FRIENDS!!!
Who has IRL besties? How and when did you meet? Why do you get on so well?

Only springs to mind as I had a lovely long chat with my bestie in New Zealand last night. It cheered me right up.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:11, 139 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

No-one, obviously.
My best friend from school went mental and I haven't seen or heard from him since 2005.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Lolmentals!

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)

He has these periods in his life
where he just shuts himself off from everyone and everything, including his parents. His mum rang me not long after I'd last seen him as she hadn't heard anything from him for six months.

She did tell me the name of the condition he has but I can't remember what it is. One of the symptoms is a complete lack of empathy for other people's feelings, I seem to remember.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Mmmmmm!
Autism?
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

No.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Sounds a bit Aspergers to me.
You know, in a 'takes one to know one' sort of way.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Nah, it's not that either.
The lack of empathy bit is just one of the symptoms of it. Basically it boils down to him knowing he's OK and being unable to comprehend why others might be worried about him because they haven't heard anything for months. Or something like that.

I gave up trying a few years back, to be honest.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I think the medical term is "cunt".
But I'm not completely up to date with trendy modern nomenclature.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

You'll be surprised to learn
that almost everyone who means anything to me, I first met online.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)

Aw hon! I love you to.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:17, Reply)

The internet has been pretty good to me.
It's given me a husband, a sister-in-law, five of the best friends you could ever ask for, and a career.

Oh, and you lot.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Pah.
Your internet is rubbish. I got a wheelbarrow and a shed from mine.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:43, Reply)

i have lots
some from school and some from uni and some from work.

i was just washing my hands in the ladies when an unknown "lady" in one of the cubicles behind me let rip with a fart so offensively loud and long that i actually jumped and gasped with shock. i thought monty's luftwaffe cousins had come to strafe the building.

how fucking disgusting is THAT?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:16, Reply)

We all pass wind Swipey.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:17, Reply)

firstly, i NEVER do
and secondly, seriously. whoever that is has........ major major problems.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Bullshit. It's a biological impossibility to never break wind.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

I'm betting that swipey lifts the duvet every night with her gusset trumpets.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I'm gonna go out in a limb here and say swipey is being fasheeshus here.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)

is he the guy that says awooga nad pats people on the fanny?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:27, Reply)

No that's Akabussi.
Also, nad pats?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:28, Reply)

You can get arrested for that

( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:32, Reply)

bloke i know got sent down for 18 months for patting someones arse
true story
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)

Doesn't stop it being grim.

( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:19, Reply)

at least she went to the bogs to do it.
For christ's sake, if you can't even fart in the loo, where can you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:19, Reply)

But my wife's right here, on the sofa...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

How is the little trumpet trouser btw ?
She was going to ring last night.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Knackered her back at work yesterday so went to bed early.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)

You think that's sick, check this.
www.lamebook.com/seeing-red/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:21, Reply)

That is brilliant.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:24, Reply)

*puts down cranberry juice*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

This thread is unfair to Quinten, Freefair and Naked Ape.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Hey you.
Are we allowed to ask?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

They want to see me for a 2nd time on Tuesday. If successful I would start the same week.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Woo hoo!
I'm crossing my digits for you as we speak.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Ta. I am trying not to get my hopes up.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:23, Reply)

This is either a job interview
or you've been in court this week.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:26, Reply)

An interview.
The court appearance isn't due for three more weeks.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

oi!
i consider all of you my close personal friends
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah?
Then send me details on that sofa bitch!
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)

oh fuck soz, forgot
also she didn't reply to the message i sent on facebook, she's one of them over forty who hardly uses it, and i haven't been into their office today

willc hase tho, sox
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

It's sad because it's true : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I'm going to see my best friend in the summer.
He's a Yank that was adopted by other Yanks. They moved over here and he repatriated himself and then married a Yank.

He owns a machine gun now, apparently. Pfft, Yanks.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Wouldn't be a yank owning a machine gun
Northerners have stricter gun laws. Assault weapons are down South! Yeeeeehaw!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Well, he's in Virginia.
Northern Virginia. So technically the South, I think. It's right on the suburbs of DC, though.

He's still a Yank, he was born in Minnesota. His wife is, you are correct, a Reb.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:34, Reply)

I couldn't work out what someone at work was saying just now, so they told me to just take it easy today.
I still donno what she wanted, I think I did it exactly what she wanted, but I guess not. Eaither way, my media system is amazing, I've got so much to watch, there is a new show called Alchotraz* which looks alright. I've also got myself every eppisode of 24 and The Outter Limits.

* OH GOD, the name of my bar, will be set in a prison and be called alcho-trash.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:24, Reply)

I might watch that tonight.
I need a new show after finishing Terra Nova.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)

I really enjoyed Terra Nova, it's all a bit of silly fun, think Lost meets Back To The Future meets Jurrasic Park.
/ac

The twist at the end of the last epp was WOH
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I'm quite interested in teh Alcatraz series
But then I'm a huge JJ Abrams fangirl.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)

If you want to come over and watch it with me, that'll be swell.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:01, Reply)

I has 2 bezzie mates (discounting people I met through here).
One was at school with me when we were 10, then we lost touch for years when my folks moved house, but met up again in our late teens and have stayed close ever since. The other I met through a dating site, we were together a year or so and then transitioned to friends, I have no regrets and we remain bestest buds without ever getting any urge to get back together.

I get on with both of them because they are the same flavour of odd as me, so we understand each other.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:25, Reply)

You've met my "IRL Bestie."
You may recall sitting on his lap...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:28, Reply)

I'd be surprised if Blousie remembers anything of that night, tbh.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:29, Reply)

I still don't think I've quite got over the surprise of sitting down outside that pub in the middle of nowhere with said friend...
...only to watch The Internet lurch into view over the side of the hill.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Ha.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

*sings*
what's that coming over the hill
is it a bunch of cunts
is it a bunch of cunts
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:30, Reply)

There's a girl who's given herself the title of my best friend, but it's a bit playground isn't it, 'best friend'.
I certainly have other mates who matter as much to me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:31, Reply)

My IRL bestie introduced me to this place
I guess I should thank her for it, really, as I've met some lovely people but I would probably have got an awful lot more work done over the past three years if she hadn't... especially since I know her from uni and we were revising for our finals when she told me about it.
(berk, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I've just thought of a new way of pointing to the beach, btw.

( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

This is code, isn't it?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)

If it is I'm as stumped as you
only one thing sprang to mind and I'm not sure why he's telling me, if that's the case.
(berk, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I met my oldest friend because our parents were friends before we were born.
We were in the same class throughout school and work together now. Surprisingly we're not sick of each other and both of us can only ever recall one incident of us falling out (aged about 10, neither of us can remember why).
We're actually quite different from one another and share few interests, but just get on well. I suppose it is more like a fraternal relationship in that sense.
I have other close friends, with whom I have far more in common, but he was the obvious choice for best man when I got married.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

^ Gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:33, Reply)

No, I'm down here
Not the first time I've said that this week
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Well, while you're down there...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:37, Reply)

^ fucking super gay ^

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:35, Reply)

My best mate and I are exactly like that.
only I was his best man. Because I'm not married.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Friends are well gay.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Only if they push back

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I refuse to answer this truthfully
as it would definitely lead to me being asked to fuck right off.

I've got vine leaves. I fucking love vine leaves.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Vine leaves?

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)

I'm guessing he uses them to dress up like Adam.
You know, 'Adam and Eve' Adam, not 'internet weirdo' Adam.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Except with darth it is 'Adam and Steve'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

I'm guessing dolmades.
I love dolmades.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Pants are SO last year, darling.
Biblical pre-history is totally back in.
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

STUFFED vine leaves
It's one of the yummier posh twat foods.

Worryingly my phone autocorrected "Yummier" to Himmler. No word of a lie. My phone is Monty AICMFP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Dolmades, then.
The missus' phone auto suggests CDC for 'xxx'.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)

My mate and I met up at art school.
We bonded on the first day as we thought everyone else in the class looked like a twat.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:36, Reply)

as we thought everyone else in the class looked like a twat due to an amusing mix up with some sellotape and a tube of Bostik.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

else
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:38, Reply)

You zinged me there good and proper Shambles.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I totally did.
I'm going to do the pimp walk of internet victory all the way to the coffee machine. Pass me my diamond-tipped cane. Awwww yeah.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I have two.
They're both ginger though unfortunately.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Your bollocks don't count.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I totally made myself laugh.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:44, Reply)

My bollocks are balder than Stone Cold Steve Austin.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:45, Reply)

And considerably less polite.

( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I now have an horrific mental image
of bollocks with goatee beards.

I was eating Falafel as well.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)

It's ok, Darth
I expect they're really more of a Richard O'Brien
( Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Cheers
That really helps
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:52, Reply)

eating noshing Falafel Nigel from accounts
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Lol
It was funnier before you changed it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Noshing's more descriptive than eating in this case.
Quite why I'm not sure.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I think Giles "Monty's Best Mate" Coren has an opinion on that matter...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:57, Reply)

I was gonna post this, I love that letter, makes me lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)

*is none the wiser*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

WARNING: You will want to slap the posh cunt after you've read this.
www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jul/23/mediamonkey
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:05, Reply)

That is fucking awesome.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I love it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

I think it's quite funny.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:11, Reply)

Oh, it's hilarious.
I just think he comes across as a cunt in the process.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Surely, SURELY he's taking the piss

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

How terribly middle class.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:49, Reply)

class Eastern
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:50, Reply)

It's a short step from suicide bombings, mark my words!
ombumm
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:54, Reply)

What?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:56, Reply)

POTD.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Thanks!
I am quite proud of that one.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:47, Reply)

An old b3tan is my best friend
When I transferred schools, he was the one who showed me round on the first day. As I wasn't in the same form, we were friends, but didn't see each other much at first, until I fell out with the group I was hanging round with at the time, so started to see him more.

Since then we've been to gigs, been on holiday, lived together, so on and so forth. He's my best mate, and I miss him when I don't get to see him, but it's his daughter's Christening on Sunday, so I'm seeing him then. Can't wait.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 14:58, Reply)

WARNING: contains metric fuck tons of gay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:00, Reply)

AA, you should change your sig to this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Sorry, I'm still rather fond of my current one.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:03, Reply)

This post contains more gay than Darth's anus on a friday night.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:02, Reply)

My post?
Or AA's love letter to his boyfriend?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:08, Reply)

AA's perfumed nancy boy original

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:12, Reply)

i heard he glues down the envelopes, when he writes, with his own spunk
which he lets dry, then licks like a normal envelope to make sticky again
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:13, Reply)

He writes with his own spunk?
That must be hard to read
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:16, Reply)

you simply shine a UV torch on it
This is how he marks all of his belongings and why his room smells like a fishermans welly boot
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Genuine officelol

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Darth, you should change your sig to this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I will, on one condition
That you change your sig to whatever I choose. And retain it for at least a month.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Give me a selection

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:15, Reply)

This will take some thinking about
I'd like to open this to suggestions from the floor
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:18, Reply)

you bitch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Naked Ape - Like a poor mans Monty Boyce.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:21, Reply)

I thought Monty already was a poor man's Monty Boyce

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:22, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Got it
I'll change my sig to your suggestion as long as you change yours to; "Blowies, rimjobs, fisting, make me an offer; (insert Mrs Ape's actual phone number here)"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:26, Reply)

it's 01603 753 652

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I'm tempted to ring that just to see.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)

It's a Norwich number

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Wroxham actually
Although I doubt he knew that when picking 6 numbers out of thin air
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)

I'm gonna win the lottery this week \o/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Is it Roys?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Nah he has an 0898 number

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:42, Reply)

*puts finger on nose, points*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:33, Reply)

She's your sister?
You sick fuck
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 15:32, Reply)

Yep
I see Pooflake a lot (insert (fnaar) gay joke here). Met originally through martial arts, then through our mutual love (cue strikethrough) of acoustic guitar music.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 16:44, Reply)