Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Lunch up y'allWhat romantic things have you done for someone or had done to you? This is no way designed to inspire me to think of something to do on my wedding anniversary
Alt: Flightless birds, sweet throw backs to a simpler time or evolution fodder?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:37,
220 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Gazzed cock picsAlt: sweet evolution fodder.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:40,
Reply)
Not sure if you'd call it romanticbut I bought my ex wife a day's rally driving lesson for her birthday, with a stay in a nice hotel the night before.
She seemed to like it.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:41,
Reply)
Pretty much a guaranteed winnerin most circumstances.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
Did you happen to notice my glass coffee table?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:52,
Reply)
I can't remember Gonz.Too interested in the food to be honest.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
Well, with glass coffee tables, they're great if one person wants to stand over it and someone else wants to lay face-up under it.=D
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:03,
Reply)
I didn't think it was that great but....Once when stuck for a soppy gift for my wife I made a CD of all the music we had chosen for our wedding day, then named the tracks after the appropriate part of the day it corresponded with.
I realise this is pretty much making a mixtape to impress a girl when you are 17, but she liked it anyway.
Alt: More successful than swimless fish.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
I've dug through all our photos and had all the ones of me and herprinted in a book, just wondering what to do on the day a bit...
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:46,
Reply)
Treasure huntLeave her a trail of clues around the house to lead her to her present. If you put lots of thought into the writing of said clues, with detail pertinent to your relationship, she'll think it's lovely. Girls like that "thought" stuff
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:47, Reply)
If the present is your penis with a bow on then this may disappoint her.Just saying.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
Nice idea, might be a short treasure hunt in our one bed flat though!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:50,
Reply)
Put the present in your pants and play "warmer, colder"(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:55,
Reply)
This is an excellent ideaand I choose to take some small degree of credit for it
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:56, Reply)
...unless the 'thought' is 'the stupid bitch likes any old shit so this second hand Westlife CD will do fine'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
Some guy did this on an american reality/dating showHe was in the first group of guys to be sent home. Not before having to hold the box around his crotch all evening first though.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
Penguins fly in the sea, yo.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:51,
Reply)
I fucking love penguins me, they're awesome.I can't help but wonder what they taste like. Especially the Emperor Penguin, have you see the size of their breasts? I like breasts.
(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:52,
Reply)
I bet they taste like fatty goose that's been cooked with anchovies(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
I propose an expeditionYou could make it a stop off point on the way to see your bird.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:54,
Reply)
I'd imagine they taste like chocolate covered biscuit.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:54,
Reply)
Isn't your missus about to unleash a mini-Ape upon the world?I suggest you make this anniversary a blinder mate, the next 11 or 12 will be drowned out by an excitable youngster illustrating loudly what it would like for its birthday.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 12:57, Reply)
yeah but, she is not very mobile, gets very tired and is rather self consciousso it needs to be fairly genteel really; it's also a Sunday.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
Make her a really nice lunchthen present her with a new pair of rubber gloves and washing up sponge for afterwards.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
Good ideaMake it extra-special; tell her you didn't even dip into her housekeeping allowance to buy said cleaning goods
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:04, Reply)
It's a winner in my book.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
self concious because she's a massive lumpor because she has to admit to sleeping with you?
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
Oh, are you a fellow member of the "my woman is far too good for me" club?(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:04, Reply)
/obvious gay jibe is obvious
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:06, Reply)
Actually no, we are pretty even I reckonWe both love and drive each other mad in equal amounts and are similarly presented
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:06,
Reply)
You keep telling yourself thatto justify just how whipped you are.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:06,
Reply)
No, get a quality girl who is out of leagueand destroy all her self esteem until she's resigned herself to a lifetime with you. Sorted.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
A quality girl robbed of her self-esteem is a quality girl no longerLooks fade and boobies sag. So I'm told.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)
YesBut you have to be careful how many fingers you break during the subjugation
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)
I don't want to put bert-esque images in your headbut that's pretty much what happened to me.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
Would you say that you are whipped? Or are you your own man who does what he wants, when he wants?.... that and other verious conversations that could lead to an arguement.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:12,
Reply)
Sorry Gonz, are you talking to DJ or me?In my case; yes and no in that order. As has been repeatedly pointed out, I am punching well above my weight.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:14, Reply)
He's trying to release Roota from my shacklesGonz is a noble gentlemanly sort you see.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:16,
Reply)
Oh, the Lusty tacticAt least he doesn't discern amongst B3tans
*adds Gonz to list of B3tans who will never meet Ms Foxtrot*
That's a hell of a list
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)
So he's hedging his bets with your fiancee and your sister?Maybe it's you he wants. Have you thought about that?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
Haha, I love the replies to this like you've all only _just_ worked out that I really really just want to have an affair with pretty much anyone on here who's female.But naturally I'm only being serious about [name], and everyone else I'm joking about. Yeah' baby, it's you I want, I'm just harmlessly flirting with everyone else, they have self esteem issues and I thought I'd help out.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
Oh wow, oh my goodness, I have an uncanny ability to cockblock myself.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
He's the one I'm trying to split up with his misses, not you*Don't get me wrong though, I think she'd be quite hurt by that, I don't want that. I figure they're deeply besotted with each other, which means you can get away with most things. I reckon she could get away with a sorired affair and he'll take her back, he'd be mad not too, so really no-harm-no-foul. It makes sense really, could bring them closer together or something, I don't know. I'm just being incredably self serving.
* "... you'll do that all on your own." is what I wrote after that, more for the harsh-lulz. I don't really know anything aside The Three Facts about you.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
AAAND, and, if she does have an affair, then he'll be able to throw it up in arguements....... "I MAY HAVE FOGOTTEN TO PICK UP THE BREAD ON THE WAY HOME, BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T FORGET TO HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH GONZ", I'll be doing him a favour really.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
Allow me to furnish you with some moreI really like football
My mental arithmetic skills are excellent but nonetheless of zero use to me
My missus is too good for me
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20, Reply)
If your mental arithmetic is so good, what's the two highest numbers you can think of and add them up, in your head?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
I had to google this, but here you go...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transfinite_number
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:29,
Reply)
I wasn't suggesting you actually blind herWhich anniverary is it? If the prospect of spending a day doing as little as possible and relaxing whilst being waited on hand and foot by a doting husband fills her with joy, then I suggest what I just said there.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:03, Reply)
i think this may be the answer!it's our 1st wedding anniversary, but we'll have been together 9 years in October...bloody hell
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
Took you long enough to do the right thing, you CADNo hypocrisy to see here. Move along.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:05, Reply)
Well we got engaged after 6 years2 at Uni
1 pissing about after Uni
1 where she was in France for 6 months
2 in london; I then proposed as I had good job and we'd bought a flat together
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
Good for youI'm not really in any position to point fingers, with 9 years, 4 months and 27 days on the clock and nary a proposal in sight.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:09, Reply)
There's a house made of CAKE?!And you can visit it?!! WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE WHERE
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:06, Reply)
There's the Black Cat cafe in Cambridge(if it hasn't shut down)
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
DF's more interested in the Black Cap in Camden.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:09,
Reply)
YOU'D KNOWDo they have cheese and crackers as well?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
HahaEdit: I disagree, the joke was obvious. The over the top, Chompyesque explanation made me genuinely laugh.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
Plus 'CHUTNEY BAR' is in itself a comical term, I'd say.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
And it's made of cake?I'll need this verifying before I hop on a train. I used to spend a lot of time in Cambridge and I don't remember any buildings made of cake. And I would definitely remember a building made of cake.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Bought someone a book of C11th Persian love poetry*.*then booted their back doors in
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
"A crimson sky, the wail of crows.
A beauty stopped to glance in his direction.
Ajahlad noticed the girl revealing her naked toes
So he stoned her to death with stones..."
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:12,
Reply)
*blubs*That's beautiful, man.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:13,
Reply)
Sarah Beeny never struck me as the poetry type.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
I would recommend arranging something really hot and steamy for herEmpty the kettle over her.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:07, Reply)
Post her a 'bot dog', and don't scrimp on the 'chef's special sauce'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
SaucyIf she really loves you, she'll pop the solid bits in the fridge and violate you with the resulting "organic dildo."
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Do you think Tony Bliar was into Space Docking?I only ask as the papers always said he was with his
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:11,
Reply)
If you'll correct the ham-fisted misuse of html in your postI'll dignify it with a laugh
Edit: That's better.
*chuckles in a satirical fashion*
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:12, Reply)
I don't see why we're paying for something like 6 police shifts a day for his house in London when he's never even there.... yet we don't do that for other ex-PMs.Well, I do, because he was such a cunt that he needs protecting.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
I'd happily pay for themif they were there to prevent him ever leaving his house.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:16, Reply)
I once was given some roses. It made me feel awkward. alt: I fucking love penguins, me. Are penguins actually birds? I'm not sure, I'm hungover.
I also love giraffes, they're not birds. But they're flightless.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:16,
Reply)
I once had a one night stand with a guy, he didn't kiss me the entire time, and then after got all offended when I didn't kiss him bye.I don't know why I felt I should share this.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
'How does he spell?''AWFUL'
LOL!!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
In order to make this joke work on two levelsWe should chop his nose off.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:20, Reply)
I'll bet they can all spell 'weird', though.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:19,
Reply)
It was the typical "I'm a muh fuggen playa" sort of guy, I just thought it was pretty fucking stupid not to do it while we were doing it then to be all "you ain't gon kiss me goodnight?"
are you trying to make me feel better, or yourself?
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
This suggests he has a mother complex. The "player" persona is merely a front to hide this.You should have pointed this out to him in the hope that all his issues would come flooding back, causing him to break down in tears, and allowing you to take full control of him with just a "kiss goodnight."
(I never read Freud in any detail...)
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)
I like your reasoningFYI penguins are very much birds.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
Waited outside her Uni at 9PMwith a hot cup of coffee after I knew she'd had a long day at work followed by a long class and would be particularly tired and appreciate the coffee.
Might have been better If i'd been outside the right building, but that would have spoiled the surprise. :(
Totally failed to get laid.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
You are the worst stalker ever, you are certainly no Barry George(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
I prefer to call him Barry Bulsara.It's what Freddy would have wanted.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
And what us 'Justice for Barry' experts always call our Prince of Hearts.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
I'd like a commerorative plate with him and Princess Diana on(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:30,
Reply)
I saw him in London Fields once.This is my best-ever name drop - for once I was genuinely excited.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
I have to say, if some weirdo bint ambushed me with a cup of fucking coffee outside my lessonI'd probably punch them as hard as I could in the fucking tits.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
I'd force them to gulp it down whilst it was still boiling, then make them eat the cup.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
we were dating at the time if that helpsit's not how I introduced myself to her or anything.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
Got Friday off so I could get cook for/get drunk with/make tunes with/do sex with them on Thursday night and not worry about getting up for work(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
And then steal the wheels from your car...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
Milton Keynes soul crushing mediocrity strikes again(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
Nearly every romantic gesture in my youth ended with soul crushing mediocrity.Just do something you think she'll like and you'll like, most traditional romantic gestures are boring and impersonal.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)
trueand to be honest i wasn't expecting much from a bunch of sweaty internet vigins, stalkers and rapists. But we need to chat about something.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
You might be if ever you met a girl with low enough standards to let you practice(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:23, Reply)
I was referencing thisfarm5.static.flickr.com/4017/5074970366_8ff4cda999.jpg
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)
I washed most of the AIDS off my helmet before bumming them into the middle of next week.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
you seem to have cheered up since this morningdid you wipe your arse with your boss's sandwich?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
I wiped my skiddy arse on the doorhandles of his Aston Martin.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:30,
Reply)
I don't think anyone has ever done anything meltingly romantic for me.mr b3th's surprise proposal after ten years of being shacked up together is about the closest he's got to romantic.
For his 65th birthday I did a pretty cool present though. It involved weeks of effort, and isn't really something that can be replicated, so I won't bore you with details.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
It really is a long and tedious gift to explainbut Darth can back me up that it was awesome, as I have already bored him with the details of said gift.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
Okay, he's away from the internet at the momentbut when asked to clarify the awesomeness of the gift in question, he said I can tell you all that it really fucking was.
So there.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
It really fucking wasI'm not just saying that, I was genuinely amazed by the level of thought b3th put into this gift.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)
"for his 65th birthday" ! That implies it was in the past. Which means he's over 65. And you said the other day you were in your 30s.And DJTP is like 25 or whatever, which means there must be quite a big age gap between you two. and Oh my, it must mean you truley believe "Age is just a number", which means that I'm in a chance with you (because aside age, I can't think of a single sole other reason why not) .
My goodness, I'm spactackuarily good at leaping lodgic.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
Aw, bless you Gonz. Don't ever use your powers for evil, please.Yes, he is 66 and I am 37. DJ is OVER 30, and don't let him tell you otherwise.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
He's breaking the rules, half your age + 7 means that you're 3 years too young for him, it'll never work out.However, I can go up to 47 currently (same rule in reverse).... just so you know.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
My mate Matt calls his wife his brown eyed girland leaves post its all over the house saying things like "I love you, my brown eyed girl" and it makes me want to puke every time I see it
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:25,
Reply)
is that because he spends so much time in her "brown eye"?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
Oooh I haven't heard that song in ages!I must rectify this immediately.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:29,
Reply)
"rectify?"Was that the third in a series of increasingly subtle anal sex jokes?
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Van Morrison has been a shit-awful cunt-end since he left the superb Them in the 60s.Astral fucking Weak more like. And don't get me started about fucking 'Moondance'. Fucking 'Mooncup' more like: it's GASH and he's a tedious, self-important padraig with fuck all to back it up.
THE CUNT.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
Well, I like that one tooSo up yours, you rancid old tramp.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:35,
Reply)
'Gloria' is a fucking tune. 'I Can only Give You Everything' is a fucking tune.The two 'numbers' listed above are hideously bent.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
Well, I don't care. I like them.I'm a girl, I'm allowed to like shit music. I can also listen to Michael Buble, and I'm not embarrassed about it.
EDIT: but you're right about Gloria. I've just got that one for my ipod too.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
I liked Here Comes The Night myselfbut than I like his later stuff too, and so am clearly bent.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
bought my parents tickets to see him a few years ago in the Colston Hall, he walked on stage 30 mins late, rambled something into the microphone and walked off the other side pissed as a cunt
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
Is that your 'WOW' battlecry?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
THEY'RE GOOD CHRISTIAN FOLK THEY DON'T DO THAT SORT OF THING
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
Christian folk are perviest of all the folk(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
they became holy rollers AFTER they got married cheaters
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
I bet they are well boring/smug/ boring now(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
True! I never see them and they've no real interest in talking to me now.Probably because I'm a "sinner". Or maybe they just don't like me anymore.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
It is my anniversary too.Card: Done
Flowers: Done
Morning phone call: Done
Its about as romantic as it gets.
Alt: Flightless birds, what a bunch of cunts.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
*grabs a piece of printer paper, folds it scrappily in half and rummages through desk drawer for box of coloured pencils*(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I'm sure I remember reading somewhereThat Tony Blair used to do that. And the witch he is married to thought it was romantic.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
I used to always make our anniversary cards...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
Then what are you waiting for, man? Get to the paper ream and nigger stationery immediately!
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:40, Reply)
those two are freakyI nearly vomited upon hearing the Leo conception story.
(
djtrialprice, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:40,
Reply)
The queen won't let them back in to Balmoral in case they do it again.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
Not a Clinton one, that just says you think they are shit too.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
0o0o0o0oh, speaking of numbers on here, Mark Zackburg did a wicked fact yesterday, if you could fold a paper in half on itself 50 times.. it would reach the moon and back.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:40,
Reply)
It's an example of exponential growth.Lets say a piece of paper is 1mm thick fold it (double it) 10 times, it's 51cm thick, 20 times it's over a km thick by 50 it's 562949953421 km's thick.
(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:50, Reply)
That would be 6ish cm, i think I've massively overestimated the thickness of a piece of paper.(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)
No, no, I genuinely mean thank you.I really didn't understand it until you explained it.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
Surely if it reached the moonit would by definition reach back too?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
The most romantic thing someone has ever done for me is to sleep in the wet patch.(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:51,
Reply)
When a lady and a man have sex the man ejaculates a fluid into the vagina.Some of it dribbles out of the lady and onto the sheets thus causing a wet stain.
It's not very nice to have to sleep on it afterwards.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
for fuck sake how much fucking dribbles out for it to be considered a wet patch?I assumed it was when the man pulled out and didn't ejaculate in you that would cause the wet spot.
(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
Tell ya whatIn addition to screaming "Kristine with a K!" next time I am with a lady, I shall also attempt to make the wet patch "K" shaped.
I think this should be the new answer to 'Most romantic thing you've ever done for someone'
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
You can't quanitfy that sort of thing K.It's either wet, damp or dry.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
Really?Must be a help with not having to wash sheets all the time.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:16,
Reply)
Well I tend to use condoms. I don't take birth control pills because they're made of hatred and evil.(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
When you get to her age, you don't always manage to get to the toilet in the middle of the night.(, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Poor Blousieyou have no luck with men, do you?
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
Best planIt's that or go back to your lesbian ways. I've occasionally though if I fancied men at all I'd rather be gay, wimmins are confusing.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
I'm not confused.Unless you start talking about long division.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
I said confusingNot confused, but you seem less odd-in-the-head than most, I think it's coz you iz an Undercover German Lezzer, innit?
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 7 Jul 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »