Kitty!
b3ta.com/board/10417480

Morning Oaties, what does your day hold? Sadly mine does not feature an extra couple of hours of sleep, but I'm sure I'll manage since I'm planning to take the afternoon off.

Alt: What piece of your furniture do you most like and which do you hate? I like my bed and currently hate my wardrobe since the pole is knackered and I have to disassemble most of it to fix it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 7:59, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Funny you should mention that, we're having a new bed delivered today
So hopefully that. I also bloody hate my wardrobe as it's nowhere near big enough for my magnificent collection of couture.

Morning
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:08, Reply)

LIC
You suck. I hate you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 8:08, Reply)

HAHA
Apparently they nest in student accomodation.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:10, Reply)

Fuck OFF.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 8:10, Reply)

Ooooh, I acquired another B3tan's bra size last night!
The database expands. Very exciting.

That is all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:20, Reply)

/Creepy update

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:22, Reply)

Yep
Morning Rory. Sorry for my comment about autism last night, that was mean.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:24, Reply)

I wept myself to sleep last night, but I'm feeling a bit better today

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I bet your pillow's still salty

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Oh that's a constant state of affairs

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I said pillow
Not sock
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Socks are for the hoi polloi

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:43, Reply)

There was a joke about your socks being too small for you waiting to be made there
Even I would balk at jizzing into a pillow and then sleeping on it.

You sick fuck.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:44, Reply)

God hates you
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13295300
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Well if you will go against God's holy law
and those of nature, what do you expect. Cursed Sodomites.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:51, Reply)

It's refreshing to know that they get theirs in the end

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I've only just noticed this exceptionally good bit of punning
*click*, assuming you meant it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Eh, you win some, you lose some
On the downside; increased risk of cancer and no holidays in Uganda. On the upside; HOT COCK
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Not much use with a cancerous prolapsed arsehole

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:55, Reply)

You people are so blinkered
There are other things you can do with it!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:58, Reply)

That's simple becasue they spend much time with balls in their mouths
the lumps are found more easily
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Darth Veets his balls

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)

zingy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:04, Reply)

A friend of mine shaves his and is always banging on about how much nicer it feels
now, I'm not against trimming for the "optical inch" but that sounds dangerous
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Back, sack & crack wax FTW
Kidding. Haven't had anything waxed.

Yet.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Don't do it.
It fucking stings!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

You haven't

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Had it done? Yes I have.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Why are you discussing this with your 'friend'
Perhaps you're feeling trapped in this marriage of yours
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Public school boys innit, the naked male form holds no fear or surprsies after 15 years of communal showers and buggery

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)

My day holds nothing but tedium and drudgery as per fucking usual.
However, I am very excited about taking my nipper to my mother's 60th on Sunday. This is big news for me - and utterly uninteresting for you, but tough shit.

Alt: my bed is terrible - it's causing me back problems, or at the least exacerbating them. I really need a new one. My wall of records is my favourite if that counts as furniture. I say it does and I'll fight anyone who tries to tell me different.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I say different
*puts up dukes*

Jolly good new about the 60th party sir, very pleased for you. I know that's been bothering you for some good time.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Thank you.
My mother's similarly over the moon about it. I've also got out of my 'haven't got her a present' dilemma too - her 'partner' suggested what she'd really like is for me to take her to Tayyabs. I think I can manage that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Double ender

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Present of SPICY WIN

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)

That Delhi belly obviously fades from the memory very quickly
I'm starting to wonder if this Tayyabs place is some kind of Restaurant at the End of the Universe semi-mythical wonderland, the amount I hear about it. Or is it just a crackin' curry house?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Best food evar

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Congratulations on surviving the first show.
www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/series7/leon-doyle.shtml
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)

That show is just fucking wrong
it's even worse because I know a lot of intelligent people that like it and watch it.

and how can you be a "fast food marketing entrepeneur" anyway? that's just a kebab seller.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Chili sauce?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I love the way it makes 16 very high up executives makes around half of them essenchally unemployable.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

none of them are "high up executives"
most of them couldn't tie their own shoelaces, Gonz. If they were actually even vaguely any good at anything they wouldn't need to desperately whore themselves on telly for the attentions of a twat of a man who managed to make only the third-best computer on the market when there were only two types available.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

When I was 13, for my batmiziah, my dad wanted to give me a grasp of politics, so with my batmizah money
I saw him raise the price of Amstrad from 30p to £6... and similar figures with Spurs.

Getting that job/partnership with Sugar means they'll be secure for life.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Mate - have you checked where all the past ones ended up?
most of them didn't last long.

And it's quite easy to be secure for life by working hard and being talented. These fuckers just want a shortcut.

At the time Sugar ran amstrad, a one armed monkey with its nuts in a vice would have overseen the company to record share increases because of the explosion in the computer market. People will still buy the shittest of three things if they are the only three things there. Ditto Spurs, because he was involved right at the explosion of finance in football because of Sky money. In both cases he was slightly shrewd but mostly very, very lucky. See also: Martha Lane Fox, Mark Zuckerberg.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

As usual, I have little of worth to elaborate on Badger's excellent point
However, I met one of the series four finalists some time ago as we both work for the same company, and she said that a good 50% of former contestants have had their professional lives ruined by The Apprentice. Many of them because they were actually utterly incompetent in the first place and demonstrating this on national TV was an unwise career move.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Of this I have no doubt.
It's a painfully steep learning curve discovering how out of your depth you can be. Doing this, willingly, in front of a large TV audience? Insane

However - can I be clear about this - however ruined their lives became, they couldn't possibly have deserved it more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I quite agree
I can't think of a clearer example of the directly proportionate relationship between the amount of pride one shows and the size of the subsequent fall. Helene, the aforementioned finalist, was absolutely lovely, lucid, intelligent and capable, but I strongly believe she was the exception rather than the rule.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

The guy they fired was a fucking idiot
the the leader of the girls team needed slapping.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

they all need fucking slapping.
and then Sugar needs killing. I really don't get why Apprentice is considered acceptable television. Why is "winning" by being a backstabbing grasping cunt any better or more "highbrow" than winning by shoving a wine bottle up your vajoo or pretending to be a cat?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I like this
However, I would contend that The Apprentice is excellent television, as long as you work on the premise that Sugar and his aides are taking the piss and laughing behind their hands at every single one of the self-important twats who believe they're The Future Of British Business (TM)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

It's all symptomatic of a catastrophic decline in human society
In that the vast majority are only entertained by either cringeworthy suffering or by clinging onto the idea that lack of talent or any inclination to do hard work isn't actually a barrier to success as long as you have THE TELLY. I genuinely, honestly, hate it. It's sickening. (not specifically the apprentice, I mean the whole area)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I've tried to think of either a comforting or witty retort to this
and cannot. I must therefore resort to the ostrich approach, and pretend you're not painfully correct.

*switches on TV*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Meh
I watch a shitload of CSI. I have no room at all to comment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Hardly the same sort of car crash TV though
It's OK to indulge in the idiot box as long as it's intelligent programming like BSG.

*TV snob fist-bumps*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:51, Reply)

nah, but my labs have half the things that are in their labs
either TV is inaccurate or I want ALL their staff as my postdocs.

LOL science program lying about science SHOCKER.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:54, Reply)

You'll be telling me a parsec is a unit of distance rather than time next

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:02, Reply)

He was such a cock "It's all there...." ".... that's what I mean, it's all there." "... my experiance, it's all there".
ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES.

I bet you any money he was pushed to being an accountant as a young lad by his parents or family, hence the issues. There was top-lip-wobbling and exessive blinking, but no tears =(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

He was a complete idiot
I think the Northern Irish guy might be one to watch.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)

No-one unattractive or over 30 has ever won The Apprentice
So we're down to 5 or 6 already
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

That's who I reckon, and maybe the bloke who looks like Garath from The Office.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)

OHMYFUCKINGGOD THIS SHOW MAKES ME SO ANGRY

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Have you seen Series 7: The Contenders?
A cracking film - Reality TV taken to its dystopian extreme.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Series_7:_The_Contenders
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I agree with this post
Despite the poor punctuation
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about *whistles*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Nicely done there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

That good eh
We're planning a trip to London to see Wicked at some point so p'raps I'll investigate. How's the range of vegetarian and not especially spicy food?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I would be well up for that if there is an open invitation, it's a fantastic show.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:21, Reply)

It may well be, we'd likely be going with a good friend who lives in London anyway
If it turns into one of those "romantic evening" things I may have to raincheck
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Surely you won't have time to go cottaging as well as catching a show?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Theatres have toilets

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

That's cool, I'm good eaither way =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I think you've missed the point of Tayyabs there pal.

(berk, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

*curried meat fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:23, Reply)

This is why I was asking
So it's a menu consisting entirely of food forged from molten lava? Cos the missus won't go for that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:23, Reply)

All the dishes are pretty hot.
Even the yoghurt dip, which always catches the new bugs out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Also, Your missus is Daryl Hall AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I don't know who that is
Thank you for the advice, Ms Foxtrot will not appreciate an entirely spicy menu. Your comment below made me officelol. Credit where it's due.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Hall and Oates you spaz
a reference to "I can't go for that" unless I miss my guess.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:42, Reply)

I used to love Hall and Oates.

( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Still no idea
Is it an old person thing?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

If only there were some vast compendium of human knowledge at your fingertips
instead of the flabby, dimpled buttocks of your cottaging partner
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I think you might be missing the point here...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Problem: being strict Muzzers, they don't serve gays.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I don't see why I'm not invited to family events, I guess if you guys don't consider me 'close family' like I do you, then that would explain it.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)

"big news for me - and utterly uninteresting for you"
is the very lifeblood of QOTWOT.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I will be booking tickets, flights and hotel..
..for my wife and her sister to go and see 30 Seconds To Mars in Belfast in August. I will also be booking tickets for myself and the eldest son to see Sisters Of Mercy in Camden in November.

I've had to suffer Marti Pellow in concert in the name of marital harmony in the past so I am eternally grateful that her sister is a fellow Leto groupie.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I hope you threw things, like you own shit filled with broken glass

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:02, Reply)

No, I dozed off
True story
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Today I have the delights of:
A review meeting for one of my staff
An EDS meeting for me
Sorting a nasty problem out at one of our sites
Preparing for a work trip to York tomorrow

....and no fucking lunch. Cock. I realised when I was just about to get onto the Metro that my tasty tuna pasta is fermenting on the kitchen bench

Settee - I get to drink beer/coffee on it and watch TV
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:02, Reply)

The word you're looking for is sofa
here to help
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

No, it is a settee

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)

No' it's a sofa and it's in your living room, not your lounge
You'll thank me in the end
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:09, Reply)

It's no use, Nakers, he's 'geographically challenged'.
Probably uses 'serviettes' as well - whatever they are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)

How utterly beastly!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

We use forearms to remove food from the face up here son

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)

we have serviettes....

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Only when the screws give them to you at christmas I presume?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

erm... no?
they sit in the holder at dinner. You wipe your mouth with them, then throw them away.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)

He's insinuating that you're a nation of convicts
Don't be mean to Poppet, Apers. If you're going to have a pop at Australia, mention the cricket; she doesn't care about that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I'm just teasing, one can't expect them to know any better
At least i didn't mention spiders
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

oh. I had no idea what he meant by "screws".
He can insinuate it all he likes. I'm well aware that ENGLAND had so many convicts they needed a bigger jail to house them all. I'm more Dutch then I am English, therefore I'm less related to the convicts.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Good retort
*polite applause*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:53, Reply)

*shakes head sadly at our parochial antipodean cousins*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Cell Block H lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is pretty odd
good that you have a support group, you mutant freak.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I'm assuming that EDS makes me some kind of mong

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

hypermobile joints and stretchy skin
thecheesereporter.blogspot.com/2009/11/ehlers-danlos-syndrome-news-and-photos.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I have a full body massage at 11, although I doubt there will be a happy ending as it's in the company treatment room
Best bit of furniture is my cow skin rug, if that counts.

Worst is the bed, too old, too soft and too small.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Too easy
the bed my penis
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

ha ha ha
You would know....luvver
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)

It was awfully difficult to find amongst your pubes
You really should consider shaving
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Fucking work when I should be on honeymoon
Bastard students and there piffling concerns about graduating on time. Meh.

I guess my sofa. Although my old range cooker was my favourite furniture thing EVA.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Range cookers FTW
6 burners and 2 ovens
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:06, Reply)

mine only had five burners
left field, man. just one central fuckoff triple burner and the other four. ALthough for some reason scottish mains gas never seemed to be at a high enough pressure to properly kick it off.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:07, Reply)

The little burners get on my wick though
MOAR FIRE!!!!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

yeah but you do need a good light simmer sometimes
...
..

..
come on, where's the strikethrough?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:10, Reply)

*obliges*
light simmer fisting up to the elbow from Schteve whilst Shimon prods at your tonsils with his meatstick
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

please
it's both feet up to the ankles or nothing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)

That's because those english BASHTARDS shtole it all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:08, Reply)

coming up here, stealing your gas and catching your haggi.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:09, Reply)

My ma' has a Range Master and it's AMAZING.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I had a rangemaster and then a delonghi one.
rangemaster is indeed the mutts.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Did you elope?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:11, Reply)

er, no.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Did you paint your bedroom green?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:13, Reply)

one of our spare bedrooms is green. Does that help?


I've no idea where you are going here
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I thought we were asking completely random questions...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)

You've not mentioned getting married before, at least, not on here.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:17, Reply)

This mnakes more sense....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:19, Reply)

I didn't really think it was of interest to be honest.
I don't generally bring many aspects of my private life on here. I think I mentioned it on monday in a response to "what did you get up to at the weekend" question with "got married"

I think I've mentioned it a couple of times in threads with Vippers that have been about his wedding plans.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Congratulations!

( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:27, Reply)

thank you :)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:28, Reply)

well done you!
Was it this weekend just gone? Why do you have to work, that sucks massive donkey balls
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Fanks
I always knew I would because of the date we chose. I have all my lot's final year UG exam boards next week and I have to be present. We're off on the 22nd.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Exam boards this early?
We're still in the middle of revision lectures.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:46, Reply)

semesters, innit.
We start the new year in early sept now. MADNESS.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Crazy talk.
Next they'll be charging £9000 for the privilege.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:50, Reply)

not up here they won't
*mwahahahahahas*

Oh, except that Salmond twat is determined to push for independence, destroying the Scottish economy at a stroke whilst simultaneously condemning England and Wales to 50 years of Tory rule. Nice.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:52, Reply)

It's not a full story, so I can't link to it
But the Daily Mash has responded to this with the headline "Scotland takes historic step towards finding out how poor it is", a picture of Salmond and the sub-heading "Pro-independence landslide paves way for impassioned, patriotic begging letter".

Norwich is a lovely place to live, you know.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:55, Reply)

He can push for independance all he likes
but most Scottish people don't want it as far as I can see, so it's unlikely to happen.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I think it'll be closer than you think.
And it all depends on the campaigns in the run up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I think our great leader Dave has demonstrated
that when he gets involved, he wins.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Except when it's a general election, obviously.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Most people here don't want the SNP in power either
look how that turned out.

Voter apathy will do it, I'm willing to bet. probably only 25% of the population want independence but they will all vote. So if they only get 40% turnout, bang! independence, baby. Cameron can bang on all he likes about "keeping the union together" but he's secretly creaming his pants at the idea - doubles or triples the Tory majority in Westminster at a stroke.

the only possible hope is that Salmond is genuinely terrified of losing, so he won't call a referendum until he is certain he could win, because defeat destroys the SNPs credibility entirely. So it won't be for four years at least.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Oh, if only there was some way that the general views of people could be represented in the make up of the government
What a crazy idea that would be.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Well, if you mean AV, that's a load of arse as well.
It only works in Australia to a point because it's a criminal offence not to vote.

Essentially we have PR up here, which strikes me as best, but the turnout was shite.

Edit - sorry, I missed that, you were being sarcastic about elections in general. Yeah, same thing. Turnout is the problem up here. Plus, Labour still tainted, Lib Dems forever destroyed - a lot of people that voted SNP did so because they couldn't vote for anyone else. Doesn't mean they want independence, which is what Salmond thinks.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I could never trust a man who cannot even spell 'salmon'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

haha.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:08, Reply)

It's his naturally thick tongue,
caused by years of eating deep fried pizza, that catches on the end of his teeth every time he speaks.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Cool, congrats mate !
Can you thank your wife for me, for taking my biggest competition in this place out of the game.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:32, Reply)

*winks*
*finger guns*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

aw congrats mate!
that's lovely to hear, it really is.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Thank you :)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Next thing to look forward to is the sweet release of death.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Today I get my bike frame back from the powdercoaters
which is awesome news.

I love my sofa but hate my chest of drawers as the fronts are falling off.
( Peej, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I'm off to the hospital today
I'll be having my body swabbed to test for nasty fermenting grot as I'm having my neck (hopefully) sorted next Tuesday - Bilateral 4 level posterior foraminotomy FTW!

Alt: My G/F's bed - ludicrous amounts of springs AND 3" of temperfoam.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:18, Reply)

My sofa
it's ludicrously comfy; it's like sitting in a hug.
(berk, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Hugz4U lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Today's groupon email subject line:
Colonic irrigation £25, Spring Cleaning?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Stolen from /talk
dl.dropbox.com/u/14947/photo-1.PNG
I office lolled.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I like this.
Looks like something I would do for a laugh.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Boring day full of nail biting tension to see if the book keeper can fathom out my mindless accounting.
I love my bed and don't bother with a wardrobe. I always have a metal clothes rail as a wardrobe takes up too much space in the bedroom.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I love your spare bed.
I swear, after travelling around, and sleeping on the inflateable thing Beekers let me use, that bed was quite possibly one of the *BEST* places I had to sleep the whole time I was travelling.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:34, Reply)

It was a bloody bargain that bed.
Glad you liked it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I was so warm and cosy. And your cats drooled on me.
the drooling bit I wasn't so pleased about, but the bed was ace! And you're welcome to mine if you ever visit aus.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 May 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I plan on coming over when I go travelling : )
I can stop off on my way to New Zealand.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I got drunk. Very drunk.
It's not like me to do that these days.
Unfortunately, I didn't get so drunk as to induce amnesia.
My friend Jenny is now on a train home, where she can duvet and toast all day. I am in work, possibly still drunk and very dizzy.
Despite the calorific alcohol consumption, I'm still happy that I went easy on the food.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Eating's cheating.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Innit.
So's that wine though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 May 2011, 9:38, Reply)

me too
i am a mess this morning...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I just had banana on dry brown toast.
I really want some naughty food and Coke.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I just ate a packet of cookies

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Oh Alain, I know it's all my own fault.
I know that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

you're not tooooo bad if you can face food in my vast experience
and the food normally fixes it.

it's when the food makes you feel like vomit that you might as well accept you aren't dead but you would prefer to be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

My head does hurt.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 11 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)