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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Naughty things you have done in hotels?If you had to join the forces which one would you opt for?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:25,
124 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Were you fixing gloves by Wednesday?And on Thursday, Friday..etc
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:31,
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Alt: SOMETHING ABOUT STAR WARS!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:30,
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probably naughtiestother than shagging, is smoking a spliff out of the window.
terrible eh?
if I had to, it'd probably be the navy. provided I could fight off the batty-boys
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:31,
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The x-rated sequel to 'Flight of the Navigator'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:32,
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no idea what you are talking about....edit: I used to love Flight of the Navigator. I bet it'd be fucking dreadful if I watched it now.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:33,
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I know you're joking and thatbut why do homophobic men always assume that 'the gays' will be desperate to bum them? I mean, when you look at these troglodytes, they're not exactly god's gift, are they? Generally speaking...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:35,
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they probably assume that all women want to fuck them as wellso it's the same thing.
complete stupidity
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:37,
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Once again, in my case this is in fact true.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:40,
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Speaking as someone who's been leered at by Boy GeorgeI can assure you that the gays are indeed desperate to bum me. I don't blame them.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:40,
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I doubt 1980s Boy Georgewould look twice at 2011 Boy George.
Sorry, that just occurred to me...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:42,
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No he wouldn't - because he'd be too busy leering at me in Camden Sainsbury's.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:43,
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I've been sexually assaulted by somebody claiming to be a lesbianmuch to the amusement of my other half.
Note: I do not believe they were really a lesbian.
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Kroney, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:45,
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you must have been a very sexy 11 year old(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:46,
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they can smell their own(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:49,
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All of them.If I had to join a force, it would be the RAF. I was going to for a long time, unfortunately they don't like pilots with a risk of epileptic seizures.
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Kroney, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:34,
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what about pilots who are excellent physical specimens?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:37,
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I've been cured now, but by the time I was, I was too old to fly.(
Kroney, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:38,
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You can't 'cure' gayness - it's a myth.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:44,
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Shagging, that's about it.Alt: Navy
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:34,
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I once snuck into the spa and didn't pay the 10 EURO charge!!!Army Air Corps so i could fly an Apache helicopter
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:34,
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They light a little easier, too, I've found.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:56,
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Kroneyfinds it easier to transport his scat collection in this form.
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Flaming discs of botdog...Surely the best way to turn "Ultimate Frisbee" into a vaguely interesting "sport."
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Or, give them a light coat of matte varnish and pop a hole in the middleClaim it's a bootleg live LP of the Menstrual Teepee Vagabonds or something and flog it to impressed hipsters who will take it home and promptly ruin their "retro" turntables with it.
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I've got an original of that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:46,
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My dad had a trouser press when I was growing up, I wonder if you can still buy them.They're like a really effort-free iron, and they make your clothes all toasty and warm so on a cold school day your as you're walking to trousers they feel good like you've wet yourself but it's dry.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:16,
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I'm the only member of my immediate family who hasn't been in the army,and I wouldn't last more than five minutes in any of the services. I don't like people shouting at me.
I think the last naughty thing I did in a hotel was letting the dog sleep on the bed instead of making him stay on the floor.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:41,
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the last hotel i was in was the Californiai checked out a while ago, but feel like I never really left...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:45,
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They're made of fish, you know.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:46,
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what are they made of?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:48,
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yes well donebetter than Monty's effort though. He fucked up bad
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:52,
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Oh b3th, my darling, maybe one day me and you can share a hotel room? One of those hotel rooms where there is a little chocolate on the pillow and a TV where the remote control isn't on a cord.OH OH OH, and one where the towels are big white and fluffy. And the hotel has a swimming pool and jacuzzi and steam room and a really nice resturant and 'grounds', and it being somewhere near the sea too, maybe Brighton, I like brighton.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:10,
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Hotel naughtinessGizzits normally. i.e. pinching things when drunk
Alt:
Navy. My mate Stu was in for 8 years and has the best drinking stories from around the globe.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:47,
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I'm definitely not well,I've just been f5ing the other thread 'cause I forgot I had started one. Might have a lemsip and go to bed.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:49,
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I'm going to do the shopping then have a lie down. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:56,
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REPLIED IN THE WRONG PLACE(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:56,
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I covered the bathroom and my hotel bed in red vomit.I would join the RAF because I'm too snobby to hang out with the army and I hate being in deep water so couldn't be in the navy.
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girlinthehole, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 10:57,
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You also look fantastic with a large second world war fighter pilot moustache(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:01,
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On returning from a work functionI was so pissed I smashed the mirror in the bathroom with my head and took the sink off the wall with my ample frame.
Then pissed the bed.
Good times.
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It was in a Munich hotel room. Cost my firm £700 to fix.
Then it cost me £150 out of my wages for 4 months.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)
So they paid £100 of it themselves?JIMMY FUCKING HILL, YEAH?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:08,
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FUCK YOU, pedant. They are rounding up/down discrepencies.
I've got the statements if you want to see them!!!!!!
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don't have a domestic before your party...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:16,
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Given that I always stay in a hotel when I go to InFest, the answer must be MDsAlt: RAF. I'd love to see the look on their faces when I take the eye test.
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I'd totally do thatThe only reason I won't do festivals is because of the lack of indoor plumbing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:07,
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You're b3th - and I'm not Gonz.You really are senile aren't you?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:12,
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It's not a camping festival mateIt's all indoors, about 1,000 capacity, in the centre of Bradford. Goths in a muddy field? Bitch please.
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They are, to use popular internet parlance, fucking shitI'm severely short-sighted, have acute astigmatism and early-onset macular degeneration. I've been informed in no uncertain terms by several opticians that my eyesight is the worst they've ever seen. And (enormously expensive) surgery aside, I'll probably be blind within 20 years.
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woo hoo!I'll be permanently crippled within 20 years too. *physical defectives high fives*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:09,
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We'll be like that Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder comedyExcept called "See No Evil, which is just as well cos I couldn't run away from it"
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How would you know?Unless you were really into film????
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:19,
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I am the ultimate 'film' 'buff'.I have the ‘Empire’ magazine ‘app’ on my ‘smart phone’ and I really enjoy ‘European cinema’.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:22,
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I stole a Kimono dressing gown from a Japanese hoteland on more than occasion have written "All characters appearing in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental." in the bible
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Peej, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:09,
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I prefer'Well - here it is. I finished writing it at last! Hope you like it.
All the best,
God'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:13,
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See, your first mistake was emptying the obedient Geisha girl out of it before you ran off with it...(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)
I didn't pay for the Formula 1 hotel just outside ReimsIt had an automated system where you stuck your credit card in and it'd give you a room key. The door to the corridors was open and I just walked in a room that had been cleaned. No problems.
Marines or Paras - always had an inkling I'd like to be frontline.
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My father in law was in the Gurads during the warand kept going AWOL because he wanted to see some action. So they stuck him in the Commandos and he was one of the Normandy landing brigade.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:13,
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This post has enormous homosexual undertones.It's basically a 'Feargal Sharkey'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:14,
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^ classic bit of 'film' there(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:17,
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He was part of the ones holding the front for the 'Bridge too far' bridge - was that Arnhem?I forget.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:19,
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Yeah but that was Market Gardennot the Normandy Landings (Overlord).
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)
The commandos were the supportIn the film, when Sean Connery talks about the supporyt troops, that's them.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:32,
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A quick check with the other half reveals that in fact, they were definitely in the Normandy brigadeNo 4 Commando
He's evr so proud of his dad, is mr b3th.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:28,
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4 Commando :)There we go! Sword landers and rumoured to be some of the first Allied boots on the beaches :)
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His dad fought at Agincourt, didn't he?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:34,
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I stabbed a women then framed her skaghead bass-player boyfriendAlt: The Wrens
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:19,
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OHHH OH OH OHHHHHHI was in falraki with about 15 friends and the whole hotel made friends with our group. I scored big time with a girl so big that you couldn't see the straps of her ankles because of the folds of fat. I took her back to my hotel room and while losing my virginaty to her, half the hotel tried to smash the door down, and they broke it, so I had to pay for it. At one point I hear them say "C'mon, let's pick him up, HUMAN BATTERING RAM" followed by a "AGHHHH MY HEAD".
We also, the doors were really badly made, they wouldn't lock properly. So we got some string and tied every single door nob to every other one, really tightly, and them slammed one of the doors which slammed open the others.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:22,
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I was once on a work jolly in that there Londonwhich turned out to be the boss taking a bunch of us provincials on a tour of his favourite bars, each time saying "Oh, you don't want to eat here, we'll get something at the next place."
Booze and no food puts LiC rapidly into shutdown mode, and so when I noticed as we walked between bars that we were actually passing the hotel we were staying at, I simply detached myself from the group and went in. Got to my room, started to get undressed sitting on the end of the bed, passed out.
Not terribly naughty in itself, but I was sharing a room with one of the other guys and I had the only key. He ended up having to sleep on the floor in another room, he was NOT happy.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:28,
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What really happened? Was he upset because he woke up and you were "spooning" him and dribbling in his ear?
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No, that was itReconstructed, it appeared I'd considered him and attempted to wedge the door open with cardboard but failed. Good job too, as when I woke up around 4am I had apparently pulled down my trousers and pants, sat on the end of the bed to take them off, and just flopped backwards already snoring. Not a good thing to greet you when returning from a piss-up.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:42,
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His colleague walked in to find that Lighty had drawn a picture of his face on a pillowand was vigorously wanking into a pair of his pants, repeating his name over and over again whilst clad in a lacy pink negligee.
It made conversation at breakfast the next day a little awkward, to say the least.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 11:44,
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