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I just went and met the wife for lunch, I had an egg mayo and bacon baguette and then she bought me some sweets, which I have already eaten.
Next saturday I'm going bowling. Do you like bowling?
What's the most interesting thing that has happened to you bowling? I met Amy Winehouse.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:01,
283 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I don't like bowling.
I think it's pretty damn expensive for what it is. Pool is often much cheaper, and I prefer it.
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:02,
Reply)
Pool in the bowling alley is very expensive.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:03,
Reply)
l
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:08,
Reply)
i am really fing good at bowling,. like for seriuos good
probably best in the world but as they don't have el;auges or anything like that i guess we'll never know
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:04,
Reply)
No, they do have el;auges in most alleys these days.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
YOUR SUCJ A FUCKEN LIAR
if they had a league i'd know about it
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:39,
Reply)
I love going bowling, haven't been in ages though, shall have to rectify that soon
The downside is how much your arm aches the next day.
Someone in the lane next to us tried to do a trick shot, hit themselves in the face with the ball, and knocked themself out. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pass out.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:04,
Reply)
if your arms ache after bowling your doing it wrong
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:05,
Reply)
We saw a girl throw her friends shoe through the ceiling tiles.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
Haha
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
I can beat that.
I once saw* Joey Deacon throw his shoe in the sea.
*on Blue Peter
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
One of the lads in work did that when trying to kick a sponge football
and destroyed a roof tile
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:11,
Reply)
No. I fucking hate bowling.
What a stupid waste of time.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:05,
Reply)
You're upset because you didn't get an invite aren't you.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Yes.
Secretly I adore bowling and have my own bowling ball and shoes at home. Any suggestion that I find it cretinous in the extreme is wholly incorrect.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:08,
Reply)
I thoroughly dislike bowling and the stupid shoes they make you wear.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
cf 'ice skating'
Undignified and wholly pointless.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Do you want to come ice skating?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
No thanks.
Do you want to come on an almighty drug bender?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:08,
Reply)
YES PLEASE!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
Good lad.
How's the cripple, by the way?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
Sill Cratcheting about.
God bless us, every one!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:11,
Reply)
Fucking disableds, coming over here stealing our big hospital jackboots.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:15,
Reply)
n almighty drug
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
i forgot to change mine once
true story. got halfway down brick lane before i realised that my feet were more slippery but more comfortable than my stilettoes usually allow.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
But you were much shorter?
Congrats on ditching the cock.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
Thanks
I feel like a real woman at last!
Oh, that wasn't a message for me was it.
As you were.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:12,
Reply)
yes
about 5 inches, to be precise.
on both fronts.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:15,
Reply)
oh dear
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:34,
Reply)
they could re-name this place
www.al'slifeblogspot.com
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Just typed 'al and rachel' into google, here's the top result
forum.fanfiction.net/topic/72324/24373679/1/ SFW, I think.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
Brilliant!
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:11,
Reply)
What horrifies me is that the only recommended result for 'al and rachel' is 'al and rachel fanfiction'
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:12,
Reply)
It's almost like the internet is telling us not to be together.
You know, I'd be willing to give it a go, but she would have to apologise first.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:18,
Reply)
+ and during
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:19,
Reply)
Do you ever wonder what it would be like if your real name was Rachel?
I like the name Rachel, I once ended up in bed with a girl called Rachel, it's a bit of a sore point now because she's actually one of my wife's friends, but I didn't know my wife then.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
The first girl I ever really fancied was called Rachael, what a coincidence.
Oddly, now I think about it, I've also cheated on two girlfriends with Rachels (two different ones)
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:11,
Reply)
"a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
I went out with a girl called Rachel
but she was a born again, and didn't do the sex because God wouldn't like it. It didn't last long.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:14,
Reply)
I don't like bowling, it's boring.
I once saw someone get their hand mangled in the bowling ball return machine thingy.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:12,
Reply)
If that happened every few minutes I might be up for going.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
Brilliant. So not boring at all then.
Was it "extreme bowling"?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
The only extreme was the incredibly low IQ of the woman who stuck her hand in the machine.
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:14,
Reply)
Fools go in........
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:15,
Reply)
lol
she munson'd herself
(
Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
someobdy clearly showing that their irish, right here
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:43,
Reply)
Very little
however, I find bowling to be a passible way to spend the time. However, I don't get this "curving the ball thing" .. I find simply picking the heaviest ball available and just lozzing it straight down the middle to be as effective as any other tactic, for your average ability bowler.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
you sound like a demon in the sack
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:14,
Reply)
demon in the right fucking
k
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:16,
Reply)
because standing there for 10 minutes before hand studying minute variations in the air
before attempting to slowly curve a ball down on exactly the same apparently meaningless path every time .. is also an attractive bedroom trait?
Nah. if in doubt, boot the doors down.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:17,
Reply)
i was referring to this bit
I find simply picking the heaviest ball available and just lozzing it straight down the middle to be as effective as any other tactic
but this is just as disturbing:
if in doubt, boot the doors down.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:18,
Reply)
Lozzing?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:20,
Reply)
yes, chap.
It's probably a northern expression I picked up in my childhood, I'm terribly sorry.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:22,
Reply)
we all know he means jizzing
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
you might
where I grew up it meant throwing. And since you grew up around the corner from me, I'm surprised if the meaning changed across 30 miles and a county boundary.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:25,
Reply)
where I grew up we spoke English
this has no filtered through to my adult years
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
you're right, it has definitely no filtered through.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
I want to find that picture that someon drew of the Millenium Falcon
and they say "That's no moon, yon coo, he'd deed, he'd no moon"
I thought it was really funny, but I don't know how to search the archives for it.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:35,
Reply)
there are miles other than geographical ones though, darling
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:44,
Reply)
I like breast bowling.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
When you get loads of women to bend over and dangle their breasts at the end of an alley
and then you all take it in turns to see who can throw something heavy enough to give them all mastectomies.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:17,
Reply)
^ this ^
now THIS you should draw.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:18,
Reply)
I've had to draw it freehand

(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:30,
Reply)
A brave and, may I say, artistically rewarding depature from your normal style. I approve.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
This is exactly what I had in mind.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:37,
Reply)
You could also substitute bricks and pieces of rusty metal instead of the bowling ball.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:39,
Reply)
Ouch.
*tuberculosislols*
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:42,
Reply)
*breaks habit of a lifetime*
*clicks one of al's posts*
christ one of them looks like me
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:43,
Reply)
It's the one on the left, isn't it?
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:45,
Reply)
Bowling is a wretched passtime for the feckless and uninspired
the best thing to happen to me when bowling was leaving the cathedral to plebian passtimes behind, I've been 9 years clean now.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:19,
Reply)
I used to represent Lancashire at bowling
true story. However completely fucking the tendons in my wrist doing it, and fucking my shoulder coming off my moped when I was 17 rather put paid to the whole thing. I've been about three times in the last 10 years because I can't do it worth shit any more and it really annoys me.
The most interesting thing was probably fucking my wrist. Interesting, but really sore...
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:19,
Reply)
Hi Berk!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:21,
Reply)
Christ, what are you on?
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:22,
Reply)
He's getting him self psycked up for some serious hot meat action.
I'm already mentally preparing myself to feel really ill all day tomorrow in preperation.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
A CHAIR LOL!!!!
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
I'm high on life, Berk.
High on life.
I don't need drugs to have a good time. Why can't everyone just have fun without seeking artificial stimulus????
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:24,
Reply)
Riiiiiiiiight
and how's that working out for you?
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:24,
Reply)
Oh, brilliant.
I'm having so much fun!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:25,
Reply)
I'm, erm, happy to hear it
any improvement on the throat plague?
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
I am a little better, thanks.
I can now sleep through all night without waking myself up by swallowing. This is a major improvement. My next milestone will be to smoke a joint without weeping in agony.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:30,
Reply)
the accident saved your life
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:22,
Reply)
Was that outdoor lawn bowls, or indoor bowls or ten pin bowling?
I like indoor bowls, it's almost as good as snooker.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:22,
Reply)
Ten pin bowling
bowls is for the elderly.
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:24,
Reply)
My cousin is an indoor bowls world champion. And is younger than me.
Scary.
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
There isn't much to do in Norn Iron is there.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:31,
Reply)
Not since the bottom fell out of the makeshift bomb industry.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:32,
Reply)
Point at aeroplanes or put nail varnish on your sixth toe?
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
How's your day going?
Are you getting excited for tonight?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
I've just done most of my teaching, getting stuff organised, and then the hot meat action can begin
if I don't fall asleep first. Which is much the same schedule as my wedding anniversary this weekend.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:36,
Reply)
Are you getting a babysitter
and going out to paint the town red?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
We're getting a babysitter,
going to a hotel, and indulging in pure, unadulterated sleep.
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:41,
Reply)
She should make him wear a full body condom.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:10,
Reply)
hehehehehhehehehe fucking your wrist.....ehehhehehehhe that sounds like a handjob....heehehehheheheheh.... while 'doing it'.......heheheheheheheh.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:28,
Reply)
I doubt much would be achieved by fucking one's wrist.
(
berk, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:31,
Reply)
Well, not just the wrist. It's quite an essenchal part in the whole thing though.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:32,
Reply)
Unless you were Jesus
and you had holes in them.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:33,
Reply)
What's this? *makes a motion with my hand held horizontally flat going up and down*.... jesus having a wank.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:34,
Reply)
Public Sector workers like bowling
Strike!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
*calls lawyer*
*threatens legal action*
*gets jeff fired from the interent without due process*
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:26,
Reply)
*sulks*
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:26,
Reply)
it's alright
last time we went for a work thing and I managed to beat my boss by one pin. This was satisfying but next day my lower back was bollixed.
(
Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
Did your boss fuck you in the ass for beating him?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
Right up to the kidneys
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:29,
Reply)
kidneys Adam's Apple
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:36,
Reply)
I'm still not right
in high wind I make a faint noise like someone blowing over the top of a milk bottle.
(
Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:37,
Reply)
Haha!
You sound like Rolf Harris having an asthma attack.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
Do you know what it was yet?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:43,
Reply)
How was your lunch, chap?
The late return has been noted.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:44,
Reply)
?
I met the most excellent Noel and DG for 2 pints before Noel's bus
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:49,
Reply)
Bah!
2 pints? Disappointing.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:05,
Reply)
W*rk got in the way
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:07,
Reply)
As did the whole 'Noel having to get a bus' thing.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:15,
Reply)
Yeah, stupid Noel
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:21,
Reply)
YEAH
THAT STUPID NOEL
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:23,
Reply)
'cos he's stoopid innit?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
His bag was fucking heavy.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:38,
Reply)
Hummm, I don't know, I'm going to the doctors in a bit, some of me broke again and it hurts a lot, sooo tireing, I watched some black'n'white film about a nuke going off in london while sleeping.
I really really don't like this game at all, it's terribly unfair. Ma' is collecting keys to the flat on thursday and then on friday I got the day as a holiday so I can organise the waldrobe fitters, carpet fitters, decorator and maybe possibly get a whole bunch of stuff.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:31,
Reply)
If you need a plumber
I know a great guy, but he's pretty busy so you might need to wait a bit.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:34,
Reply)
Oh cool, I don't think we're touching the bathroom 'till later on except for a few tiles. In the new year I'll decide if I want a really powerful shower with all the jets and stuff, or a bath with a stand-in shower thing.
I can't decide at the moment, they both seem like they've got their disadvantages and advantages.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:36,
Reply)
do you have one bathroom or two?
if you only have one bathroom you're usually better to have a bath for re-sale reasons, even if you can't have quite such a good shower. you can still have a pretty decent shower though!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:43,
Reply)
He could get one of those big showers that comes out of your bath taps and has a big head
that stand right above your bath so that it's like standing under your own personal tropical rainshower.
Hey swipe, did you know that a mere 12 months ago we were friends and you nearly invited me to a bash? Crazy isn't it. When are you going to invite me to a bash again?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:49,
Reply)
gee, i don't know
i'll take a straw poll at my pizza bash and assess the results.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
Okay, I'm willing to say sorry on the internet if you buy me pizza.
I think that's a pretty reasonable deal considering I haven't done anything wrong.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:02,
Reply)
why do you have to have done anything wrong
for me to hate you with a totally zealous passionate hatred that burns like fire (or your arse tomorrow morning)?
maybe i just HATE YOUR FACE?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:04,
Reply)
It's because it reminds you of a hot guy you dated who turned out to be gay.
But I'm not gay, I'm married. Which I guess from your point of view is just as bad since I'm unavailable, but at least you can pretend it's because someone else got to me first, rather than my experiences with you making me realise that having cocks u my bum was preferable to ever getting my dick wet again.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:08,
Reply)
you know, i think i can cope with you being unavailable
in the same way i could cope with winning the lottery and having sex with bradley cooper on top of all the cash.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:11,
Reply)
I'm not to bothered about reselling it later on, that's a good 10 years or soo down the line, I'd rather have what I want now than think about resale down the line....
... I'll probably have to change it at that point anyway.
I like the idea of being able to take really luxorious baths when I want to though.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:52,
Reply)
Get a corner bath
with the jets that fire hot water up your bum.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:52,
Reply)
Did you know that in some jacuzis, the ones that spit out air, you can use that air to breath?
It's perfect for floating face-down for hours until someone comes in and they're like "OH MY GOD, THERE IS A DEAD BODY IN MY JACUZZI ! I MUST CALL THE POLICE, OH GOD, OH GOD, THIS IS WHAT RUINED MICHAEL BARRYMORE. SHIT SHIT SHIT. WHAT DO I DO? I'VE NEVER SEEN A DEAD BODY BEFORE !" and then as they slowly go up to your body laying face down, and tap your shoulder, you turn around and yell "SUPPRISE ! I WAS NOT A DEAD BODY IN YOUR JACUZZI, I WAS PLAYING A JOKE ON YOU". and then you both fall on the floor laughing about how she called that weird guy from the pub and booked flights to arginteena before calling the police.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:56,
Reply)
You should get one of those.
But remember to leave the bathroom door unlocked or the joke won't work.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
its a slide and bsth built into one !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:05,
Reply)
i LOVE my jacuzzi
it is the tits. and it mostly looks like an ordinary bath, it's not a massive tacky thing. it is a bit bigger than most baths though, and i'm not quite tall enough for my toes to reach the end, so i do often end up half-drowned.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
Do your tits not act as life preserves?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:02,
Reply)
yeah
but they only make my knees float
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:05,
Reply)
Yeah, I'm definitely the sex pest here.
But you carry on talking about Swipey's tits, don't let me stop you.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:21,
Reply)
Seriously, you need to get over it
you just look like you're being petty on the internet now.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:23,
Reply)
If people gon' call him on his pesting, he needs to call dem on derz
so he cn get on wiv pestin in peace
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:25,
Reply)
Pesters gonna pest.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:26,
Reply)
mmm
pesto
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:34,
Reply)
Exactly this.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:27,
Reply)
Oh do behave.
Just proving a point. Now lighten up old boy.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
NO I GOT THE LAST WORD
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:47,
Reply)
Well done.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:47,
Reply)
NO I GOT THE LAST WORD
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:56,
Reply)
Seriously, you need to get over it
you just look like you're being petty on the internet now.
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:59,
Reply)
Curses! Damn you and your cavernous vadge!
(
Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
NO I GOT THE CAVERNOUS VADGE
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
I BOUGHT A NEW LAST WORD AND PUT IT UP WITH BIGGER NAILS THIS TIME
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
NO I GOT THE LAST WORD
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:01,
Reply)
I'm sure blaireau would make an exception
and he's a GREAT guy
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:39,
Reply)
He'll work for mortgage payments.
And leave dead things around your house for free.
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:41,
Reply)
You might want to get the electrics checked afterwards though.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:50,
Reply)
and your drinks cabinate.
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:33,
Reply)
No it's Paul.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:50,
Reply)
Haven't been in years
it's not a lot of fun. Ice skating on the other hand I keep meaning to do again, but being worried I'd fall over
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:38,
Reply)
i went recently and it was fun although i could barely move on the ice but i was alright, didn'y fall over or hurt myself or that
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:40,
Reply)
Don't take this as any sort of tacit acknowledgement of value to your existence,
but I just had an encounter with Moon Girl Technologies. She's enjoyably nuts, isn't she?
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:41,
Reply)
she's dippy as a fucken celery, i love her to bits
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:42,
Reply)
Is she the one that works in your office?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:50,
Reply)
no i've never seen mgt but i reckon i would
truth fairy is a mong faced geek freak who is shit at her job, thicked than pigshit and off to see maccartney tonight the fucken pleb
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:53,
Reply)
How did you both end up on B3ta?
You sure you ain't the same person?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
nobody else is sure
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:56,
Reply)
she sent me a link a while abck, i could link our facebook s and you can verify but you lot ent trustworthy
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:59,
Reply)
Sometimes the things you say remind me of another b3tan.
Sometimes I think i'd like QO to be an invention of this person.
Other times I want you to be actually existent.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:03,
Reply)
but which one do you think we are.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:18,
Reply)
WIL YOU CUT THE WE SHIT
THERS ONLY ME
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:28,
Reply)
Fucking pack it in niai
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
but imk boredan if people wanna call me quentin i'll be quentin.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:31,
Reply)
Oh, all right then
give me a minute, trying to post like quentin leaves me thinking like him, quite disturbing.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:32,
Reply)
WHAT
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:20,
Reply)
Fuck knows
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:21,
Reply)
DONT CALL ME TAT
THERES NOTHIGN WRONG WITH MY NOSE
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:24,
Reply)
I went Ice Skating in Hyde Park with work a few years ago.
I hated it.
It took me 45 minutes to drag myself round holding on to the fence. I nearly punched a child to make him move out of my way.
I am never ice skating again, I've been more sure of my footing after a weekend long vodka binge.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:40,
Reply)
The key is to move away from the edge
and walk to a clearer bit which is relatively easier. I was good at it before, but couldn't figure out how to stop
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:19,
Reply)
why everyone neam like my name now? am i poppulol? now
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:41,
Reply)
No.
Everybody hates you. EVen I hate you and I am you.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:45,
Reply)
fine line isn't there? love and hate, basically same thing that
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:47,
Reply)
Exactly. I totally love swipe, but it looks like I tease her for causing her mothers death.
Weird how those things get all confused.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:51,
Reply)
yeah, like how I love Qixy
but this menas I hate myself
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
hey idont love YUo
icant stand you
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:00,
Reply)
i think i lvoe swipe too, gotta lover a passionate woman
plus chunky birds are always grateful
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
only the clever socks acn post as both aconts at the same tiem
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
different windows for each account, different browsers, different proxys
its easy
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
the voice of experience? adam?
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
yeah i'm adam, i love frisbees and whining, everybody gotta have a hobby
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:03,
Reply)
i can't even tell if i wrote that or someone else
it looks like a really poor imitation :(
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
you are a reely poor immitation of me
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
Nice sig!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
LOL
F*ck off
(
Battered., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:06,
Reply)
I quite like bowling.
The most interesting thing that has happened to me while bowling has been being separated from my ex-wife for about 3 months due to staring at an ex-girlfriend's arse while bowling. This was fun.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:45,
Reply)
you stared at your exes bottom for 3 months? you don't get out much do you?
OHLOOKATMEBEINGDROLE
lol
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:47,
Reply)
Chompy, Give realquent his loging back please
love fakequent.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:52,
Reply)
I haven't been bowling for ages.
I like it when a boy helps you with bowling.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:54,
Reply)
When he stands behind you
and his breath catches your ear and he holds his hand under yours and shows you how to swing the ball back and as you bend down to get the backswing his erection pokes you in the hip?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
no she just likes the ball slide and barriers up so she doesn't chip her teeth on the pins
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:56,
Reply)
This too
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
Yeah that
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
dirtycow
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
no YOU dirty cow
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
no him dirtycow, i'm not durty
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:59,
Reply)
Awwww, you're so sweet.
I can't believe you're moving such a long way away.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:58,
Reply)
Away from YOU
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:00,
Reply)
You make me sad.
Your man texted me on saturday night. I got an erection in the pub.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:03,
Reply)
Did he text you in German?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:05,
Reply)
No, he noticed that Taken was on the telly and thought I might enjoy watching it
Because he gets me, you know, he knows what films I like and stuff.
Does he know what films you like?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
Is it generally the done thing to text people when you're watching Taken?
As I texted my friend whom I knew couldn't watch it "I fucking love Taken".
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:16,
Reply)
+being
roughly from behind
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:19,
Reply)
I ebt you do
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
Is that when Bill stuck three fingers up your arse?
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
*flashback*
Don't EVER wish that man a happy birthday.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 15:59,
Reply)
I rekon that'd be right empowering for a man to have three fingers inserted up his arse, it's a shame I don't b4sh really
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:02,
Reply)
Are you confusing having 3 fingers up your arse with poledancing?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:04,
Reply)
He totally is
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:05,
Reply)
IWILLBEEMPOWERED
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
IT'S NOT JUST A HOBBY IT'S WHO I AM!!!!!
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
Oh to be young and fucking stupid again
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:11,
Reply)
stupid
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:13,
Reply)
:(
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:17,
Reply)
sorry darling
but you've been very neglectful on the old gaz front of late, and you know, a woman has needs.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:22,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1458877
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:39,
Reply)
WAIT A SECOND HERE !!!! BILL GOT A GO !?;?
Oh man, ermnm... Err...."nah, he's alright really, mostly, not a bad bone"... But seriously, bill?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:09,
Reply)
Went round letting other punters sniff his fingers for a fee or so I heard.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:11,
Reply)
half pence per sniff.
Apparently my bum smells of Ryvita so it wasn't very popular
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:16,
Reply)
Don't be insane!
There was a bash, and I foolishly went. TBG grabbed my tits and went "VEY'RE FANTASHTISH" and then Lampito punched Wookie and then when we were leaving I wished Bill a happy birthday and he put his hand round my arse and it was trying to be a bit more than on my cheek, like his fingers were a bit gropey, and I said "Beg your pardon?" and he sneered and said something like "Well, you've got to try..." or something and I stormed off and vowed never to bash again.
But also at that bash I tried on DiT's glasses and remembered my flat shoes so that me and djtp didn't fall over in Kings Cross station, so it wasn't all bad.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:15,
Reply)
Fucking hell, can't blame you for not bashing after that, more than a little mental.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:17,
Reply)
She only got upset because you didn't leave frazzles in her pocket.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:26,
Reply)
Nobody grabbed mine.
I was most put out.
(
Kroney, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
maybe you should have
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:41,
Reply)
Bill grabbed my arse as well
It was horrible.
(
PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:26,
Reply)
Fucking hell
Is he Murder Eyes or Arsey Fingers?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:28,
Reply)
Murder Arsey Finger Eyes.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:29,
Reply)
Eeeeeee
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:31,
Reply)
Can anyone find a link to the photo of his eyes?
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:33,
Reply)
dun dun DUNNNNNN
www.flickr.com/photos/invinoveritas/693649342/
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:35,
Reply)
DO NOT LOOK AT HIS EYES.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:35,
Reply)
is he had downs syndrome in this?
www.flickr.com/photos/xsgerry/2797217444/
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:36,
Reply)
i don't know why that picture has a willy out its mouth but i liek the pretty lady behind him with the fat beardy man who i don't like
as much
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:38,
Reply)
Grandmaster Fluffles is very hot in real life.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:39,
Reply)
no he fucken isn't the fat beardy cunt!
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:39,
Reply)
You're confusing Captain Placid (fat, beardy, unpleasant) with fluffles (short, fit)
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:46,
Reply)
i'm happily jump both
(
Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:55,
Reply)
His teeth look just beautiful in that.
Reminds me, I must buy some bananas.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:40,
Reply)
Oh Monty, you should have been here sooner!
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:37,
Reply)
How so?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:40,
Reply)
to stop people looking at his eyes
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:41,
Reply)
No-one listens to me anyway Rootles/
It is the curse of the prophet. Right fucking Cassandra, me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:44,
Reply)
What, a dour, pointy-nosed Trotter wife?
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:45,
Reply)
Leave the internet, sil vous plait.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:47,
Reply)
Mangetout, Monty, mangetout.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:49,
Reply)
Boycey, surely?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:53,
Reply)

(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:45,
Reply)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:46,
Reply)
Genuine cold sweat induction.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:48,
Reply)
Totally the opposite of a hot meat injection.
(
Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:50,
Reply)
Both, however, causing a feeling of horror.
The former instantaneously, the latter not until the next morning when inspecting one's stools. Or rather the bowl of fizzy lava where one's stools should be.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:58,
Reply)
We had a curry on Saturday night.
It was like bloody Krakatoa in our bathroom on Sunday morning.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:04,
Reply)
I'm going to Needoo's twice this week.
Heaven help me.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:13,
Reply)
Oh dear...
This cannot end well, Monty.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:16,
Reply)
Friday I am being 'treated' as I am a charity case.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:20,
Reply)
I know.
On the plus side, I have a customer called 'Gay Pellett' though.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:18,
Reply)
There were loads of dead Malay fishermen in your bog?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:14,
Reply)
Hahahaha
but also
AAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:46,
Reply)
AAARGH!
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:08,
Reply)
Wait, wha', really? HE tried to...... more than your..... between the.... right up ....oh man.
Seriously, that's pretty grim when first meeting someone, I wouldn't even do that after the 3rd date in case whoever i'm with gets self esteem issues.... deffo by the 5th date though 'cus then the self esteem issues would go all the way over to the other side.
No wonder why you don't bash, I'm never gonna get an affair now. Bill is SUCH a cockblocking cunt, i'd be balls deep up to my nuts in guts and all that if it wasn't for him.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 16:57,
Reply)
Didn't actually try to insert a finger, just a bit closer to bumcrack with his arsegrabbing than is decent.
Not that grabbing srangers anywhere is fair dinkum.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 17:10,
Reply)
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