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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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FuckOffBert is now the shittest person on Offtopic
who have they replaced?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:26, 233 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Me?
If it is Bella, someone the other day totally said she'd do me.

*tries to look like feminist*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:29, Reply)
No, it's me.
Not only am I shit, but also tedious.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Fair point.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:31, Reply)
I dunno
I've spent the last 3 or 4 days beakering like a bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)
We all do.
It's what normal people call 'social interaction'. Is that not more or less the point of /OT? Unless you're Chompy of course, then it's posting hews links and being anally retentive
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)
have I whined yet about how my
painting is looking more like a dirty protest with every brushstroke?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)
No, please do
Maybe you should stop paining with your own faeces?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I can't help it, I'm like
"this picture needs more brown and I'm out of brown..."
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
just try not to get the brush stuck
again
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)
you forgot pontificating on every topic under the sun
even though you live in the dead-end of the midlands and your entire knowledge of the world is gleaned from google. and perving over any female teenage b3tans.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Isn't Poppet our only teenage female b3tan?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Midlands?
How very Dare you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
she's not talking about you
you ignoranus.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)
oh
i thought he was disputing the geographical location of MK.

oh well. my point is still valid. it's a soulless place!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Agreed.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Soulless it may be
But it's not in the Midlands. We have our own shitholes thankyouverymuch.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
where is it then?
it's certainly not london.

and it's certainly not the North.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Wikipedia says South East England

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
pffffft
wikipedia says a lot of things
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
That is not a county
It more likely says Buckinghamshire, in SE England.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:01, Reply)
It's not the fucking midlands, woman.
If anything it's west Anglia, not that that exists. In fact, I think we're referred to as part of the Home Counties.

Are you being nice to my Black Books DVD?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
oh shit
it's like a black hole in my memory!

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
Buckinghamshire

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
which is very much not the midlands

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Ahh, right
I was the perving that threw me. Not that I do that. Anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)
dude if the cap fits...
.... pull it over your face when you go raping teenage students, eh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)
No, I don't do teenagers, my cut off is 25
Amberl is already convinced I don't think she's a person because of this.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
i know
nobody wants to claim ownership of that concrete shithole. i have to go to meetings there and i never cease to be amazed at how tedious it is. everything looks new and the same.

i'm half northern and half southern, and neither the north nor the south would admit to spawning MK. it's totally the midlands' problem, dude.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)
I went there once
it's nothing I wish to repeat. The concrete cows are the best bit and you can see them from the train.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)
i can't
i close my eyes under my satin scented sleep mask when my first class carriage glides through the shithole yellow station.

occasionally i get the wrong train and it STOPS there. and they LET PEOPLE GET ON. shudder.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Look out kids - it's CAPTAIN GEOGRAPHY!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
I should totally change my user name to that.
but it would be confusing.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Oh man you could create an hilarious sockpuppet account!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
No, I'll just steal it for my sig.
As Bobby says socks are hard work, and I've never don one on this board, for the record.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Seriosuly you two, stop the self pitty thing, it's putting me off my wank,

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:39, Reply)
Well, not self pitty, self depravation. I don't mind pitty, it's the chronic insecurity.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:45, Reply)
HAaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:32, Reply)
Nonsense
This weekend coming we have the chance for death and upside-down boobage from you
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:34, Reply)
That's true.
You'll all be sorry when I'm dead.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Do we get to see boobs?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)
we shall enshine all your posts
print them out and leave them under the bungee platform
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)
They would probably reach up high enough to reach the platform

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:37, Reply)
even all the shameless pandering?
Edit: misread, was thinking of posts to her.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:38, Reply)
yes
I imagine post-mortem pandering would produce even more posts that when they're alive
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:38, Reply)
silly Welshy
No need to pander when they're dead. There's no way they can put up any resistance then.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)
as if I'd put up any resistance now...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:43, Reply)
*Books ticket to scotchland*

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
pssst
I'm in Somerset
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
*points to my Sig*
I'm probably going to end up in Bournemouth this weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
: ((

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
Bournemouth is loverly
Well, actually, no it isn't, but you can get the ferry to Swanage, which is.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:01, Reply)
Swanage is shit
as are most coastal places in Dorset and Hampshire.

but at least it more people from coming to Devon and Cornwall
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
You'd be going the wrong way.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
story of my life

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
If he tries to go the wrong way
I'll definitely put up some resistance.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Hahahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
*sadface*
I hope the strumpets in Bournemouth are more accommodating.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
It's all shameless.
I have no shame.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Are you suggesting that FuckOffBert is Bella?
Cos it's not.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)
No, Chompy did
I was just running with it for shits and giggles.

Hi there Big Man.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Big Man?
Fucking graffiti.

Hello sir. Are you well?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
I am well, if a little porky and tired
I am off on a small holiday for the next week, which will alleviate the latter if not the former I hope.

Big man not your speed? Ace? Butch?

I'm trying to subtly rehabilitate your reputation here.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I'm happy with Big Man
Seeing as how I'm 5'11" it implies Good Things.

Where are you off to?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:38, Reply)
I really really hate
that I'm starting to like this woman
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14342674
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
omfg
she not only took drugs, but she danced with a musician
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:39, Reply)
I like her response
some journo tries to stir up a scandle, she says "yeah probably I was in my twenties meh"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)
SCANDAL
you know, like what your spelling is to the british educational system.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
It's like a scandle in the wind, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
hahahaha
someone should set the poor fucker up with an auto-correct. it's hard to sneer and be patronising and think you are better than everybody else when your every mistyped sentence shows you to be an illiterate fucktard.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I know you have a personal grievance here
but really, chucking that much bile into it isn't doing you any favours.

Yes, his spelling may be bad, but no worse than a lot of people, but the thing is, he's right a lot of the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
bile my arse
that was a compliment by my standards
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:45, Reply)
it's the right attitude
no one should actually care, I'd rather see a politician who has lived a bit of life
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
she is a monumental twat in real life apparently
according to my ex (he was at uni with her).

mind you, he was also a monumental twat, so.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
many people are a monumental twat
doesn't stop them being good at their jobs, and I bet she is less of a twat than most politicians
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
also
monumental twat:
www.estatevaults.com/lm/archives/2009/09/11/teardrop_memori.html
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
ffs! Conservative woman has past.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:35, Reply)
He's no Wet Ham Man (RIP) is he?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:36, Reply)
I hope it's Ding. She was before my time, but I'd like to get to know her.
Oh, oh, Bou sent me a message on fb the other day, said she liked my hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
anyone whom i can't remember, clearly
you only remember the funny ones or the nutters.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
who are you again?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
zing

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
which am I then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)
who are you again?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Apparently he's not Gonz.
I think that much has been established.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:45, Reply)
this much is true.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Spandau Ballet lols

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
I know

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
he likes brunnettes
you're in LUCK
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
I don't like brunettes.
I love them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)
*swishes past with brown hair*
Albeit with some of it shaved.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
Oh no

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Ah man. Some of my hair is blonde.
Rotten luck.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
good or bad?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
very, very good luck.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:52, Reply)
thanks, i think i'd need it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
you sure would.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:02, Reply)
I don't know why I thought this was so funny

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
I make women laugh all the time.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:08, Reply)
Oh, Gonz, we know =)

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
I AM NOT GONZ.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)
hahahahaaaaaaaa
I know =) =) =)
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Spanky Hanky

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:42, Reply)
That PsychoChomp was a bit shit.
I'm glad he doesn't post here anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:47, Reply)
I'm the best person on here, it's widely known.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Are you saying known is fat.
(crap joke is crap?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I shall answer this question by talking about something completely different
England are fucking falling apart in the cricket
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:48, Reply)
No matter how much you try to get us all interested in cricket..........IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Edit - Apart from the Reverand.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:50, Reply)
^ that

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
^the other?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
do you use pioneer gear when you DJ?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:49, Reply)
No
Fisher Price
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
I meant Darth.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
I do
but it's not my gear, it belongs to the club I'm resident at. I should stress that I am far less professional a DJ than I am led to believe you are.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
You're a professional bottom-wrangler.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
And you're lucky I'm no longer scoring

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Not as lucky as your missus.
She was finding the whole 'faking' business really tiresome.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)
I'm curious re. the new pioneer mixers.
I have a DJM400. I love the filter on it. Do you use the fx? Is it a 400 or one of the fancier ones?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
DJM 300S sadly
I've been on at them for a while to invest in new gear
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
just a 300? blimey.
The new entry level pioneer is a sexy piece of kit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
'I don't take none of that stuff and neither will you if you know what's good for you'


I'M QUOTING TELEVSION! IT'S LIKE 'FILM' ONLY LESS COOL (APART FROM 'THE WIRE' WHICH IS 'UBER' COOL).
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:53, Reply)
You quote 'film' more than anyone on here < < < trufax!

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
A STORMTROOPER BUMPS HIS HEAD!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:55, Reply)
'SWAT 'm SAYIN', MAN!
Fuck off to www.cahiersducinema.com/forums, yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
I'm going to create a comedy character and go on there from now on.
Goodbye, B3ta.


*invests in roll-neck and beret*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)

invests in dusts off the
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
Correct
My favourite quote from the online commentary today...

"Top tips - negate the disadvantage of losing the toss by getting out cheaply, thus forcing opponents to bat in the same conditions."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Yeah that seemed amusing at the time
Now it's just cruelly prophetic. We can only hope that the ball moves for Jimmy, probably in about two hours' time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:54, Reply)
If the ball's not moving
there's your first problem.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Dear, sweet, innocent b3th.
Hush now.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:01, Reply)
*gets back in place*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Two out of three ain't bad
Three out of four if you count her username
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Should I ask which one you consider to be erroneous?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Innocent.
Obviously.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
*looks innocent*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Hahahah! again
You're on fire today hon!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Woohoo!
It's been half an hour and no-one has mentioned me!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:57, Reply)
So, basically, just a normal half-hour on B3ta.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
or earth

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
*psst Monty*
who is he again?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:00, Reply)
I don't know. He seems to know me though so I'm 'styling it out'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Good plan

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
*gasp!*
Was it YOU?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
It wouldn't be the first time it's been said.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:01, Reply)
But was it though?
Do I have to get Jeremy Paxman to get a straight answer out of you?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:02, Reply)
DID YOU THREATEN TO OVERRULE HIM?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:05, Reply)
It depends who you ask.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)
I'm going to take that as a 'yes'
and mock you roundly for it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
This coming from the woman who fell over her dog's ball?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)
while dressed in nothing but a towel
Or was that just how I imagined it?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)
i see you've changed your sig
not trying to be less creepy now?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Where's the point?
It's more fun being creepy. it's not like anyone's stopped talking to me or hated me or anything, except Amberl obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:35, Reply)
hooray!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:39, Reply)
What for?
Me being creepy or Amberl hating me?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)
you being creepy
but if there's a feud in the making, that makes good reading, too
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Well, so far I seem to have said she'd look better covered up with a nun's outfit
and then said she's not a real person because she's under 25.

I suppose I could call the Pope a wanker, that'd probably seal the deal.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:48, Reply)
The best part was the pathetic little "I'll be with you in a minute"
that I called out to the postman, as I was trying to drag myself to my feet.

My fucking ankle is still throbbing now.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Not good!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Going a bit far to try and get out of a bungee aren't we?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)
DeathPlunge 2011 is still on.
I may just have to hobble to and from the cage.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:34, Reply)
are there tigers in the cage?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:35, Reply)
I hope not.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:35, Reply)
I think I've OD'd on Lemsips
I'm completely spannered and have a wicked cold sweat. I had a window of opportunity to watch Millers Crossing before the kids got out of bed this morning. It's been Handy Manny, Spongebob and Scooby Doo ever since. I miss the morning, that was good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:09, Reply)
Good god, man.
What kind of a father are you? Give them a swift clip round the back of teh head and switch teh TV over to what you want to watch.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:11, Reply)
GODSDAMMIT THEY HAVE CUTE FACES!!
Whatama supposed ta do?

It's The Fox and the Hound now, we have reached middle ground.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Spongebob is way better than that cheesy Disney bollocks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:15, Reply)
The one we watched earlier was where Spongebob was seconded to a French type restaurant..
and couldn't make anything other than a Crabby Patty, even when he was just frying an egg. That was a good one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
They're all good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)
I like the one where Spongebob is trying to get into the tough guys bar..
..but keeps failing until he pretends to beat up Patrick by not even touching him and then he gets in and he slips over and gets taken to the wussy boys hospital. "Boo-boos, eh?"

From memory I'd say Ren & Stimpy was the genesis for a lot of this type of animation which is pretty mainstream now.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)
I hear rastamouse is excellent

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:32, Reply)
The TV we used to have when we were kids
had a mysterious habit of switching over to sport or news as soon as my Dad came in the room.

It may explain why I'm sitting here now watching the womens' golf on BBC2.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:16, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:18, Reply)
"It's my TV, I'll watch what I want"

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Get the cricket on lass
Women's golf is strictly for the carpet munchers.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
but I understand the golf
specifically, what the rules are, and whether they're playing well.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Good God man! grow a spine and send your kids to play on the motorway.
May let her nephew watch what he wants when he comes round to visit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
The trick lies in training them to like what you do.
Mine is very fond of Dr Who.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:22, Reply)
I tried that.
He got bored with Dr Who : (

We did use to watch Takeshies(sp)castle together.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:23, Reply)
That was fun, but I think that was him training me.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Lemsip has paracetamol in it and if you go over the recommended dose you can die.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Kidney failure isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:12, Reply)
I thought it was liver
At least he can look forward to a slow and painful death.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I can't remember which either
but it's not nice and can happen very easily if you OD, or so I hear
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
disgusting
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracetamol_toxicity#Signs_and_symptoms
(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:17, Reply)
One of my father's pupils stole some money and got found out.
He had to stay at ours during the expulsion process as he'd stolen from boys in his House and was thus persona non grata.

Whilst he was at ours he necked two bottles of paracetamol and was stretchered out in the middle of the night.

I had a mate staying over and initially we were heartily LOLing about him throwing up. We did feel a teensy bit bad about that when he nearly croaked.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Two suggestions of a conscience in one day?
Slipping up there Mont, if you are not careful other human emotions may start showing through and then you are finished.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:29, Reply)
when the proles smell weakness...

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Poor Boycie
He'll have to hide up an oak tree or something.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:32, Reply)
Who're you calling a prole?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:34, Reply)
He's lucky not to have died.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:31, Reply)
I almost developed kidney failure once from an e coli infection
It was easily the most pain I have ever been in. I imagine liver failure is a damn sight worse than that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:33, Reply)
And not forgetting the jaundice.
That must suck too.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:36, Reply)
especially as yellow is such a hard colour to co-ordinate with.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I hear green with apricot works quite well.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:41, Reply)
don't let Monty know you got that information from Red Dwarf
I suspect you're on thin ice aready
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)
I think I've burned my bridges with him already.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:44, Reply)
You can pull it back.
Write a sequel where he's on the ramming and and you'll be fine.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:45, Reply)
I think I reached my peak with that.
You go ahead and write it mate, say about him and Bert's sister or something.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)
Not a hope.
He's not totally cunty to me sometimes, this is almost like us being best buds, I will not jepodise (OK, I know I spelled that wrong, and so does Chrome, but I'm fairly sure that "oxidised", "anglepoise", "Methodism" "oxidise" are not closer to what I wrote than the proper spelling.) this.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)
What? how the.... what the? One of your farther's pupils, who was getting chucked out of school, had to stay at his house? what? really?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Tangled is right.
It's the liver, and it's a very slow and painful death as you are slowly poisoned from the inside out by a buildup of toxins in the blood. A very painful way to go, and I think they covered it on Hollyoaks years ago once in a suicide storyline.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Yeah and liver damage, it can put you in a coma

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I haven't gone over the recommended dose I'm just a big wuss

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)

big wuss man
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
if it's the morrisons version
they fuck me up bad for some reason. I once took one, then ended up buying a red coat with elephants on it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I had one Asda extra strength one and I'm away with the fairies

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:25, Reply)
my advice would be to
go to a shop that sells red coats with elephants on.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:27, Reply)
mothercare?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Top advice there
Always nice to see someone sharing the benefits of their own experience.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:31, Reply)
yeah, man
I got an awesome coat out of it that makes me look like an art teacher. I would never have done that on Beechams
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:33, Reply)
*ponders this advice*
...
..
.
*finds no fault*
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Some of them have decongestants as well as paracetamol.
If you have a spacky reaction then it's more likely to be those.

edit: lemsip hardcore has pseudoephedrine in it
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)
I'm glad nobody will bother to read this helpful contribution to the conversation.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:50, Reply)
i read it
and had little reaction - pseudoephedrine means nothing to me.

Do you require internet validation that much?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:51, Reply)
It's a good job nobody has invented google or wikipedia.
You fucking retard.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)
i don't care enough

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)
They "fuck [you] up bad for some reason".
I just told you the reason.

You can say thanks when you've grown up.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)
I said it was the morrisons ones not the lemsip ones
so the post had no relevance to me, unless that was the stuff that stopped that happening
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Or you can just procrastinate like a toddler.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)
Errr, that stuff has got paraceitmol in.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:37, Reply)
There was a bloke in hollyoaks, Mandy's Brother, who OD'd on paraceitmol but changed his mind and it took 4 days to kill him.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Have you got me on ignore :'(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:39, Reply)
We all do.
Soz and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:41, Reply)
No, I just don't read things in order.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:55, Reply)
Dyslexilols.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Oh i don't know.
Somebody unpopular, or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:40, Reply)
Who could that possibly be?
I haven't been here long enough to make a judgement call yet though, although Truth Fairy seems a bit of a cunt.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)
Fucks sake 'mr gossip' is in the house

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:43, Reply)
if that were a real nickname
it would be the most super-hom nickname ever
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:46, Reply)
rachel meet darth

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:48, Reply)
Kroney needs to wise up, if your gonna spread hate, you need to name names, provide spurious links, add charts and diagrams to exemplify his victims cuntery
All in all 0/10
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:50, Reply)
I have not yet joined the WI
but when I do, you'll all know about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)

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