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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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YESSSSSSS!!!! It's Monday Morning!!!!!11!!!
Wow, I'm just raring to go. Not really, I'm wanked, as I didn't go to bed until 2pm yesterday afternoon. What joys does the week ahead hold for you, you mong-faced Deacon?

Alt: Who am I? I am a small European principality, I have borders with Estonia and Wales. My national dish is revolting, and I have a population of 120. Sven, you have control of the game.

Alt alt: Tell me about your weekend, if you fucking have to. I'll even pretend to be interested if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:26, 200 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
It's a tree-point question!
You're back in play.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:28, Reply)
The category is sport. Select.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:29, Reply)
So why did you stay up 'till 2pm?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:30, Reply)
I had a visit from the doctor.
Dr Ugs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:34, Reply)
I saw him on Saturday evening too.
I got a free check up as it was my birthday.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:47, Reply)
My first dose was free
but I foolishly collected a repeat prescription at 3am, which carried a hefty price tag.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)
I'm actually in a really fucking good mood.
Today is my first full day off in over a month. I woke up early just to savour it more. On Wednesday I am going to a gig I've had tickets for for months, and on Friday I'm going to see BB. This is going to be a good week.

Also, my sleeping seems to be slightly on it's way to sorting itself out. Sorry to hear about yours being fucked though.

Alt alt: My weekend was pretty fucking gash. I worked and did filing. Yesterday I was in work for 14 hours.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:37, Reply)
You're going to see Brian Blessed? Smart.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:40, Reply)
So Monty, why no sleep?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)
Massive drugs obviously

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)
Morning Al.
What do you reckon to this then? bit.ly/hMdzxR
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)
I think he's right.
Having spent Saturday night in the company of a woman struggling to get a small business going, and hearing how the bank refused to lend her £150 - for 24hrs whilst confirmed Paypal transactions cleared - I know how stingy the banks are.

However, Cameron is a full-of-shit cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)
Isn't it terrible that all those people you meet in the pub are such Grade A entrepreneurs
and the banks are so stingy. It's the same thing when you get into a cab, that man shouldn't be driving a cab, he should be running the country.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Everyone in my pub wants to be in charge of immigration policy.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Someone needs to be, someone not in the last government.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Given that they don't know the difference between immigrants and asylum seekers
I wouldn't give any of them the job.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Neither does Monty
that's why he just posted what he did.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
The asylum numbers are negligible
but it is an strange thought that someone utterly desperate to escape from an oppressive African country would feel the need to get to the northwestern tip of Europe to seek help rather than the nearest 'safe' country.

I take issue with the legal economic migration from shitholes in eastern Europe far more than a few Somalians, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)
It IS strange isn't it,
I can't imagine what is going through those silly little darkies heads when they finally manage to get out of those countries where actually expressing an opinion can lead to you being arrested, tortured and the murdered by the government.

Why would they even consider that they should aim for a country where, should be allowed to stay, they will be giving the best chance for themselves and their families.

Silly darkies.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)
They really are.
What's wrong with Switzerland?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I actually made a sign at work
Explaining the difference between the two, because I'm sick of "....those fucking asylum seekers, coming over here and taking our jobs" or "...those fucking illegal immigrants, coming over here and being showered in benefits!".
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)
It was Lusty's best friend who has her own toymaking company.
Not quite sure what the point you are trying to make here - is it that this woman is some kind of liar?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Monty, banks loan to make money
if you are running a company and it has cashflow problems but generally your company is healthy most banks would allow you to set up an overdraft, but it will cost you and is unlikely to be set up overnight. Banks don't just throw money at people at short notice.

If you suddenly need £150 for 24 hours then WONGA.com would probably be a better option.

But this is all by the by since the article is about civil servants and has nothing to do with banks.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)
*goes to wonga.com*
She borrowed it off a friend, by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)
Don't its a fucking rip off.
(well in nearly all circumstances, there are some times it's useful)
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)
It's only about 3500% interest, isn't it?
I have a cheque for 10k to bank this morning, so I'm OK for now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Well yeah it's fixed charge like £20 for every £100
or some cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Yah', but if the Nintendo 3DS comes out on the 26th and payday is on the 28th and you know if you don't get it on the first day it'll sale out and you won't be able to get it 'till the 3rd of April,
then you can borrow £250 (got to get a couple of games with it), then you can pay back £290 when you get paid instead and thus not have to wait two weeks for it to come out and end up being laughed at in the school playground.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Yeh', but say you've borrowed a key of coke for a houseparty off a dealer for three grand, hoping to sale it on for £50 a gram....
... making a prophet of two grand, but the party comes along and you get wasted and end up giving it all away and now the dealer is going to get a gang of jamacans to smash your backdoor in who'll pay the dealer £100 per person (thus being 20 goes until the debt is paid), then you can go to Wonga.com and borrow £400 for 30 days and pay back £525 under 5 different names/accounts (the extra £400 is to pay for the new Nintendo 3DS and some games) and thus get to play Street Fighter IV 3D on release day _and_ keep your bumhole's integraty intact.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)
There is a driver where I used to work who is just one exam away from being a "heart doctor", he needs £12k to take the exam, and has been studying for ten years.
When he picks up old ladies from big houses, he tells them that he is driving a cab to pay for the exam, even though he drives 7 days a week.

When I told him my father died of a "Massive cardiac arrest", he said "Oh, that's very terrible", ok, fair enough, I then said he had "a quard-droople bypass in his 50s", he asked me what that was.

I still see him every few months when I order a cab and he picks me up, I swear, if he gives me medical advice, I'm going to the police.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
But I should point out
that a bank not lending someone £150 is nothing to do with that article.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)
As part of the whole 'small businesses get fucked over' subject
it's marginally relevant.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Nope, you're talking about banks addressing the cashflow of a small business
which may be a problem, but since banks got into this mess by lending to businesses that weren't viable, they are now being extra cautious about lending.

The article is about businesses being able to bid for government contracts and that somehow "bureaucrats" are preventing them. Which is just stupid, the fact that small businesses can't guarantee to provide the service that large government contracts require is what's stopping them winning the contracts.

They could of course band together with other small companies, but then you end up creating a large company.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Your astute political acumen led to your voting for Nick Clegg
which means you are a dimwit whose opinions are liable to be nonsense.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Your astute political acumen
led to you never voting at all, and therefore your opinion is entirely irrelevant. If you're not prepared to put your rhetoric into practice then any criticism you level at any party can be easily dismissed because you didn't do anything to try and change it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)
There was not a party I could feel comfortable voting for.
The fact that there is no 'none of the above' box to tick and thus I felt unable to make my opinion felt does not mean my views, as opposed to those of some utter mug gulled by a cheesy and dishonest televised debate, should be dismissed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Spoil your ballot slip then

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Soil your underpants then

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Unless there is a political party called the "Monty Boyce Party"
which stands purely for only the things you want it to stand for, then every vote is always compromise, it's not an excuse for not voting. If you really don't want to vote for anyone then you could always go and spoil your ballot paper, at least that shows engagement in the process.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Serious question:
if you spoil your paper does that not mean you just get lumped in with the senile pensioners who've ticked all of them because they are mental etc?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)
And why would this be out of the norm for you?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)
I'm just checking that I'd be representing with my menkle niggaz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)
It's also that the banks don't like low risk low reward loans.
She'd get more options for a £20k 5 year loan rather than a quicky.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Well it's true isn't it,
entrepreneurs don't like following planning codes paying taxes and all that. Doesn't mean they shouldn't have to do it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)
The first point is bollocks
The second point is probably true, but the third is just stupid, a large business is almost always going to be able to offer lower costs than several smaller companies.

Other than that, it's a Tory PM making statements entirely in line with Tory ideology. Quelle suprise?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)
I love this part:
"I know some people are disdainful about [selling Britain to the world]," he said.

"They see me loading up a plane with businesspeople and say: 'That's not statesmanship, that's salesmanship'. I say this: attack all you want, but do you think the Germans and the French and the Americans are all sitting at home waiting for business to fall into their lap?"

He loaded a fucking plane with arms dealers and took them to Egypt.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:56, Reply)
Good place to take them I'd have thought.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)
s'true
I'm slightly torn about the "defence" industry. On one hand, making things designed expressly to kill people isn't very nice, but on the other, people are always going to want to buy weapons and therefore we might as well get a piece of the pie.

What I'm not convinced about though is if these arms companies actually benefit the UK economy overall as they get a lot of their money from government contracts, so it's not really new money.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I can't help but think
if some bunch of nutcases want to machine-gun their own citizens or whatever they're hardly going to write the idea off if we refuse to sell them our guns.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)
I just thought it was a very interesting way of putting it.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)
They're not actually much use to the economy
the reason they're so loved by governments around the world is that it ring fences a load of highly skilled labour in the country which they don't want to lose.
The problem is their cost/benefit is a lot worse now than when you were hiring mainly machinists and skilled welders.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:10, Reply)
You've pretty much summed it up there
not a nice business, but it does bring in money, if not quite as much as we would like
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Lusty's birthday night out (to a truly dire nightclub),
followed by 'back to mine'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Oh dear.
Did she have fun?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:52, Reply)
She did indeed.
We all did, despite the shitness of the club.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)
So it's worth feeling a bit shite today then?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)
Well worth it, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)
Glad she had a good time
I meant to make it down, but given the work I ended up doing I might as well have.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Weekend was alright actually.
Friday went to the pub, saturday went round a mate and watched the godfather, Sunday cooked a roast for some mates.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Weekend spent with DG, Tourettes and team awesome.
Bloody marvellous.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:53, Reply)
WOO
I am knackered now though but totally worth it *dances*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:55, Reply)
Did you beat Labs at STOBART?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Technically yes, morally no as I started playing about 2 hours before he got in the car.

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Woo for moral victories!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Weekend was shite, and left me seriously out of pocket
Week ahead will therefore also be shite, as will the two weeks after until payday.

Pet rat probably being put down in next 48 hours. Ms Foxtrot is borderline inconsolable about this.

Oh, and Forest lost at the weekend.

Thank you for asking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)
Shit shit shit!
Fucking hell darling, you OK?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)
It's lovely of you to ask :-)
Am trying to deal with it so the better half can grieve but can't stop thinking about it. Almost glad to be at work to try and take my mind off it.

Good news about BB, how long are you going down for?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)
Until Tuesday.
Why was Blackpool so awful? Oh, how did the playlist go down?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:03, Reply)
Minibus didn't have an aux in port so I was stuck listening to a CD of musicals the other driver and her girlfriend compiled
which was not the best start. Judges didn't see fit to mark us. Flying Handbag was fun though. Drive back the next day was not!

Sorry, am dwelling on boring stuff which isn't going to get me anywhere. I assume you haven't served the boy with a restraining order from your brain then? ;-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Ugh, I wish I could.
He's stuck there. Like some kind of sexy squatter :(

I can't believe you couldn't listen to your playlist, the absolute bastards. I hope you intend to complain.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Sadly I am currently suffering from a massive wave of abject apathy
I shouldn't complain, I now have little or no need to see Legally Blonde: the musical.

A word of warning for your visit to Brighton; if he's Vegan, I'm assuming that he is, like yourself, a skinny bugger. Be careful that when you two are doing the rubbing against each other thing, you don't accidentally start a fire

/waistline envy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Pfft
I can definitely not be described as 'skinny' at the moment. I might have to just not eat until Friday. That sounds like a good idea actually.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)
You might find yourself somewhat lacking in energy for the weekend
which is something I assume you'll be keen to have
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
I'll eat on Friday
And drink lots of Lucozade.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)
Lucky boy
It'll be like shagging the Duracell bunny
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)
Nah, I'm laying off the Red Bull.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)
*tries to think of less reputable brand of battery manufacturer*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Everready
fnarr fnarr
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
For BB, I would be
Damn boy is insanely hot. And nice. And.... fucking stuck in my brain. Shitfrank.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)
How fucking dare he be nice AND hot
Women don't want those things

Do they?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:44, Reply)
How dare he be nice AND hot
And live stupidly far away!
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
Yeah that is a bit of a stumbling block
Just enjoy your long weekend and see how you feel at the end of it :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Shag-happy, I hope.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)
You never know, he might be hung like a squirrel
or phenomenally bad at cunnilingus, thereby making your decision easier
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
Achem. I know the former isn't true.
As for the latter, we shall have to see. Although it would make my life easier if he was a crap lay.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)
I actually hope you have a fantastic time down there
and I'm pleased to see you're taking precautions re: assurances of girth
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:09, Reply)
It's better to be safe than sorry.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Haha, that sounded so sarcy.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:11, Reply)
Luckily I know Bella well enough to know that it wasn't

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)
It really wasn't!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I know, just messin' =)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)
You are Monty AICMFP

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:02, Reply)
I get to wind up the writing, gnashing masses of retards here, complaining about the football
That'll only be for today, but it'll keep me happy for a while.

Alt: A benny.

Alt Alt: Very little happened, aside from an argument with a mate on a night out, whom I then told to go fuck themselves, and left. Seems you had an entertaining one though!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)
Are you fucking kidding me?
"Very little happened", apart from your boys giving Man Utd a shoeing? Lose ten Red Points!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)
To Monty, that counts for nowt
As I say, I'm simply enjoying winding them up today.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Good point
Easiest hat-trick in the history of football?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Aye, likely
Suarez deserves all credit for the first though
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Yeah he was superb
Looks very much like exactly the sort of player your lot need, defences can't handle him. Was hilarious to see Van der Sar peg it over to the ref to claim offside, he couldn't deal with how utterly his defence had been done
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Van der Sar
was rubbish. Rubber gloves or something
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)
My next door neighbour was GLESSing all over the place about this as he is a red.
I wish to smug Bob 0-0, in your face
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)
How the juddering fuck your lot got a draw at the weekend I'll never know

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Sunderland normally do well against Arsenal, amazingly enough
MOTD failed to show about 5 chances for us apparently
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Ah, well that is my entire basis for the judgement
Have to admit I was hoping they'd get the win, only because of my desire to see anyone other than Man Utd be crowned champions
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)
They still gained 1 point on them.
Liverpool at home next for us lot. Where we always get beat...
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)
We've got Arsenal
would I like to do the double over them? Yes, yes I would. Sod the title race.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Fancy that depends on how they do tomorrow night
If they get stuffed, which I think we all know they will, your lot will get both barrels. Superb result for your boys on Saturday though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)
They have found some definite form of late, and Carroll would love to open his account against the Mackems
So you might be in for a shoeing I'm afraid. We pissed away our 35-game unbeaten home run on Saturday, it'll take a remarkable reversal of fortune to avoid the playoffs now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)
weekend was good....I spent it at home. Sleeping.
Think I'm gonna go home on thursday night after classes are over and gonna sleep well for a couple of nights before coming back for classes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)
I went dan tha dogs in Wombledon
Left with the same amount of money i went in with due you so top notch betting, effectively drank for free.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Monty, I was wondering, can I borrow Lusty for this?
www.firebox.com/product/2505/USB-Snakescope-Camera?via=cat
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Has she got a blocked sink?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)
I hope so, I can't think of any other use.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
My week is currently in the negative joy stakes
Alt: It was boring. Out of interest Monty do you possess any of those Antonia Forest novels you were talking about?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)
I do not. Was I talking about them?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Ages ago
I've been trying to buy them having only read one, but they're about seventy pounds apiece and tend to have been stolen from most libraries
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)
Which antonia forest books?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Marlow family books
I've been searching, but I'm not willing to pay twenty pounds for the most recent reprint, or eighty pounds for the 1970 version. I'm too poor for that
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)
May wish to trawl this site.
www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/SearchResults?an=antonia+forest&bi=0&bx=off&ds=30&n=200000169&recentlyadded=all&sortby=17&x=56&y=9

knowing book titles will help and not worrying aboiut time scale or condition.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Yeah had a good look
sadly the way I work with books is an unwillingness to buy modern (unauthorised) editions especially for inflated prices. I'd pay a fiver for the newer editions, (and could get Autumn Term for that) but the rest are beyond my price-range.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:50, Reply)
I always think more on the lines of getting a readable copy immediately and saving for a desirable.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)
This week looks to be boring
But the weekend was awesome! Great company, lovely food and lots of laughs make for a happy Labs.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)
It was an omgba55h wasn't it?
How was it, anyone make a fool of themselves?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)
More a small gathering, not an official bash
It was grand thanks, but nobody made a fool of themselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Two b3tans in a pub is still an OMGBASH0RZZ!
If you think that it means you made a fool of yourself you know.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)
He did
he put a hat on, stood in a bath, applied some lipstick and then posted a photo of himself on facebook.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)
How can I block his account without looking at his profile picture?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)
You're the second person to comment on the lipstick
I wasn't wearing any, don't think it looks like I am, so am confused.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Lies on the internet
You so are.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Not on my face anyway.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I wasn't talking about your face
I love that hat, by the way.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Thank you, it belongs to DG
I liked it.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:44, Reply)
You should have totally stolen it.
It suits you.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)
I am not Barry from Eastenders
And I hand you back your five pounds you dropped.
I prefer my trilby, but was surprised that some people think that hat suited me, so thanks again!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I can't be arsed Facebook stalking to find out myself
Is there a picture of your trilby on there?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)
I was only repeating what somone else said
with the aim of upsetting and embarrassing you.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Well that's very mean of you Al

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)
... you've met Al right?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Yes
He wasn't as fat as I thought he'd be.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)
That means I have one of them nearly every week...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)
The week will involve stuff. College and food and exciting things.
The weekend was excellent, apart from being knackered the whole time. Went round the British Museum on Sat and got to pretend I knew what I was talking about. It was well fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)
I love the British Museum so, so much

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:43, Reply)
Mostly greek stuff.
Did the Elgin Marbles, the ajoining rooms, and some bits of Greek and Alexandrian art. Followed by my favourite room, the Enlightenment Room.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Elgin marbles :D

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)
Mhm.
The muscles and bones and veins! Oh my!

It just did feel like someone liked horses. A lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Probably a proto-b3tan
edit: next time I come to London I'm going to drag you there, whether you want to or not /threat
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:47, Reply)
No need to drag me, I'll be there with bells on.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
As will I,
You will find me wanking next to the Suttoo Hoo helmet or the Battersea Shield.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)
Museum bash. It's to be done.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
it would weed out the unworthy

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:59, Reply)
"Who's that?"
"Erm... Venus?"
"WRONG! This is a Greek statue, therefore Venus wasn't around, it'd be Aphrodite. And look at what it's holding, a lyre and a bow and arrow. It's obviously Apollo. Lose a million points for 'failing to tell the difference between a girl and a girly man'".
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
'Lose a million points
and the right to dine with the people who can successfully identify Draco as a lawgiver, rather than a Harry Potter character.'
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:21, Reply)
well I'm totally running away soon

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:54, Reply)
-pats-
Love you, hon.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
haha
I felt about five years old again just then
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I wish I were that young.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
This week
holds a LARGE amount of work for me. This is not good as I already HAD a large amount of work to do.

Alt:
Anglesey

Alt Alt:
My weekend was shit. Pure shit. Barney with missus, not going for drinks/curry with team awesome, ill children, etc. WOE is me...
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Sorry to hear about the weekend mate
How are the nippers now? Sorry, I should know this, but how old are they?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)
Elizabeth is 4 and Liam is 18 months
It was Liam who wasn't/isn't well. He sounds like he's done a crate of Cuban cigars, is teething really badly and is full (actually more like FULL) of snot.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)
Oh that sounds like buckets of fun
Hope he recovers soon mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)
Just had my parents on the phone
He is perking up a bit now
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Excellent news
I'll be impressed if he doesn't milk it though. I would, and I'm 31 years older than him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Just because my username is sportscow doesn't mean my children can be milked!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Why was your missus with a giant purple dinosaur?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)
I don't know
That is what the argument was about
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Gutted you couldn't make it dude

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Me too mate
Me too
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)
You are now known as Vipros V2.lame

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:42, Reply)
I concede this point

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Unlucky mon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:43, Reply)
alright Monty?
Weekend was ok, some bellending involved, but that of course is par for the course.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)
Good thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)
Good morning internet fiance
How are you today?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:46, Reply)
I woke up with an ENORMOUS erection.

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Obviously due to BREASTS!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:49, Reply)
i like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:52, Reply)
True story, I once got wankered in a pub and took some herbal viagra from the toilet machine.
I didn't get a stiffy until I woke up the next morning on my mum's couch with two of her friends looking down on me, I was just in my pants with a bit of a boxers-tent.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)
Hahahaha!
Why would you take herbal viagra?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
It was in a pub toilet machine and I was drunk.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:18, Reply)
That is OK then
I was drunk = good excuse for most things
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Deffo !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)
He knew he was staying at his mum's too.
It's all a bit Bert-y if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Good sleuthing

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:20, Reply)
The pub was closer to hers than it was mine.
=(
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:23, Reply)
ENORMOUS
is a very relative term, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:51, Reply)
absolutely amazing weekend thank you
birds tweeting, sun shining, la-la-la etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:53, Reply)
You are Fotherington-Tomas ICM hullo clouds hullo sky ect ect
You are uterly wet and a wede.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:57, Reply)
for once i am not whinging
make the most of it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I shall.
By merciless teasing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:01, Reply)
it's a hap-hap-happy day
toodle oodle oodle oodle oodle ay.....

fuck it, now i'm going to be singing that all day, how infuriating. the bitch is back.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
*punches air*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:06, Reply)
*punches monty*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:11, Reply)
*punches above weight*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Al cannot say this
as the laws of the universe do not allow it
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
arent you glad our cottage is called swete lavendar?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 9:58, Reply)
An integral part of my childhood, that is.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:04, Reply)
And mine.
My father raised me well.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Lol, _someone_ got slipped both the inches.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:05, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:10, Reply)
this did make me laugh
there are other reasons for being in a great mood than sex, you total pervert.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
And yours is?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I'll take a guess at lots of sex

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Both?
But that implies more than one?

Don't be silly GOnz!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:12, Reply)
We all spent the weekend being shafted rotten
by NICK CLEGG AND HIS CRONIES, thanks to you, Al.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 10:14, Reply)

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