Morning
What did you do on the weekend?

It's Jeff.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:22, 229 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I had a cracking weekend.
lol

it's Monty
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:23, Reply)

had a smoked ing all
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:15, Reply)

What i didn't do was sleep, now i'm ruined
it's nakers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:25, Reply)

4am starts FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I worked.
and I read. I finished the book today.

It's Poppet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:25, Reply)

You read a book called 'Poppet'?
Yours confusedly

Monty, 38, London
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Nah the book was called Inheritance.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:34, Reply)

I hope you'll pass it on

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:40, Reply)

no way man.
I'm keeping it.
Although I'm starting to feel like I have too many books about dragons.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Look up and behind you and you'll see a point.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Iron-o-lolz reading this morning's Metro.
Letter from a recruitment consultant bemoaning the state of his/her candidates, how they use slang and have a poor vocabulary - and then immediately used the word 'upskill'. Fuck - but also off, you pitiful wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:25, Reply)

I mainly upskilled this weekend.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:26, Reply)

going forward this will be essential fdor your key skillset

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:28, Reply)

I did some serious blue sky thinking
but I realised that without upskilling I was never going to get through the glass ceiling.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:29, Reply)

You need to get some traction under this gritty data.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Good idea.
I'm going to action this immediately.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Lets walk and talk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:06, Reply)

I watched robotropolis.
It's...........
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:26, Reply)

....fucking shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Yup, it was an ace shit film.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Don't know what I'm FILMing about,
I watched Mulan and The Jungle Book.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Now they're just films that are shit.
This though, is a proper shit film.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqGIAkd5tYw
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:32, Reply)

It certainly looks like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:34, Reply)

OH YEAH!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:35, Reply)

jungle book is a great film

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Helped TB move in to his new flat
read: did most of the moving and unpacking whilst he was at work.

I also went to the german christmas market where I managed to not get attacked by chavs this time. which was nice.
(berk, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Can't Tony Blair afford to hire a removal firm?
Yours confusedly

Monty, 38, London.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I would actually help Tony Blair move house
if it meant I could set fire to his wife. Dreadful, awful woman.
(berk, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Dreadful and awful maybe - but at least she's not ugly,


Oh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:34, Reply)

By the looks of it , someone already did.
Oh-oh! I went there!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:35, Reply)

OH no you didn't!
*snaps fingers*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:37, Reply)

*wobbles head*

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:44, Reply)

What did the chavs do to you last time?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:34, Reply)

To me, very little
Shoved me and swung at me but missed. But one of them grabbed my poor friend by her hair and was screaming in her face about how she was going to stab her. All because we wouldn't move out of their way in a very busy street where there was nowhere to move to.
(berk, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:37, Reply)

What fuckheads.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Knowing berk
I'll bet she started it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:49, Reply)

WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
/berk
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Well, on the one hand perhaps I shouldn't have told them to fuck off as they tried to barge past
on the other hand, why the hell shouldn't I have done? They were being ignorant little fuckwits.
(berk, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Oh it's all coming out now.
Swearing at the chavs then legging it while pointing at your mate's hair going "Look how grabbable it is!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:35, Reply)

throught this discussion i have been subsituting the words 'chavs' for 'berk'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

ASHUT UP I'M GOING HOME

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Morning
I watched bands, drank beer, ate curry and cake, and I slept.

It's tangledupinblue.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Hello
I walked dogs, cleaned, was generally productive.


Jo Brand
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I spent two hours putting transfer stickers onto a ride-along car
and was vomited on by my son
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Bless!

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Ungrateful little shit
he he!

Just trying to get all the building of toys/games/bikes/cars sorted way ahead of Christmas
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Lusty met my daughter yesterday.
Fairly momentous occasion for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Yay!
I like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:14, Reply)

How did it go?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:15, Reply)

It was excellent.
I took my daughter out to breakfast at the City Farm near my house and Lusty dropped by on her way past. It was deliberately low-key.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Wow! I bet they got on fine : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Potential threesome on the cards?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

You are not a well boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Good morning Jeffers.
This weekend I has:
-Made a mobile out of coat-hangers wiv Th' Boy
-Stopped smoking for Christmas
_not a lot else, which fails to explain why I am to knackered

All very dull, but enjoyable enough at the time. I trust your weekend was a wild drunken orgy?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:14, Reply)

A Blue Peter-eqsue one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:15, Reply)

What is a Blue Peter-esque wild drunken orgy like?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Doing Janet Ellis from behind while Peter Duncan licks your balls and you scream "AND HERE'S ONE I MADE EARLIER!" at the critical moment
All the wile Simon Groom will be fisting Goldie as Percy Thrower attempts to Bukake the entire Blue Peter Garden.

Edit: this will conjure up interesting images for those born within a few years of me and mean nothing to anyone more than a couple younger.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Needs more elephants shitting on the floor

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Before my time Old boy
I purposely kept to the 'classic line-up' of my youth.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Worth it for a go on Ellis though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:31, Reply)

No other options in my young days
Yvette Fielding and Diane Louise Jordan came along a bit later as I recall, but it was never the same.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Fielding had some minging skin disease and DLJ is a God botherer.
So I would rather have shagged Goldie the retriever (if Jeff hadn't been there before me).
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Indeed.
Ellis however would have been pure filth.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Ish
I let my son have a fair amount of creative input, as it's supposed to be his project and restricted my self to structural work and implementing his suggestions, so It all came out a but more 'fabulous' than Blue Peter normal produced, but I think it was an artistic success, his mum seemed happy, which is the main thing.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Very restful weekend. Did everything I had planned except the domestic stuff.
So I actually did everything I wanted.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Friday, had a couple of pints, then an early night
Saturday, went to see a friend, spent far too much fucking money
Sunday, recovered, watched the football, and cooked a chicken and mushroom pasta dish.

Not the worst.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:21, Reply)

WHAT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:31, Reply)

whuut

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEjizzEEEEEEismOOOOOOOOM

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:39, Reply)

bliiip

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:40, Reply)

ah fuck its crashed again, gonna have to reset the mofo

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Do not disassemble!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:42, Reply)

what sort of fucken noise is taht for a rotter to make? fucks sake, gonna upgrade to a netgear at this rate

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Help me Ronda Help help me Ronda

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

if thats a star wars reference i will find you and eat your face

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

As if, get to fuck!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

QUentin kick your ass.
Quentinkick your face. QUentin kick your balls INTO OUTER SPACE!
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:48, Reply)

silly cow dunt even no when she bin PWND

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Keep at it son
I sense her defences are weakening, you may yet be able to cop a crafty feel at the next bash.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)

is it in good shape or is it a furry michelin man?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Roota?
I have it on good authority she's a dead ringer for Bet Lynch, you could do far worse.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:59, Reply)

bet lynch when? 80s- alright, 90s-sure, 00s FUCKRIGHT THE FUCK OFF

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Sorry, was getting my soaps mixed up.
I meant Pam St. Clement
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:06, Reply)

reckon i would, but doubt i'd be proud

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Good lad.
One for the team.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Job applications an ting
and put up about 100 baubles on the bauble ceiling down the pub.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Fuck off jeff, nosey cunt

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Ha ha.
Alright Rory?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

It was goin all right till that cunt ruined everything with his Internet questions.
Made worse by him havin no interest in the outcome
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Do you have a particular B3tan you're planning on targeting for abuse this week?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:56, Reply)

A number of variables there, it depends how inane the question and how crippled the response is, if I'm around, and whether I can be arsed typing anything
There's an equation in there somewhere
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:04, Reply)

all sorts
also i went to the gym before work this morning and did 90 mins of working out including some running. so i thought i would have breakfast, which i never normally do. wholegrain bagel with crunchy peanut butter and fresh orange? yes.

but it was the very last bagel. and the fucking toast machine in the staff restaurant burnt it. because the prick behind me changed the conveyor belt speed to suit his bread. it's a fucking good job EAT has minestrone and pesto soup today. and that i am having a lovely tea with monty and co tonight. otherwise there would be Trouble.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Worst of all the sweets. Licorice = blurrgghh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:56, Reply)

YOUR A FUCKEN LIAR

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

i completely agree
but i am a bit confused as to the relevance. or are you saying that it tastes burnt?

i don't mind the fruit liquorice, but that black shit can go fuck itself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:01, Reply)

all sorts you fucken dippit cunt

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I reckon Liquorish is like Olives, in that, eventaully your tastebuds like them.
BUT, but, the thing is, right, I also reckon the only people who like them, as a favorite, are those who are so old that they didn't have decent sweets back in their day.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I shall never like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

What's your view on Anniseed balls?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:33, Reply)

It is filth.
cf drinks that taste of it. Wrong.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Correct.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

seconded
or is it thirded?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I had a lovely weekend
watching films and eating chilli. Now I am really tired and the other woman here has a cold and is sniffing and coughing. This is annoying me.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Careful now, often women together can synchronise their colds
I watched Volver, it was odd
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Good odd?
I was tempted to watch that a while back
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

not really...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Then I won't!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I thought it was very good.
Make of that what you will.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Volver is awesome.
Eagerly awaiting his latest one to come out on DVD.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Coffee and tea festival, several beers, a jolly to Wandsworth on the bike
and the start of my Christmas shopping.

Made a lovely Thai Curry on Sunday and sat in my pants playing Xbox. I'm such a slob.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:20, Reply)

i had a girlfriend from WANSDWORTH and the dryer in the mens room is made by a company called wandsworth
and every time i see it i die a little inside
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:22, Reply)

don't forget to wash your hands# Quentin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:24, Reply)

when i wear buttonflies i like to use the cubicles cos otherwise i have to unbtton the whole lot in front of everyone
nad i always here this guy pee and then leave wwithout washing his hands

and theres a nother man who breathes really loud when he poos
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I read that as 'shat in my pants'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

you know him too well

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

That would be Kroney, non?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)

No that's 'shat in my freezer'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:33, Reply)

That would be 'shat in my ice-cube tray'

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

only if he has a gigantic cock-shaped ice cube tray
which he may well do, i have no idea.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I wouldn't put it past him.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

past in
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Nor that, now you mention it...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That too!
I have a problem with coconut milk.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

You're not supposed to use it as an enema

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Your mum,
Great news I haven't been fired!
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)

This is good news
Why might you have been?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I sent a undimplomatic email to 45 people thursday afternoon.
Friday I spent firefighting that and today had a conference call about it, everyone who I blamed for fucking up apologised rather than have a go at me so it's ok.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Phew.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It doesn't sound that impressive, but I did get an email from a board member implying I was being unprofessional.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

That sick, hollow feeling you get when you think you might have fucked up royally is fucking horrible.
I had it on Friday night and nearly had to go back to my office at 9pm to sort something out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Did you shit in the wrong draw again?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

DRAWER

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Isn't that challenge traditionally said at high noon?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Yes, but I cannot wait until then to shoot him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

back of the que Monty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:50, Reply)

its QUEUE you simplep[ot!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That's the joke Gary

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

OH

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Qué?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

My problem wasn't what I said really, I made quite sure it was a neutral tone and factual.
It was every fucker replying to all having arguments.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

How undiplomatic?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

cock gaz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

The reason we're going to be charged £14,000 in KPI failures every month from now on
is because someone didn't want to pay £50 a month for access to this system.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

You should make that person pay the fines

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

fire them to make the money back

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Ah
Good on you, firebrands are missing in most offices nowadays.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It fucking pisses me off, taxpayer money himjim totally wasted.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:51, Reply)

As a child of two (ex) NHS medical parents
it does actually sadden me to see so much money wasted.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Ooof!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:44, Reply)

well, the papers are going mad about cuts in the nhs
and how they are being made in the wrong places.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

The NHS is saved!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I went flathunting in Slough, which really is a godawful shithole by the way
And spent the rest of the weekend playing Skyrim in my pants whilst stuffing my face with crisps and wondering without any sense of irony why it is that I can never find someone.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

why would you flat hunt in Slough?
plenty of nice places just outside
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Close to work, mostly.
I won't be looking there any more. I had thought that its reputation was mostly undeserved, all towns having good bits and bad bits etc. Not Slough.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

no not slough; look in Eton, Windsor and Datchet all really close by

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Have a look at Windsor, Egham and surrounding areas. Much nicer. More money though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

It really is.
When I lived in Windsor all the working class boys' fathers worked at Mars in Slough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

You double posting ninja bastard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

By John Betjeman (1906 - 1984)
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!


Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

Slough
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

TL:DR Slough is a shithole.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

It's a poem.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I bit all my nails off last night.
No idea why and now my fingers hurt : (
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

was there chocolate under them?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Nope!
I think it's part of my mini self destructive phase.
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)

as long as it's only mini
hows life as a brunette?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

careful now

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I had an awesome day that included doing
- Teaching myself a new (computer) language... 'Visual C#'. I think I'll have my first WP7 phone completed by this time next monday... I am unbelievably awseome at what I do ^^.
- Picked up a Nokia Lumia 800 cirtasy of nokia
- Maybe possibly appeared as a big fat sweaty geeky rapist on an international advertising campagin :S
- Bought 4 bags of sweets from a markets stlll for a fiver for family.
- Went into Lush and bought a rediculous amount of stuff, their staff are scarily friendly and bubbly and helpfull... I've actaully never been to a shop with such helpfull staff before. She even held my little basket as I went around choosing things (probably so I can't feel the weight so I keep on going 'that, that, that, nope, yup' to all their products) and she seemed to know every product really well. Only slightly in love. I wonder if that uniform dating site has a 'lush employee' section. Spent too much money and felt bad about putting stuff back so just bought it. Oh well, at least that's a shitload of christmas present sorted.
- Bought some [thing] which is really awesome and pretty for people's home, I haggled with the market stall owner and got £6 knocked off the total. They'll be presents I think, but I really want one for myself. Deffo Ma' is getting one, maybe Aunty Sonia/Alan and finally... me or debs. Probably me 'cus Debs hasn't gotten me fuck all for like 4 years now, christmas present wise.
- Saw the lovely Clendrix who convinced me to come to Monty's tonight. I'm 75/25 about going on account of him being a self cunt 'cus he lives no where near a tube and making it on a school night.
- Saw my Ma' and "a chat" about money and my flat and her ex-friend Shelia who has turned into a total bitch who has been dissin' Dad agmonst the Cockfosters Maffia.
- I had some AWESOME cheeses with truffle honey.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:45, Reply)

somebody summairise for me please

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

TL;DR
He had a better weekend than you.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

ok kewl jsut wanted a brief
thanks man
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

squits, autism and cheese

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

sounds like a PARTY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Why? do you find reading hard sometimes?
I mean, if you're interested, you'd read it, 'cus you'd be interested. If you're not interested, then you wouldn't read it anyway, so there is no point of a summery.

Unless you're partially interested, like, you wanna know, but don't want to put in (what appears to you) the effort of reading, in which case, I suggest one of these gateway courses at your local collage as 'English' seems to be an obstical that is effecting your functioning as an adult.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

summary plz?
k thx
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Basically, you're a massive spastic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)

ok kl thx

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)

you forgot BORING
and probably UGLY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

dundle-di-dun click click
dundle-di-dun click click
dundle-di-dun dundle-di-dun click click

she's chubby and shes moody, her boyfriend pokes the dookie
shes chubby and shes moody
the swipey tragedy

dundle-di-dun click click
dundle-di-dun click click
dundle-di-dun dundle-di-dun click click
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

put it on one line
so it doesn't fuck up the page and this is probably the closest you have got to something that is actually worth reading.

only close, mind you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

ITS A POEM

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Consolidate all your debts into one easily accessable package, quite uni and get a job.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

WHAT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Are you _sure_ that you're a fully functioning adult?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:05, Reply)

i come with accessories

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Like a community support officer?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Like Barbie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING OJN

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

If you don't come tonight I will duff you up.
Also, I'm less than 5mins from Bethnal Green tube, or less than 1 from Cambridge Heath overground, and about three from Hoxton overground, you lazy shite.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

AND there will be lush fancy cheeses
with hot pitta and dips and meats and all sorts.

NOT the liquorice shit kind, before battered sets off again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Do I need to bring anything except
myself and wine?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

oh wait
who invited YOU
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Well it wasn't me that's for sure.

Hang on...yes it was. Soz everyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I'll just not come shall I?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I think that would be best, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Agreed.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Yeah', purely for the ratios, just in case an orgy _does_ break out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Yes.
More wine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Doubt I could find Quentin in time....
Oh, you said more WINE, not more WHINE.


Hahahahahaha. *shoots self*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Oh Jim. Where did it all go wrong?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Oh, that's alright actually, I can walk to Barbican then tube to liverpool street then tube to bethnal green.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

i'm getting a cab
although i don't actually work near barbican so there's not much point suggesting you get in it with me?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Or you could just get a bus from barbican.

( wanderlust, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Ohhh, what one?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)

It's the number GO ON THE FUCKING INTERNET AND LOOK IT UP GONZ YOU LAZY SHITE
I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Woh', you can do that on the internet these days? It's come along way since the days of people putting barbie dolls in bumholes

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Most bumhole sites have a bus timetable section these days.
Do keep up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Get an overground train from Liverpool St to Cambridge Heath,
it's only a hundred yards or so from my road.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

You can get a bus gonz. They stop outside the house.

( wanderlust, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Oh god has he moved you into a bus stop?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)

It's very convenient actually.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I don't like the bus.
The driver has too many choices, they can go left, they can go right, they can go fowards, I donno if they can go backwards. It's too many choices, a train driver can only go forward.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

or on strike

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I walked past a Lush shop once and the stench was so overpowering there's no way on earth I could go in.
Worse even than the perfume bit of Selfridges - or HimJim's sitting room as he slumped in his own excrement playing 'computer games' on the weekend.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'll let you know I was playing 'computer games'
in the games room. Sitting Room... Ptchah!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Games room? How common.
Has it got a brick-built bar in the corner and a globe drinks cabinet?

I'll bet it does.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Why would it have both?
Clearly you've not thought this through.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:36, Reply)

lush makes me sneeze
it also makes me want to eat the stuff in the window, even though i know it's made of soap. doom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

My sisters friend past out in the covent garden store

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

does she have a Tiny Temper?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Yes, but a MASSIVE MINGE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Pass Out is a song by Tinie Temper

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Incredibly, I am actually aware of this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:14, Reply)

its the one that goes 'doodly-doo doodly-doo'
dododododod, ddiididididdo,dodododo didididido
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I think the trouble is, everything smelt the same after a white.
And it's all raped up in individual cases and then in a bag that's raped up and my flat _still_ smells of Lush.

Better than fag smoke I suppose.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:10, Reply)

hahahaha all raped up

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:12, Reply)

The family and I were filmed for an Xmas charity single on Saturday that an old school friend is putting together
I gained some frequent tipping miles on Sunday and watched some football and power snooker.

Today I am drinking beechams cranberry & blackcurrant all-in-one kick-my-arse-into-gear juice. It is foul.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Do explain your sig, William old boy. I am intrigued.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Last Sunday prior to the Sisters gig my eldest son and I were attempting the Monopoly shot crawl (cheaper than a pub crawl)
We'd done about 8 other properties by this time as it wasn't in order and I was slightly tipsy by the time we hit Old Kent Road (yes, I'm a bit of a lightweight). We popped into the Tesco there to grab a bottle of Mickey Finns. Before paying I was showing my son where the toilets were when security grabbed me as I had wandered through the exit barriers without realising. They didn't buy my excuse but let me off without police intervention and a five year ban from the store.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 11:39, Reply)