THREADSTOMP
Living in China, I am witness to much strange behaviour. What oddities have you observed when abroad?

alt: what TV program do you miss?
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:29, 219 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Last time I was in scotland I found a half eaten gay pornstar look alike in the badger sett I was staying in.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I call bullshit
How could you tell what he looked like if he was half-eaten?
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

They'd eaten the bottom half.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Exactly, how could you tell who he was?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

They all talk funny.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Taxi drivers grow their pinkie nails long, then use it for digging out ear wax
Toddlers peeing in the supermarket aisle. Drinking green tea and whisky. Dressing up as a Nazi in your wedding photos. Harvesting and selling off used cooking oil. All true!
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

There's a cosmetics lab in town that apparently gets fat from kebab vans and chip shops
to use on it's prototype makeup things.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Reused cooking oil is sold as... cooking oil
Gadz!
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Here's the nazis.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Monty should sue them for stealing his idea.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Hahahahaha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

In Naples I saw a one legged drunken tramp pissing himself down his good leg.
And I miss Sports Night. And Arrested Development. I can't really think of any others.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I miss Sports Night as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

This pleases me at least:
artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/08/hbo-picks-up-aaron-sorkin-series-about-cable-tv-news/
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Glad to hear it
I'll keep an eye out for it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Sorry, this is in regards to Battered's post.
Shit, that hasn't lined up well at all. So, I've moved it down.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Nice try though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I'll try it now


Far better.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Saw monks making a pilgrimage across Tibet


They will do this for hundreds of miles to get to the Potala in Lhasa.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)

"What's my name, bitch?"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I have witnessed craziness such as:
The selling of not only edible but reasonably priced and really rather nice food at such insane places as convenience stores and stations (France and Germany).

Automatically giving you a big jug of (free) water with every meal and friendly and attentive service (America).

Helpful and charming homeless people, who in return for the coppers you give them provide the public service of giving you accurate directions in perfect English (Holland).

In counterpoint I did find that yanks look at you funny when you say "Cheers" meaning thanks, as I apparently do a lot.

Alt: Magnum PI
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Don't forget
Nice people driving their cars without rushing, respecting the code and not beeping the horns when your car stops; making driving a pleasure (Sweeden)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Never been there.
Although I gather it's nice, if pricey in the booze department. I'm thinking of heading up that way at some point, I might try to see how many Scandinavian countries I can fit in.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)

What side of the road do they drive on?

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Probably the wrong one, everyone but us seems to.
Based on Troll Hunter this is true of Norway, anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

No, they drive on the right
which is the right side as well. Because it's the right one, you see?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Y'see, driving on the left has a historical logic behind it.
When it was men on horses it left you sword arm facing your (possible) opponent. I'm not sure what the logic for doing it the other way around is. Maybe it's a pacifist thing.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Not really
Napoleon wanted a system that was contrary to the romans, to mark the difference in the Imperium. You English refused to do anything Napoleon wanted.

However, these days, nobody uses their swords while on horses on the road, so I think you can forget about it and change your system. Sweedish did it overnight, and it worked prety well (yeah, I know, traffic there is a lot less than here)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I think the principal of not doing it just to be different from the French (and pretty much everyone else it seems) still stands.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I had a per diem of 50€/day
and had to ratio the alcohol and meat ingestion if I didn't want to over spend, so yes, it's pricey. Good thing is that you can brew your own beer or wine. And people are really nice, and very healthy too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

You can do that here too.
it's just that people don't tend to, partly I guess because beer in pubs it not massively over priced.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Yes, but here you need to get prety drunk to spend 50€/day
I didn't go out much, and when I did I'd buy the drinks before hand, have them in a flat with other people and then go partying; otherwise you need a lot more than 50€/day.

Vegetables and meat were expensive too. I remember getting surprised every single time I went shopping.

Then, salaries are higher, and work conditions much better; as far as I know.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

this is what I meant.
I think it evens out if you live there, but visiting is expensive. I still want to visit. The scenery in Troll Hunter was awesome.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I haven't watched it
but want to. Is it any good?

I did enjoy my time there very much. I would have moved there, but things were complicated at that time. However, by the end of February I was suffering from depression: lack of sun, too much snow to go out to the city and living on my own in a little village without friends is not a good combination.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

As a horror film, it's not that horrific.
and it may depend on your toleration for all that shaky camera 'this is a student documentary, honest' style of film, but I thought it was good, quite funny in places and worth watching, a solid 6 or 7 out of ten.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Alt: what a surprise
Comrade Cowell wants more TV programmes featuring heavily-moustachioed men in tiny shorts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Cheeky bitch.
Also the Hawaiian shirts, don't forget those.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

At the time it seemed odd
When we were in Italy, we went out for a meal, and we saw a man eating pizza.

It was odd because I was so used to just seeing the 'pizza' we get over here, so seeing this guy eating a pizza with a few lumps of cheese on it, some leaves (which I think were rocket), and drizzling it with olive oil seemed the weirdest thing to me.

Also, whilst not weird, something in Sweden freaked me out a bit. All shopkeepers, etc, would greet you by saying 'Hej' (pronounced the same as 'Hey'). If you replied by saying 'Hey', they'd continue the conversation in Swedish. If you replied saying 'Hello' or 'Hi', they'd speak to you in English. This was very odd when you were queueing in a store, and you'd hear the person swap language 3 or 4 times before you reached the till.

Alt: If you mean TV programmes that have been cancelled, I'd say Angel. If you simply mean ones I miss between series, I'd say Castle, Bones and How I Met Your Mother.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

ALT: Drop the dead donkey and Spitting Image.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

alt: The love boat.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)

*makes another run*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Do you live in China then? I had no idea.
I live in Lewisham.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Really?
I'd never have guessed, you're literate and everything.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I have someone who does my typing.
A poor person.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Hard luck.
I work in Lewisham and that's bad enough.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Goldsmiths?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Pretentious is my middle name.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

You work for the largest employer in the borough. Fair play to you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

That's near CQ.
You should pop in for biscuits. He always has biscuits.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

It's actually in New Cross and not the mighty 'Sham.
They didn't want to call it the London Borough of New Cross Gate because they know what a bunch of bed wetters they are.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

At least we have beds to wet
and not just piles of filthy straw.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Haha.
You have beds because you are all whores and your bed is your place of work.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

*shrugs*
I make good money and enjoy my work.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

What she said. I'm just at the bottom of the hill.
Feel free to pop by for tea and sodomy bickies.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I am partial to biscuits, any biscuits.
I'm more discerning about the sodomy.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Actually, not ANY biscuits.
Can't abide lemon puffs.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I don't even know what they are!
Anything but Hobnobs simply isn't good enough for tea though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

That is not a biscuit.
it's an abomination, see also pink wafers.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

You are Fred the Shred AICM85% state ownership.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Who?
*googles*. *isn't that bothered*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

It's a topical pink wafer story
which isn't that easy to come by.

Bit of fucking appreciation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

* grudgingly gives small amount of appreciation*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I do rather agree with you on this.
Blousie is right though, there will always be biscuits, so, should you ever with to pop by, feel free.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Cool, I would even bring some extra biscuits.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Excellent
*hides lube*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Where in China do you live?
We are considering moving to Shanghai in a few months; but are a bit worried about taking the baby to the far East.

Does England count as abroad for me? I saw a girl this morning "breakfasting" a McBurguer and a flake ice cream. Champion.

Alt: none that you probably know, so I'll save you the pain.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Shanghai??

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I thought I had told you
Mark's bosses think there'll be good job for him (and maybe even for me) in 4-6 months time. In theory he should have gone already, but the project was delayed. It's not sure that it'll start in 6 months either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:47, Reply)

*sadface*
Don't leave me. It was bad enough when you moved to London.
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Oh, love...
that makes me very sad. We'll have you into consideration, but it might be the only way for Mark to get a promotion, as things in Europe are very slow. And we'll be back!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Well ok, as long as you're coming back.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

We'll have to visit Mark's parents
at least once per year, so we can arrange to meet you at the same time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Aw petal. Don't worry about me.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I do, of course I do.
BTW, let me know when your down here again and let's try to meet. I don't know when we'll go to Manchester again. Maybe in October, but it depends on how I'm feeling.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I'll be down for Monty's bash and maybe a few weeks after that depending on how fed up CQ gets with me : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Of course, I forgot about the bash
I'll see you there for sure!

By mid October we want to be settled in Worthing, so if you fancy visiting there, you're welcome.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Thanks petal.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Moving for good?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:47, Reply)

It's just a possibility
We agreed to go for 6 months and if we are happy and things work well for us, we could live there for 2-3 years. But it's not sure that it'll be happening. And we still have offer in Mexico; we should be hearing from them in November.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

:-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Oh fat people.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

She wasn't fat
she was skinny, full of spots, and looked and talked as if she'd been on drugs all night.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I'm in Beijing.
Having a baby here should be alright, you can get an ayi (housekeeper/nanny) for quite cheap, though you have to keep your eye on them to begin with. Hospitals are alright, but I wouldn't send a kid to school here - international schools are massively expensive (up there with UK private schools). I have a 5-month old daughter and not had any problems.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

A man with a saucepan on his face on a traffic island in Aktobe.
alt: Gilmore Girls.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I remember my shock and glee when I realised that Stars Hollow's troubadour was Grant Lee.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Best busker EVAR.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Gilmore Girls was good. I liked it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I miss it.
I want to hang out at Luke's drinking coffee with Lorelai.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Luke.
*sigh*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I did enjoy Gilmore Girls
I like fast paced dialogue.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

It's on right now, the missus is watching it.
Which is why I'm here.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Oddities observed?
Toilets being labelled as WC on maps. I spent the whole day at the ToL wandering around looking for toilets. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Hahaha!
Poor you.

How are things going?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Alright. Feeling much better I think.
looking forward to tomorrow - double dance class and then going home for a week.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Glad you're feeling better
It seems you're enjoying very much those dance lessons. Are you going to dance for us next time you come?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

God no!
I'd need a dance partner who actually dances swing for that to happen. It's bloody great fun though. I'm going to keep going to it though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

You should teach Noel
And dance for us!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

...not sure he'd want to learn!
and I'm not up for performances. No way.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Not even a private one?
Then, what's the point of learning, if you can't show off?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

because these classes are the high points of my week.
I feel so happy dancing, I can go until I have blisters and sores on my feet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I know the feeling
I used to go to Salsa classes, and had a lot of good fun there, just dancing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

?
You didn't know what a WC was?

It should say DUNNY.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Pig feed.
A la India.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

We don't say WC here - it's just Toilet or Bathroom!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Loo?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Water Closet darling.
What is on an Aussie map? "Toilet"?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Yup. Exactly.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Commoners.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

They DO have a large number of working class convicts as ancestors.
Even more so, Tassie.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Descended from thieves and whores.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

You don't have to go back very far in most peoples family history to find a thief or a whore.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Esp. my family.
Or indeed Jesus' family.

Jesus was a bastard after all.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

He wasn't that bad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR2jRDKD_NE
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Cottaging lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

In India a saw grown men cower in fear when a Hijra was begging on a train.
Apparently a man wearing a sari can curse you and your family for generations.
( wanderlust, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I'm guessing my parents must have badly offended one at some point.
NOT REALLY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

My pal Barry Dobson swore blind he saw 'The Laughing Paki' taking a shit off the Itchen Bridge in Southampton.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

"I'm The Laughing Paki"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I've always suspected this.
Although you do speak English rather well.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Yes please, come again.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

The Bollywood remake of Spartacus

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I'm Spartacus,
and so is my wife.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I'm Spartacus,
and this is not a library sir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I'm Spartacus,
and crucifixion is firm, but fair.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Potential Nazi lols
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14926601
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I cannot believe this.
Me and my old pal Chris used to play that game all the time. We decided it was cheating to name US celebrities because it was too easy. I didn't know there was an app for that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:15, Reply)

It would have uses
as Dave Gorman would be quick to attest.

www.edinburghspotlight.com/2011/08/fringe-review-dave-gormans-powerpoint-presentation/
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Alt: Passengers

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

In Spain, right,
there was this waiter, right, who didn't understand my order for 'fifteen pints of Carling and four full Englesi's, por fookin' fa-fookin-vor, comprendez-fookin-vous' no matter how loud I shouted it.

Most peculiar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:20, Reply)

You big fucking racist

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Fuck off Chinky.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Try going to an Indian restaurant, and ordering "the hottest one you've got Abdul", this is Guaranteed for maximum chili peppers and jizz.
Even more so if you're pissed.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Oi, Gunga-fucking-din.
50 popadums, live-O.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

" 'scuse me Sahib
anywhere I can park me elephant?"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

There's a takeaway in Leyland that does absolutely vicious curries, and regularly delivers to the BAE plant there
As a dare, one lad ate a Phaal-type dish with extra chillies. He said eating it wasn't too bad, it was his stomach and arse later on that were the bad bits.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I had a Tindaloo in Coventry once. It was so hot
I spewed while I was eating it.

True story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You still ate it though?
Where in Coventry?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

And if they don't understand, smash the place up, content in the knowledge that you tried your ebest.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

They're sorrr fookin' STEWPID.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

In Berlin they have built a beach where there is no sea.
They simply dumped a load of sand next to a river and put a bar there. I'm told there are more in other German* cities too.

Alt: I don't miss any TV programmes - most that I remember as being good would undoubtedly turn out to be utter shite if I saw them today.

*They also have the odd habit of invading their neighbours
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

They do that every year in Paris as well.
There's talk about doing it in MK next summer.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Thinking about it
I seem to recall someone mentioning one in Coventry recently. An obvious choice, I'm sure you'll agree.
Perhaps this isn't such a foreign oddity after all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Basically 1 truck load of sand
means you can charge £4 for a bottle of carling and you'll still be busy.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

That's cheap.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I really love your tiger feet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

That's right.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I really love your tiger light

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I genuinely love that record.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Poof.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

They also do this on the South Bank.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Sponsored by Southend On Sea.
With the sand provided by them. Which is odd, as they import the sand in Southend anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Alt: Monkey!
Best show ever. Chock full of Johnny Slant-eyes, mind you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:41, Reply)

And that girl pretending to be a boy or was it the other way around?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Like on BOTP.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

www.blueovaltruckparts.com/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Always five, acting as one! Dedicated, inseparable, invincible!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Ever seen the unedited Jap originals?
No gay 7 Zark 7 and a whole lot darker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yes. I was the matte artist on them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Yeah well I was the main character.
My dad got me the job, when he got back from Mr Han's martial arts tournament on that island.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Yeah, well I was the fat bloke that went on to star in Revenge of the Nerds.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

"Boy or Tranny Pretending?"
It was a rejected round on "Red or Black?" I believe.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Hermaphrodite ACTUALLY.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

They have thin blood too?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

You called?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

not as good as "man milk or moo milk?"
best of all the quizzes ....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

In the C16th novel,
Tripitaka is a boy monk. For some reason they had a woman playing him in the TV show. I really fancied her - which made me wonder if I had chutnoid leanings at one point*.

*it didn't really
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

You do/are.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

fruity tendencies, sir?
/I was in a bar in Old Street for about an hour last night, oddly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:56, Reply)

So was I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I assume it wasn't the same one
that would have been ... curious. It was called McQueen's.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I work just round the corner.
and you didn't even invite me. *sniff*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Has everyone seen these pictures yet
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14928252
They seem a bit too professional to me, has she got a film coming out in the next few weeks or something?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I haven't seen them
despite some rather brief searching this morning

I wouldn't be so desperate.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

is it the ones where she's lying down taking a photo of her left cheb?
I'm not sure they look professional but they are certainly odd.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:00, Reply)

She is FUCKING HOT.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

She's more than a little tasty in Iron Man 2

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Come on, you actually damned near pulled it clean off over that Downey Jr chap
stop pretending.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

No chance
I'd even give Gwyneth Paltrow one before him.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I'd hammer her.
Then write a song about it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

IT'S BERT!
news.peacefmonline.com/news/201109/66696.php
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Scottish, nuff said.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

The lad's face will never stop being funny to me
They look like products of incest already!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

For some reason they way the put 'again' in capitals amuses me greatly.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

You've shagged worse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

His dad shagged worse. At least once.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Unfortunately this is historically accurate.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I suspect this is true for most of us.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

and they weren't always female eh Scarpe

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Oh, I thought we were talking about the brother.
The sister is way out of my league.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

She's not blind for a start

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Are you feeling lonely again my dear friend?
It's OK, I'll always be here for you.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I'm never alone when I've got the internet as a pal.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

That's the spirit!

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Always with the booze scarpe, always with the booze...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

bloody hell, Barry.
You've been chucking it up your sister AGAIN? How many times have we told you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

The comments section is hilarious

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

This person is able to drive the internet apparently
"yous are a pair off black basterds man thats fucking howling yous need a good kicking fs and ur bro is a durty fucking perv man @ a see her the other day in lanark houseing she wis siting with not a care in the world man u should be fuckin shot u mankey fucking boot man u should be ashemed off ur self man :@"
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

on the second page
there is one that goes "hand on heart, who hasn't done this?"

Which is both brilliant and petrifying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I'm not sure the one that says "I've done worse after a few pints"
meant that to sound the way it did either.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Paul Robinson
I assume this is the England International goalkeeper, because that makes it even funnier.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Or the "no nonsense" Bolton left back?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Or the character from Neighbours
He was around when his granny Helen had a stroke, so he's got form.*

*It was the eighties and there were only four channels to choose from m'lud
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Ex West Brom too
I wouldn't put it past him, the moonfaced badgekisser.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:51, Reply)

and mildy terrifying...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

The photo of the bloke is fucking incredible

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

It's fucking brilliant.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Sign him up for a remake of Hunchback of Notre Dame at once

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Or The Elephant Man
We'll probably see him hired by Iain Dowie, just so he's no longer the ugliest man in the room.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Why is he the only one on the register?
Surely she should be too?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Bit odd, isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

yeah, that is curious.
unless she's got learning difficulties or something and the article didn't say?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Surely an article like that would jump at the chance to mention that the girl he was abusing was "MENTAL!"

(Bazongaloid, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:17, Reply)

yeah, fair point.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Living in wales people use funny words, even when speaking in english.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Alt: Better Off Ted
Absolutely brilliant comedy about working for a giant multinational. Managed two seasons, impressive for a smart American show. Normally they get the boot the first time a management chimp at the network can't get a joke.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vixvCtiR4AM
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Alt: John Barrowman wants to bring back The Krankies
back off
yfrog.com/h2eg4zjwj
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Why are they fighting to wank off Wee Jimmy?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)