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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Someone really needs to start a new threadTell be about something funny from your school days.
Beakering, whining or moaning about being an outsider and bullied until you had to listen to 'The Cure' or 'My chemical Romance'* and cut yourself will not be tolerated.
Alt: I'm going to Scotland for a stag do, do i needs jabs? What trinkets should I carry to scare away the heathens? Will I need to boil the water?
*depending on age
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:41,
221 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
i went there in summeryou should try and find the beer that tastes of coffee and chocolate
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
you think you dountil you have this beer. It was amazing
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
I'm going to a castle somewhere near invernessI'm hoping to shoot a stag or a local while I'm there
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
See if you can wing the gillie.Best to make it look like an accident, though.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
This might of might not be my ancestral seat.although there are prolly lots in that area.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
Not precisely set yet, I don't even know how many nights I am stayingbut I shall go. Oh yes, I shall go.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
Excellent. Well there's me and Mighty Badger up here.Not sure who else?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)
MMPS is a Scrote, not sure where from though(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
the thing about stuff that is funny at schoolis that it's not funny by the time you're old. Or you've forgotten it.
I like scotland.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
We made our german teacher have a nervous breakdown.That was quite funny.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:51, Reply)
My French teacher was really shortso before every lesson we'd right offecsive things on the top of th white board where she could reach
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
That would be better emphasised if it had a capital F and an exclamation mark.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Nah! most people were ok.It was just me thinking I was thick and ugly.
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girlinthehole, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
I had the reverse of this.I was right
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
What? you thought you were clever and handsome?And people were shit?
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girlinthehole, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
no, everyone else was thick and ugly.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
I started a new calendar thread.www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/24077
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Gays like having the aids, it's like their badge of honour to go with their prolapsed arseholes and screaming campness(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
We used to absolutely destroy our teachers when we were in year ten/eleven. Then when we got to sixth form we realised half of them were sound and only about seven years older than us and from that point we all got on amazingly well. Would drink with them in the pub opposite the school on Fridays.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)
I got susspended on my very last day, true story.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
Although there was a good one once when our history teacher was away and set cover work.We changed the work to "study the works of Robert De Niro" and watched Taxi Driver and Goodfellas for two weeks. That caused a stir with him when he found out.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)
I hated schoolbeing the impoverished scholarship kid at a fancy grammar is no fun at all.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:30, Reply)
I thought everyone at grammar school was impoverished, hence why they didn't go to public school?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
Impoverished compared to people who can afford to privately educate their kids. And a few charvers.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)
It's an independent grammar schoolnot a state run, therefore fee paying.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:39, Reply)
Ah, school. Best days of your life.But only if you die as soon as you leave, and have no basis for comparison.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)
You know the funny thingI went to an all-boys' school, and it was the most rampantly homophobic place I've ever known. Worse than here.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:48, Reply)
there were a few lads in our year who, with hindsight, were very obviously bumdersbut everyone was terrified of being tarred with that brush.
I heard a story, which I have no reason to doubt the veracity of, about a lad in the year above who stood on a table in the common room and announced his homosexuality. Everyone was so taken aback by his stones that they applauded, and he subsequently escaped the teasing he'd previously received when his quenderism was suspected rather than official.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:52, Reply)
They never would have got away with that at my school. A daily kicking and merciless verbal bullying for the remainder of your time at the school would have been your reward. But it was a simpler time, Darth.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Yeah, such is the age gap between us that much had changed in the schoolyard hierarchyQuentin, this is sarcasm; look it up
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:04, Reply)
He's all over this threadI take it you've taken the sensible option?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:10, Reply)
i've done nothing wrongyou were all mental posting the same shit over and over and over like a looney and i've been dead good me
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:14, Reply)
He offered to suck my cock for a quarter of sherbert lemons down the thread So you may be onto something
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Exactly soI suspect he will prove to be Joey Barton, with less trousers
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Considering how cheaply I could actually get there for, I'm half considering it...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
viciously bummed him, PS it was me.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Tell you what, here's a funny story at my expenseLast day of Sixth form before A-levels, the common room was understandably awash with good humour. Lots of photos were being taken, and I was invited to join the front row of one. For some reason it didn't occur that all the rugby-playing wankers who delighted in making my life miserable were unlikely to actually want a photo of me, so delighted was I to feel included.
Never saw the plates of shaving foam coming.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:38, Reply)
so what your saying is you enjoyed being around underage children?(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:37, Reply)
I wouldn't touch you with someone else's ten-foot sterlised bargepoleyou odious little cunt
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)
playing mean isn't going to keep me keen eitherif you want me to suck your cock just buy me some flowers and a quart of sherbet lemons
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Do you operate on a sliding scale?For example, I assume it's less sherbert lemons for Monty's cock, but significantly more for Chompy's
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:56, Reply)
for chompy's i'd say half an ounce, cos he's dead charming and witty and knows how to treat a ladymonty i'd do for a quart of sherbet lemons and some strawberry laces
you're somewhere inbetween
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Some of the kids in my Sixth Form formed two groups and one group would kidnap a member of the other groupdrive them out somewhere and then give the other side clues on how to find them. As the year went on, the game got more sophisticated and the teams would employ spies in the general Sixth Form populace who'd inform on lone members of a team.
Eventually the teams got larger. There were double agents, who'd inform on a supposedly vulnerable member of the other side and then inform on the kidnap squad, who'd get ambushed by a larger group of the first side.
It became such a huge business, with cars storming into and out of the school, and people being snatched off school premises and so on, that the school itself had to intervene and put a stop to it.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
that sounds great funand something that would in no way go wrong
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
doesn't mean i wouldn't join inI've played those 'assassin'* games a couple of times
*those ones when you have a name and have to stalk them and hit them with a water pistol
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
where did you hear this scandelous rumour?!(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:01,
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those bastards, eh?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
One kid called James got tied to a tree in the middle of a woodand the kidnapping squad got distracted on the way back and forgot to send the clues.
Poor twat was there for hours before one of the kidnappers realised and went to get him.
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Kroney, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
This is still one of my favourite memorieswww.b3ta.com/questions/chattingup/post588333
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Nope, sadlyShe was the first person in my year to get married though, she's now pregnant with his kid, it's a bit cute/sickening, really.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
She'll turn fat and be out on her ear before the kid is 3. What is she, 23?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Yep, 23And nope, she's not a council house scum girl
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
She will be. Soon enough. And that's when you make your MOVE. To pay her back for being such a stuck up bitch at school.
She was TEASING you!!!! Flaunting it in your FACE!
You've got to TEACH her a lesson.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Well, she lives in Romania now, so I won't be seeing her anytime soon...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
From her Facebook - "Lives in Baia Mare, Maramures, Romania"(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
She's dumping her kid at one of those Blue Peter orphanages(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
it's got no arms and a cleft palate(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
very trendy amongst the Belgravia adopters this season(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
Just got free chocolate with my stationary order.Woooooooooo!
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girlinthehole, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
this is funny because stationary means staying stilland stationery is paperclips and that
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Ahh, so you're CHompy's sock puppet.I thought you might be.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
if you're going to accuse him of sock-puppetryat least pick a puppeteer whose grammar and spelling isn't as shit as quentin's.
sock-muppet more like.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
i've been editing my posts so much lately and corrected all my shit spelling and grammarYOU HORRID WHORE
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:59, Reply)
so you're saying poor little psychochomp is shit at spelling and grammar?god you're an insensitive twat sometimes.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
just think, you could do such a good jobif you only logged out, forgot the password FOREVER, and then never came back!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
i'll never undstand why you're always so mean to mein a parallel universe we're married and you've birthed quinten jnr
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:09, Reply)
b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1501305
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
nah, work has a filterthis site is blocked
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
we spent most of our time at school in hysterics about somethingbut you really had to be there for most of it. probably all of it.
i did once speculate loudly about which teacher's house we might be sequestered at overnight if there was a fuck-up with the exam papers, as had happened somewhere else. i dismissed 3/4 ugly and female teachers, then remembered the HAWT male PE/classics teacher, and announced: "mmmm. kendrick. heeeeeeeeelllooooooooo. imagine that in a towel in the morning."
only for him to clear his throat from about 3 feet behind us. i nearly died on the spot.
and then he was invigilating that morning's maths gcse.
and then he taught me latin sometimes at a-level.
gah.
if badger were around, i'd say "scotland sucks", but he doesn't seem to be, and i've never been (the ground was all muddy around hadrian's wall and i didn't want to ruin my shoes by crossing it), so as you were.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
I haven'tThe problem with Scotland, is it's full of Scots
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:15,
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For the same money though you could go somewhere else(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Hahahahahaha. That's exactly what has happened.
Edinburgh or Barcelona? No contest.
Edinburgh or Amsterdam? No contest.
Edinburgh or be flayed alive over a gun barrel? No contest.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Depends on your criteria I supposeFreely-available drugs and hookers - Amsterdam
Stunning architecture and incredible nightlife - Barcelona
A pub crawl in the pishing rain culminating in a quick scuttling round the back of a pub with a vomit- and kebab-stained harridan - Edinburgh.
Different strokes for different folks, innit?
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Actually not as full as you'd thinkThere are loads of English Sassenachs living here.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I have heard that, I assuem this is why Edinburgh at least is vaguely civilised(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
When I was there, I thought there were surprisingly few scotch people.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
I wrote it, realised it just sounded ridiculous, went to rewrite it, then got interrupted.What it said was "There are worse things than fancying your teacher, and them hearing you proclaim it. For example, your teacher walking in on you knobbing his daughter"
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
Not funny, but i was nearly eaten by a spastic- (this was what I forgot to post on QOTW last year)Before reading please bare in mind I have disabled relatives and I am not anti disabled in any way.
Set the scene- a small antiquated suburban Middle School (yeah we had the 3 tier system), Year 7. A warm summer day. Some idiot forgot to bring their football. All the lads are bored.
In the distance I spot a lonely looking peer with severe learning disabilities, going about his typical routine of sitting in the corner of the field, picking daisies and buttercups.
I approach him cautiously, believing him to be of placid nature, his under matured frame and and squashed skull feeling of no threat
."Hello Josh" I awkwardly mumbled. "How are you today? What you doing over here then?"
Quickly he stands up and paces in the other direction. I am baffled. What did I do wrong? As he strides further down the lawn, I jog to catch up .
"Hey, Josh?" "Eh, what’s wrong Josh?". As I put my hand on his shoulder, he does something quite unexpected. He turns around, lets out a toddler like primal scream, and grabs my flowing midnight locks.
He pulls as hard as he can. Not very. He then uses his other hand to slap me like a kipper on the left cheek. After a few seconds I pull his hopeless frame off me.
"Well I can see when I'm not wanted!" I sigh haughtily. As I jog in the other direction, with a seething mix and shock and anger coolly tempered by a rational mind, I think that the end of it.
Oh hell no.
While my attention began to be consumed by other things, the little bugger creeps up behind me and kicks me in the calf with all his might, whist moaning "Fucking go away!". It did hurt a little.
Being with friends now, and knowing nobody would dare be a filthy grass, I suddenly explode. "You stupid C**T, how dare you assault me, bastard!" (those may not have been my exact words)
I grab the lad with all my strength, give him a left hook in the face, then a right hook on the shoulder, and push him very hard onto the concrete playground.
Immediately he begins to cry. Not whimper. A full on red faced-baby fit. Immediately I am overcome with guilt. I crouch down and very remorsefully (with a tinge of back covering self pity), I bleat
"Oh, oh SHIT. Josh, are you OK? Do you need help?"
I will never forget what the fucker did next.
He immediately sprung up from the floor and opened his mouth in a trance like state. The next thing I know, he has it clamped down with agonising force onto my upper arm, his teeth biting deeply through my shirt sleeves
inches down into the flesh of my upper arm. Already he is drawing not inconsiderable amounts of blood. His death-bite jaw clamp into my limb does not relent for a good 20 seconds, despite my agonised shouts and several of my friends (including some of the strongest kids in the year) pulling his flailing legs and torso away from me as he and I writhed on the ground.
Finally my cannibalised hell is ended when a said strongman delivers a swift kick to the back of his head so hard it knocked Josh cold out (as if his brain wasn't damaged already!).
I scarper off to the school nurse for treatment and the stinging Dettol, etc. My friends restrain Josh and carry him to the room.
Then I go off to tell the Headmistress. Friends and Acquaintances thankfully back up my side of the story all the way.
My parents are called, as are His. I get off with just the scars and bite marks. He got suspended for 2 weeks.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:00, Reply)
I can believe you said "how dare you assault me,"because it's a pricky self important thing to say,
and you're a self important prick who likes to say things.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Can't remember if those were my exact words.Might have been (with obligatory Barry from Auf Wiedersein Pet accent)
"Doh yo fuckin ava go at may kid!"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Too right. Shouldn't be allowed.
Bloody Irish, coming over here. Taking our school places.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)
I read this and regretted it as it was in no way interesting, amusing or even educational(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
I'm so fucking hard right now I could beat a mong to death with it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
I don't remember Stu Francis saying that.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
i'll follow you around all night saying 'twat'then i'll have a little cry and shout 'I'M IGNORING YOU NOW'
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I wish you would.But I bet you won't
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
hahai love that this went straight to the top of the pops.
however, i acknowledge fully that this is due to everyone's views on freefair rather than on me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
Christ you become more cretinous with every post.Punching mentals. Lovely. FFS.
I can tell you're going to grow up to be an MP. Unless someone (hopefully) stabs you to death.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
Oh come onI think its too much to have expected me (and a great majority of 11 year old boys) to have not retaliated.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)
It's also too much for you to recognise just what a prick you are an try and change your ways.(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)
When you apply to be a tory politician, I'm gonna leak this story to the press"Tory candidate punches mong"
Smug, cretinous tory candiadate Freefair alledgedly punched a menatlly deficient child in the face, when questioned today he said I have no comment on this story or the speculation about my penchant for cottaging"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
I've read cereal packets that are more interesting than you.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Bollocks you've read a cereal packetyou just eat the damn things whole
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:18, Reply)
he shits little plastic toys for days afterwardslike a horrific Kinder egg machine
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
LIKEi was trying to think of something along these lines but you done it better
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:22, Reply)
"How dare you assault me"Hahahahaha, you fucking spastic.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
"Refresher...FROM THE FREEZER MUTHAFUCKER"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:27,
Reply)
In maths with Mr Slayford (aka 'Mr Gayford' lol)Steven Robson piped up
'Sir! Sir! Your watch sir - it's fucking gay sir'
I found/find this to be fucking hilarious.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
Sounds like you had to be there to derive any humour from this. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
yeah, right, fucking juvenille if you ask me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
The headmaster was showing prospective parents round the schooland took them to the main hall to see the set for our amazing new school production (something bent I expect). He had someone raise the curtain, to reveal....
The school skinhead (Andrew Richardson) taking a shit in the middle of the stage.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
HahhahaahhaNameofmykid'smumlolz
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:10,
Reply)
More clearly than one might believe possible.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:25,
Reply)
On a school trip to Europesomeone in my brother's year crapped themselves down a Dutch mine. He was wearing chinos and the massive streak of shit was plain to see. Upon leaving the mine the teachers formed a protective cordon around the now-weeping boy to stop the rest of the boys running round the back of the group to check out his epic skid.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
That's how we roll, Crowers.I don't make the rules.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:10,
Reply)
A kid at school used to wet himself at nightthen we found out that he also sometimes shat himslef and deposited the shitty y-fronts in a tupperware box in his cupboard to be dealt with later...needless to say they were quickly pinned to his wall and he never lived it down.
in fact he was once locked in a trunk and pushed down the stairs but came out smiling, so he was zipped into a soft suitcase and thrown down again...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
I had an English teacher that was so sick of me and a couple of matesbeing difficult that he grabbed me by the scruff of the neck in one lesson and threatened, "I'll fucking smash you, boy!!!"
My friends helpfully shouted, "Go on Stunned, knock him out!" and "That's assault that is, sir".
He realised the latter was true and we said no more about it.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:38, Reply)
he menat he was going to "smash" you in the common room whilst the geography department wanked off in the corner(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
He WAS supposed to be bent. That wasn't a common term for sex at the time so I suspect it would have just been the geography dept bukaking me in the common room.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Once people thought I had pissed myself in the toilets when infact my stream had merely gone 90 degrees downwardsin an upredictable fashion during the 5 second sprint to the finish during an otherwise unremarkable urination. There was a small wet patch on the front of my trousers when I came out.
That rumor hung around me for a good fortnight.
"Did you Freefair, did you?"
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:13, Reply)
I did not piss myself in the sense that it came out at the wrong time or with my clothes on.I suppose it is "pissing oneself", however this form is far less embarrassing as it does not denote incontinence.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:27, Reply)
Barely.You were visibly covered in your own piss.
Where I'm from that's called 'pissing yourself' regardless of the technicalities.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:31,
Reply)
With that attitude sunshine I'd bring a knife if I were you.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:18,
Reply)
Hi MMPS, will i see you when I'm North of the border?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:20,
Reply)
I dunno, are you stalking me?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
He couldn't stalk his own feet, that one.I wouldn't worry.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:33,
Reply)
There was a boy in my music class called Michael Green.He looked and acted 100% like Danny Kendall from Grange Hill. A grubby little shit who came and went as he pleased, getting through hundreds of fags in the process. He was expelled from our school and then from every other one in the area and was relucantly taken back again.
He took a swing at Mr Symes (himself an utter cunt), booted the double doors of the music room open (ground floor) and did a runner across the rugby field to freedom. Before he'd got more than 30 yards every overlooking window in the school was packed with cheering boys, waving him on. It was fucking superb.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:23,
Reply)
Amazingly, throughout the whole incident, to my knowledge, not a single boy crapped themselves.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:23,
Reply)
Oh yeah, shitty sands shat himslef in biology in second year.Hence the name.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:27,
Reply)
Someone started the story that Mark Holland shagged a sheep on a school trip.Incredibly for such a ridiculous story, it's still stated as fact today, over 20 years on. 'Whatever happened to Mark Holland?' 'Oh you mean that lad who shagged a sheep?'
'Yup, that's him. Old sheep-shagger'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:29,
Reply)
Also, during a class trip just 11 months ago to ParisMy 2 (male) roommates gave a couple of girls next door the room key, and allowed them to barge in just before lights out and wax a large strip of hair clean off each of my very luxuriant legs while they and 2 other lads held me down.
I was expecting it to hurt in the few seconds before the hot wax was pulled off, however I didn't feel a thing either time and in fact had it done again for charity in May.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:41, Reply)
Also just 2 months ago I was in a class when animal vivisection was being discussed.I piped up "That's getting them neutrered, isn't it?"
"No, it means animal testing!" a girl cried (I had forgotten the term)
"I think you may be thinking of vasectomies" my teacher smirked.
And the whole small class collapsed into a fit of giggled.
Sounds innocuous, but you had to be there, man.
(, Mon 16 Jan 2012, 17:52, Reply)
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