I just left a note on another car in the car park
because the silly cunt decided to leave the nose of their BMW 4x4 wankmobile sticking into my bay, which made it bloody awkward to park my van.

I tried to make it as nice as possible as leaving notes it's stupidly passive agressive, but I don't know actually know who drives the wankmobile (though I have my suspicions it is one of the fat greasy spivs that I found smoking inside yesterday afternoon because they didn't want to go outside in the rain).

When they kick off about it, should I remain calm and reason with them, or just kick them in the balls and bite their ears?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:32, 167 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Depends if they are bigger than you or not.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:33, Reply)

But I am strong! Strong like Water Buffallo!

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)

But far prettier.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Awwwwww, Fankoo.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)

don't pull a tyson, you'll have to get a facial tattoo and only wankers have facial tattoos

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I promise not to get a facial tattoo if you come to London.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)

ugh
I was very upset yesterday.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)

:(
Ignore all the haters, they be talking whack jive.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:44, Reply)

would you say that in real life?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I would.
I would say it with a straight face, and I imagine you would find it very amusing. There are few things more amusing than a middle class white englishman talking like someone from Compton in the 1980s.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:59, Reply)

whack jive is more like something someone in a jazz club in the '60s would say.
I'm only just having an argument with a random on fb about smoking.
I'm all "they're my lungs" and she's all "it affects OUR lungs too, second hand smoke is worse for you" and I was all "it's incredibly unlikely that my smoking would affect your lungs since I don't know you."
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)

It's a tricky one.
Smokers always like to say "There is no evidence that second hand smoke causes cancer". But that makes no logical sense since they accept that smoking directly will cause cancer, I don't think partially filtering the smoke through someones lungs is going to make it safer.

But on the other side, smoking is both cool and feels wonderful
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

It's a pointless one but her smartass attitude pissed me off.
She's writing as if she knows me and my smoking habits, she doesn't.
I just get pissed off when people try to tell me what I can and can't do with my body.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)

If you came to London and the wife was away
I'd happily tell you what to do with your body.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

oh you tart

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Use his ears for leverage to knee him repeatedly in the throat.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)

As soon as they even take in a breath to talk
Bellow with primal rage and hurl yourself bodily at them, flailing your limbs as if you were being electrocuted. Bonus points if you froth at the mouth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I like this plan.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Someone complimented me on my driving the other day.
They left a note on the windscreen that read 'Parking Fine' so that was nice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)

heehee :)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Tim Vine phoned. He wants his act back.
I know, that's a bit rich coming from me ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Kick them in the ears and bite their balls

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Damn you ladyface, beat me to it.
How's your shit?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Haha :)
My shit is shit thanks - how's yours?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)

My shit is pretty good ta, walking after work for the second day in a row.
Having a little spliff and some stand-up comedy while walking is working wonders.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I mis-read spliff as "stiff"
Can you believe that? Are you doing your own stand up comedy while you walk?
*sniggers*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)

You could get someone to video it and put it on the internet!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Excellent idea! :)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Int milk brilliant?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)

?
Man or moo?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:02, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:03, Reply)

click

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

But what if I get all turned on?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Surely that can only be a bonus.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Indeed that would be a bonus,
as you could proceed to beat him about the kneecaps with your massive wood \o/
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Hello lovely lady : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Hello lovelychops!
*chest bumps*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Get Darth to explain your grievances for you.
Through the medium of fabulous dance!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I'll bet he does a very aggressive pasodoble.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Of course I do
If it's not aggressive you're doing it wrong

Also, it's two words - Paso Doble.

Duh.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Wikipedia says pasodoble.
I was only looking up the spelling, honest!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Wikipedia is wrong.
That sound you just heard was the world falling off its axis.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I know you Googled that
because of the accents
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)

No I didn't, hönest!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Hahaha
I like this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)

That's the first time I've had the chance to use that key combination
Since my German A-level, more than ten years ago.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I like this.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)

There's a guy that parks his Polo just inside a junction
right at the crest of a blind hill. Stupid cunt.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)

You should leave a piece of wood with 4 inch nails driven through it behind his tyres.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I'm sorely tempted to do something about it, that's for sure.
I can be a terrible cunt on the roads.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)

It's reading shit like this that makes me very glad I don't drive.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I obey the rules of the road and expect others to, as well.
A lot of the time they don't, then get cross at me because I do and then I follow them all the way home :)
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)

+ and assault them with a frozen cleveland steamer.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)

The exception is people driving in the outer two lanes on a motorway
when they should have pulled in. I have no ethical problem with undertaking.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I only get annoyed when nearly run over by bicyclists.
Apparently, because I'm facing away from them, I should look where I'm going. Whu?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Cyclists are massive, massive bellends who deserve to be run over by lorries

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)

So should your unborn child

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I was paraphrasing
what i mean is self righteous bprick cyclists who pay no heed to the rules of the road then moan about getting hit. I had one get angry with me this morning when he was cycling the wrong way down the road
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I was riding up a gentle slope the other day past a T junction
there was a car waiting at the junction and they waited until I was about 5 yards away before they pulled out across me to turn right. But they stopped when they were halfway across my lane and looked annoyed when I called them a cunt as I swerved round their bonnet.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:02, Reply)

They were a cunt, the problem I find is that a lot of drivers and cyclists
will only blame the opposite side, both are as stupid as each other
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I'm always very tolerant of cyclists because I know how worrying it is when someone sits just off your back wheel in a car when your riding.
But some cyclists don't do themselves any favors.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)

One guy properly flipped out at me when I gave him the finger when I went past.
He was cycling two abreast on a narrow road and weaving all over the place to boot. It took me three attempts to get past him safely.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)

You'd think someone who is one side-swipe away
From becoming a red smear on the road would have a better sense of self-preservation.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)

This annoys me so much ow the M25 has been widened
it's like people get scared when presented with the 4th lane and so have to pretend it's only a 2 lane road.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Middle lane drivers should be run over by lorries
I find they braodly fall into two groups, egotistical men who won't move over as they will feel imasculated and women who have no idea where they are or why they shouldn't be in the middle lane.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Short fat women
with thick lensed glasses who have to lean over their steering wheels and peer at the road ahead like they've never seen anything like it before ahead.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:00, Reply)

That sounds like Penfold trying to drive.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:03, Reply)

^this
I've found them to be either dopey women or middle-aged Asian gentlemen.
( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Somebody on another forum really, genuinely, seriously asked
if you still had to keep left on a four lane motorway.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:00, Reply)

On the roads, eh?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I'm actually quite friendly, otherwise.

( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Someone left a note on my windscreen a few years ago asking why I needed 2 spaces to park in at the station. The irony was that I'd had to straddle 2 bays on account of everyone else parking like hopeless cunts before I got there and it was the only space into which I could fit the fucking car.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Complete fuck nuggets do this to me every day
They park a little across my drive, you can still get out, but have to pull out exactly perpendicular to the road and due to the roads camber and the drives dip, the front of my car scapes.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Put down some caltrops, that'll sort it.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:01, Reply)

You drive a van?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)

It has parking sensors because he is a girl

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:01, Reply)

No, my car has parking sensors
my van has bumpers.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:02, Reply)

He can't fit into normal cars, his blubber takes up too much room.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Oh yeah, good point
For a moment there I thought he was being a bloke
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)

You're in no position to judge someone for being blokey.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:07, Reply)

He thinks he is in a better position that AA
Who once went to see Busted, live.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Obi-Wan has taught you well

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Yes, but he only did it the once.
You still dance. Willingly.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)

...with my girlfriend
You wouldn't believe how many examples I could give you of men who're dating women way out of their league because they dance with them.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

You have a point there.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Well, I am
You're Southern, used to play in an orchestra and have two surnames.

You ponce.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

You're using your name and sig to say "Fabulous".

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Jealous, aren't you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:17, Reply)

A double-barrelled member of the proletariat ?
Priceless
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Having a double-barrelled name apparently makes you middle-class
*still boggled by that*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:28, Reply)

It makes you common if it is new and two people thought they'd simply stick them together

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

^ FACTS, ONLINE.
Unless your marriage is an alliance of decent old families, doubling the names up makes you a horrid little prole and the sort of cunt who refers to their house by the spurious name you've given it, rather than by its correct address, '13 Bog Lane, Pikestown, The North'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

No it doesn't
it just means your parents thought they were middle class.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:30, Reply)

It's a small van.
But a van nevertheless.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Is it more or less homosexual than your bike?
Do you ever insert your bike into your van?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I inserted my bike into my van just last week
when I picked up said bike from the bike shop.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:08, Reply)

*snigger*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Haha you've got a gay fiat doblo

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

doblo sounds like euphamism for mong

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I'd sit them down, and have a nice cup of tea with them.
I like tea.

Then, once you've resolved your differences, throw the scalding hot water into his eyes, kick him in the nads, and walk away.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Tea is fucking great.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Drink of Kings, is tea.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:39, Reply)

This cup I'm currently enjoying is simply magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I hear it's medicinal when taken in large quantities.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Is that tea, or brandy?
Gin of course being Satan's piss.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:44, Reply)

I may be talking about wine.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Works for me.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Made me feel a little ill this morning, I was thoroughly unimpressed
This second mug is wonderful though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Brazilian death squad.
Every day my belief that this is the only solution is reinforced.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Hiya Roota, i've not heard from you in AGES
How are you doing? I'm probably going to see your man in a couple of weeks but I hear you won't be coming.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I'm doing alright mate. And you?
I wish Edmund was here. I need some medical advice.

Alas, I cannot attend. I'm going to fucking Cumbria and I don't even want to fucking go.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:47, Reply)

That's fucking outrageous.
You have my deepest sympathies. I'm doing okay thanks, looking forward to going home in about ten minutes. I have new T-Shirts waiting for me at the sorting office too, which is exciting.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:51, Reply)

It is totally depressing.
Ooh what t-shirts??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

You want to kill all women who don't have hair in their knickers?
That's a bit extreme!

Or is it all bald women attacking the bloke?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:50, Reply)

It's not extreme AA
shaving it all off is not empowering, it's just naive. Women like that out to be culled.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:52, Reply)

And fucking itchy................................I've heard.

( girlinthehole, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I can vouch that it is for a man.
Also, fuck it. I'm going to have another cup of tea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

All you're doing now is making Darth look more manly.
He must be loving this right about now.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:59, Reply)

I think the internet just broke
...just for a second
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

I did it to raise money for charity.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Well done
But Darth will be all over this like Harold Shipman on rich old women.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Considering how much it hurts, I argue it can be considered manly.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

At the start
But you're still left with something that resembles Deirdre Barlow's neck.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

What if you wax it rather than shave it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Or use hair removal cream?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:56, Reply)

What about people, who through no fault of their own, have their hair fall out EH AL?
WHAT ABOUT THOSE BALDY, BALDY BASTARDS?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Give 'em a chamois leather to polish their heads.
It's the only way.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

If they work hard, they may even get a good hue on there!
(Yes, I stole it.)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:07, Reply)

(from me)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I know

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Can't have sex with chemo patients, they sweat the drug, you shouldn't really touch anyone with chemo, let alone shag them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

GET ANGRY AL ! GET REALLY ANGRY !
Oh man, I want you to get angry, and then hold me, I'd feel so scared and so at easy at the same time. That's how a fella really wants to feel.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Stick another note on his windscreen, but this time with superglue
He won't get the fucker off. Make the second note sound like it's another person agreeing with your note, and sign it from the MD.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Piss in his windscreen washer fluid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

You know what made me fucking angry today?
Sainsbury's - who really should know fucking better - have a sad little display of awful Father's Day gifts going for next to nothing, including some pathetic chocolate Stratocasters emblazoned with...

DAD ROCK'S

...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Oh dear, you should probably burn the place down

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Preferfably with Jamie Oliver inside it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

I had a wank in the frozen section.
THAT SHOWED THEM.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

jizzicles

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Maybe they were the property of Kid Rock's father, but somehow I doubt it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

he is a well known confectioner...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

He is known as the Willy Wonka of South Detroit
unfortuinately his factory is now shut down adn all of the OOmpa Lumps live in trailers and ply their singing trade on the rap battle scene.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

A purveyor of string based chocolate.
Well, he fiddled with darkies.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Hey, it's cheap chocolate.
You could use it to make brownies or something.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

internet fatty reply

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Soon to be ex fattie, if this diet goes well.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

it won't if you keep making brownies at every opportunity
How much of a fatty are you?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Holy shit, you're fat and a virgin?
That's unfortunate.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

You should totally do one of those motivational conferences they have in Vegas

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

No, just mildly podgy.
Besides, I was built for comfort, not speed.

Besides, it's easier for me to lose weight than for you to gain hair.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Why have you not gone for The Great Grape Ape as your name?
I put it to you that this is a clear indicator of mental retardation - and that you have a micropenis with a horrible growth on it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I cultivate the growth for additional length

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Like an articulated lorry?

(berk, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Please go and read SuperSam11's girlfriend's blog in QOTW.
It's proper rage inducing.

/unrelated.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

What a retard, why would he linnk that?
why would she write such utter driveling shit?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Fucking unbelievable.
I reckon he is 19 and wears a shiny suit to work.

She is currently in the lavatories of my office taking on all comers!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Another bad day for George Micheal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)

In certain lights it can be used to trick ladies into thinking you've a full 2.6cm of penis available.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

In ten years time
places like Sainsbury's will have gifts for Sunday, due to having mined every other pointless little "holiday" for commercial value. I look forward to receiving my weekly "Happy Sunday! Enjoy washing the car!" cards.
( Kroney, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

"Happy Suicide"
Sorry to hear that you're leaving
Soon we will all be grieving
But we'll split all your stuff
bury you in the buff
and drink at the wake till we're heaving
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Goodbye to you, dear Uncle Fred
You piss-smelling cunt, we're glad you're dead
You didn't even have any decent gear
So rot in hell, you rancid queer.

Lots of love, The Johnsons (and Timmy the cat!)

xx
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Something tells me you actually wrote this to someone...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

It's quite, quite beautiful isn't it?
It's Wordsworth, don't you know?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)