, 11:39, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sorry
I wrote some more mindless drivel. At some point, I'll stop using b3ta as a springboard for my ideas.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Sun 31 May 2009, 9:36, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)