Long thread is very long
What's your ideal house? Who would live there with you? Where would it be?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:06, 227 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Jeff Bridges house.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Would you wait for him to get home then jump him?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)

He'd like totally jump me because I'm so sexy.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:13, Reply)

He wouldn't need to come home
cos he wouldn't have left teh house in the first place, on account of you being so sexy!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Innit!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

You knows it
In other news, ASDA is full of pikeys and chavs. As usual.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Same the world over.
I only usually venture into the one near work first thing in the morning for the milk.
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

Alec Baldwins house

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:11, Reply)

I'm a bit of a sucker for a Baldwin
it's the dark brown floppy hair and the light blue eyes.

Well, you know, the Baldwins when they were hot. Not these days.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:14, Reply)

I like the fat and old Alec.
It's my thing.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:17, Reply)

What's that film with Meg Ryan where she swapped places with the old guy?
Whichever Baldwin that was, was cute.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:21, Reply)

IMDb says it was Prelude to a Kiss
and it was Alec
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:22, Reply)

you can have young alec

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)

My ideal house has two staircases,
lots of higgledy piggledy corners, split levels, a massive kitchen and a pantry.

And someone to clean it for me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:15, Reply)

I think a hobbit hole
with a nuclear bunker below it would suit me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:17, Reply)

You're too tall for a hobbit hole.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Well, to scale obviously
bud the same design, just with higher celings, got a picture some where.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Lots of wood and an open fire?

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

yup
and under ground but with lots or windows and mice views.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)

mice tend to be quite
left-wing with their politics. They're electing a new Squeaker of the House next week, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)

Oh dear
I should totally ninja and make you look wimsical.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:31, Reply)

And a handmade patchwork quilt cover on the bed.
*likes doing patchwork*
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

OK, there can be a quilt
if that's what it takes to entice you in. as a wise friend once said "give 'em and inch and they're usually quite happy with that"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)

i hear Blousie needs more than an inch to be happy...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Width yes. Length no.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Reminds me of a Roy chubby Brown joke
Not usually a fan but this one stuck with me.

I have no luck with women because of the size of my cock. it's Three inches and most women can't take it that wide.

now I come to repeat it I suspect it's shit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)

It is shit.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:39, Reply)

fairy snuff
I shall never repeat it again.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)

Yay!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I think I'd be more of a Rivendell girl

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

That's coz you is an elven hippy innit.
I'd be more of a dwarf I reckon.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)

then surely you should be in the mines of Moria?
careful of Rory, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Maybe in their hay day
not now though, they're all darksome
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

the tardis
lots of space and I could visit whoever/wherever/whenever I wanted whenever I wanted
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Cavy!
Guess what! I buyed a pizza! It's a Goodfellas though, because I like them the best. They didn't have any of the kind you like.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:20, Reply)

oh man! I'm still hungry
and I can't face making or buying food. I might just die of hungryness at this rate
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:21, Reply)

Eat the piggies
or just their balls. Save on vets' bills.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

oh man! I thought you were a good person!
also: pig balls are pretty small
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:24, Reply)

I thought I was a good person too.
Are you telling me you've never been tempted? Not even a little bit?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)

not even a smidgeon
the hair would get in your teeth
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)

Is there a chippy within staggering distance?
or a good takeaway?

I think you can totally justify the expense.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)

I'd have to get in the car
also, I thought I'd leave takeaways for tomorrow when it's the end of term (and I'm technically an unemployed bum)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

My mate is going to Peru
at some point, but is going to have to invent a good excuse to avoid the bit of the trip that involves eating roasted Guinea pig

truefact
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

I would be torn between sobbing
and trying to look 'ard in front of the locals
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)

I think she's going to claim judaism
and that they ain't Kosher. apparently the local efnics do not savy vegetarian.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

The pier.
Weston Super Mare.

b3th would be banned, not that she'd notice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

hehehe!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

This one. These people. Just here.
Next.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Sounds dull.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:24, Reply)

You sound like you're wearing women's support underwear and wanking into a royal wedding mug.
It's amazing what you can hear on the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Yes on the underwear.
No on the royal wedding mug.


Listen more carefully next time.
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)

Fuck.
It's one of those insulated Ubuntu mugs that neck-bearded flabmasters use, isn't it? You dirty dirty dirty dirty bastard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)

I just bought my dream house,*
It's going to take me months to get it up to scratch, (once I'm able to do the work) but it's where i want to live, in the town i love, with a lovely garden, near the river, by the meadow. Can't think of anything else i want really.

I want to get a lovely Dog, and live there with Mrs, Pig, if she'll have me, haven't asked yet.

_{Ok, so dream house in the actual attainable sense.}
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:19, Reply)

it all sounds idyllic

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

It won't last.
It never does.
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)

This is my fear,
but if i don't try it when i have the means to do so, then I'm clearly and idiot and a coward.
Also, I really want a dog.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

might as well enjoy it while it does last, though, right?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:31, Reply)

eggzakertily

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Bizarrely
I was looking on rightmove today at houses I could buy in London if I won the euromillions. It'd have a big garden (or roof terrace if in London) a pool, a gym, and a fucking awesome kitchen. It'd also have a room full of musical instruments and another room which is full of cushions and crazy lighting for getting wasted in. It'd probably be somewhere between Bristol and Bath - close enough to the M4 corridor to get to London or Bristol easily, but close enough to decent beaches that I could learn to surf.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:23, Reply)

Oh yeah
I want a swimming pool too. I forgot that bit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)

Have a look at Kelston, that's between Bristol and Bath, see also Bitton
Apparently that twunt from Deal or No Deal lives there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:25, Reply)

What, the Banker?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)

This is all massively reliant on me having millions of pounds to spend, you realise
ie, it'll never fucking happen. I'll be lucky to get on the property ladder before I'm 30, and even then it'll only be a poxy one-bed flat.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)

30 is the new 20.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)

Just to be clear, 36 is also the new 20.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:27, Reply)

46 is the new 30.

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

yay
I'm 19
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Paul Hardcastle lolz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:39, Reply)

It'll bloody have to be.
30 is a mere four years and a day away...
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Good work berk.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TOMORROW!!

Is TC taking you anywhere nice?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

We're going out for dinner and drinks with some friends on friday
tomorrow I will make risotto and he will bring cheesecake.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)

Lovely.
Are you expecting a special gift, or do you think he'll take the cheap option and just present you with a gift voucher for a cheap tennis lesson?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)

He was moaning incessantly that I'm hard to buy for
which isn't true at all, I'm ridiculously easily pleased. I gave him some ideas and he said they were all too cheap and boring, despite protestations that I'd be happy with just going out to dinner, or even just staying in for dinner if he brought the wine and the dessert. From what I know I suspect he's bought something fairly expensive but I haven't the first fecking clue what it is.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)

He might get you a telly so he can watch Match of the Day when he comes over.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:47, Reply)

I have a tv
I just don't have a license. Also, he doesn't like football.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Well I'm sure you'll have a lovely time, and he'll have put lots of effort and thought into the day.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

^this
I hope he puts as much care into your birthday as you did into his. And he knows you a lot better now than you knew him back then.

Personally, I'm expecting at least diamond studded chocolate.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

I don't know what you're on about, I did FUCK ALL for Tennis Coach when it was his birthday.
I've never even met him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)

Why do you consider property ownership so important?
This is an open question to everyone by the way. It's one of these peculiarly English obsessions I've never understood.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)

For my parents, the ability to sell up and move to a whole range of other places, and Independence from the state.
Also, Property ownership is in a wider sense the whole basis of modern economics.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)

You do realise you can move to a whole range of other places and be independent from the state if you rent, yes?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

And, I suppose, to gain equity.
Ultimately, when a mortgage is paid off, people just like the thought of owning a house.
It also gives more of an Incentive to make the house look nice and decorate, add a loft conversion, conservatory.
Go down any council estate and you can tell which are the private houses.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)

I don't, particularly
working in science, I'll never be earning enough to get a mortgage on my own for the kind of place I'd be happy to live in. So I've more or less given up on the idea, to be honest.
If I were to settle down and raise a family though, I'd prefer to own rather than rent as 1) a lot of rented places get funny about kids and babies, 2) I'd want the security of owning the place and being able to change what I wanted. You don't get that with rented flats, it's all magnolia and shit carpets.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

...and the landlord suing you
after they lied about the contract

or is that just me?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

For me it was purely the idea that i had the freedom to change the house to what i wanted.
When tied in to Landlords it's rare (at least around here) to be able to anything except put up pictures and maintain it as it is.
I was lucky to come in to some money, and thought, fuck it, it's not much more than my rent is now, and it will be fun to design a house fro the bottom up.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

It's not really that important.
But in the majority of cases, by the time you've paid off your mortgage, your house is worth considerably more than you'd have paid for it, meaning you've got an asset to leave to any kids you might have. Given that there is a lack of social housing, in years to come being of 'stock' that owns property will probably open more doors and opportunity than those who have to pay the market rate to rent somewhere.

Add to that, if you rent, you are paying rent for life. If you have a mortgage (aside from moves/remortgaging) you are technically 'rent free' after 25 years, which makes econimic sense.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:37, Reply)

This
you basically pay the same amount, but after a bit you own it. Rent is dead money and all that.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Yeap, and you're paying for someone else to own it more often than not.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)

It could very much be both security and a millstone around someone's neck.
I know my expenses are halfed by buying a place and all the money resulting from the purchase of property, however, I have an initial outlay which oblitorates all of my savings which is just going on a mortgage. I guess it's like mass-purchasing, I'm buying like 20 year's (or whatever) rent in one bosh.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:39, Reply)

It's becoming less so
And renting is far less of a social stigma than it was even twenty years ago.

In Belgium and Holland only about 25% of people ever own a home.

Naturally I'm a little biased here as my money comes from rented property...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)

Yay! TD
How was Old Trafford? I managed to catch the highlights, it looked like the best game of the series.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Yes that's the way it looked to me too.
It turned out that I didn't have a ticket, having been offered one in January and turned it down for Trent Bridge, which I didn't go to.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Ouch.
That must have stung a bit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

Found out on Friday night
When I rang my mate to find out where we were meeting.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)

That's even worse.
Especially as you drove last time. Were you not tempted to go anyway and pick up a spare ticket outside?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Considered it
But I'd have been paying silly prices and I have this odd thing that when I go to cricket I actually quite like to sit and watch it with my mates.

Also I got mightily ratted on Friday night.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Do you have any other cricket trips in the pipeline?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Twenty Twenty semis/final at Edgbaston in August.
Would like to have done one of the India tests but none of my happily married cricket-watching buddies could make them.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Oh Berk, you're so gee oh gosh oh my, just downright, darn it, well, just simply swell.
I think I would also go for a nice place in central london with a swimmingpool and view of the thames and not more than 10 minute walk from Kensington High Street or maybe Oxford Street.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Small stone cottage high up in the Pennines, probably somewhere round Holmfirth, and I'd have myself for company.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:26, Reply)

Oh my God.
You are me.
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)

I'm going to bury you in a cairn.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

I'm going to rape your face.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

My face is made out of a big pile of rocks.
You'd like that, wouldn't you? You fucking rubblefucker.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Good thing my knob's shaped like a chisel then isn't it?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

This is the best sexchat I've had all day.
I bet you've got bollocks like lump hammers clanging together as you pummel my gravely gob.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)

They're hollow spheroids made of a tungsten-tin alloy.
When they knock together they sound like very small, very resonant church bells.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

If we fucked in the woods people would think it was Brigadoon.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)

A huge fireproof Mansion in Meirionnydd. Just me, my best mates, and a bunch of underwear/glamour models. (between the ages of 16 and 24)

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

What a fat fucking virgins answer

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

+ by 'mates' you mean your online paedo ring

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

How can he be a paedo if he's still a child himself?

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Dude, he's spent the whole day dribbling over 12 year olds at school

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)

Fear not though as he'll be free to carry on posting on these hallowed pages as apparently the law isn't interested in teen nonces and Juliet was 14 after all
The much vaunted 'Shakespeare' defence as used by such luminaries as Ian Huntley and Gary Glitter
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:40, Reply)

Besides, he probably thinks victims of sexual abuse deserve to be exploited because of their weakness.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)

It's a good job that he's an unlikable chubby cunt

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)

i1080.photobucket.com/albums/j335/rockcbsman/Smiling.jpg
Where did you get the idea that I'm overweight.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)

You look like a young Michael McIntyre
just sayin'.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)

So do a lot of people

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

He's a well known chubby cunt freefair
You're a chubby cunt too
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

including Michael McIntyre when he was young.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Michael McIntyre in mascara and blusher.
Christ on a bike, I've actually disgusted myself now. Thanks for that. Thanks a lot.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Michael Mcintyre is less of an irritating twat though.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Is he?
At least this prick has the excuse of being a desperate virgin whose parents won't let him leave the house until he graduates from university with a strained 2:2 in accountancy. There is no excuse for Michael Mcintyre. None. Not one.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)

Accountancy is a bit of a stretch, don't you think?
I reckon he's more the sort of wanker who will do sociology.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Sociology?
Media Studies maybe.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Never.
Maths or Economics for me, maybe even PPE if the uni offers it.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:02, Reply)

Hahaha oh fucking hell.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I'm predicted a GCSE A* in Maths so there.

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)

Oh god, please stop.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

oh god,
So there? really? you're using so there? HHAHAHAHAHA!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

Never mind that
the only subject with a steeper learning curve between GCSE and A Level than Maths is Chemistry. A* at GCSE doesn't mean shit either, you need about 60% on the higher tier exam to get that.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)

A predicted A*, no less.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)

This is true,
he's fucked, i hope he's still posting in a few years so we get to witness the breakdown as he sees the disapointment in his fathers face when he comes home with his results.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Friends of mine have done their Maths AS, they're in an accelerated group, I was just in the top group for GCSE Higher Maths.
I've looked at their work and it's not that hard.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Can you come hang out on the /Talk board some more?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)

I heard board crossing was taboo.

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)

At this point you'll struggle to look like more of a nob.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

do you believe everything you read on the internet?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:54, Reply)

I didn't say AS Level, I said A Level.
You're definitely fucked if that's the level of attention you pay.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

He won't have a choice.
He'll go to the nearest university so that he can stay at home and he'll study what his daddy tells him to study. My money would be on accountancy or pharmacy at an ex-poly. Daddy is still hoping for medicine but realism will soon be kicking in.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I'll try for the best uni possible.
Wawrick or Bath are very good, I hear, or Aber.
Nothing wrong with Wolvo or Brum though.
(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:04, Reply)

You'll get rejected across the board there.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)

I've heard Salford's a good laugh.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

I heard that too.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

Hahaha.
I know that university admissions have become more lax than your grandmother's twat, but if either of those offer you a place then the education system of this entire country is fucked.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

please don't come to wales

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)

I can see him the sort that comes to Oxford Brookes (ex poly here, not bad, but not great)
and yet when anyone asks he says that he's at Oxford University.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)

like me accidentally implying I work for swansea uni
i don't
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Looks to me like you're an idiot from the blank grin and empty eyes.
But what do i know?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

I was just posing

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

A bit more effort and you could elevate yourself to drooling retard.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

you do look a bit chubby lad

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

hahahaha awesome
oh mercy me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

wear age
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)

they'd take all your money and once you were penniless they'd fuck off

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Toys and sweets are not cheap these days. Barbie dresses won't buy themselves

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)

oh man, I love Barbies

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)

Sindy is better.
Sindy all the way.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

that's a stupid way to spell Cindy
unless she's like the Naughty Barbie, and so it's spelled Sindy because it has "sin" in
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Sindy rocked!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)

She was horrible to Ian Beale.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:02, Reply)

are you kidding?
if that's not a "don't act like you're on drugs" face then I don't know what is
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:02, Reply)

I remember Sindy.
Much better than Barbies. Fuller figure too.
( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Romper suits aren't classed as underwear and you aware that
A parent or guardian will be with all these toddler models. You sick cunt.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)

I bet you all had to look up Meirionnydd, didn't you? :-P

(888777555, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)

No one cares...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:45, Reply)

I don't think anyone is impressed that you have heard of a place the others may not have heard of
because we're not 12.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)

You will never ever ever lose your virginity.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

I thought he'd slipped it to a 14 year old, the dirty nonce.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)

I like my new flat.
Starting to relax a bit and leave the house for more than 15 minutes before worrying that it'll be broken into.

I would love to live in Kennington. Or Fitzrovia. The nice bit, obviously.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)

What was the story with the squatters, did they leave quietly, or did you have to get punchy?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:42, Reply)

Police were involved
They actually used it as a bolthole while escaping from another squat. Still had enough time to unscrew all the windows and smoke weed.
I think they've been arrested. I'm horribly stressed. I should sue. Or something.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:44, Reply)

If they are of no fixed abode, it'll probably be difficult telling them you want to take action.
Glad it's all resolved though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)

I wouldn't sue. I'm a nervy person most of the time anyway.
Crow built me stuff. It feels like a proper home now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Good stuff.
Have you started your new job now (I'm sure you said you had a new job), if so, what are you doing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)

Yeah, beginning of the second week now
Just admin stuff, really, playing with a database, scanning photos, answering the phone, being helpful, yada yada yada. My officemates are lovely and the pay is good. I'm happy!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Glad it's going well and you're enjoying it!
And good pay is always a winner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:56, Reply)

Yay!

( girlinthehole, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Is Char with you?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)

She's back home.
Sorry.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Oh, I thought she was moving today too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

She was
She's gone home to get more stuff
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:53, Reply)

So she'll be back?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Have you got a special house-warming gift sorted Gonz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

dick in a box

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Matchbox.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)

No, but I'll have get one if I'm ever invited over.
What sort of thing should I get?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

I've never met Lampy or her flatmate, so I don't know.
Howabout you cook something for them, and then clean the kitchen.

People would like that as a gift.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I think I would like to do that very much, what sort of thing should I cook?
Lampers is very nice, last time I saw her she seemed very happy with life, which is always lovely. Char is very pretty and cool to talk too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)

I don't know Gonz.
Maybe do a 'can't cook, won't cook' thing, but asking them to choose one main ingredient for the start, one main ingredient for the main and one for the desert.

So if they said, 'ham' starter, 'lamb' main and 'fruit' desert you could then make whatever you wanted based on that info.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Oh wow, that'll be a good theme for my next dinner party.
I would like to do another one early next month.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

So if you were asked to start with a 'ham' based dish, followed by a lamb dish and then a fruit pudding...
What would you make?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Chorizo (yeah, I'm counting that as ham) in red wine to start
followed by, ooh, I dunno, moussaka, then you could have crumble for dessert. Or use your ice cream maker and have cherry and Kirsch ice cream.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:15, Reply)

ham sandwich
followed by kebab and a piece of fruit

I can totally cook
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Shish!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

There is no excuse for not trying
you ought to give it a go, it really isn't hard.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

except it's dull and boring
and my brain won't work in a way which helps assemble food into meals.

also, fuck it, I live on my own
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Well I suppose if you don't enjoy it...
personally I find it very relaxing and enjoyable. But there we go. And also, I live on my own, that's not an excuse either!
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

I can't cook and don't want to cook.
I can't swim either.

Sometimes I have fleeting pangs of inadequacy about these shortcomings but not so that I lose any sleep.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:29, Reply)

If you get hungry on a sinking boat you're fucked.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:30, Reply)

It'd be a bugger trying to keep the oven going.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Chorizo would be perfectly acceptable berk.
I don't have an ice cream maker though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I do.
it's ace. I made brown bread ice cream the other day; it's lush.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

You said, and I can't imagine what it would taste like.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Right, if you lightly toasted a piece of brown bread
with a little sugar on it, and then put a slice of decent vanilla ice cream in the middle... a bit like that. It's really really nice.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Sounds interesting.
I've never put sugar on bread, but brown bread ice-cream sounds like he sort of thing you'd get in the sort of restaurant you'd go to on special occasion.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)

That's where I first had it
a marvellous restaurant in Birmingham that the ex and I went to for an anniversary. Theirs was better than mine, I must admit, but mine wasn't bad...
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

HUMMM.... *thinks*, I think I'll make it greek, and this is initial thoughts without to much thinking.
Starter would be a fig filled with blue cheese and wrapped parma ham and baked with a watered-down honey dressing. Or maybe going for a bit of a classic, honeydew melon wrapped in parma ham. Or, or, maybe, aspagous wrapped in parmaham with a holendayz dressing.

Mains I'd do lamb chops under a really intense grill so the fat crisps up, about two minutes before they're ready, I'd put a really good sweet-chilli sauce, or maybe mint-jelly (note: not 'mint sauce') over them so it bubbles up a bit. I'd do with that minted crushed potatos and petti-pois pees.

For desert, as we have very rich mains which involves quite a bit of cooking, I'll do something I can prepare in advance. I'm not big on fruit-based deserts, so maybe a Eaton Mess?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

I saw a recipy on the telly the other day that I would like to try.
Cholla french toast, with cinimon and nutmeg in the egg-mix (x 2)
Cream cheese, honey and mashed bannana mixed up.
Put the cream cheese between the bread and then fry up.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Oh, Gonz. I heard something on the radio the other day that I thought would be right up your street.
You need to get yourself a (hot) sweet Blegian waffle, put a 'fresh out of the freeze' Magnum ice-cream on it and then whack the lot in the microwave for 10 seconds.

Apparently it melts into the amazing pudding.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Sweeeeeet.
I bet that would be especially nice if you used the caramel magnum.
(berk, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Well the possibilities are endless*
*Limited to the different varieties of Magnum that are available.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:27, Reply)

OH man, that does sound good.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Gonz Gonz Gonz!
Was that you who sent me money? I didn't recognise the name, but if it was you, oh em gee thank you! It was very lovely of you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

=) My pleasure, I hope it goes well =D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 20:59, Reply)

You're FAB!
I'll try not to die : D
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:02, Reply)

I still say you should do it topless
I'd totally pay money to see that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)

She's only got 200m, her tits would only get to fall down 2ft while the rest of her catches up.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

you seem to be saying this is a bad thing
If you dare to insult the boobies I may have to ask you to step outside sir.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Hehe, do your best, I'd hate for you to die an horrific death.
It should be fun, you should write about it in your profile and then write something like "Sponcor me ! See profile", I think it would help =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:07, Reply)

My current one is pretty fucking fantastic if I'm honest
And there's only one or two people I'd ship out, but I like the freedom of not having to have friends breathing down my neck, so I'd just want to recruit other quite cool randoms.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

I would like to live in a Peppa Pig wendy house, with Peppa Pig, in wherever Peppa Pig lives

( broadsword, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:30, Reply)

does she have nice breasts?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:31, Reply)

I'd like to poke my pecker over Peppa's pert puppies

( broadsword, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)

*clicks*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 11 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)