Evening All

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 17:57, 118 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Blimey!
So....2 night ago I sent my boss my resignation, and as you know we had breakfast yesterday.
He refused to accept the resignation, conceded that I'm not suited for a sales role, and is today firing the office manager so I can get back into admin. So, not only will I be his executive assistant (as I was before my leave), I'll also be the office manager with several underlings. Woo!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 16:15, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

That's the worst shit I've ever had to do.
Did I miss anything?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:36, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Something I wanted to ask you internet-savvy people.

Many a time I sit down at my bottom of the range Dell laptop, for to do some typing while a-listening to some music. I've not plugged in the wireless router as (see: tightwads) it burns electricity like nobody's business. So, why does the totally un-helpful laptop pop up to tell me every four and a half seconds that it can't find a wireless network when I've not asked it to?

Is there any way I can turn this function off so that it will stop looking for an internet connection and just let me get on with my work?

Thanks.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:32, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I once had sex with a member of my preferred sex.
It was great, I am a male and prefer females.

We hit it off, and we decided to have sex, and it was done, and it was fine.

Do you have any sex related stories?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 15:14, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been reminded about something by a qotw answer
a little while ago I was at home during the day and saw we were running out of bog roll.

bright was the sun and high my spirits as I sauntered down to the local shop.

To my great chagrin I saw that they only had one pack of bog roll left, and it contained 18 rolls.

Shrugging, I picked up the pack and descended on the till where the slack-jawed yokel behind the counter looked at the packet and said:

"are you sure you don't want some Imodium instead?"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 14:04, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Crappy Comics
Howdy people.

So, for the last five Fridays, I've been writing a comic based on my work. It's only been circulated in my company, as a light-hearted Friday thing.

I thought, seeing as I'm very bored, that I'd edit them a bit so that I can post them here. I hope you enjoy them, and apologise if they're too 'in-jokey'.

First
Second
Third
Fourth
Fifth
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 13:52, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Update
I've got Metallica tickets!


Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:29, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know........
Pete Coryndon.....
(rubberthong, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:30, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Metallica tickets
went on sale at 9 this morning.

I wanted 2 tickets for the show in the O2. by 9:03 they were sold out

I'm gutted
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:16, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

further to a thread about beards further down
from beards.org:

"...the male beard communicates an heroic image of the independent, sturdy, and resourceful pioneer, ready, willing and able to do manly things...In conclusion, it may very well be true that inside every clean-shaven man there is a beard screaming to be let out. If so, the results of the present study provide a strong rationale for indulging that demand."

this is awesome. and true.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:37, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can I put this here?
"
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:19, 319 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

RIP Meep
Got a call at 7am from some binmen who'd just found my little cat Meep by the side of the road.

Some callous bastard had run her down and left her. They didn't even call us.

When I got there (about 25 yards away) Miss Meep was cold and stiff. I only pray that she was killed instantly.

Me and the missus are driving out to the banks of the Yarra later to bury her.

And this fucking hurts.


EDIT: This is Meeps website : meep.daftdoggy.com/
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 7:29, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

( Zuowan, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 1:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3ta bash pics - update
This is an update from this post.

Bash pics from the Sep 25 and Oct 18 bashes are now online! Hopefully, these should stay on the b3ta bash pool.

BTW: Have added some new ones and de-cropped some old ones coz someone changed their mind about being on the pics. Have also added some names and very minimalistic descriptions. Hopefully, they shouldn't be booted out of the pool this time.

Also, for some reason, they come out in the wrong order in the bash-pool, but are now in the correct order in my photo-sets ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/31589478@N07/sets/72157608224567943/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/31589478@N07/sets/72157608225031685/ ).

Note that as these have been re-uploaded, if you added any comments etc. before the update, these need to be re-added. Also, if you've made a link to any pics, the link needs to be changed to the new one.

These are just my pics. Scarpe also took some.

Enjoy.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 0:28, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Sales people
dont usually bother me...can i help you with anything...well ill be right over here if you need me...

Even pushy ones are ok however there is always an exception....Ann Summers..

No i do not need help purchasing items for sexual enjoyment....not even the third time you ask ( and i wasnt in for 3 hours before anyone gets funny!!)
(sparklehorse is loving popping his cherry...again....honest, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 21:38, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Me, mum and heroin
Anybody else watching this? Missed the first 10mins but will be watching the rest.
( Captain V, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 21:16, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

bbc site - article about sex ed in schools
if this guy aint already a member can we send out a team to find him...

I went to school in a large fully comp in Feltham, West London. These were the days when your parents had to sign a consent form for you to have sex education. I was about 14 (1975) and the school had hired a film about childbirth. Being that it had the film for only a short period, it was decided to show it to as many as possible in one sitting. So there we all were, about 150 of us in the school hall, watching a 16mm film with diabolical sound, of a woman giving birth. There was the usual noises and comments as the film progressed. After the baby appeared, the voice over mentioned the placenta would follow. At this point the projector jammed, which caused the film to melt from the centre of the picture outwards. The mother in the film was still on screen, so at first everyone thought the melting of the film was the placenta coming out, but it just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and the gasps of horror got louder and louder and louder, until the entire screen was filled with what we though was placenta, the illusion broken by a lone voice shouting 'the films on fire!'

Pandamonium ensued, and 150 young minds were scarred for life. Possibly my favourite school memory.
Karl, London
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 18:29, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've styled my moustache and beard combo
so I now look like a conquistador

I think it looks the business, but my girlfriend doesn't like it

is it time for her to go?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 18:15, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Probably a daft question, but ....
why is it, when I leave my mobile near the computer speakers, every now and then they do a weird, crackly sort of morse code?

It doesn't happen if the phone isn't nearby, and I tried leaving my daughter's mobile nearby as well and the same thing happened, so it has to be the phones. Being a logical sort, it's beginning to bug me.

Are the mobiles sending out some sort of signal every so often? Or do I just have weird speakers?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 18:08, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

right so today, 23rd...
my profile says

a member for 3 years, 11 months and 22 days

whens my B3ta birthday then?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 17:27, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fail
I just got sent an Epic Fail forward, which was a real yahoo question:

"Hi. Does anyone know if it's possible to use a background that would essentially turn my computer monitor into a mirror? Scanning a mirror doesn't work."

lolz
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 15:18, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since there isn't already one...


Come in and get toasty!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 15:13, 223 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bad memory
What do you do when your partner has such a bad memory that forgets any plan he's done with you and re-plans everything with his friends, without asking you, and you suddenly realize you don't have plans for a 4 days weekend?

I think I'm going to cry.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 14:51, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

wow, I have out clownshoed myself
in spectacular fashion. The L button on my keyboard has worn out, only the L mind which is a bit odd. we don't seem to have any spare keyboards for me to steal this letter and no-one absent for me to just nick theirs.

So, I coloured in a little piece of paper to leave a white L and sellotaped it to the button and re-attached it.

I only went and fucking stuck it on upside down.
I have worked in IT for years.

Anyone else had a novel "Errrrrrrgh Joey!!" moment recently?
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 14:44, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since folks are in helpful mode
I've just received a mobile phone upgrade. it's charged up and ready to go but...

I'm being prompted to enter a restriction code in order to use it. The default security code in the manual is 12345, and this doesn't work. So I figure the restriction code is something different to the security code, but there's fuck all in the manual about it as far as I can see. I've contacted Nokia, but so far, zilch.

Oddly enough, this only happens with the SIM card in. Take the SIM out, and I'm not being asked for any restriction code.

Any thoughts?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 23 Oct 2008, 14:44, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just who are their customers?



(don't know how to make it display ,sorry)
(EDIT: Thanks, mike woz ere!)
(dchurch bah, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 14:40, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

logging in
I'm having huge difficulties logging in to b3ta this week - not sure why. Every time I have entered my password and clicked 'log in' it reverts to the log in screen and tells me I'm not logged in. I've tried changing my password, and registering a second time, but neither seems to be working. I'll be amazed if this posts to be honest. Anyone else having this trouble? (ok, so if they are i guess they won't be able to post - this is very frustrating.)
( ascorbate, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 14:19, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need help with my CV

My job's going absolutely shit and I'm exploring options elsewhere so I can tell them where to stick it should the opportunity arise.

I know one of you B3teans offers a CV service, so stick your head above the parapet and gaz me.
(Chuckman, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 13:30, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)