First thread of the day.
I thought I should make it exciting, intellectual and thought provoking, and then I thought nah! I'll just call you all a bunch of cunts.


CUNTS!!!

Wassup!
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:21, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Meat.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:36, Reply)

You're too confusing for the mornings
Did you see sushi has been pushed back a week so hopefully you can come and I can sit next to you and giggle at all your hillarious jokes
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Well I am hillarious.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I added the extra L to make it more hill-like. Like you are

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

*whistles innocently*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:11, Reply)

hang on
I'm puzzled. Is this actually Noel?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Oh god I hope not
I can't stand him and would hate to have accidentally invited him anywhere
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Looks like you're in for a shit evening then.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

*Looks at Noal and Noall*
But, which one's the evil one?
*Shoots both 82 times each just to make sure*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Are you coming to Sushi if you get a job in London?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I would come at some point, yes
But I haven't finished updating my CV yet, so actually getting a job there might not be for a while. Also I'm pondering other places.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

lame

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

There's a goddamn position available in the motherfuckin' PENTAGON
Although I'm 99% sure, as an upstanding citizen of the British Isles, they'll tell me to fuck off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I only work at places with an even number of sides

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I have no comeback for this.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

if you want my comeback
you should check inside your mother.

/recycled
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

"I'd scrape if off your face"
One of my favourite QOTW posts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Why?
Are you too much of a raging bender for London?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Considering they let you live there
I'd have to be a woofter of epic proportions to not be allowed in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)

woofter of epic proportions Darth
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

yeah, and then you'd have to get a job in Norwich

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

*applauds*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I think NakedAl down the bottom of the thread isn't Al either....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

You see, they've got the concept wrong.
You replace an entire vowel with the word "al".

So you could become Valpros or Viprals.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I would have gone with Valpros
mine doesn't work so well though, if you are looking to confuse people
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Dr Hillarious?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

As a veggie you will never know the joy of waking up to the smell of bacon:
www.mathlete.com/portfolio/wakeNbacon.php
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:43, Reply)

She's not a real veggie anymore

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I used to eat red meat you noggin.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)

red throbbing meat right in the face

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)

what I want to know
is why can you have a longer username than you can sig
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Do you really want to know this
or are you just envious of his length?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Because there's no limit of username length but there is on sigs
OBVIOUS ANSWER IS OBVIOUS
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I understand the technicality of it you spastic
I want to know why that is the case.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

because rob works in mysterious ways

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

well he is a ginger who has/had long hair
why anyone would do that is certainly a mystery
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Morning, cunt.
I had something that once claimed to be animal for breakfast this morning, it wasn't too bad. Brown sauce improved it, anyway.

Also, I'm highly amused at the rantings of a deranged Scottish man, complaining about 'lucky to be on the pitch', and all that shite. Very very funny. (Yes, I'm talking about football)

How are you?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

yo bad self.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Psyched!

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Dope.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Fresh.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Fo Sho

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Shizzle my nozzle.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

No fucking chance you big queer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Good morning miss Blouse
I am randomly full of joy today, despite being up since 5.30am. I am full of homemade museli and a fresh beverage awaited me on arrival to work. A good start I feel.

To counteract this, I have to go to Hartlepool this afternoon.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Could be worse
...no, sorry, I can't back that up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Morning Darth
Have you seen Fergie's rantings about Luiz? Fucking hilarious, considering his comments considering Shrek's elbow.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Morning our kid
Hadn't seen them, thank you for directing me that way. The man's hypocrisy knows no bounds. He knows his players would've had a massive boost from beating Chelsea and now he can see their heads dropping and Arsenal catching them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Except Sunderland are playing Arsenal next
Oh, wait....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I actually think Arsenal's injury problems and fixture congestion will do for them
They're practically in the last eight of the Champions League after all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

It's fantastic, isn't it?
Also, isn't it a rule now where if you full on criticise a referee, it's a fine and a ban?

"You want a fair referee - or a strong referee, anyway - and we didn't get that," said Ferguson. "When I saw who the referee was I did fear it. I feared the worst."

Chances of him getting any puncishment whatsoever? Looooooow
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:43, Reply)

What he said about the media witch-hunting Rooney after his elbow was very clever
Forced the media to go round in circles. Still fucking ridiculous though, any remotely honest man would have said "the boy's a prick, I can't believe he got away with that". Makes you wonder what a Man U player has to do to get sent off. He'll be going into tackles tooled up at this rate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Isn't that Chelsea players?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)

In fairness to the Mancs, I think it was very funny last night
Every time Ashley Cole got the ball, they were all shouting 'Shoot!'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Hahaha
Genius
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Loath as I am to admit it
That really made me laugh when I read about it
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Ahh, it'll be fine actually
A nice 80 miles round trip and about an hours work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Just don't open your eyes the whole time you're there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

This could make the drive "slightly" more difficult

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

What's your SatNav for?
Make it earn its keep
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I like your thinking, young man

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I like your decription of me as young

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Relative innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Are we?
By local law that means we have to mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I'm a giver, not a taker

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)

The spirit of Christmas

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Cunts.
Fucking seething, I am, today. Fucking shitting cunting fucking ex fucking bitch cunt arsehole.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

so same as every day?
I think you only need post your mood if it's unusual, like say for example youa re only midly annoyed. Or - god forbid - happy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I think
the chances of me ever being 'midly' annoyed are somewhat slim.

I'm sorry I'm not happy. Sorry about that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Well at least you're sorry about it

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I'm sorry about you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

what has she done now?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I bet she pissed through his letterbox

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I bet she shat in a paper bag, set it on fire, left it on his doorstep, rang the bell and ran away

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

*Brings back childhood memories*

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Poor old Pookie,
stuffed into a bag, set fire to and stamped on as a child.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I paid a lot of money for it though.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Just more ill-mannered cuntiness, inflexibility and rudeness.
You don't want to know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I still recommend destroying her.
not with your penis though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

You're wrong
He should totally have another kid with her, then he has to look after his daughter when the bitch's in hospital with the second.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

where were you yesterday hmm?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Driving my folks to Heathrow
Why?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

idle curiosity

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Paranoia...tingling
But not enough to trawl through yesterdays threads.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

At one point
I said I'd like to see you have a fight with a barbecue, if that helps.

Everyone lolled liked mad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

No you didn't
Stop lying to try to make yourself look cool.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

He did
It's the laughing he's lying about
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)

She's marrying an Eastern European.
An unemployed one.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

*Monty walks into the room*
"GNAH I AM SO GOSH DARN ANGRY !"
*Audiance laughs*
"MY EX IS A FUCKING BITCH AND I'M GOING TO CUT OUT HER CUNT WITH A CHAINSAW, BLINDFOLDED"
*Audiance whoops and hollars*
Gonz: "What's up Montstar? Are you alright"
*Audiance 'woooo's *
Mont: "No, my ex is a fucking bitch, she's only gone and [whatever she's done]"
Gonz: "Calm down Monts, have a nice glass of yop"
*Monty has a glass of yop and calms down*
Gonz: "That's better !"
Mont: "Oh fuck yeah', the cool calming embrase of Yop down the gullet. Thank's Gonz, I'm much better now"
Gonz: "No worries mate"

He's Moonty, and that's Goonzo, the angriest and friendliest guys you know !
He's Moonty, and that's Goonzo, welcome to our sit-com show !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Are you on Yop commission?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Gotta be funnier than 'Miranda'.
I reckon this could be a hit show.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I find Crimewatch to be funnier than Miranda

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Do you play Psychochomp bingo while you watch?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Hahaha!
Look, there he is again!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Crimewatch is funnier than quite a lot of things.
Most things, really.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

My piles are funnier than Miranda

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Cunts.
I just got back to uni from a funeral. I had a truck tail gate me for 50 kms. I flipped him the bird as he overtook me, even though I knew it wouldn't be seen.

I'm now eating cake to feel better.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

gesticulating at people is one of the best things about driving
you ok?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

been better, but I feel better for going then I did just considering staying up at uni and missing it.
I'm glad I went. Was full of people - at least 500 people where there, pretty much standing room only.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Was there a buffet?
My funeral is going to have a buffet. Al won't be invited, of course he'll die before me anyway
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

If Al lives longer - he's gonna eat the whole buffet before anyone can even see that it's there.
There was, but I wasn't in the mood to eat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

he'll have already eaten the cadaver though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

waffer thin meeeent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

this images amuses me greatly

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Careful now, have you not seen the movies?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

what movies?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Free Willy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Duel
Joy Ride

Something else...there are a few where the truck driver murders some innocent person.

Also for you, see Wolf Creek
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

ahhh fuck Wolf Creek is terrifying.
I've watched it once. ONCE. I had nightmares for ages.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I had a dream last night that a guy from work had an afro
and that someone had shot a massive hole through it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

very much like that
but it was a complete hole, with hair all round it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Excellent!
A good look
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

sounds like something out of those looney tunes things.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Exactly!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Anal Future 9?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Don's Donkey Dick 7

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I like to entertain myself when being tailgated
by left foot braking whilst accelerating
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I did *just* slow enough to piss him off.
He tried to over take me in a lane that was far too small, so I zipped in front before he could run me off the road.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Last time I tried left-foot braking I almost nutted the steering wheel.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

It is a bit hard to do without doing that!
Just a touch puts the lights on!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Last time I tried I was in a go kart
Never tried in my car, sounds dumb.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Softly, softly
catchy tailgater
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Tugnut's Tailgaiter Tip for 2011.
Keep low denomination loose change in your ashtray. When some twunt decides to tailgate you and won't back off, lower your window and drop a handful of coins out (use as much discretion as you care to - if you want a fight be really obvious, if not just drop them over the side.). Coins land on the road, bounce up and make loud noises under the bastards car and often do make wonderful scratches all down the side panels.
If you do this carefully they will not know what caused it and will pull over to ispect the damage, thus leaving you to continue your journey safely and with a mega-croissant level of smugness after a righteous victory over twatdom.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Quality tip!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

What about the many pricks who populate the board?
They aint feelin the love BGB
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Never really been on board Rory.
What's it like?
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

*wiggles eyebrows*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

They all have facial ticks?

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I read your reply as having never been on board Rory
and you were asking for a go
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:43, Reply)

BGB's just playin'

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I'm always the fool.
Aren't I Rory?
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Yer

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:00, Reply)

And now it becomes clear.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

my friend the dating demon had another date last night
she was most excited about this one as there had been a couple of long phone calls and many emails and texts. at about 11pm she rang me and opened with the immortal words:

"he had a hare lip, sweetie. and i had to KISS it."

poor guy, but i think it's the hardest i've laughed all year.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I had to pretend laughter was choking then damn you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Did she not see a pic of him first?

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

She couldn't see the hare lip as it was obscured by a green-tipped cock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Talented guy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:44, Reply)

It's all in the angle....apparently

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I think Al nearly drowned in flab last time he tried

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Last time he tried, half of Haiti was destroyed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Has he been to New Zealand lately?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:56, Reply)

No but he did sit down quite heavily that day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Reckon Al looks like this after every meal?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:17, Reply)

one word
MOUSTACHE-BEARD
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

one word
two-words
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

that isn't one word
even if you hyphenate it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

it is an all over facial hair thing

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

That's called a 'beard', dear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)

so a beard includes a moustache?
i didn't think that was the case.

hmmmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

it does
and I should know
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

This makes me feel sad, for some reason.
Poor sod.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Isn't it horrible that Swipey and her friends are so disgustingly shallow
and yet conversley spend all their time bitching that "There are no decent men out there". I think if they took the time to look harder, they would realise that the problem actually lies with them.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

trying again
don't be absurd, how could the problem possibly lie with them?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I don't think a hare lip would put me off but then again I've been out with a ginger so I'm used to deformaties.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Best shag of my life was with a ginger girl
Didn't date her though, does that count?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

"best shag of your life" ?
at your young age? ha, you have NO IDEA yet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Of my life so far, yes.
And every time I put myself forward for any of your desperate friends, you simply point out they'd 'break me'.

Bring it on, I say.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Its a good way to go

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)

that's her way of saying that you don't meet the criteria
you're not a minted Adonis.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)

That's fine by me
But I still think I could be up for the challenge, haha.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)

this is where you are wrong
it really does lie with them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

"Oh but hun, you'll find someone one day who'll accept you for you, you're a wonderful person, it's just that I'm not the right kind of girl for you."

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)

yes, i felt a bit bad esp as he was really keen
but when i said that i felt sorry for him, she said "it was WITHERED."

and i laughed at her all over again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Its OK, from a distance it looks like a rabbit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Rabbit, you say?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Eeek!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

That's Swipey's favourite picture
She loves seeing it everywhere, so feel free to post it as often as you can.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)

feck orf

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)

This could be the start of a roll
coming up next the man whose side profile shot didn't reveal HIS PORT WINE STAIN
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:44, Reply)

guy from where I work on my secondment has just said
"I wonder why Hitler didn't think of using poisonous snakes instead of gas chambers"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Do you work with John Galliano?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I do not
he went on to say that he'd rather be shot as being bitten by a snake would be frustrating
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)

'I love Hitler'
What a wizard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)

He made all those people disappear.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Now that's magic.
*thumbs up*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Of course.
The soldiers would coax the poor prisoners in the chambers with promises that the poisonous snakes were going to wash them clean.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)

The jews woud still be queing up to be bitten if they used ssnakes
But then they could have a good natter.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 9:55, Reply)

They'd probably extract oil from them and sell it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Under the brand name "Joil"

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)

'Greasing the wheels of government from behind the scenes since 3000 BC'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:03, Reply)

...and spreading disease.
Don't forget that.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)

...and eating Christian children who've been naughty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I saw something that quite amused me last night
Not sure if you'll think the same though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:15, Reply)