An Open Letter to the Members of O/T - Feel Free to Thread Stomp (etc)
Hello. I used to be Edmund.

In the past I've had difficulty in separating fact from fiction but - as those in the know will be able to identify from my new user name - I am under treatment now and rightly ashamed of my past behaviours.

If anyone's interested, my current dose of SNRI is 375mg of venlafaxine, once daily, and current diagnoses include:

- adjustment disorder with major depressive episode
- borderline personality disorder
- atypical Aspergers syndrome

For the record:

1. The rumour that I had "gazzed" anyone an image of my genitals is a lie (to quote Churchill, "A lie can be half way around the world before the truth has got its boots on").

2. I spent forty days in late 2009 as a guest of HMPS (and it's not recommended) as a long, drawn-out consequence of my having a breakdown which lead to my second marriage and subsequent divorce: if anyone wants more information let me know

3. I have been to the Arctic - both Svalbard and Greenland - and I have man-hauled (e.g., dragging a sledge) but did neither for charity: anyone who was encouraged to donate to charity by me in the past (~2007/2008) can be reassured that at no time did I personally benefit from this

4. My own company continues to operate although with me in the background and I continue to work: we have ceased to support military charities and now support Mind, a mental health charity. I now split my time between academic work and research and development of models (mathematical / statistical, rather than any other sort associated with Honda Accords').

5. I am not back at b3ta trying to be flirtatious or seeking to have "dates" with people. I am now a 40-year old male, with a golden retriever and my own home and have become quite cynical of people and paranoid: indeed, as per Groucho Marx, "I would never be a member of any club that would have me as a member".

If anyone is interested or wants to ask me any questions, you're welcome to gaz me: if you want to write a longer note to me than fits in a gaz, send me a gaz and I will send you the best email address for me.

You are welcome to draw your own conclusions from me and my future behaviours but - as I do when I'm bringing friends into my social circle - I'm less concerned about peoples pasts and more concerned with their futures: in the future things can be done differently to the past.

Thank you for reading this far, and I apologise for the embarrassment and the ridiculousness that I have been responsible for in the past.

Craig
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:57, 166 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Haha, well spotted, wookiee.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

One post, gotta be some sort of a record, right?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Fucking inspired mate.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I've got to HAND it to you, this is a great thread.
It's warmed my heart during this Arctic weather. So big(amy) up yourself.

or you know fuck off you prick.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

someone screen shot this before he deletes and gaz to badger
I'm off home see you lot later.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Clarification
1. Never charged with bigamy: the unfounded allegations lead to an apology from Avon and Somerset Police

2. I pleaded guilty to a common assault of **** *** despite the fact that his evidence was not compelling and was directly contradicted by evidence from the doctor who treated him: in the interests of closure I have not pursued a private prosecution against him
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Why are you trying to defend yourself?
What do you hope to achieve?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Clarification
and that some of the many lies and salacious stories are shown for what they are: false.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I find it amazing you believe anyone but you cares.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Actually, no, hang on a minute.
There are a few people on this board who are geniunely a bit freaked out by you. A couple have said they were scared you'd stalk them. Your past, the fact that you lived some kind of double life and lied your way through a few years of your life will do that to people.

You're in the wrong place if you want sympathy; all you'll get here is ridicule and judgement. I do strongly suggest you give up any idea you might have that you can re-integrate with this particular society, punished, cured or whatever.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Stalking?
That's ridiculous.

I am simply fed up with my voyeuristic enjoyment of b3ta.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

People have specifically told me they are/were scared of you and what you might be capable of.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:15, Reply)

i'm fucking terrified of an inbound jet.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

unlike all your stories
Which were 100% guaranteed truth?
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

You invited a scouser to the operah
You spastic
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

I
don't recall having done so, but if I did then I hope I have apologised to the scouser in question.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:10, Reply)

you should apologise to the operah

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

so should you for your spelling of it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

pffft
He should have at least offered to take her to the Phil.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Accepted.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Exactamondo brother

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I fully believe this statement
"2. I pleaded guilty to a common assault of **** *** despite the fact that his evidence was not compelling and was directly contradicted by evidence from the doctor who treated him: in the interests of closure I have not pursued a private prosecution against him"

on the grounds that a criminal record for assault and 40 days in chokey are infinitely preferable to not having the closure that would come from my being vindicated and set free. Of course.
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Welcome back, glad you're doing better.
I am kind of wondering WHY you've decided you need to be on b3ta again though. And I don't really appreciate you calling my friends liars.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Your friends
if any of your friends have a "gaz" from me where they can prove the existence of an image of my genitalia then they're welcome to provide it.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:05, Reply)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:41, Reply)

I am SO glad I can't see what that is.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Hahaha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Yeah so.
If you find yourself having become quite cynical of people, you'd best just take the hint that you've become a caricature on here and forget b3ta all together. Or keep coming back and leaving again, we love a bit of drama.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Cynicism
I'm leaving my desk now but I'll pick this up later on this evening.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

This is my favourite sort of storm off
the "I'm just leaving now as I'm VERY BUSY IN REAL LIFE".

I suspect he's off to take photos of his penis which he will in no way send to girls on b3ta.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:11, Reply)

You
are welcome to your opinions.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Wait, is that a BAD THING now?
Oh man.
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:58, Reply)

Being used to the Arctic
I would expect a somewhat frosty reception.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Expected
and received. Thanks.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Serious qustion Craig.
Based on the 40 days you spent in clink, what was the hand-operation to being bummed in the showers ratio?

And was either more or less than the national average?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Thankfully
I received no molestation, from anyone.

I did teach (basic numeracy) however, and only had five of those days where I had nothing to do.
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Basic numeracy?
Such as..

1 wife plus 1 wife = 1 wife?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

See above.

(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Why on earth would we believe anything that you,
a self confessed fucking mentalist spastic cunt who permanently disabled a man whilst pretending to be a doctor, would post on a website populated by liars and evil cunts?

Why don't you just fuck off?

Unless of course this is a brilliant meta-troll pretending to be a self confessed spastic mentalist to drum up a bit of conversation!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Al: the voice of the people here

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Yeah, or fuck off or something.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

you should be a bit more concise and bold in your opinions though, al
i often have trouble deciphering your meaning
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Or was is more problem solving?
'If Edmund is given one slightly damaged hand, that could be easily repaired by a qualified member of the medical services, and works on it, how many permanently damaged hands are we left with AFTER he has worked his magic?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

This has to win todays internet at least

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Thanks very much.
With a POTD from Himjim too, I feel my efforts have been rewarded.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

POTD
Huge officelol.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

In regards to your text
GET ON IT I WILL BE LIVING IN THE LIBRARY COME VISIT THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAAAAR WITH ME PLZ
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

In regards to the other text
I don't think you could handle that much penis tbh.

Edit: At one time.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

Well you're a massive dick, at least.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

i fucking love that pub
wetherspoons or not. it always wins "best toilets in london", they are like 1 bed luxury flats those things!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

YES
the toilets are incredible. Himjim and I actually had a conversation about them, that's how cool we are
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

they are a bit unique!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

GOLD

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:12, Reply)

this must have quite literally made your day!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I love all this shit, so much better than a weekend lunchtime thread
It's moments like this that make up for trawlling through the 95% crap that gets posted.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:23, Reply)

there aren't enough mentalists it's true
hugs and food and sarcastic comments are not quite as good.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

You pretended to be a doctor and, oh, forget it!
I'm assuming you removed the image of your cock from the host site so that if any of the female b3tans attempt to post it, it will be a picture of your labrador.

Go run a marathon, you plazzy Dane.

I like Madame Butterfly the bestest, if the offer's still on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

he's not the only one who did that
the one who told me he was an oncologist and my friend with a dying mother should call him for advice was a peach. considering he was actually a failed mobile phone salesman.

not to mention the sister he made up and then killed off in a car crash.

there are some outstanding mentalists on here.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

They love us so much that they cannot leave
No matter how much ridicule they are subjected to
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

the ridicule is almost like the attraction it seems

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:23, Reply)

masochism innit
Craigs our very own pissboy
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

this made me laugh too much for someone with a mouthful of diet coke
bad rory
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Are you sure you're not Bert?

( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:15, Reply)

man, that would be a story
bert pretending to be edmund. Perhaps its someone else who flounced pretending to be bert pretending to be ed.

a mystery wrapped in an enigma
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I'm convinced
that all OT mentalists are actually bert
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Best thing to come back to after a long journey.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I do wish you'd saved his cock gaz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:21, Reply)

It was Becky who got the cock gaz
I just got pervy ones
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I stand corrected
I wonder if his penis stands corrected
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Dear lord, I do not want to think about that

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

mind bleach please

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Passed with my compliments

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

I'm pretty sure the cock gazzes were real
And that lots of this is crap.

It's like we've rewound a couple of years! Woo! I'm off to live the student life again.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:18, Reply)

375mg is awfully high for an SNRI
and perhaps I'm being overly naive, given that I wasn't here in Edmund's window licking days, but is it possible that he's better and wants to hang out here again and that we shouldn't all be so mean?

No?

Okay then.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:22, Reply)

you're far too pretty to risk that!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:23, Reply)

He's just jumped on her momentary weakness
and sent her a photo of his shrivelled penis.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

i read that as monetary weakness at first

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Haha!
I would share it round in a heartbeat if that were the case.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Evening berk.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Evening Jeff
I've just had an email off Oxford. I didn't get it :(
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

booooooooooooooo

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Indeed
I was pretty sure I hadn't, but there was still a tiny glimmer of hope. Lame :(
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Sorry to hear that mate.
Why not get drunk this evening instead?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Can't
got family round. I'll probably get drunk tomorrow, although it's more of a drowning-my-sorrows-alone type drunk I want to be, than a social one. Meh.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

I thought you were going to a house-party tomorrow night?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:39, Reply)

warning
sounds a little stalky, jeff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:40, Reply)

No it doesn't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:41, Reply)

memorising girls' plans and reciting them.....
.... it's not UNstalkerish!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Nah, he just puts up with a lot of my whinging, bless him

(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:47, Reply)

I am

(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Well get drunk in company, and consider other PhDs you can apply for.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Yeah, I know
I'm not really in the mood to get pissed in company though, and I really wanted that one. Oh well, nevermind.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

And so he sucks another one off in...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:24, Reply)

I just don't see the point in hounding him and being generally unpleasant
if he's still mental it'll soon become apparent and he'll end up on everyone's ignore list or flounce. If he's not, then he's getting a hard time for nothing.
*shrugs* it's a well known fact that sometimes I give people far too much benefit of the doubt.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Rocking up with denials of things that many of us know to be true, not to mention things that were reported in the national press,
isn't a great start to the "I'm-all-better-now-honest" campaign.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I truly want that to be the case
as much as I love a bit of drama, but he's "under treatment" as opposed to better, and not massively humble, seeking attention and forgiveness from a crowd of people he knows is going to lay into him. I don't see that as particularly healthy.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Oh well, you're probably right
forgive me if I don't join in the poke him with sticks campaign though. If he's still bonkers he'll no doubt flounce soon enough. (or I'll get a series of terrifying gazzes and publicly announce the error of my ways/judgement)
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:32, Reply)

No need for forgiveness, it makes you a better person than I.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Haha, oh I doubt that
I'm just being less judgmental in this instance.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:37, Reply)

you just want ti change the male/female ratio in your favour
I know your game.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:40, Reply)

If I were interested in sad internet weirdos
I would have asked you for a date a long time ago, however I've really never been that desperate.
(berk, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:51, Reply)

What about me?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

I can wait.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:32, Reply)

He's always giving out details of his medications since he first started posting
He must have a really shit Psychiatrist because he aint noted that Craig is a dangereous nutter no matter what boo-hoo meds he sticks him on
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Hello Edmund.
Can we still call you Edmund?
( thealternativefact, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:26, Reply)

You can't call me late for dinner, I'm just leaving the house!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Yay!
See you SOON!
( thealternativefact, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Can you contact the Daily Record and tell them that you're not "just an accountant"
I know this because you're not on the directory of members.

Ta.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

short, simple, damning and witty
i do love you

(your post wasn't bad either)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Thanks hon
now where do I send the cock gaz?

(I jest)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:32, Reply)

don't bother gazzing it
just post it and tell everyone it was from ed.

they'll never know.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Damn, I left my camera at home
i'll gaz you a photo of Lucy instead
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:37, Reply)

pussy shots instead?
go on then, i'll try anything once.

[insert huge list of disclaimers here, including cannibalism, heroin and sex in the front garden]

[edit 2 - that is a v cute cat]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:39, Reply)

I'm at a loose end gowan then
I promise not to post on board
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Normally at this point I post a pic of my chicken
but she's a hen, not a cock, and the joke is wearing thin
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:36, Reply)

I've seen that

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:45, Reply)

he does have a truly magnificent chicken

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Have you reference that against the directory of members
'Mentalist edition'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Even struck-off cock-gazzing Top-Gun-Mentalists
would be on there. It would say "Removed from register...for being a cock-gazzing top-gun-mentalist"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:35, Reply)

I have literally no idea what is going on.
You sound like a lovely man though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Yeah, you liked Roy Hodgson once upon a time!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Utter lies.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

I bet you like him these days.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:36, Reply)

Hello nut-job.
Don't worry, you probably still fit in with the other autisms.
You never GAZed anyone a Syncubus-style Pink Sock photo? Shame.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:45, Reply)

This is internet gold.
Who else isn't surprised that he's got Aspergers?


Bullshit beakering at it's finest. Makes me proud to be a b3tan.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

i love the fact that there's one post from a mentalist
and the thread rapidly outgrows all other threads within about 5 mins
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:49, Reply)

Dear Craig
I'm glad to hear that you're under treatment - I hope that works out for you. I can see why you're posting this - maybe you hope for some sense of closure and a possible reintegration into the b3ta community. However, you know very well that while we are very accepting of mentalists here - many b3tans are of the mentalist persuasion, in fact I'd go so far as to say most b3tans are more than slightly mentalist...anyway, I digress, we are accepting but the line in the ether-sand is drawn at big fat lies and creepiness.

You and I both know you've told more than your fair share of big fat ones and yes, you've done your penance for that in RL. But still, it will never sit right here because it will constantly be drawn to your attention and every new members' attention.
Every new female b3tan will be warned of your tendency towards creepiness - please don't try to deny this.


Above all you have been publicly humiliated in the national press - surely it's not good for your continuing improvements in mental health for you to subject yourself to further repeated humiliation which is sure to follow if you begin posting here again.

My advice - which I'm sure you won't take - is to go back to lurking. Enjoy the laughs here at a distance - don't make yourself the brunt of them.

Good luck.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I like this, if I wasn't such a bastard, this is what I'd have said.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Well, he never did anything or said anything untoward to me
But...I know he scared a fair few female b3tans and he's a proven liar.

All that said, he is suffering from mental health problems and I'd like to think that he's mad rather than bad - his illness causing his behaviour.

There for the grace of Whoever....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:30, Reply)

I'd go along with that
As per my post below.

Our man needs a degree of empathy, and perhaps some encouragement to take a hopefully less troubled persona to new pastures.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Exactly - he needs to move on for his own good
I'm all for having a laugh at trolls - I've even been one in my time...ahem...

But this man is unhealthy and needs to move on.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:22, Reply)

Not two months ago
You sent me a gaz which could only be construed as a "come-on" to someone that you may have perceived as vulnerable from a comment that I made.

I will cut you enough slack not to repeat the specific content of the gaz in case what you spoke about was true, but in view of your propensity to consider your personal history a blank canvas, I doubt if it was.

At that stage my profile wasn't gender-specific and as I'd only just returned to b3ta after a few months otherwise engaged, I strongly suspect that you took me to be female.

Ultimately, I'm not a judgemental person and your circumstances and history are of little concern to me. What IS of concern is that you clearly have - shall we say - predatory tendencies.

I don't know how you feel about my comments, or those raised above. If you feel like you're being ridden out of town on a metaphorical rail that wouldn't be inappropriate.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:58, Reply)

So? You're an Antartic Explorer?..... That don't impress me much.
You should take responsibility for what you've done, impersonating a medical personel is a really shitty thing to do, you could have lead to the deaths of loads of people.

Although if you can still get away with writing perscriptions, then gaz me up, we can make a fortune.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:58, Reply)

Arctic Gonz.
The top bit, he's nowhere near me. Which is good because I wouldn't want him noncing up my sexy midget nuns.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Uh uh uh uh
So ya, got the skis but have ya got the touch?
Now don't get me wrong you know I think it's all lies
But cock gazes don't keep me warm in the middle of the night.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Not even if you print them out and glue them to your duvet?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:43, Reply)

*nods*
Works for me.

But then the cock is unfeasibly large.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:24, Reply)

full size picture of monty?

(sanguine badger spirits in the room tickle you like a sneaky prawn, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Nope
Where's Agnostic Antichrist when you want him?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:24, Reply)

I shouldn't have laughed at this
because it meant that I knew the words.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I rather suspect this is just a very good imitation of him
surely it can't be serious?

If it is, then Edmund although I wasn't around for your mentalist days, from the viewpoint of protecting your own mental health I wouldn't recommend coming back here. It will not be forgotten, and to be honest I don't believe for one moment that your justifications will hold any sort of water as compared to what you did. Go and find a new website, or better yet concentrate on your new life and getting better.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:12, Reply)

If it's an imitation, it's a fucking brilliant one.
The detail is quite excellent.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:27, Reply)

I think this account was accused of being Edmund by someone a few weeks ago
It was a purple name for me, at least.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:32, Reply)

Even so, I think wookiee gets the points.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:36, Reply)

Can't remember who it was who called it first,
Roota I think
EDIT: An anonymous tipoff.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:37, Reply)

Might've been me actually
General Melchett I believe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:38, Reply)

This poster has definate Craig Colclough provenance, he comes with the certificate of mentalness and everything
He's *still* in denial the prick. Thankfully it's all risible. Unless of course you've been directly affected by his actions. Let's start with his first wife and kids that he abandoned in order to lead his Walter Mitty lifestyle. I don't think he ever acknowledges their existance. What a tosser.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:32, Reply)

Get bent fucktard
I'm the new mental in town so you can do one and fuck off back to narnia you nonce
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:43, Reply)

Hahahaaa
You make a fucking excellent mental bobby.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:03, Reply)

lol wot?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Breasts Broady.
I think he likes them in a wrong way.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:06, Reply)

i like breasts
is there a wrong way to like them? I suppose liking them with a cheese grater would be a bit wrong.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:10, Reply)

That's the kind of wrong I'm talking about.
I also like breasts, and like you, I like them the RIGHT way. With no cheese graters involved.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:12, Reply)

*jumps on bandwagon*
Internet gold!
Feck off you creepy cunt bubble.
Blousie concurs LOL :D
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:01, Reply)

an informative link
www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Craig_Colclough
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:15, Reply)

Why are you back on b3ta??
You've said why not, I reckon you should have a hard look at why and maybe integrate your conclusions into any therapy you are having for the borderline personality disorder (which a lot of people think is not curable with medication - it's kind of a "just a bit of a manipulative asshole" diagnosis from what I've understood). And your language suggests lies.. if you didn't gaz a pic of your cock, I'm guessing you gazzed someone's cock picture. It's fucking hilarious but very wrong at the same time.

Couldn't resist joining in here. Kinda banned myself from /offtopic after finding people don't like me (for different reasons to you, I hope) but love lurking here and /talk (more often /talk these days), where I just lack the wit to join in much. You should go back to lurking too, for the good reasons in other posts above.

Hope you're comfortable getting screengrabbed and stuck in the archive..
(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Oh man, how did we hound you off here, I don't remember that?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 19:58, Reply)

He kept pestering people for pictures of themselves as kids, particularly under the age of 6
He was most specific about the age limit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:01, Reply)

Wow, that's kinda sexy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

Yeah ok, there's a fair bit I regret about this thread but that beats it all.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

Might you possibly have been Mr R.Luxuryyacht once?
If so, I owe you a big apology.

If not - ignore this post.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:03, Reply)

Isn't it a pain the arse when people keep changing their names?
I was just looking at my gaz list in the archives and discovered that I've had long discussions with people I thought were new because I didn't recognise the name!

People - it's not fair on the elderly to do this!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:19, Reply)

I just realised he gazzed me once
Not cock pictures though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:24, Reply)

I've always been The Disappointed.
It's a badge of (dis)honour.

I did a poster once known as Raymondluxuryyacht a big dis-service once. I feel bad about it and sort of hoped that Alfonsobongo might have been him (similar style) so that I could make amends.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 20:30, Reply)

Just seen this
In case anyone sees this then you're right about who I was. But I don't think I'm suited to these boards anyway (still can't help being a creepy lurker, mostly on /talk). Doubt I'd have stuck around.
(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 20:24, Reply)

FFS
you are so not "rightly ashamed of my past behaviours".

You say that and then just go on to say "see, I was telling the truth" whilst conveniently omitting many salient facts such as the documented bullshit you have come out with which seems to have had a negative impact on a few people's lives.

You are not an innocent victim. And whatever meds you are on, whatever diagnoses made, you are still very obviously far from seeing yourself as anything other than a misunderstood victim and unrecognised genius and humanitarian.

If you feel truly contrite about your past, less of the "I do this brilliant work and I support these charities" and more of the "I am a bigamist and have injured others whilst claiming to be a doctor which I am not". Preferably said to your therapist and yourself.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 2:15, Reply)