It has just been brought to my attention that China is suffering from an exploding melon problem
This is the best thing I have heard all day.

Discuss.

Alt: food, I suppose. You probably will anyway. But you can only talk about food if you discuss the exploding melons, which are no longer classable as food.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:52, 217 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have to admit to "lolling" at this story too!
Who says that additives in food are all bad?

Alt: Piri Piri hummus, celery sticks and mexicana cheese
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I don't mind lolwaki hummus, but I like regular-style best.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I prefer it with a bit of zing in
The picantamole they sell in Sainsburys is nice too.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I found the picture quite funny
as well as the whole situation, those greedy farmers giving too much growing thingy to the melons. I feel bad about the amount of food that is wasted, and probably at those farmers or the employees of the farmers that are not going to see any money for their work.

I rather don't talk about food, unless it's bread or pasta. I had pasta today. And yesterday. And almost everyday for the last 6 weeks. Yesterday night Mark prepared it in 3 different ways and I had a bit of each. I love him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:57, Reply)

My daughter is really picky about food
The only thing she will eat regularly is pasta and "baspecci" as she calls it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I would suggest you discourage pickiness as soon as you can
or she will be 18 and on the telly showing everyone her weird freaky diet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

We do
She only gets sweets if she eats all her dinner
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

My parents tried that
as soon as I had any spending power of my own, the only thing i bought was sweets.

You have been warned!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

OMG!
If he keeps up like that his daughter will end up with a hot brother with a large penis!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:13, Reply)

but she'll have big tits
so it doesn't matter
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:20, Reply)

They commented on my son's massive balls when he was born
I was so proud
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I'm sorry, are we talking about his four-year old daughter's tits?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I think we are Noel
b3thnonce
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

On the day I was born
Gary Glitter was at number one in the hit parade. TRUFAX!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

b3th - the leader of the crack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Wet Wet Wet for me
Then again, it could be worse, it was Fairground Attraction the week after.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Not perfect then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Ah well, I get by.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Oh ok cool, I'll fetch the lube.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

My parents discourage pickiness on my sister since she was a baby
still is picky these days, although living on her own and working on colon cancer research has tought her that she has to eat vegetables, and now does it all by herself!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Mine eats loads of stuff
but to my disgust doesn't like cheese. For fuck's sake. What kind of spastic doesn't like cheese?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:18, Reply)

The wrong kind Monty, the WRONG kind.
Get a half brick in a football sock, it's the only kind way.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Society will thank me in the long run.
Plus, prison's a right laugh as we found out earlier.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Any cheese?
But all cheeses taste different. Not even white soft cheese? Like Philadelphia? Or mini babybel?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:20, Reply)

As far as I know it's any cheese.
But she's OK with milk so it's not a dairy aversion. I think she must be a gay like her grandma.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

you may find that she likes it melted
I don't eat cheese, unless it has been melted.

I loathe the stuff in its natural form, but melt the fucker and I'll lap it up.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I was the other way round as a kid. I hated melted cheese
Now, I fucking love cheese. All of it!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Even that wop fly shit one?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Not had that one, to be fair
The fucking dirty bastards
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Nope - doesn't like pizza.
Stupid fucking bitch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

kick her in the cunt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Not after last time. I lost a shoe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Deacon

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

the lactose-intolerant?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

What cunts they are. I loathe intolerance in all its forms. The intolerant should be shot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Well I'll b edamned!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Please die.


Thanks
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I got a reaction, that's all that matters.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Maybe you're allergic to cheese?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

It's all attention, sweet sweet attention.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

There's no such thing as bad attention

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Just ask Ryan Giggs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

That cunt loves it all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:39, Reply)

i never did get why so many of my friends fancied him at school
he looked manky to me.

although my friend anna was so in love with him that 2 other friends got the bus all the way from wilmslow to old trafford (this was a big deal when we were 13) to buy her a poster. they were really upset because they could not find any posters.

silly bitches had gone to the cricket ground...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Aren't the two grounds only about half a mile from each other?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I thought of you on sunday, how you like to just eat salted butter
because I was hoovering up left over lasagna noodles with salt sprinkled, and I was all I've done this forever
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

i like melons

( broadsword, Wed 18 May 2011, 12:57, Reply)

obvious reply is obvious

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 18 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

but funny

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

My favourite dodgy fruit story is that people leave pumpkins outside,
they ferment, squirrels eat the fermented pumpkin, and get drunk as fuck.
No sound needed

Alt: Melons, eh? I just had garlic doughballs. I ate so much last night I got a pressure headache and tonight I'm having my first ever steak and we're also making chimichurri.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:10, Reply)

You have never had steak?
why not?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Recovering vegetarian
Only been eating meat properly for about a year. And even then it's about once a week, if that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I love steak
but only rare, so I can't eat it now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I like burnt things
I'll probably settle for medium-rare? I'm not sure.

I, unsurprisingly, am not in charge of cooking the steaks.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:15, Reply)

partly depends on what sort of steak it is
don't want it too rare for your first go, because rare texture is kind of weird if you aren't used to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I had the most amazing bit of sirloin on Monday
I love our butchers.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:17, Reply)

...Rump, I think.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Defo medium rare to medium then.
Needs a little bit more cooking to melt any fat running through it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I second this.
Al knows about meat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I have a thing about fat and meat.
Urgh. Horrible stuff.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

fat running through meat is different
that's what makes it taste good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Yes,
it's very funny to see you eating your bacon with Crow next to you...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I know, it's disgusting, but he likes it, I don't, and neither of us like wasting food.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Yes, but seeing you feeding him
those little bits of whites is so, so funny.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I am very much like a proper crow in this respect
(A shameless scavenger)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Medium-rare
should be ok for a first time, but don't burn it or it'll only taste of charcoal, not meat.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

^^What they said.
Also make sure you rest it well after cooking too (~15-20 mins at ~60-70degC), it relaxes the meat rendering it much more succulent!
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

15-20 minutes seems like too long for a single steak

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I agree
five minutes, maybe up to ten if you've got the oven warm first.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

guideline is half to 3/4 of cooking time I think
so no more than 10 minutes resting should be necessary I'd say
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

You chaps are probably right, I posted with I normally do for my favourite.
I like a highly-toasted fat ribeye though, so the extra time lets the otherwise fairly cool interior get a bit warm while staying pink ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Mmmmm Rib-Eye.
I had some amazing Rib-Eye in Gaucho in Picadilly.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)

yeah, ribeye is a different thing altogether

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Medium rare is probably the best compromise for a home done steak.
If I'm in a proper steak restaurant I'll get rare as they manage to get it properly charred on the outside but raw in the middle. My kitchen would be too smokey if I tried that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I was informed all about blue-cooked steak
It sounds a bit gross if I'm honest.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I love it blue!
I love steak tartar as well. Mmmmm... I wish I could have one now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

It's not, honestly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Fear not, I'm taking charge of the gridle pan this evening
The good lady can have hers as she wishes...but do you put stock by what these chaps are saying above about doing rump rare? I'd normally be inclined to try and do it saignant or blue, you see.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

it's not a quality enough cut
go for medium-rare
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Yeah, I normally trust Brian on cooking-related advice
(So...how long do you normally give it on each side for rare/medium?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

You don't time it
you touch your thumb against your middle finger and then poke the pad at the base of your thumb. The steak should be that consistancy when cooked Medium Rare.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Wholly agree - best steak-cooking trick in the book, that one.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I thought my mate was taking the piss when he first told me
then I saw Gordon Ramsey doing it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)

good advice
but it should generally take about 3-4 minutes if you were inclined to time it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Oh, just to let you know
neither I, nor CHCB, have received our wedding invites yet so it looks like they go lost in the post, but she says she and catface have no dietary requirements, but they will need a high chair for the baby. Me and the mrs will eat anything.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I only received the invites from the printers yesterday

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Oh phew.
I was getting worried for a minute.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

All I know is that getting it to room temperature beforehand, and resting after are 2 of the best things you can do with rump
It improves the steak hugely, I think.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

As does placing it in a cardboard box
along with a naan, some doner meat, some chicken wings and some onion rings.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Dont forget the salad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Ah, get fucked
That's not steak, that's reconstituted nostrils.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I can't believe you've never had steak!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I've had "slices of steak" in Wahaca
but never a slab of it. Never had steak and kidney pie, or stewed steak, or anything like that. I'm highly intrigued.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

What you are, young lady, is 'a poofter'.
Tonight is your first step into a glorious, meaty world.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Charms and I went to Tayyab's last night
I have the "ordering the perfect amount" down to a t now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I ordered for 7 he other night
and got it absolutely spot on. Or at least, everyone was happy. Personally I could have gone for another portion of lamb chops and 3-4 poos.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I could have gone for another kebab I think
mmm, kebabs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

You are doing it wrong then!
The idea is to order far too much and stuff yourself
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I was stuffed.
I had to walk about a quarter of my usual speed back to the bus.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

The fact that you could walk means at least another two lamb chops and half a roti

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I couldn't handle my second naan
so slapped it in an envelope. I might have some with the rest of this garlic butter.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Good work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

i don't know what i want for lunch
well, i do. i want my £10 salad, with blue cheese and chilli flakes and walnuts. but the fucking place has closed down :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Walnuts should be illegal.
They're bitter and unpleasant and look like roasted squirrels' brains.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

They make nice bread though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

oooh no
i love walnuts. we had greek yoghurt with honey and walnuts at the restaurant last night. divine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I'm not surprised
selling salads for £10!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

...My entire week's worth of food costs £15.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

when i was a student
and ran out of money, i had more than a few weeks when i lived for £1 on 4 cans of spaghetti from iceland. i still cannot BEAR that manky tomato sauce taste.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I don't buy student stuff though
And I still manage to live off that much.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

i probably could
but it requires levels of organisation that i simply do not have. to remember to get the right amount and to bring it into work... and then to actually want to eat what i brought when my colleagues are going out somewhere or friends are going out after work which would immediately tempt me to anything but what i had brought... it would just rot in a carrier bag in the fridge. i have zero willpower.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I had leftover pizza and garlic mayo dip
It was excellent and I got mean looks from the people eating salad and ryvita.

I just read this - www.ajkesslerblog.com/being-frugal-makes-you-a-loser/ and thought it was quite interesting. Given that I'm moving soon I'll probably take some of that advice - I need a couple of sets of new sheets, for example.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Leftover pizza
is the best breakfast ever!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:25, Reply)

What pizza though?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

2 slices of Capricciosa -
(Tomatoes, mozzarella, ham, salami, mushrooms & peppers)

and 2 slices of Mixed Grill (Spicy beef, Cajun chicken, mushrooms, green peppers, chilli, garlic & pepperoni)

www.just-eat.co.uk/restaurants-pizza-pizza-b28/menu

OM NOM NOM
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

That sounds fantastic.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I like something with the odd vegetable on
takes the guilt off.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Alt: Calling all Turophiles - name this cheese!
Here's one for the cheese cognoscenti if they're about. A couple of weeks back I went to a pal's BBQ and they had a collection of cheeses. At the end they still had a load left including a chunk of one they didn't want (mad fools!) so we took it and polished it off post haste. Can't remember if they told us what it was (the memory is a little fogged by dint of my being on the outside of most of a bottle of Plymouth Original).

It was roughly half-way between a blue-veined Brie and a Port-Salut, complete with slightly rubbery but edible salted rind. It was from a round-edged wheel rather than the square edges of Fontina or Taleggio. Can't find any reference to blue Port-Salut either ... anyone got any ideas?
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Not a clue but if you find out let me know, sounds like a good one.
I've just nommed some rather tasty Bleu D'Avergne.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Hmm. Do you have any idea which country it might have come from?
If it's British, then blue veins and a rubbery texture bring something like a Shropshire Blue to mind.

The other giveaway might be how salty it was - normally I find French blue cheeses have a much sharper saltiness than British.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I'd have guessed French or Italian.
It was like a very mild Shropshire Blue, and fairly close to it in colour, but with a port-salut-esque texture.

My search continues ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Ah, wasn't something in the same vein* as a Dolce Latte, was it?


*_{No pun intended, I swear...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

No, definitely a round-edge rind wheel-type cheese but not a million miles away on the flavour I reckon.
Please don't start with the cheese puns, we'll have Jeff hiding small horses before you know it and then it'll all kick off ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)

St Agur?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I have another discussion to add
Has Nature gone wrong, you think? Sometimes it seems like evolution is not really helping, for example:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES32UFlPOUA

Why would any animal evolve into something that can barely move and run away? Ok, it's super cute, and reminds me of one of the Angels of Evangelion, but nevertheles...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

evolution is random
if it's that shit it'll die out soon enough. if it hasn't died out then it can't be that shit.

edit: posted that before the link had loaded. Sloths are awesome, and I don't think they have many predators.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Well
It's not very well prepared to defend himself from anything, is he?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

It doesn't need to be fast in its natural habitat, and I'm quite sure it wasn't expecting someone to build a road right through it.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I've seen them in their naturan habitat
and they must taste awful, because by now they should all have been eaten by leopards.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

if I were a leopard I wouldn't bother with a sloth.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

No challenge.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

exactly
if you are hardcore enough to kill a gorilla and drag its carcass up a tree why would you bother with something so slow and with so little meat on it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

snack

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

The animal kingdom equivalent of an after dinner mint.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Waffer theeen sloth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I think I found the reason why leopards don't eat them
As much as two-thirds of a well-fed sloth's body-weight consists of the contents of its stomach; which are partially digested leaves. Mmmmm delicious!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Not even for the cubs to train?
As I said, they have to be really disgusting. Maybe that's what evolution has given them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Hi!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Oh hai!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Why not?
They seem very easy to catch.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

well
they live up trees for the most part, not too much of a problem for a leopard, but they do have some pretty savage claws, and if I am risking a savage mauling then I'm going to want more meat as a reward.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

They have savage claws
that they move at the impressive speed of 1mm/h... yes, I'd be scared too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)

You'd find a wildebesst
and have a nice medium rare steak on an open fire.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I love this
I dislike the annoying tourists.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I dislike them too
but then, I was the same when I saw the first one. They are so cute... it's impossible not wanting to take 100 pictures of them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

True
I love animals, but I very much believe in not disturbing them in the wild. I'd find it pretty distressing if a load of brightly dressed giants were looming over me with flashy clicky things.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

You're right there
At least I was keeping the 2m recommended distance and not touching them. One of them had 20 people around him, touching, offering food, shouting at him, taking pictures... it looked so unhappy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Good good,
That I can appreciate. If you're a good distance away and their not distressed then it's fine.
But that's awful, the poor thing.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I know
It was trying to scape from them, and it looked so pathetic, on the floor, trying to reach the eagles area, which is partially protected and people can't walk in. We looked at it for more than 20min and it hadn't managed when we left.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Aww, this is making me have a sad.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Don't think about it
I bet he's fine now.

You can think about the coatis, and how they'd bite people going too close or offering food, passing them the rabbies.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)

It's been the best part of a month since I completed my challenge
and I haven't seen any tits yet.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

tell her like it is

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I said if you didn't manage it you'd never get to see them again.
I never specified I'd go out of my way to show you if you did.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Oh man, I feel totally cheated
All that effort I went to.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Sorry dear.
Should have read the small print.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I couldn't, there were breasts in the way.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Well they weren't mine
Therefore: not my problem.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

THIS is why you need a lawyer
now you have no tits
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

If only I had had you as a lawyer, I would have two lots of tits.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

three, including your own

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

while we're posting animal vids
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm31xBjfMNY
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

are we supposed to discuss the exploding melons or that it's the best thing you've heard all day?
in other news, due to being unbelievably drunk last night I've decided to start my "videographer business". I don't even know what a videographer is, but I'm only doing it because I have a video camera, and I know a girl that has a photography business since she's bought a camera, so I can do it too right?

alt: I had a sloppy joe last night. They're quite good with ketchup.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

What is a sloppy joe?
Or did you just suck off a trucker named joe?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I want to know this too
They get brought up all the time in american shows, and they sound disgusting.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

i thought it was some kind of hotdog?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

they look disgusting too
but they are oh so good
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

It's like a burger that hasn't been shaped into a patty
It's actually pretty nice if you use good meat and spice it heavily.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:48, Reply)

You're a whore and I hate you.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloppy_joe
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I'm so glad I haven't had lunch yet.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Looks like a bolognese sandwich,,,

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Exactly what I thought.
Or cottage pie meat with a bit of tomato sauce in.
Mmmm mince n' onion gravy... and mash.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

So it's essentially a burger
that they didn't make into a patty before they cooked it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:48, Reply)

sloppy wet meat
and dry bread do not go together.

surely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

If you toast the bread first, they do though.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

what a ridiculous thing to say

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

it's a texture issue, i just don't get it
like people who eat peas WITH their mash, for example. or crisps and peanuts in the same mouthful. it's just weird.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Peas and mash = win

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

It's almost as if she was writing a comment about a sloppy joe
but in her head she was thinking about a big hard cock which she had spent ages slobbering over and her dry and barren vagina.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

al
if you find vaginas are dry, you're definitely doing it wrong.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Mr Phil E Cheesesteak disagrees.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

that's not what you said last night :(

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

contra-texture=win

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

fuck that nasty shit
no no no
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Pate and crisp sandwich?
It's the future.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY NEW VIDEO RECORDING BUSINESS???!!!!
validate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Are you a good vieographer Kristine?
I reckon you could make a fortune filming amateur porn. You don't even have to tell the subjects that you're doing it, give it that feel of authenticity.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

definitely, I have a brand new digital video camera

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

What do you want to videotape first?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 May 2011, 13:53, Reply)

I'm not sure!
Maybe I could get a nice minute long video of the rain and put some music in the background then some text....like a poem of some sorts.
Just as a debut.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Maybe film a plastic bag in the wind while you're at it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I'm going to tape a poptart to the side of my dog and a rainbow to her arse and let her run around and see what happens

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)

£250 right there.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Best. Idea. EVER.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Harry Hill will be all over that shit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Comedy pets
Or deaf old people.

Or people hurting themselves.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I want to be taken SERIOUSLY.
I wonder if the President will let me follow him for a day....
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Are you a member of Al Qeada?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

The first rule of middle eastern terrorist group is...etc

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I thought you said SERIOUSLY?
Perhaps there is an unarmed man cowering in a filthy room that you could film being shot and then Obasama could pretend to be horrified watching it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I don't want to be taken THAT seriously. FFS.
I guess Al has the right idea. I should start shooting porn.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Good money.
Even if you have to distribute it yourself.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

That's your plan, right there.
1: Videos of deaf old people hurting themselves by tripping over comedy pets.
2: ???
3: PROFIT
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

you should film yourself lipsynching to Green Day, When September Ends
then as finale cut yourself and bleed on the lens so the blood mixes with your tears.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

This
I also think AA should make a cameo appearance at the end
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

but he's all the way over there!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Zoom lens innit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I do have a pretty good zoom.
But the picture gets all shakey in zoom. Guess I need to get a tripod! I'm sure all the great film makers have one.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

But does he have the high top fade and codpiece?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Funniest and most correctly-named singer ever.
Not like that liar Barry White.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)

5km run in 25 mins flat
45 mins of weights and abs, now i have a cheese, marmite and cucumber roll and can on apple Tango, good times.

those are dissident watermelons and have been executed by the Chinese government
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

So over an hour for lunch then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Hell yeah, I do what i want

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Good skillz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

It's simple really
I'm in early and leave late everyday anyway. Also as long as I get all my work done I'm treated like an adult and it's assumed I can manage my own time. Weird concept eh?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Like an adult?
I know not of the Utopian workplace of which you speak.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)