Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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trudatJust thought it might ruin your plans
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:29,
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Monkeys?Bulldog clips?
Mondays?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:24,
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I do hate bulldog clips after an incident where I clipped one to my lipit caused a lot of bruising.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Well we won't hold that against you.Did you get your fill of sausage?
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:32,
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I did eat a lot of sausageand a lot of other bits of pig too. We had these amazing boiled pig knuckeles, proper massive lumps of meat.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Urgh!Although I do miss a good german salami on my pumperknickel.
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:40,
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Girth is very important.But being a not red meat eater it's been a very long time since I enjoyed any.
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:45,
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The consumption of salami at breakfast timeis one of the clearest indicators there is that Germans are great.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:48,
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I not only had salami, but smoked ham, and two other types of ham one of which contained tiny bits of either red pepper or tomato and the other of which contained tiny bits of cheese.
I also had crispy bacon and bockwurst and boiled eggs and sliced cheese.
I fucking love a proper continental breakfast. As in the breakfast you have on the continent, not that shit excuse for only giving you some bread and jam.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)
+when I take off the balaclava(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:26,
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I'm taking this as a sign that I'm overtired and need to sleep.therefore I'm going to bed now. ni ni.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)
Child Molestation? Genocide? Shops that run out of Yop?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:27,
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The cookie one is gooooooood(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:28,
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I have not considered this optionand will rectify it at the weekend
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:32,
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Oh Lordy, you really are a man of wontant glutami(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:35,
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Fucking hell Gonz, I'm not even sure what you were going for there.Wanton gluttony?
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My rapacious greed knows no bounds.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:38,
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Speaking of Wontant GlutamiI'm looking forward to an awesome sushi fest in April. Are you going to order for everyone?
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:40, Reply)
I am off out on Friday to an Indian/Thai restaurantThis is a Good Thing as I am also dining with Paul Daniels
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:42,
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He fucks me offhe promised to leave the country if Labour won the 97 election, but the cunt kept hanging around.
Same with Phil Collins.
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I am most displeased that wife wife is not called Debbie(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:43,
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Oh boy oh boy oh boy, I'll make suggestions rather than order for everyone =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:01,
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Nnononononononnononon NO.I'm on my iPad so can't link to the picture I took before, but it shows on my twitter that they replaced Yop with frij and I am not a happy bunny. Www.twitter.com/mr90nz0
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:34,
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Walking dogshit round the house(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:27,
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A favoured past time whilst attending University(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:30,
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An abject lack of Alt-Qs?You know perfectly well they are the lifeblood of this great forum
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)
This^and from Mr 100 replies rule too. Shoddy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:31,
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You are Sean Bean's character in The Island whose name I can't remember cos the film wasn't very goodAICMFP (Free Prostate)
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Was the island Cyprus?Tenerife?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:40,
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That's not my name/shitsong
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:42,
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It's really very hard to know who has invoked the shitter song hereAlthough that was a quality strikethrough by anyone's standards
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It's a fantastic song!I've walked fucking miles and miles this last week which I reckon has got to be good training.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:49, Reply)
UR The Proclaimers AICM Frankie Boyle lookalike(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:50,
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You know how you can tell it's not a good song? Cos it's by fucking AerosmithGood work there - I've been ill and haven't broken into so much as a jog for 9 days. At this point in time you are almost certainly fitter than me, along with most of the adult population of the world.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)
Sweet Emotion is a good songand that is also by Aerosmith. So there.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:55,
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Good tuneGreat guitar riff
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:56,
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Luckily for you I consider the phrase "the exception that proves the rule" to be self-contradictory bollocksso I shall retort, in the style of my accuser, "No it isn't. It is fucking shit."
Dream On is quite good though
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)
"the exception that proves the rule" is not self contradictoryit's just most people don't understand what it actually means.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Okay, a good example would be a sign saying "Parking here is free on Sundays"the implication being that other than on Sundays the parking is not free. Therefore pointing out the exception (free parking on sunday) proves the rule (you must pay for parking at other times).
So it's a perfectly valid phrase, but it's not appropriate to many situations and so is usually used incorrectly.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)
It is fucking trousersI may even stretch as far as calling it mittens
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:46,
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By utter coincidence Duran Duran's "Rio" has just popped up on my playlistAm genuinely tempted to go and see them this year
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)
My brother is going.But then he likes Rammstein and is therefore a witless tosser.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:54,
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Rammstein serve a purposeGranted, one (or one's crowd, they're enormously popular at metal club nights) need to be massively drunk to appreciate this purpose.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I do rather like that song. A classic.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:55,
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sex where the woman reacts?well, we are English.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:31,
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Those drinks stirrers that change colour in the presence of Rohypnol?(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I've never seen one, or would care if they were around.This is about the 5th time you've tried to make a joke about them, try harder.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Maybe you could start a scoring system ala Darth(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:34,
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In order to keep the average highI shall not strikethrough this obvious one
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:41,
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Did you come into town on Saturday?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:36,
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I think we both know that if this were true you would have produced a search.(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)
This could have been a long thread if you started it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:39,
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I'm your man.I can come up with a shortlist of maybe 20 new things to hate in just a few minutes.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:47,
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You're just going to search "list of a African countries" on wikipedia aren't you?
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:49, Reply)
exactly the same!and this week is going to be murder. doom.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:10,
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I think the underneath of my desk is haunted. It's bloody freezing.The whole office is warm apart from under my desk : /
I'm nearly falling asleep but my toes are numb.
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girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:50,
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Perhaps it's some sort of vaginal Zephyr(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:51,
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What, 'vagina'? Not really your specialist field though, is it old boy?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:05,
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Mornings -stretches, yawns-They are like totally lame. I'm a bit dopey.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:52,
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Mhm. Glad you had fun in Germany!Hope you burned some Jews.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:59,
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the answer is definitely MEand he won't reply to this, which proves my point.
i gave up b3ta and diet coke this morning. it's not even 11am and i am cross with my boss, so i am on b3ta. drinking a diet coke. gah.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:54,
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11am is the diet coke witching hourYou missed some good old politilols earlier today, the moaning left were bleating again.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:55,
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dammiti could have ranted on about my new squatters case.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:56,
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Whereas the moaning well-off never bleat.JUST GIVE US YOUR FUCKIN' MONEY AND WE'LL PUT AWAY THE BLADES!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:00,
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i'm feeling annoyed with life today, so i thought i'd be a bit controversial down there and spread the rage(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:02,
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my PIN you mean?ha, you're welcome to my overdraft. it was an expensive weekend (feckin birthdays)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:09,
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The safe, bitch, dont act dumb!!(It's almost as if this is in my blood)
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:11,
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but i don't have a safei am just wearing all my jewellery.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:20,
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Did he make you swallow but then only give you a couple of quick licksbefore saying he had an important call to make and left you feeling all horny but with nothing to use as a dildo?
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:56, Reply)
for the last timenot everybody does it your way
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:57,
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Everyone hates thatAl, djtp says you're gay for not being there on Friday.
I have explained that you may have been out of the country.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:59,
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Much to his disappointment.He was practically leaking at the thought of seeing you.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:02,
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Well I like you and I'm better than him.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:59,
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everyone who has half a braincell loves mebut you're better than most, even so! x
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:02,
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Why have you posted the 'fart' sign?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:05,
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it must be what she really thinks of me :((
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:07,
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Because I'm so turned on I'm guffing like anything.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:08,
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You should change your name to 'Queef Richards'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:16,
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oooh, just seen some of that debate. you know what i hate?smelly naive povs coming down here bringing london to a standstill so that i can't get to work to do my job WHICH IS THE ONLY THING THAT IS FUCKING PAYING FOR EVERYTHING ANYWAY. if you stop me getting to work, there'll be no chance of my taxes propping you up.
love from every hardworking person in the country xx
ps: name me ONE MARCHING PROTEST in this country that has ever changed ANYTHING. you'd make a damn sight more difference if you bothered to work for the day and then donated your salary to the cause. but of course that wouldn't give you the opportunity to feel all smug and self-important, would it?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:01,
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Also vandalising shops to help the economy is an excellent idea.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:07,
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smashing and burning all the nice things that you can never affordunless you get off your arse and get a proper job is a great way to make sure that insurance premiums etc don't go up, so prices stay nice and cheap for everyone.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:09,
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This is right. Definitely.It makes about as much sense as reacting to the news that you're going to lose your job because the mine you work at doesn't make any money - by, err, refusing to go to work at the mine.
THAT TOLD THEM. Err, hang on....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:12,
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the sad little bottom line isthat for some people the chance to come to or march through london and annoy everyone who just wants to get on with their lives is as exciting as it gets.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:14,
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why can't they go and march through cardiff or somewhere where no one will notice any damage donelike Wigan
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:23,
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The type of people who are fiddling the system and have fat sponger arses do not bother to go on demos.They show as much disdain for protesters as you do.
Please make generalisations about another group.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:14,
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Is that the sort of thing you were after?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:18,
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It's a start.It means you've actually listened to the Beatles and formed an opinion.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:20,
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I actually like their records up to Sgt Pepper.That LP is fucking dire. The White Album is even worse bar Helter Skelter but the more straightforward pop songs they started out doing were quite good, I feel.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:24,
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But you justsaid you liked early Beatles and that was simplistic pop.They were a boyband in a way.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:31,
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Their problems startedwhen they tried not to be simplistic. Nothing wrong with being simplistic in music - in fact it's often an asset.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:31,
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I like early Beatles better.I like at least one song off each later album but I wish they'd condensed them into one and got rid of the guff.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:28,
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sorry roots, but this particular rant was triggered by the smugness of"wahey look at me, i'm an anarchist and i am going to fix everything by bringing london to a standstill and maybe SMASHING stuff too, wheeeeee."
the reality is, it won't make a blind bit of difference to the government or the cuts. it will just inconvenience millions of people who have the misfortune to be trying to go about their daily lives or enjoying their holiday in london. if people could find a better way of protesting, maybe we could all actually get behind the causes and support them too and some change could happen.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:20,
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I don't agree with smashing shit up either.I like nice "careful now" impotent placard-waving and sing-songs. My days of lying in front of buses are over.
I'm just making the point that not everybody there on Saturday will be out to cause a problem. Most will stick to the approved route. A great deal of them are well-off hard-working tax-payers (like doctors). Some of them may well be naive, smelly, and 'povs'. They have a right to wander through the capital on an approved route shouting "Down with that sort of thing" even though it will achieve fuck all.
Most of them will not be the lazy fat cunts we're thinking of. Anyone who smashes a shop window is an angry tit. Some of the people who will be losing out due to the cuts will be previously hard-working tax-payers who have become disabled/unfortunate through no fault of their own. I am happy to pay my taxes to help them. It could be you or me one day.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:26,
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the problem isthat we get them all the time in london. all the time. if it's not about the war, it's about petrol prices, if it's not about petrol it's about bikes, if it's not about bikes, it's about students, if it's not about students, it's about the tamil tigers, if it's not about the tamil tigers, it's about the cuts...
if you do anything too often, it loses its impact. protest marches are just another one of these same things. nobody cares. nobody in london will feel anything other than irritation at having to miss a night out or being locked in a shop for a few hours or having to pay more council tax to clear up the shit. yes you could say that is shallow and selfish, and you'd be right. but when it affects their lives, eg their ability to do their job, people are selfish. look at the reaction to the tube strikes - not one jot of public sympathy do those tube drivers have, now that bob crow has cried wolf fifteen times a year. it's not that i am saying people shouldn't protest, or that these issues aren't important. but this is not the way to effect change. it won't make a scrap of difference.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:34,
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I know it won't, but people are driven to do it anyway.They do it in every capital, part and parcel of living there.
Just like buying a house near football ground and moaning about the hordes of mongs parking in your street and throwing their burger wrappers outside your house every fortnight. You AND the protestors are King Canute AICMFP.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:37,
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But King Canute was actually demonstrating that even a king didn't have the powerto overrule nature, so your comparison is totally inaccurate.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:39, Reply)
That's not how I was taught it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:41,
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Well you were taught it wrongit may not even have happened, but the principle of the story was that Canute was demonstrating that even a king was a subject of God and couldn't control the tide.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)
The TIDE of Fat Cat consumerismand the TIDE of smelly povs are, like totally, OVERWHELMING the capital. And we're like ALL fucked.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:42,
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there is nothing natural about povs smashing up shops.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:43,
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i'd drive them to it alrighti'd drive right over them with my tank...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:44,
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So you are in fact saying that people shouldn't protest.Which is fine, but don't try and pretend that you're saying something else.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)
And it's worth pointing out that your freedom to call all these people cunts is exactly the same freedom that they are using to have their protest. You can't have it both ways, either there is freedom of speech or their isn't.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Calling them cunts doesn't cost the taxpayers hundreds of grand to police.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:40,
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read the OP's comments for the glee that is clearly being takenwhilst they are causing a huge problem and actually costing the system more, i am trying to do a job that is paying money into the same system.
i say "i" but i mean "everyone working here or otherwise spending money in the country's crippled economy".
how can stopping this possibly be a good thing?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:42,
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It's pathetic, student shit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:44,
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The cost of the policing is a fairly redundant argument since the cost is measured in the hundreds of thousandsbut the amount of money being cut is in the order of billions.
And they aren't stopping people doing their jobs, they are just making their feeling about the stupidity of the current governments attitude clear to the government. The best way to do that is to make the protest as large as possible so that their opinions are noted.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)
their opinions won't be notedthe government doesn't care.
there isn't enough money coming in to support everything that is going out. therefore people smashing stuff isn't going to change a red cent. the only way to improve it is to earn more money so you can pay more tax and make the country better off!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:50,
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And the cuts the government are makingare going to hamper growth and cripple our economy again. Which is not going to make the country better off.
(, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:52, Reply)
We should charge each protester a quid to be there and herd them all into WembleyThey can shout to their hearts content in there, and there is no way they could trash the surrounding area.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:43,
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this is actually a very good ideaexcept that none of the protestors will want to pay a pound. the country OWES it to them to give them it for free, doncha know.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:44,
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Scousers nick carsJust joining in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:20,
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I loved it when they smashed up John Lewis in the anti capitalist marches.GOOD GOING, SMASH UP A CO-OP
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:15,
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Those bastards, working 40 hours a week on the shop floor and in the warehousesdriving the delivery lorries and cleaning the toilets, they represent everything that's wrong with the world.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:21,
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most of the people there just wanted a good smashingprinciples? beliefs? morals?
my arse!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:22,
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I am sure the queue is forming now(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:35,
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Is it Monday fucking mornings?Cos I bastard hate them.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:09,
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They generally involve having to get up and do some fucking workI do not approve of this.
Also, because I employ a policy of doing fuck all at the weekends, Monday mornings are usually accompanied by a massive stack of dishes, and at least two bins that need emptying.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:33,
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Ooh Sis!Hiya and that. He's got manfluenza. I'm just off to make tea.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:32,
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Tell him to MTFUlazy arse.
And I hope he's throwing all of his manflu-filled snotrags directly into the bin, and you are on hand with sanitising spray.
and tidy away his dirty mugs IMMEDIATELY.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:34,
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He is flushing them.And er, you know, worrying about contact with his mugs is the least of my worries.
Sorry like...
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:38,
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mr b3th is squeamish about sharing cans or bottlesbut, as you say, that's the least of our worries in terms of germ sharing.
Also, points away from Al for mentioning my brother's cock. Which he doesn't use for anything other than peeing, obviously.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:06,
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