It's my candleday today.
Five years I've been on this little corner of the internet. I think David sums up my time here best.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=louXPUW7tHU

Alt: what tune sums up your time on B3ta?
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:35, 264 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt:
www.amazon.com/Watching-the-Clock/dp/B002CO00BQ
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I can't get youtube at work so I don't know which Bowie song that is.
Happy Candleday anyway.

Alt: I think Shiny happy people sums up my time on B3ta.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Five years by Bowie.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Do you get time off for good behaviour?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:45, Reply)

How is that likely to apply to Blousie?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I was trying to be nice and you've spoiled it now.
Anyway, what's this mincing off to Disneyland all about?

I imagine you have to wear the Goofy mask.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:54, Reply)

mask posing pouch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Gaaaaawwwsssshhhhh.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I'm far too excited about this
Most of our Ballroom competitions are in draughty sports halls. The most recent one was in Ipswich. Oh, the humanity. This weekend we've got one in DisneyLand, Paris. Can't fucking wait.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Will you be dancing against foreigns?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

foreigns Pluto
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Very possibly
This event is (somewhat optimistically) titled the World Championships. We should see some fucking good dancing, even if it does come from filthy dagoes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:11, Reply)

they have sportshalls in France you know

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Usually filled with people participating in 'sport'
rather than synchronised mincing.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Have you not seen the French football team play recently?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:29, Reply)

They should be able to play the offside trap better
Putting their hands up is second nature to them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:37, Reply)

No, but I get time off for bad behavoir.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Immediate release for you then.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Shiny happy people: Quite possibly THE most irritating song ever.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:00, Reply)

It's in the top 5, for sure
But I must invoke the horror of Barbie Girl
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I'll grant you Barbie Girl.
But there is something so utterly nauseating about SHP that it makes me want to drill my own eardrums out.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Sorry DG, do you want me to edit my post so you feel better?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)

No, you're alright Barters.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Yeah I'm with you on that
For some reason I find myself actively trying to think of more annoying songs. Why am I doing this?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Because you're a masochist?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I like to think of it as a neverending quest to provide a definitive and knowledgeable answer, no matter the question
But what you said is shorter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Didn't that win the song for Paedos competition?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Tubthumping
Chumbawumba, fucking shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I like Chumbawumba.
Tubthumping is not one of their best though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I didn't say I liked it.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Or this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jrnfKe7rqU
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Probably this one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZGrEJWAUOo&feature=related

I've never actually heard this song before, just been told the lyrics by my sister. It's better than I was expecting.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:44, Reply)

It'd have to be a song about signing up quickly
doing nothing about it for years, forgetting you'd signed up for a couple of years and then posting infrequently.

I don't think they've written a song about that, yet.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Can't you think more abstractly?

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I think James Blunt wrote one like that.
Fortunatley a serb wiped his bottom with it, and we can all relax.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Happy Candles BGB.
Nothing springs to mind, but I'll plump for this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKea-xN1aTA
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Actually this is more appropriate:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3-nsxOrv5w
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

I actually like that song, it cheers me up

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Happy flaming candle day!
I think this. I ain't never been to a b4sh but I imagine they be this classy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_zCZZOIUIM
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

I think Willie Nelson speaks for me and my time here:
I didn't come here, and I ain't leaving
I've been thrown into better places than this
I didn't come here, and I ain't leaving
Why don't you pucker up, I got just the place for you to kiss.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I think that's hit the nail on the head.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:08, Reply)

He's a wise man, is Willie.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Happy Candle Thingy Blousie.
It's also the wife's candle thingy, but I doubt she'll get on today.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I'll give her a happy candle hug on Friday.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Die Laughing - Therapy?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Hi cow!
If it doesn't get busier here soon I'm going to have to do some work : (
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Afternoon miss
*bows*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Excellent tune.
I loved that album.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:32, Reply)

It is a good one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I'd probably call it emo rubbish if released today
but I was just the right age for it and that whole album is a period in time for me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Nice to play on't guitar too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I can imagine.
Might see if I can find uke tab to any of it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:54, Reply)

This CLASSIC Personality Horse track from 1973:
www.last.fm/music/Personality+Horse/A+Limp+Wristed+Disagreement/Tragic+Show
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:34, Reply)

"you're myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you're my favourite waste of time..."
urgh, what a first world problem i have. booking afternoon tea for sunday. after a bit of painstaking research have narrowed it down to the savoy. but that's not enough. no. now i have to choose between "afternoon tea", "high tea" and "champagne tea". wtf. which should i pick??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:38, Reply)

The one with booze in.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:42, Reply)

This, obviously.

(berk, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:44, Reply)

i tried to google fangly dangly for you
but there is no online explanation. we'll just have to do it at a bash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Deal
as long as it doesn't get me chucked out of a bar...
(berk, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

well, all 20 of us got chucked out and banned
orgies have that effect on bouncers, it seems.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Why do I never get invited to that kind of party? :(

(berk, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:52, Reply)

i was about 19 at the time
and you were about 4!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Oh pfft, give over woman
You're all of six or seven years older than me.
(berk, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:57, Reply)

humph!
/old grumblings
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

High tea obviously.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:43, Reply)

see, now you've both given different answers, and.....
...... i can't cope with this sort of responsibility, i tell you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Don't listen to CQ. He's not posh like us.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:45, Reply)

posh northern
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:51, Reply)

northern has transport : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:54, Reply)

"He's not has transport like us"?
did you fro get to take your brain pills today?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Pfft! this from a man with Gonzism.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I had a look
afternoon tea appears to have more cake in it, and one of them has champagne. Go for that one.
(berk, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

afternoon tea is the one with cakes and crumpets
high tea is chip butties and that
champagne tea sounds like an awful, awful cocktail
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:46, Reply)

your all wrong
its the fast food song by the fast food rockers, sums you all up nicely that one
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:39, Reply)

hppy cndl dy
As Al would say.

I can't think of a witty thing to link to.
Have a weird dancing cat video
www.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/1088961_o.gif
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Catist!

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:55, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnCk0uGwFZI&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fresults%3Fsearch_query%3Dwesley%2Bwillis%26oq%3Dwesley%2Bwillis%26aq%3Df%26aqi%3Dg10%26aql%3D%26gs_sm%3De%26gs_upl%3D9375l11406l0l11625l13l12l0l5l5l0l204l922l1.5.1l7l0
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Nuff said

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Grrrrr

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I fucking loved Wesley

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I do rather like him.
this is good:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWWsWP9bPAg&feature=related
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:00, Reply)

You heard They Threw Me Out of Church?
or Girls on Film?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Not recently anyway
I'd forgotten all about him til you mentioned him.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Michael Jackson!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I can't think of any other song that represents me better on b3ta than this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjNJmwwf7QA

And I hate that fact.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Subthread deleted.
Feel free to hate me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I can't hate you. We is bredren.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

tru dat.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

You twat!
I was just replying to CQ's "it means nothing to me" with

VIIIIIENNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

and i had called you a gimp!
that is much more important than someone's internet paranoia, it really really is... it was HILARIOUS....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I NO RITE
sheesh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:09, Reply)

And I was just replying to you McKFC postwith the little know fact that
Ken Tucky was the original (black ) inventor of fried chicken, while Col. Sanders was his owner who stole the idea and kept the name a s a sop to poor Ken while pocketing all the profits.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:10, Reply)

But what was b3th's maiden name?
The internet must know! :o)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Fastfoodrocker, I believe.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:11, Reply)

McFastfoodrocker

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Careful!
She might delete again. she's a taste for it now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)

She will break the fucking internet if she's not careful!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)

ZingerTowerBurger

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)

B3TH'S A DIRTY DELETER PASS IT ON
AND ROOTA THE EVIL PURITAN MADE HER DO IT BECAUSE NAUGHTY THINGS WERE BEING SAID THAT OFFENDED HER.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I will fucking cut you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:10, Reply)

You'd have to find me first scouse.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:10, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=m44cAuKQ93I&feature=related
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Nope, I have no plans at all for my funeral, I'm rock and roll like that
Unlike certain prudes I could mention.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Roota's no prude.
It's not only a liking for tall dark and handsome gentlemen we share.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Do you share a brain too?
Happy candleday btw.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)

U sayin we fick?

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)

If the cap fits your massive melon heads....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Well I may not be the smartest babe in the B3ta harem but I know Roots has a brain.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Is she really good at ironing and daisy chains then?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)

You'd be better off asking her that.
IF YOU DARE!!!!
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:48, Reply)

YEAH FUCKIN RIGHT, LADIES' SHIRT!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Ladies shirt??? Hahahahahahahaha!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:51, Reply)

everything offends that prude

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I know, right?
She's just so up tight.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:13, Reply)

You have to tell yourself that to help you deal with the rejection

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Lucky escape more like

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I had the lucky escape when I managed to scare you away from my tits

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I think i got distracted by the superior breasts of Clendrix and Lusty
I'd say Al as well, but I'm not sure if he was there...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Distracted by fear and desolation

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I don't think they will appreciate being called that
Actually Clendrix probally totally would
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)

waht the fuck do you think your doing coming around here bullying people round here?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Don't turn round to me and say that I turned round to you and said that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

i'm getting dizzy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

probably your fault too rooter, you cunt

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

i'm a total cunt, Quentin

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:19, Reply)

post something on /talk so i can get modolith to ban you
you cunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Can't i get banned here?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:20, Reply)

i don't think this palce has a mod or you and b3th would be right cunted in the fuckery

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Yeah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Worked for Bert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I think there was a petition for that!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)

You may have a point there, Gary.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)

oh B3th
All that effort I made, wasted.

I'm not sure I like you anymore...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I did lol heartily at your suggestions
if that helps
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I am pathetic enough that it actually does.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I liked them too.
It's a great loss to the internet.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I wish I had screenshotted

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I'm used to that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I am going to officially dislike you for exactly 16 minutes, because that's how long I spent doing that.
Starting now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:07, Reply)

There's still 9 minutes of this to go.
I hope you're suffering.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I might start the 16 minutes again when you are actually around to notice.
humph.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Problem is, she was crying big salty tears
Then she added more salt. Then deep-fried them. She's too busy eating them now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I noticed
I just fear the wrath of the Scouser more than the wrath of the internet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You've only just bought new wheels for your car?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:24, Reply)

To be fair
I haven't had to suffer the indignity of that awful surname for over a year, and it's stopped being so embarrassing for me.
Poor Roota has got it for the rest of her life.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Only if the wedding actually happens

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Dream on

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I'm just saying
Last year 100 people died choking on ballpoint pens. Who knows what dangers are lurking in your home or office. It could happen to anyone.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)

*chocks*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)

chocking chocking chocking
*really cares and ninjas to 'choking'*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)

This is good advice.
I believe that Chompy has recently been impaled on a rusty paperclip, hence his absence from this thread.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)

This reminded me about the Jameson 60 second film winner
www.empireonline.com/awards2011/winners/done-in-60-seconds/
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:07, Reply)

A modern gal like her needn't adopt her husband's surname if she doesn't want to.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I can understand why one would want to refuse it...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I don't see anything wrong with it.
It could be worse. The missus works with a bloke who's surname is Dick. He's also the head of PE. Imagine the hilarity when he gets school mail addressed to Mr Dick Head of PE.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)

My first wife certainly didn't.
It's like she knew it wasn't going to last forever or something.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I wouldn't want to be called Badger Granddad either
Mainly as now it would be incest.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)

True.
As I remind the missus, she is technically the first Mrs Granddad.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

and the bestestest

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Indeed she is :)

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

*remebers Ma flapping her bits last time she was in London*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Oh. God.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I love that woman
:D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)

It's as well I do too.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I don't get why you just didn't edit it
Oh wait... because that would have required a thought process
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I did have a quick read through before I deleted
and all that was there was a bunch of shit 'puns' and some talk about my real name.
I'm not usually into thread deletion, but I figured there was nothing really important there to warrant a fuss.
And while it's not my real name anymore, it *is* Roota's (or will be soon), and frankly I care more about her opinion than yours. Sorry.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:28, Reply)

is Rooters real name KentuckFriedChicken Anna Pizzahut?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Come on!
Bitch fight!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I'm worried her calling scarpe's puns shit
will make him hit the bottle again
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Fuck him.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

He'll probably like it if he's drunk enough
But only if you let him call you Barbara
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Set your faces to Barbara
Has a certain ring to it.

OK then.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)

this made me laugh more than I feel it should have

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:39, Reply)

*hic*

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

GODDAMN IT MAN

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)

She hurt me sho bad, I jusht caved in.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Um...and turned into Sean Connery, it seems.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)

booze does that

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:58, Reply)

What's so bad about the surname?
Is it like McFuckcuntgyppo, or something? Because if I had that name I'd probably keep it.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:34, Reply)

If you had that surname I'd totally marry you and be Badger McFuckcuntgyppo

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

You'd totally marry me anyway, you harlot.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

A man called Kronenburg?
Be mad not too.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Mr and Mrs Kronenbourg McFuckcuntgyppo
It does have a ring to it.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:37, Reply)

And do you have a ring for me?
*hopes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)

He'd wear you like a pinkie ring.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Very much like a pinkie ring, sadly
=(
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Is this your way of telling me you're gay?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)

No, just that I have a tiny penis.

( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)

All of your boyfriends are/were gay.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)

That explains why they'll only fuck me up the arse then

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)

You're such a flirt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Who me?!
*winks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Try The future Ex-Mrs.....
*smiles coquetishly*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:50, Reply)

We can run away together with the divorce money

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)

You're on.
He'd never love you the way I'm gonna love you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Once a year when the dealer goes on holiday?

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Yeah but what a day!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:13, Reply)

That is totally true
But I have to marry and divorce/kill noel first.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Well, how rude.
tch.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Wrath? I was offering sisterly advice, blud

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Judging by what's left of the punnage up there ^
you seem awfully upset at the prospect of being Mrs Roota Ultravox.

I'm not sure I understand the problem.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Where do you think they would go on their honeymoon?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Burgerking

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Venice.
Oh no, wait, I've done that wrong.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:42, Reply)

VIENNAAAAAAAAA!
It means nothing to me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)

IT'S JUST ICE CREAM TO ME
OH VIENETTAAAAA
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

OH SHUTTUPA YA FACE!
wait...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Technically I would be Mrs Roota Ure, as Ultravox is just his band's name.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I understand a bit better now.
But only by a smidge.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I sees that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Happy candle day Blousie
Alt: Not a clue, something ambient, like background music
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Like dinner jazz?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Quite possibly
maybe a cutprice Minnie the Moocher done by a Cab Calloway imitator.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Needs MOAR trumpets.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:59, Reply)

+s
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:18, Reply)

You are most definitely not a background music sort of female.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:03, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf8FCLT8S6A
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I have no sound on work computer.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:11, Reply)

You are missing nothing trust me

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:16, Reply)

AMBERL IS ALIVE???
/watched flash gordon last night and is very busy and a bit bored today lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:28, Reply)

The best I can do for you is to offer you my five step program for meeting people in real life:
1.People are drawn to honesty. Have nothing to hide. Be naked.

2.Go outside.

3.Choose someone to talk to. People on their own are best. Make sure you get very very close before you start talking to them.

4.Everybody wants to hear how sexually attractive they are. When introducing yourself to people tell them, on a scale of one to ten, how much you want to have sex with them and which position you would choose. If you feel it is necessary, offer constructive criticism.

5.Remember that many other people are also socially inept. They may appear to want to get away from you. This is not the case, they are merely shy. Pursue them with friendship until they are your best friend in the whole real wide world ever.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Surprisingly this has worked a couple of times.

( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)