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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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If there anyone around that can help me with my resume pronto?
I don't understand the formatting and all that shite, Jeff kindly offered to help but I'm not sure if he's around right now.
I'd like to get mine into this email as soon as possible, it looks like a good job I may be able to do.

alt: Favorite haircut, describe it to us.
Mine was a faux hawk, my friends did it while I was drunk. The one cried because she thought I would be mad at her, but I loved it.

alt alt: What are you doing this evening?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:47, 204 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The same thing I do every night
drink myself to sleep because I'm so lonely.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:51, Reply)

you should get a dog
in fact
you can have mine
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I don't like dogs and I certainly don't want yours
with its inexplicable psychotic maulings.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:57, Reply)

they say
you should never trust a man who doesn't like dogs.

i agree with them.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I don't know about that, but I am extremely untrustworthy.

(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)

nah
you're just fucking ugly
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

charming.

(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)

i have been called that before

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Fucking ugly?
You do surprise me.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:34, Reply)

actually
i have never been called ugly.

not to my face anyway.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)

It's hard to talk while you are puking and ripping out your own eyes.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)

this post is great
it carries with it all the nostalgia of the infant school playground for the level of wit, maturity, charm and raw sexual charisma.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I've always wanted dogs
but they're so much work, and you can't travel so much anymore. I don't know, I don't know.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

It's true, I never do anything because of my dog, it's really a family sort of thing, if I were you I'd wait until the babe is a few years old

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I think you're right
at least 4 years old before thinking of the dog. My sister can barely move from home because of her bitch.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

You can stick a dog in a shed and fuck off for a week.
It's a dog. The pet protection nonces have got a lot to answer for.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Alt alt: Pounding the treadmill.
Alt: Don't really have one, sorry. Hair is hair.

And I'm not much cop with a CV, sorry...
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Bobby was in recruitment before they sacked him for being a fat nonce.
Perhaps he could help?

Alt: Mick Farren's:

Or Noel Redding's:

Alt alt: Cleaning my bathroom - or smoking marijuana and eating.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:52, Reply)

That guy's a dick
the sign behind him quite clearly says "do not obstruct this garage entrance" and there he is. Obstructing.

What a nob.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:53, Reply)

It's Micky's garage - if he wants to obstruct it then he fucking can, alright?

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Micky owns Benham and Sons, does he?
I don't think so. He ought to be slapped with an ASBO for "hanging around with possible intent" the intent being "looking like a cunt".
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Yes he does ACTUALLY.
In between founding the Deviants and the Pink Fairies, he was quite the garage entrepreneur, ACTUALLY.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:58, Reply)

He invented 'garage rock'.
^ THIS IS HILARIOUSLY FUNNY
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I'm surprised he managed to find time to cultivate
the "i want to look like the stereotypical seventies musician because I'm a massive painfully self-aware dick" look. If he were that age today, he'd be a hipster. He's as bad as that bald cunt off The Gadget Show.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Now steady on.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Yeah, you're right. That last sentence was uncalled for.

(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Bobby lives on this street
tinyurl.com/3wxeavb
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Hahaha, in this place:

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

how exactly does one do their hair like that?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I had a dream this morning that I was cleaning my bedroom, what a shit dream

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Mick Farren's is natural - Noel Redding's was a perm.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

wait
you didn't do your hair like that?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Nah but I'd love to.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Monty, do you like Liver?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

He fucking better do.
I'm not cooking something else for his supper.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Don't fucking burn it this time.
You don't want me to have another 'accident' with the iron again, now do you?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yes.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Have you thought about having Calv's liver tonight, in the way I mentioned down in reply to shambles, instead of getting high on "weed" ?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I could do 'both'.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

you could but who really wants to eat liver? gross

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Oh america.
:(

Your insistence on blandness really is genuinely depressing.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Blandness? No. I could hardly get it past my nose.
The smell makes me gag.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Yes. Blandness.
All food in america is bland. You only have two flavours: chilli and cinammon. And you don't even use real cinammon. All meat must be the most tasteless and textureless cut. Anything vaguely interesting is ground up, processed to fuck, re-shaped and covered in fake breadcrumbs.

And if your liver makes you gag then you should probably think about buying liver that isn't rotten.

edit: unless it's your own liver, in which case you should seek medical help
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I can see what you mean.
A lot of americans are poor and don't know the proper way to feed their family without it involving frozen veg, packets of noodles or bags of chicken nuggets.

Still, liver smells gross, even if it's fresh.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Poor? In the most cash-rich and food-rich country on earth? With endemic obesity?
Ignorance I can accept - you don't value comprehensive education - but you can't blame poverty.

It's a cultural thing. The bulk of the country inherited its "cuisine" from German protestant peasants. Blandness is a virtue and grease is your friend.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I don't claim to know anything about the entire country. I've barely been out of my own state.
But here, where I live, people are poor.
And yes, they're ignorant when it comes to proper nutrition and don't understand how they could possibly feed a family without including kraft mac and cheese.
Which is why we are all fat.

Grease is disgusting, I have food with flavor, I love garlic, my roommate loves ketchup. It's all about how you were raised and whether you're tolerant.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 15:02, Reply)

How about proving to yourself that you can go clean, on your own, in your flat, for an evening?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Alright if you have night off the bum pills I'll smoke no pot.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I guess if you could get a medical proffesional in a proffesional capacity to recommend it for you, then that would be different.
Well, I think they all woudl, none of them recomend going cold turkey. I don't even know why I started this line of questioning, I think it's because of this Amy Whitehouse thing, drugs can be a horrific thing, you've got so many people who love you and would be better off if you change your ways.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Oh gonz.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Email it to me, I won't be able to do it today but will do it tomorrow for you.

(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:53, Reply)

ARGH okay, email what? qualifications and that?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:54, Reply)

He's fishing for a tit-gaz, K - be warned.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

I'll show him my tit tattoo if it helps get the process going a lot faster

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Is that a tattoo of a tit or a tattoo of something else on your tit

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I've got a tattoo of somebody else's arse on my arse.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I know a chap with a large ship tattooed on his arse.
It's the ship off the Cutty Sark whisky bottle. He did this for a single case of Cutty Sark whisky.

Cutty fucking Sark. This is not a joke.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Christ.
I'd maybe consider getting "It's pronounced "islay" you fucking pleb" along the length of my penis.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

something else on my tit

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I've got a tattoo of a blue tit on my tit.
This is funny because I don't even like birds.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

yo dawg, we heard you liked tits so we tattooed at tit on your tit so you can rub a tit while rubbin yo tit

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

...BECAUSE UR GHEY!!!!!

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

You are as unpredictable as you are witty.

(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Have you got any kind of existing resume?
if not I will need education, qualifications, ALL previous work experience and an idea of what you want to do going forward so I can cherry pick all the good bits. Have you got my email or shall I gaz it to you?
(

SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I'm lysdexic, but happy to help
I'd say use somebody else if available though.

Alt: Mohawk, seriously considering going back to this, it was cool, but not sure is will go well with Awesome Facial Hair.

Alt Alt: Packing for my ickle holiday, cooking and eating anything that won't last while I'm away.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It's written "CV"
Rockabilly - suede-head and queer-as-fuck fringe.
Pub.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Shambles, I fancy some calve's liver tonight, I think I'll nip into the butchers.
How do you reckon I should have it? I reckon I could have it with some sortayed onions, peas and pasta with a little bit of mayo mooshed around with the pasta/peas/onion and some garlic-salt.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:02, Reply)

And with the liver, dust it in flower, salt and peper, then really really hot pan with a dash of butter melted, about a minute on each side.
I'll cut out all the sinu
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Slug of brandy in the pan.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Oh my dayz, what a fabulous idea, I can get one of those lilttle double-shot bottles of brandy and I've got cream so I can do a creamy sauce.
That's what I want now.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I wouldn't bother with dusting it with flowers. Or even flour.
Just make sure it's very dry.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I find it works well because then you get more gunk in the pan to flavour the cream.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I'd swap the pasta for mashed potatoes.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Get the butcher to cut it for you.
And lightly dust it with seasoned flour after you have rinsed and patted dry. Fry in butter, slug brandy and add whole sage leaves.

Eat with mash and french beans.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Not a fan of sage, to tell you the truth, hope you don't mind.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Fresh sage leaves are a joy, gonz.
The dried stuff is rank. Plant yourself a sage bush. Chicks dig it.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I just find Sage with the irony taste of liver doesn't work well together.
I wish I did, I truely do, but I don't.

I like it when you put a sage leaf on cheese on toast and put it on top of a bowl of french onion soup.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Our sage plant has gone beserk in the garden.
Very handy to have though.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I took cuntings from ours and killed the daddy. They're not that pretty once they get leggy.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Totally not correcting that typo.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)

It fills up a nice big space in the corner
So I'm a bit reluctant to cut it right back. Same can be said of the thyme. And the rosemary.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)

And your mum.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Fair enough Gonz.
However you do it, be careful not to overcook.

As Monty says below.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

A minute and a half _at most_ on both sides.
As soon as a crust is formed, it's done on that side.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I can cut my own mashed potatoes - I don't need no faggot butcher to help me.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Touch the mayo and I will rip out your spleen.
Onions or shallots is heading in the right direction. Reduce some wine with them and slosh in some double cream and you're giving me an erection. And don't overcook the liver. It needs to still have an ooze of red and a good wobble when it comes out of the pan.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Overcooked liver = like eating a 1930s football boot

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

1970s school dinnerladies were the death of liver.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Quite so.
Bad memories.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Other things killed by 1970s dinnerladies:
Red cabbage.
Bakewell Tart.
Chocolate mousse.
That cat that got trapped in the pig bins.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Ugh we had 'tapioca pudding', that shit was evil.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Boke.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

You are dredging up long suppressed memories here, Monters.
You awful bastard.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Until you have been to Transylvania you have no idea what bad food is.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I worked alongside possibly the most clueless chef in the world.
I think I may have a vague idea.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Would Sir like boiled potatoes or boiled dumplings with his boiled gristle?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

'Perhaps some phlegmy gruel?'
'Or would sir prefer the national dish of dishwater with a homeopathic quantity of tomato and some unidentifiable root vegetables bobbing in it?'

'What do you mean you'd rather eat your own shit, sir?'
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)

i see your transylvania
and i raise you CUBA

they even fucked up a cheese sandwich.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)

My local spoon did this.
I asked for a cheese toastie and got a cheese sandwich, made with toast. Stupid cunts.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Clearly the invention of the Breville passed right by this lower order of society.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I never had liver in school, but I know so many people who reffuse to try it because of that, and it makes me Sad Face, because it's so nice.
There is a turkish dish which is bascly battered'n'deep-fried chicken livers with an onion and corianda salad, it's soo lush.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I like it when you bite into it and you get a slight crusty crunch but the inside is pink and soft.
Instead of the mayo, I'll do what I said up there with the cream/brandy/onions, I'll leave the peas.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I'll be useless.
Alt: current hairdo.

Alt alt: Gym and hoovering.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Your current hairdo is particularly good
Possibly because it reminds me of mine (before it was brutally hacked back)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Haha!
Who cut your hair?
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:20, Reply)

In my state of impending poverty, I accepted the offer a free haircut
And let my mother do it.

Never again. Never again.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Oh dear *giggles*

(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I wouldn't have minded so much except that I started to get the impression she was enjoying herself
It was the first time the back of her son's neck had seen sunlight in about eleven years.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:26, Reply)

alt: I'd like to have multicoloured hair
alt alt: posting pictures of the midlife crisis thing I am doing in ONE HOUR FROM NOW!
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:01, Reply)

BUT BUT BLOOOOOOOOOOOONDE

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

grumblegrumblenotblonde
I used to have blue stripes in it, but I was an art student, so I guess it was the law
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

it'll take the colour better
and god knows she could do with some, practically albino.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

it really doesn't take colour well
The blue was OK, but the red went pale pink and the purple went greyish
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Red really is the way to go, but it does go pink
I've tried to put highlights in my hair after having red, and they just go pink. The roots are blonde and the rest is pink.
It's annoying.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

you're a strange child
Well, I guess it befits your angelic role, as Rory's flame colours barnet befits his.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Sorry, I just send mine off to my Stepmum for her to check, she's pretty damn good with them.
Alt: I just quite like short back and sides, I hate my hair the length it is at the moment. I'm the one HOLDING the baby.

Alt Alt: It's my friends birthday, so we're off to the pub!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:03, Reply)

you look way too young to be on the internet

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I'm 23.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

you look about 3 months

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

She's 2 months old today, but not a bad guess.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

oh man! I know shit about babies!
level up!
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

less than that I'd say

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

how did you get it to flip up like that?
nice dress, btw
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Haha

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:05, Reply)

is that you?
You haven't aged well, have you?
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Aye, that's me.
Most recent photo of me, anyway.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

this is what I look like right now
up2.it/ali/aliandacamera.jpg
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

see? blonde

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Me, this morning
a2.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/145/e355f60bc7b74e4bbbdaec463067e254/l.jpg
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I'm going to end up looking like Daevid Allen if I am not careful.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Too many munchy boxes.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I am getting seriously fucking fat at the minute.
I've gained a stone over the last 2 months, going to have to start dieting again.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

also quite haggard around the eyes
I think I may look younger than you, on a good day.
(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I didn't sleep much this weekend.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Did you get to finish your diet
or you gave up?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I reached a good weight, was very pleased with myself, then dropped all my good habits, and went back to snacking again.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Nah, the yo-yo effect
be careful or you'll end up worse than before. I'm the prove of that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Abject poverty is your friend.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Snacking is my downfall, so I'm stopping that.
I'm also going back to my timed meals idea, where I only eat between certain times.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

You can snack on healthy stuff
like carrots and cucumber and celery.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:22, Reply)

He should eat 'a dick'

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Don't know
How many calories on sperm?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Depends whose sperm it is
Al's semen, for example, is principally double cream.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Was it good?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I reckon you'd make a good drag queen.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

What would you call yourself if you were a drag queen?
I think I'd be "Madam Mango"
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I was informed I had to be Naughty Natalie by the girl whose clothes they were.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I love the film Kinky Boots
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0IYICcdRyw
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I think he did really well in that film.
But I am a big fan of his.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Don't think you want my help with that
I'll probably make it worse.

Alt: Mmmm... I don't know. For me or someone else? I loved when I had it short and spiky, but I'm not brave anymore to have it like that.

alt alt: I'm going to cook lentils and cross stitch.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Ah
And I shall be watching Game of Thrones while cross stitching.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:07, Reply)

That's been moved down my list of things to watch again, now I've discovered Dexter.

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:08, Reply)

It got me hooked from the first chapter
it must be the ammount of nipples/minute on it.

I'm on the 3rd one and really enjoying it. Even tempted with the books.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:13, Reply)

i've not seen the series
but the books are brilliant and involved. I'm rereading them, now. Problem is that GRR Martin is a slow writer, been waiting about 5 years for the latest and 5 years before that for hte one before
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Wow, that's slow
I want to read them, but I'd like to wait until they're all out.

Now, he writes around 1000pages/book, normal that it takes him so long.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Feast for Crows was meant to be set 10 years after the one before
but he wrote so many footnotes, they became a book, which in turn got so big it had to be split in two (FFC is the Starks and Lannisters and stuff, I believe DWD is Danaeys and those horse guys)
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I see
my flatmate is now reading the 5th and he says it's the most dissapointing, as nothing seems to happen, and he's almost at the end of it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

And don't forget - HE'S OLD!
We might not get any more.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)

you sound proper medieval

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I'm a proper medival lady
but clean; and with studies; and I enjoy the use of cutterly when eating.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:12, Reply)

And a television.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Yes, well, almost
Mainly we have a little old box with people on it, but we don't use it much, as it's tiny, and we watch stuff on the laptop.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Ah, that's more authentic, at least. I hope it's got proper medieval wi-fi

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Of course it has
all the information is transported by crows.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Now there's a system I could get behind

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

You should start training your own
We could call you The Supreme Crow Master Sky+
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Good of you to suggest Sky+
As opposed to Virgin
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I didn't think of it
and thought the skies suited the crows better. Now, if you prefer to be a virgin, nobody is going to stop you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I was simply playing to the suggestion
that we're all spotty, sweaty-palmed virgins still living in our mothers' attics.

Ignore me. Sky will do just fine. Somebody will need to take it over once Rupert Murdoch has had his eyes pecked out by an entirely non-specific species of black bird.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Alt alt: Looks like I'm going to the pub.
It's a fascinating life I lead.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Almost alt:
I'm going to the hairdresser on Sat to do my colour. Should I just do the roots or should I go for a complete change? Should I cut it as well?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Go for something different.
I think you really suited the short hair.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I like it short very much
it's so easy. But I thought I'd leave it until I'm almost ready to give birth, as after that I won't have time for long hair anymore. TBH, I almost don't have the time now, so maybe I'll do it.

Should I go for a different colour too? I've had it black, blonde, red, orange... it has to be something that I can bring to work!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

You suit the darker colour so maybe dark red.
Or a nice rich chocolate brown.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Sounds good
although everytime I've gone for dark (I loved the black) people said that I looked like I was dead and I should go for blonder.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)

make sure the hairdresser knows you are up the stick
some hairdyes cannot be used when you are pregnant. as you probably know, but thought i'd mention it!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:33, Reply)

No, I had no idea
I'm learning every day. Why is that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Might it have something the do with the ammonia that some of them contain?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)

i have no idea
nor do i understand how it gets into your body. hang on, i'll google.

www.babyworld.co.uk/information/pregnancy/health/colouring_hair.asp
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Touching your scalp, it seems

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I hate this era of information we live in
Now I'm worried about the 2 times I changed colour in the last 5 months. There are so many dangerous things out there... how did my mother do, I don't know.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Meh
As I've probably mentioned before, my own mother used to continue to enjoy the odd glass of red wine while she was carrying me, and I turned out just fine.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

ORLY?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

No, Kingston.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)

i'm sure it will be absolutely fine
it is a tiny amount so don't worry. same way a bit of alcohol will be fine, so long as it's only a small amount occasionally!

just make sure that the next one you use is safe for pregnant women, sorted.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Oh, well
Just one more thing. Luckily this will be over soon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)

No not black.
Brown or red.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)

roof terrace bbq and then pub this evening
my friend just texted me something that made me laugh:

"i'm so unlucky that if you threw me into a barrel of tits, i'd come up sucking my thumb".

ha.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Quoting a relegated manager?
Tsk tsk
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:28, Reply)

was i?
i had no idea.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Nah, he/she was
It's a quote from the Blackpool manager, Ian Holloway. He was ace, I'm gutted they got relegated.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Oh well, it's only a game.

(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

they also say you should never trust a man who doesn't like football
i agree with them on this too.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I am entirely trustworthy, thank you.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

In this case, are "they" devoted followers of the same?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)

no idea
i just fancied taking a cheap shot at kroney, to drill it down to its bare bones.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)

You know how I'm usually so cheerful and optimistic?
Well today I am in a bad mood.
(

Kroney, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)

S'up Mr Krone?

(

CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)

no
and why?
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Alt: I had a blonde mohawk for a while, that was fun
My hair generally needs to be really long and in a ponytail or shaved off otherwise I look like Freddie Boswell every morning.

Alt alt: Making a morning-after-arse-melter of a curry to try and kick this cold I've got. *sniffs pathetically*
(

Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Alt: my current one.
Grade 1 back and sides, bleached and spiky. I'm 40 years old ffs. And curently unemployed. That's going to go down well with prospective employers I should imagine.

Alt alt: going out for dinner with people I was at uni with, then pub, probably.

I should probably work on my own CV as well. I haven't done one for years.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Re: Alt 1.
Depends whether their first question at interview is along the lines of whether you like to unwind after a hard day's work by having a nice, long, relaxing poo.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)

If I'm being interviewed by Donald and Davey Stott
then I think this line of questioning would be par for the course.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)

There is a gas leak but you are starkers.
Do you run out nude, or stop first to cover your intimacy with a couple of sugar puffs?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 28 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)

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