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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Secret Santa,
because that thread is dead.

I have a £5 budget to spend on Secret Santa this year. Person I need to buy for is 22 year old girl who works in Admin. Suggestions?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:07, 239 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Condoms.
Last thing we need is another pramface.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I think that'll be innappropriate.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Basket of smellies then.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I think that's probably a good idea,
although, I don't want her to think I'm telling her she stinks.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)
which she will
if she wears anything that can be bought where the entire basket cost a fiver
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

www.annsummers.com/p/ann-summers-cherry-lickable-lube-75ml/09luluas1066037
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I'm assuming that's NSFW
so I won't click.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)
The words in the URL say it all. So yes. NSFW.
cherry flavoured edible lubricant
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)
Watermelon is better.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)
the worst is "candy floss"
i actually had to run into the bathroom, thought i was going to be sick.

awful awful stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
Ew! I can imagine.
Stick to the fruit ones.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)
if they are sticky
they are probably out of date
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Isn't 'sticking to the fruits' what got her into this mess in the first place?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
chortle

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Good show that man.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
firstly this was a different one!
although he had other issues. hmm.

secondly, the gaybo is no more after the utterly colossal 5 hour row that we had this weekend. game over.

NEXT!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)
*volunteers*
I volunteer BK!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
What did I ever do to you?

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Nothing...
Yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
Preemptive? No fair!
And may I remind you I am thoroughly spoken for.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Hmm, good point, I retract my volunteer.
How are we?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Good thanks.
Bored rigid ar work, but I have a feeling I won't be here much longer with a bit of luck.

How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Ahh, good good!
I'm not too bad, just looking to get Christmas out of the way, not looking forward to it in the slightest. Considering not drinking throughout the majority of December...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:57, Reply)
Surely it's the only way to cope?
I'll be spending Christmas on a farm in North Yorkshire, sat by a woodburner sipping single malt. Very much looking forward to that.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:58, Reply)
It's also the way to bankrupt yourself for Christmas, I've found
Got a Christmas night out, which I'll be drinking for free on. Aside from that, am considering a 1 pint limit per night out, until Christmas Eve.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:59, Reply)
I may need every penny I can get my hands on soon.
Fair play to you if you can handle December off the sauce though!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:01, Reply)
Going to have to try!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:08, Reply)
Five hours?
I can understand "big" arguments occurring and taking a while to play out, but five hours? Was there really that much material to argue about?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
But the silk is HIS, dahling!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
yes
well we weren't arguing ALL the time. this is about the third such showdown though. and we never used to argue.

*wanders off singing 'closing time'*

also - see you tonight!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:48, Reply)
Ah, fair enough. That would have required some considerable effort. Glad to see you're taking it on the chin.

And yes, indeed, looking forward to it!
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
i'm remarkably unbothered
the potential newbie and the fact that he really was a complete tool on sat night have probably contributed to this.

hoorah, see you guys at about 7...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
This is one of the few plusses of not working at the moment.
Not having to think of what the fuck to buy for someone you hardly know.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)

www.americansoda.co.uk/uk/American-Soda/Home/Food/Breakfast-Cereals-+-Treats/Lucky-Charms-11.5-OZ-%28326g%29.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)
urghhh

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)
Lucky Charms are magnificent.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)
They're just sugar, they're horrible first thing in the morning.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)
a date with (unpopular b3tan)

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)
I thought you had a girlfriend?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)
oh what, no need to got here man
ouch
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)
A date with Quintin.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)
the ladies man of b3ta right here girls, got janet on /talk
rachelswipe on OT and Big Girls Face wants to do things on me, gonna be a busy winter
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)
tumbleweed

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
you and me gonna be flying high in the sky of, love

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)
bit out of your usual teenage range isn't she?
nice cookbook. waterstones and m&s both have nice cookbooks on offer at this time of year.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Waterstones are such a fucking rip off

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Upped the prices on colouring books, have they?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:53, Reply)
Get her a box of sanitary pads.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Make a box up and mark it TWAT CORKS

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Officelol
:(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
Ha ha.
No.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Mooncup?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
No thanks, I try not to drink during the day.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
I have the new ICT Apprentice for mine
£5-£10. So far I have bought "Surviving the Zombie Apocolypse" for £5 as the sensible half. I need something to match the Christmas Monkey Suicide Bomber I made a few years ago
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
Get her some meat, and sear happy Christmas into it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)
I may get my nipples pierced

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
For secret Santa?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Don't get both done you'll look like a nutter.
One nipple piercing on a girl is bare hawwwwt, though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
I got both done.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
The defence rests

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
Lol

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
"tunes the radio AND turns up the volume"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
lol!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
but how will she hang the chain from one to the other?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)
get dangly little crosses like 80's George Micheal

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)
Oh man that would be so cool

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
only if your breasts have designer stubble beards...
and aviators
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Gay tits

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
she could rename her vag 'Club Tropicana'

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
WHAM!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Club Cloppercana, more like.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
*slow claps*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Imagine my delight when I refreshed the page and my eye was drawn to your new signature...

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
Ha ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
hahahaha
does that mean i get a free drink?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
Hurrah!

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)
Fucking brilliant

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
*drinks for free*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
All that's missing is the
...cock
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
No, you appear to be here

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
*waves*
Afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)
I I wasn't at work I'd look for that picture of a woman who painted her boob to look like a mouse
Or titmouse as I believe it was called.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Abby Titmarsh ? (sounds like tit mouse a bit)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)
i had a fling with a lovely girl witha nipple piercing once and once when we were out i lifted my t shirt which she was wearing and showed it to everyone in public
i still see her around, don't think either of us nos is we should say hi or not it can be a bit uncomftortable
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
A girl once flashed me her tits revealing a nipple piercing.
She was hot as fuck. And she still is unless she's done a Simon Weston since I last saw her.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)
same with this girl, she was really exceptionally good looking
bit chubby now tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
I LOVE YOU CHARLOTTE

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)
All the girls you mention are a bit portly
Are you a chubby chaser?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)
DONT THINK SO NO, I LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT shit cpaslock, lady quent sin't chubby

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
i mean she ain't skinny, but shes no lelsy tarbuck

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
Who the fuck is that?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)
Lisa's cross dressing brother

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)
I thought as much

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)
As a man who is now used to non medical body modifications, I can catagoritly say "Lucky [name]".
Actually, to tell you the truth, one of my exes had that done and I couldn't tell the difference personally, I'd imagine it rubbing against your bra would get annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
A £5 Secret Santa seems pretty pointless.
Not that I'm suggesting it's your fault. Although it probably is.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Hey they're not my friends, just people I work with.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
We had a Scrooge tub one Christmas.
Maximum spend £1, including wrapping.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
and all you got was a lump of coal
"aye, it were a mint Christmas no doubt pet man"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)
nee dooot man

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I actually got a making of Star Trek: First Contact video.
That was a free gift in some Sunday supplement. It was wrapped up in the local free newspaper. Epic Scroogery, right there.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
did anyone get a pound wrapped in stolen office paper?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I do hope so

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I can't remember.
But there was a hell of a lot of tat being unwrapped that lunchtime.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
girls get so horny at christmas

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)
In Scotland you'd get a dog shit wrapped in a pound note.

(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
I duuno, you could get somone a hamster in a Chrsitmas hat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)
How much are hamsters?
I thought they'd be more expensive
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
About £7-£9, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
I think they're about a tenner.
You could get half a hamster.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
ham?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Homney roast I hope

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
*pours drink out for those that have passed away*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
I'm making the Coca Cola ham again this Christmas
Last year's was fucking nom
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
i think the hamsters are cheap as fuck
but the cages are at least £20 and then you have to buy it shit like bedding and food, unless you want it to die about 3 days after christmas.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)
I think you've taken my post too seriously

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
look, the poor bastard can't survive on air
someone has to point out that a hamster is for life, not just for christmas, you cruel cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)
The internet is serious business.
Except Tim Westwood's Twitter feed, which I hope is one long running joke.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)
God I want a hamster in a Christmas hat.
*amends letter to Santa*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)




RIP Gibby. My nephew's dead hamster.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:32, Reply)
YAY!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)
why would you cheer the fact that her nephew's hamster is dead?
you're as bad as naked ape.

hamster haters.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)
In my defence the text wasn't there when I yay-ed

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)
in your defence...
... there IS no defence
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
BOOM, that's why you're the lawyer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)
lucky i'm not his lawyer though

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)
In my imagination
There is no hesitation
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)
oh fuck you
now i'll be singing that bitch all afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)
You should be so lucky
lucky lucky lucky
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
I just can't this out of my head
now
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:55, Reply)
I did that
Especially for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)
These are quite cute.
www.littleroosterstore.com/pages/details
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)
is that a diddlio alarm clock?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
hahahah
"Please do not use during take off and landing." brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Excellent sig update

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
ta

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)
whatever

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Oh my!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:58, Reply)
A bottle of Lambrini
I am going to cast judgement on this "admin" person and assume she would be the sort of person who likes that foul brew.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
For £5 you could get about 4!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)
Plus
There would be high percentage chance that after drinking them at the christmas party she will get her tits out...

Then everyone can sit around a judge her the next day.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
I give them a 6 out of 10
points deducted for slight sagging
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:53, Reply)
The perry so bad that even other crap ciders want nothing to do with it.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)
Lambrini is not Perry
You're thinking Baby sham. Lambrini is 'partially fermented grape must@ if memory serves. off to google I go.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:00, Reply)
*waits to be proven right*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Bollocks.
I may have been thinking of Lambrusco but I bow to your superior knowledge of the stuff cheap tarts and underage girls like to drink.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:02, Reply)
He's Northern, natch

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Erm, that's a little worrying
EDIT: Was a little worrying.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Woo!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:03, Reply)
Most odd.
I'm sure there was something my girlfriend of 15 years ago used to drink, but I guess it wasn't Lambrini. so much for my memory.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:05, Reply)
concorde perchance?
Or a classic bottle of 20/20
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
Haha!
Ask him what he drank the other weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:25, Reply)
It was Meths wasnt it?
I bet it was, or maybe a nice bottle of Turps with a slice of lime
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:42, Reply)
I have Heinz tomato soup for the first time in years
it is excellent
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)
Too sweet and cloying.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:52, Reply)
I don't eat it very often but It is lovely for a treat now and then.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:55, Reply)
A treat?
I don't understand how you could ever feel down if something as simple as a tin of Heinz soup is cause for celebration.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:06, Reply)
I mean it's not healthy so eaten sporadically.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:12, Reply)
I love that stuff, really really nice, espesh with a drop of tobasco and heavily buttered crusty rols.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:59, Reply)
Just steal some paperclips from the office and wrap them up in a £5 note

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:53, Reply)
The last thing Chompy needs to steal is paperclips

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:54, Reply)
Can you still get fags for under a fiver?
If so, that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:00, Reply)
Ask Swipey

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:01, Reply)
mine was designer

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:02, Reply)
I think I buy the cheepest fags you can get and they're £5.31 for a 20 pack.
Some places still have them for £5.03 though.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:04, Reply)
I stopped smoking when they went up to £3 a pack.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:05, Reply)
When Dinosaurs ruled the earth....

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Oh it's like that is it?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:09, Reply)
Only kidding.
Must have been a good while back though I can maybe just remember them being around £3 a pack when I started.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:12, Reply)
I was about 27.
So nearly twenty years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:13, Reply)
I was 11 then.
I hadn't yet started smoking. Lack of commitment on my part. Poor show.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I was 3

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:15, Reply)
i was minus five!/20!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
0.25?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Alright everyone.
I'm old!!!!

I get it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Nah, they are all children
not properly formed.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:17, Reply)
You mean deformed?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Well, you've met AA.
Need I say more.

I reckon Kroney hide his deformity under his clothes.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:19, Reply)
Git.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
We have met.
Surely you knew this about me. Or was I behaving?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
You were behaving fairly well, I was doing my best
But I think that went downhill towards the end of the night...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
Dear me, must have given of a false impression that I was a nice guy.
Drink will do that.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
It definitely did with me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Gave the impression that you were a nice guy?
You must drink a lot to be so all-round nice /pander
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
You plum.
I meant I drank a lot to think YOU were a nice guy.

Now the insult is not so funny because I have to explain it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:35, Reply)
I like defusing jokes like this.
It also makes you look heartless after I was so nice to you.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Pfft!
I'm not your friend anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Meany!
*sulks*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Yeah, it's true. I have a body that JUST WON'T QUIT
It's exhausting.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Well nobody would expect a 3 year old to smoke.
That'd be ludicrous. The cherries are very hot. Health and safety etc. Your mum was probably still blowing second hand smoke down your throat at that point.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
The pair of you may fuck right of.
Children should not be allowed on this board.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
By my working, Kroney is only about 5 years younger than you.
Does that make him a child?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Pretty Damn close.
I'm currently setting the acceptable minimum for being considered human at 30, 25 if you have nice tits.

He may just scrape in but it's close.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
I'm 3 months shy of 30, do i have to leave?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:22, Reply)
What are your tits like?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
pretty pert even if I do say so myself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Sadly man-tits are ineligible.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:26, Reply)

sadly
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:26, Reply)
You should judge each case on its individual merits
Nakers, send Quey a titgaz.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
*PRESSES PANIC BUTTON*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Is that what you call it?
Cheers for the Gaz, I'll open it later when no one's looking.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I'm 31 and my body's started slowly breaking.
I think I qualify.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:23, Reply)
On sufferance.
Just watch that smart mouth of yours.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:25, Reply)
That figures
That's be about the time I started smoking. *contemplates Nicotine gum wistfully*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:14, Reply)
SO buy those and take one out.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:06, Reply)
Can you imagine how foul they'd be though.
I refuse to pay £7.30 for 20 Camel Blues since I got them for a pound a go in Krakow. I only have thirteen packs left, I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do when I run out.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I think your options are:
Give up
Smoke something else
Go back to Krakow
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:15, Reply)
My only hope is that in duty free next week they'll be relatively cheap.
Otherwise it's back to roll ups, and I'm not sure I can face that.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Be a man, smoke Sovereign.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:19, Reply)

man povvo
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:20, Reply)
I can't do that, I'd fall down about three rungs on the social standing ladder.
I can't afford to drop any further.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Ahh, what it is to have standards.
I think the only thing I ever found that I wouldn't smoke was some rolling baccy called Samson. Tasted like burning plastic.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Just did the maths.
I pay £2,761.2 a year on fags, approx. I could probably go on holiday to somewhere really nice for a week, a really luxorious inside the EU, bring back a huge crate of fags, and still save a good grand or soo.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Problem is you're only supposed to bring back 200.
I managed about 800 from Poland, any more would be a struggle I reckon.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I think you've not got a limit inside the EU

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:54, Reply)
I've just totted up what I spend on booze a week.
I'll be glad when my self destructive phase is over.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)
Probably cheaper to smoke.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)
Haha!
I love my lungs more than my liver. Besides, it will be over by the new year.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Which is coincidentally the next time I expect to be smoking.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:30, Reply)
Man up.
Smoke more now.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Nah.
Not worth the bother, want to relax a Christmas and not have to be guilted for smoking or keep having to sneak outside. best to stop now and get the narky phase out of the way before when nothing's going on.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:38, Reply)
There is definitely something wrong with my brain today
I read 'narky phase' as 'hanky panky'.

Jesus, my head is really fucked.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Oh, is only cutting out the ciggies came with a hanky panky phase.....

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)
two little ducks

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:15, Reply)
Twenty-two?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Way too young

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)
it's bingo you plum!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:30, Reply)
I am not Dozer
But I shall choose to overlook the insult.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)
Do I have to start all the new threads today?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:39, Reply)
Yes
Edit: *checks calendar* Yep, it's got you down for today.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:39, Reply)
I dunno, do you want them to be good
or just more news links. If the former I suggest you desist.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:40, Reply)
It's probably too late to wade in here
but I'm going to, anyway.

Something from Boots is always good for that age group and gender. Maybe even a £5 gift card. If it seems a bit 'meh', you could add a note to say that you wanted to get something she'd actually use.

Otherwise, Hawkins Bazaar is good for little stocking filler type presents. Or make her up a bundle of pic n mix type sweeties (assuming she isn't a housewhale).
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:40, Reply)
Too late.
It's all going on* in the new thread I just started.

* it isn't all going on
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 21 Nov 2011, 15:43, Reply)

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