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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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God I don't want to be here. I want to be outside doing something constructive instead of stuck at work.
Being as I shall probably retire before you lot, how shall I spend my retirement?

Alt: How will you spend your retirement, should you have a reasonable pension of course?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:49, 216 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Anal?
Alt: trying new, more dangerous drugs.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I'll probably have a back passage like a windsock by that age so anal might not be an option.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)
i think you could have it sewn up a bit

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)
TP then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Rawlplug?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:24, Reply)
You should work your way round the country, pestering old men. They'd fucking love it.
Alt: probably the same.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)
Can't I pester young men?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)
You could certainly try.
I fully intend to move onto the younger option by the time I'm 60.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Your retirement will trigger some variant of dementia
Some of the drugs are well cool though
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)
I think you should learn to crochet
alt: attending all the classes in the world so I can learn more stuff, then die having done nothing with it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)
I'm doing the crocheting now.
I've ordered a book and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)
there are loads of
youtube clips to teach you the moves
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I'll start off with a book to refer to.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Pension?
What's a pension? Fortunately I'll have a super-mega-famous medical genius on-side who'll see me right in sausage rolls as I drool and stagger painfully around the countryside in my twilight years.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)
She'll probably discover the cure for teh bad aids and make you a billionaire.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)
It's all about the sausage rolls, baby.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)
sausage rolls.... bad AIDS....
You've made the mistake of using POOF pastry.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)
LTI

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)
WooHoo!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
the taxi I was in on Monday night
had a advert on the bottom of the flipped up seat saying

LTI

I was confused
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)
Coventry's finest manufacturer of London Taxis

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Greggs will be the main currency by that time
anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)
Get a load out of your pension as a lump sum
Go travelling to wherever the fuck you want, get tattoos and shave as much hair off as you want to.

Eat cakes, be happy
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

a i
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)
cikes?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)
This made me chuckle
far more than it should have done
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Well I've already done two of those.
I know someone else who will probably end up just eating cakes and being happy when they retire.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Me me me me!!
Can I do it please miss?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:57, Reply)
No, you have many years of drudgery left yet.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Fuck
I want cakes, goddammit!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
and wear suncream

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:57, Reply)
I'll spend my retirement on a yacht in Monaco with my 3 throphy wives.
Failing that, I'll be found outside a branch of Corals bookmakers, waiting for them to open before going in and placing a 25p Yankee in the hope that I win enough money to have the heating on that winter. I will, of course, spend the day (once I've placed my bet) sitting in some god-awful Wetherspoons pub trying to have a conversation with anyone who will listen to me.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:57, Reply)
What a bleak but honest appraisel of your forthcoming retirement.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)
To be honest Blousie.
It's much like my weekends at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
only with more drugs

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)
I'm on loads of drugs at the moment, but I reckon there will be opportunity for every more of them in retirement.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)
The way my back is going I'm heading for a whacked out on painkillers retirement too
meh
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)
*sadface*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)
I'm jesting with ya!
Hey, I meant to ask. Will you be my gambling partner again this year? You came close with some of your football selections towards the end of last season.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)
Definitely!
I'm feeling lucky this year.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Woo!
I'll be in touch.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)
This happens everyday around the corner from me
where there is a triangle of misery consisting of a pawn shop, a Corals and a Wetherspoons.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)
Serious answer
Will you have paid off your mortgage by then? Other debts?

If so, do what the fuck you want!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)
There is a strong possibility I shall be financially Ok when I retire.
But I'd be happy with frequent camping trips in the countryside and all the Werthers I can eat.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:06, Reply)
At what point in your retirement have you decided to start smelling of piss?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)
She already does :(

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Have we met?
I think not.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)
The gaz machine passes many secrets

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Monty is lying.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)
You have been betrayed by another
It wasn't described as the heavy smell of double incontinence if that's any consolation.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)
How awfully machiavellian.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)
With my pelvic floor I reckon I can hold out till around my late seventies.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Then you are all set then!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)
We are trying to pay off the mortgage as early as possible
Should be free in 13 years I think
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Good luck!
You're going to need it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Just in time to pay for uni for the kids
yay
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)
spend it on meeeee, i got a tattoo for you and everything
Alt: by the time I'm old enough to retire its likely there won't be social security, even though I've been paying into it for ten damned years, I hope mcdonalds has a retirement plan
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)
mcdonalds should be OK
by then, while the UK will be Greggsland, USA with be McDonaldsville, so you will be effectively working for The Party.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Seriously I would like to study something. Probably theology as it's the only ology I have a cat in hell's chance of understanding.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:04, Reply)
What about scatolgy?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)
be doo dooo wop da da dee dee do wop!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)
sociology is a piece of piss
but it's also dull
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)
from my Sociology A level:
"Phenomenologists because of their particular ontological and epistomological positions believe that society is a world of shared norms and values..."

I memorised this and still remember it 17 years on
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)
*falls asleep*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)
exactly
I was so bored in that class I took to writing every other line backwards
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Crocheting pipe cosies for crack addicts
Just got back from my massage and feel a bit wobbly, large kipper tie and tweex to the rescue
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)
Did the company pay for a happy ending?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:10, Reply)
Yeah, Lassie came back
/notquitesurewhereimgoingwiththis
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Down a well, probably

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I never thought I'd live that long. My innate clumsiness is going to get me eventually.
Ms Foxtrot has made me promise to outlive her, however, so I've got to give it my best shot. Travel the world, probably, in the absence of any of my own ideas.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:11, Reply)
I'm sure I said this last time it was mentioned,
but "please let me die before you" does seem an awfully morbid promise to demand of one's partner...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:52, Reply)
My entire department just had a ten minute long, loud argument
about something for which there is only one answer and we all knew what that answer was. How is that even possible?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:12, Reply)
Breaks the boredom innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)
Your job is dull and everyone is forced to make their own entertainment

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I can outdo you here
This morning I had a two hour meeting where the same thing happened
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)
The argument we had was essentially
"how many bytes in a kilobyte?"
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)
1024

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Trying to convince my boss
that 10,000 bytes is not a megabyte was unbelievably difficult.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Why didn't you just google it?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Because we knew the answer
And because we're professionals.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Your boss is an IT manager?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Oh yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)
+sh

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I know of an IT head of dept. that asked one of the support guys to find out why windows went grey when he clicked log off.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:41, Reply)
If only there was some kind of internet based repository of searchable information
Hang on, I'll just Google and find out
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)
zinged - dammit!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)
I didn't know Big Brother was on the telly anymore,

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:20, Reply)
I fully intend to happily outlive my ex-wife
My good friend Darth Foxtrot will be employed to teach me some suitable dance moves to be carried out on her grave.

Nah, I'm not really that bitter.

I should have a very good pension, house will be paid off well in advance of that, no big remaining financial concerns, so will probably do some serious travelling. Or just sit at home and watch Bargain Hunt.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:19, Reply)
I recommend the worm

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Odd you should mention funerals and dancing.
The chap who wrote the Hokey-Cokey died the other day, after a long illness, he was 97. Whilst his family were pleased he wasn't suffering anymore, they were traumatised at the sight of the undertaker trying to put the body in the coffin.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)
2nd LTI of the day
You are on form today Jeff!

on off
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)
I blame the painkillers.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Keep up the bad work!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Pay no attention to the nasty man, Jeff
It's a click from me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
I feel that an LTI is the honoured tradition here

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)
That would certainly explain why I've never had one

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)
May I suggest the Charleston?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)
I'll be dead before I'm 50 I reckon. Heart attack or cancer.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Oh Monty, don't say that
Gunshot wound is far more likely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)
I reckon you'll choke to death on vomit.
But someone else's vomit.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:23, Reply)
You can't dust vomit for prints.
I reckon he'll die in a bizarre gardening accident, that the authorities will decide is "best left unsolved".
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
+uphill

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Or explode in the middle of a gig
leaving a mysterious green goo on his stool

Ew
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Or he'll sell his dialysis machine for drugs.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I'm sure we could find something else to sit at the end of his bed and take the piss out of him

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)
nice one

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)
It's quite impressive
when your OWN post disgusts you.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)
That's nothing
I got a bank statement the other day.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)
I try not to look at them.
They just make me cry.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Oh come on!
That was FUNNY!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Don't be too quick to discount a debilitating post stroke existence

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:24, Reply)
I'll cross my fingers.
Seeing as I won't be able to do that after my stroke.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Best wipe now then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)
One side of you might be alright, you'll be slurring and making flailing claw like gestures on that side
Not knowing if it's Tuesday or Friday is something of a drawback
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Fuck me, I've had a stroke

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)
It's a major downer
Welcome to the wacky world of vascular dementia
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)
*joins club*
*forgets*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I know a fair few lifetime caners with Korsakoff's syndrome, another possible contender

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)
Rimsky- korsakoff?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)
symphoniclols

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Like yer, a mixture I suppose.
It's a barrel of laughs
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Inability to compose oneself

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)
vitamins are the answer to this

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)
"not knowing if it is arsehole or breakfast time"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
I'm rather looking forward to it, actually.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Not as much as we are

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)
You have to be careful with that Cancer, mate. It's serious.
I heard that in a song.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Snap.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)
That is osteoporosis, not cancer

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)
Me too.
For you, definitely a retirement of hippy travelling and living out of a backpack.

For me, assuming sufficient solvency, I'll live on a boat and move around as I see fit. I wonder if it's possible to live on something that can manage canals, but is also seaworthy...
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)
But canals don't lead into the sea.
How will you get from the canal to the sea?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)
What none of them?
I thought they linked to the Thames, and thence to the sea.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)
not everything leads to london
you know
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)
Canals, however do.
What with it being important and stuff. They mostly don't go into Wales though. I wonder why....
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)
If you were going to Wales you'd want to move more quickly than by narrowboat
Cavey waits for no man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)
I imagine if I ever wanted to go to Wales I'd make it a very slow trip.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)
You don't know what you're missing mate ;-)
I mean, nor do I. Just saying.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Sheep mostly
and rain.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)
it's not raining
right now
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
give it time
How is the rising damp BTW?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
:(
I wouldn't have thought it would get this high
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)
I have a rubber dingy I can lend you.
It's about big enough to sleep in.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Either you've stopped making veiled references to sex with Cavey
or you know something I don't
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
Veiled?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:57, Reply)
What?
I is well subtle innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
I never make any references to sex with Cavey.
That's your job. I've only been talking about visiting Wales, in this conversation anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:59, Reply)
That's true, you don't
Allow me to offer you a few pointers in the fine art of meme sustention
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)
It's your meme mate, not mine
I have in interest in helping you get it off the ground.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)
There are worse memes to have mate
Trust me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Oh, I know
I just feel you should have to work for it. It's not really taking off is it? I think B3th is joining in and that's about it.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:14, Reply)
you do know that wales isn't just
a big field I stand in on my own, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
of course not
You have pigs and sheep for company and you live in your damp hovel.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)
i wish that wasn't so very accurate
I just don't have sheep
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)
I bet you could see some if you looked out of the window.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
nope
I can see a lot out of this window. No sheep, though
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
passing strange.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
loads go through cheshire, though
and that's a proper place
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:48, Reply)
Only the Thames and Severn canal.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:41, Reply)
Says here *points at the internet*
that the Grand union, the Oxford, the Kennet and Avon and a few other do, but I/they could be wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Just wikied.
Most English canals do join up but you'd have to have a small boat to use on the canal and this would probably be too small to manage sea travel comfortably.

And canal boats are not a good idea long term for the tall.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)
Yes, this was my fear.
I shall go back to my original plan of buying a derelict aircraft carrier, sailing it into international waters and declaring an independent state.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Start designing your flag now.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
A sickle and CDC on a rainbow background

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
I like the sickle and CDC idea
Not sure about the rainbows though.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:57, Reply)
ok fine
a sickle and CDC flanked by a unicorn and a gorilla spunking rainbows at each other on a fractual background
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Better.
Unicorns are a bit ghey though, except the invisible pink ones.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)
I smacked my head on the underside of a bridge once
It was my Dad's fault, he told me to go inside and get the windlasses and made no mention that we were passing under a bridge whilst I was lying on the roof.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)
hahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)
You'd think a person would notice something like that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:56, Reply)
I have a deliate toucyh

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:57, Reply)
What the hell are you trying to say here?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:59, Reply)
He has the touch of a rapist

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Gibberish, Foxtrot. Gibberish.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:00, Reply)
I've been told to never assume
But thank you for assuring me that I was right to.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)
I have a delicate touch
you should know
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:01, Reply)
True, true
It was like enveloping a silken pencil
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)
You would
I know he was steering a narrowboat at the time, but a bridge is a difficult thing to miss
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:58, Reply)
I meant you, you plumbline.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:59, Reply)
Yes.
I know that.

MR THICKY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)
burned :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Not for your heed!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:59, Reply)

c
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)
Pick it up and carry it the rest of the way, presumably

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)
Great another one of these 'sea-dog' tramps destined for a mooring by Vicky Park

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)
You have no idea how much your devotion means to me Rorykins

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Srs it's no more than a caravan parked up on some stagnant water. They're all old, rotten and stink of fucking mold.
Most of the 'sea dogs' haven't got a clue what they're doing and are weekend warriors playing at dressing up like a tramp.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Thank you once again for cheering me up
By reminding me that I am not, and will never be, you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)
Knock off the headbanger pills and lose the chippy communism and you never know !!!!!1111!!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)
Oh Rory, how well you know me.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:54, Reply)
Yeah I'd rather be at home knocking one out to some rotten bongo too.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Alt: Cover myself in crows' feathers, with some extra flanges in appropriate places to simulate wings and a tail
Fashion a false beak from an old kitchen-roll tube and sit on a perch looking quizzically at passers-by.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Typical Sunday afternoon stuff then?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:03, Reply)
A man's got to have a hobby...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:08, Reply)
...that is to say, it wouldn't do to admit to the missus that he previously spent his Sunday afternoons chain-wanking into a shoe.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:13, Reply)
Hahaha.
I reckon she'd be quite protective of her shoes too, the feisty minx.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:14, Reply)
Well, wouldn't you if you thought there was a risk of me knocking one out into them?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:17, Reply)
You just stay away from my Vans, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:18, Reply)
I like the quizzical look

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:04, Reply)
did that change?
was that magic?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Shh!
I may have cocked up slightly.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
A MIRACLE!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
Will you be friends with a flying elephant?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
You bet.
All I need is three other people to harmonise with me in my barbershop crowtet.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Alt: I have a simple plan to form my own religious cult.
1. Move to a small settlement which borders with some sort of wilderness. Desert would be ideal for the purpose, though forest or scrubland might also suffice.
2. Get to know the locals whilst frequently talking a lot of mystical bollocks about needing to go on a quest for spiritual enlightenment.
3. Go and hide in the adjacent wilderness until such time as people start to worry about my whereabouts. Somewhere in the region of 40 days ought to do it (I'd better bring a good book)
4. ??????
5. PROPHET.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Heh

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)
How long have you been waiting to do that one?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)
Just about worth the effort, I think

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Just came to me over lunch
It must be a MESSAGE FROM GOD.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)
*follows*

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:10, Reply)
Now I think about it, it came with a PS:
"Oh and by the way, touch that passing child in an inappropriate manner"

Maybe it was actually a message from Gadd...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:13, Reply)

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