How fucking COOL is this bag?
www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?ModuleNo=229254

I saw it on Saturday instore and am going to get one soon
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:19, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Coat & Badge, Putney
OK, so which B3tan was sitting nursing a half of lager in the beer garden yesterday, about 1pm?

Go on, own up, i recognised the T-shirt...

If I hadn't been with the missus, I may have come and asked your username.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:06, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When I come into power....
I'm going to put a limit on how loud a soundsystem can be in a car.

I'ld probably do another few things, but I can't think of them right now, that's the most pressing issue as the fucking twat parked acrossed the road fucks his ears up.

What would you do?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:04, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I has a fan. A 12 inch one no less FNARRR
I did ponder getting a £75 air con unit, but can't justify it when my room is more like an icebox 3/4 of the year.

Today's important question...how many of you have resorted to sleeping nekkid in this most clement of weather and which of you is a dutty fucker and does it all year round?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:03, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who wants a Mummy?
How do b3ta? Long time lurker finally joined up, you lucky lucky people.

So, you go somewhere new & you offer a gift right?

Who wants a Mummy? Seriously. I'm not talking about the kind of Mummy that squeezes out little miracles. I'm talking good old fashioned, put a curse on you, Abbot & Costello bothering, Mumra the ever living, doesn't like cats or John Hannah, I'm from Egypt motherfucker Mummy.

It looks like this
www.flickr.com/photos/36520277@N07/3670825375/


Who wants it?
(MyFakeName, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:01, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else
Think that in todays climate this is an obscene waste of money?

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/8123241.stm
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

hands up
Hands up if you had Jack Tweed / Jade Goody in the "most obscure celebrity to be trotted out to comment on Jackson's death" competition

www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?Michael_Jackson_gave_Jade_hope&in_article_id=693580&in_page_id=7
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm back!
I've been off work for a week, avoided the interweb and spent my time relaxing with the mrs and nipper.

I've also grown a beard.

Have I missed anything exciting?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:32, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

why should I hire you?
you have your chance to big yourself up. Do it now!

alternatively, wait for someone else to do it and then belittle them thus making you look better. It's all the same in the end.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:23, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was on Spreadshirt yesterday
and I made you guys a Meme Shop, as inspired by Labia Majora's badges:
http://chcb.spreadshirt.net/-/-/Shop/
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:23, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cowardly lion over here
YAY, HE'S HERE
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If my windscreen ever got chipped
that Gavin from Autoglass could definitely come and fix it. He makes me all confused.

If you were to... You know... Put one in a member of the same sex, who would it be?

Edited because I'm fucking stupid.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:58, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm bringing graphs back
Fluffeth Vs Cuntiness


( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:57, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

morning jizzbags
what's new?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:45, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

U21 Championship final tonight...
England v Germany in Sweden.

I'm out in Sweden TOMORROW night...

Arse.
( snee held his breath since, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:39, Reply)

I am angry. Proper, shaking, angry.
For fucks sake. Angry rant in the replies.

Al, TGB, if you're going to be cunts, then please just fuck off. really not in the mood for your spitefulness at the moment.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 7:05, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wedding Gift
Any ideas for an original yet thoughtful wedding gift?

The downlow is as follows:

- I'm in Australia, won't be in UK until couple of weeks before the wedding (early August) but can buy online and get delivered to address at home
- I'd rather get something original, that's obviously had some thought put into it, than some sheets or crockery or some other shite on teh wedding list
- iwoot.com is usually a good place for me to start for these things, only seen a couple of things that may be suitable
- he's my best mate, i've known her since school (but I wouldn't know where to start when buying her a present)
- their house is really small
- i'm skint, mostly because I'm flying from the other side of the fucking world to get there, around 100 quid-ish if possible

Thought I'd run it past you intelligent and arousing fuckers first to see what you can offer...
(Zutroy started without you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 7:03, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know burger monkeys are stupid.
For my sins I work in Burger King. And yes I know we're all mouth breathing idiots. But you know who is more stupid?

YOU PEOPLE WHO EAT THERE!

The 1p will not help if something comes to £1.29 That just means I have to give you it back with another 1p or maybe a shiny tuppence!

MORE IN REPLIES!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 2:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fluffehs
Driving along a narrow back-road in darkest Lincolnshire today, I saw some creatures on the road ahead so I slowed down thinking they were birds, but they didn't fly away, so I slowed down more and had to stop. Not 50 yds away were about a dozen rabbits congregating on the road, not big grown-up rabbits either, ikkle-biddy ones about the size of your fist. I don't think they'd seen me or cared.

I got out of the car and tried to get a pic but they were too far away for my shit camera phone, and when I crept nearer to get a better pic, they all fucked off through a gap in the hedgerow. Just as well really, as Mrs SLVA and I were nearly out of 'ahhh' by then.

It made me smile all the way to Market Rasen.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 1:53, Reply)

Right, what you want to do, is get a hammer, and smash in their left knee.
Then do the same thing to their right elbow.

Fucker's can't cruel away then, not enough pain to make them pass out, remind them of the fact that no crutches will help them, they'll soon see sense and open the safe, nobody is spending a year in a chair for eight quid an hour.

Now, what are you bringing to the table?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:38, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Day out
Yesterday, I visited the North York. moors to be greeted with thick fog.

What national parks/areas of outstanding natural beauty have you driven around to see absolutely fuck all?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:33, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

as I'm a lazy cunt and can't be arsed to read through today's posts
what have I missed?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:30, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@everyone
If we're now using OT as our new Twitter page, does this mean we now have to start drawing CDCs and photoshopping FLUFFEH KITTUMS! on Twitter to make up some sort of internet/cosmic balance?
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 0:21, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I just watched Moonwalker
I loved it as a kid, not so much now. But hey, it's what he would have wanted right?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:47, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@smathels
What's wrong? You can tell me.

Were talk mean to you?
Did mama not breast feed you?
Did the girls in school reject you?
Are you a lolfattie?
(MoistTickle we are legion, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:29, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@ everyone
WTF?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 22:11, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@Willenium
we've gone twitterstyle. Do you like it?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:55, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not clear as to whats going on with off topic
please could someone reply with some enlightening comments. or perhaps plans for the coming week
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:51, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@tention
Online.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 21:50, Reply)