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it's a new thread! LOOK at it with your eyes and enjoy it with your brains
Chompy suggested that the bus was a good way to get home from a restaurant that you've been to with a girl. What disasterous dates have you been on?
Alt: I dunno, food/fake weekend/plans etc etc
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:46,
215 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I cannot recall ever having gone on a 'date'.
This is because I am English. Dates to me are food or calendar entries.
With this in mind, I urge you with the utmost severity to
a) delete your account and
b) kill yourself
Alt: I'm not seeing my daughter. I am fucking livid about this. My ex has lost it again. Yesterday she referred to 'defamation of character' because I pointed out that, as a benefit cheat, she's on thin ice going on about the CSA. Two weeks ago her kidney function was down to 15%. Hopefully she'll be dead soon.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
Actually i've never been on a date either so do i still have to kill myself?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
I'm afraid so.
Sorry to be the etc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
Are you going to "shop" her to the Sun?
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
I think he'd prefer to throw her into it.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
If she involves the CSA
I will go straight to the govt 'rat on a benefit cheat' hotline.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Looks like it's just you and me old bean
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
I went on a date that I didn't know was a date
until she started trying to suck my kidneys out through my mouth.
That came as something of a surprise.
Most depressing date was with a really cute little redhead shortly before I got together with the ex. I fancied her a lot. She was...disparaging. Not rude, but refused a second date on the grounds that she was swimming in cock and I lived a bit too far away. Shame, that. I'd have ruined her.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
She sounds classy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
Which one?
(
Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
cock swimming ranga
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
Oh right, that was my phraseology.
hers was "buyer's market". Which is almost worse, somehow.
(
Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
that is a bitch thing to say
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
Ugh what a foul person.
She did you a favour.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
so she was basically a hooker, then?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Ha ha, she sounds cool.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Yeah, I thought so.
It would have been cooler had she not directed that comment at me though lol
(
Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
fuck it, I'd rather hear that to my face early than if she just thought it
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Never been on a date.
Spectacularly fucked it up with many girls whilst chatting to them for ages on nights out by saying something stupid/offending them later on though.
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Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
Went to the Nottinghill brasserie for dinner on Wednesday with my husband and the boring spastic kept moaning about how expensive it was
Then on the taxi ride home he kept complaining about how expensive that was and going on an on about having to pay for a babysitter.
Then he was surprised when I didn't want to have sex with him at the end of the night.
/Mrs Ape
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
It's sad because it's troo :(
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
You're trying too hard if you have to impress them with a mode of transport.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
not at all, how can you suggest walking to a bustop
waiting in the wind and rain for a bus, that's full of drunks to slowly wind it's way home over the course of an hour when you could get the restaurant to order a nice warm cab to take you directly home?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
Then you can sit next to each other and mock the proles.
And get a taxi if you want, but don't then moan about the cost.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
I wasn't actually moaning
all i said was I was broke and this was one factor, many other factors this month have led to this state of affairs.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
...and this is why you're welly-deep in flange and sinking, yes?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
I'm no longer a single lonely WoW player.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
you are a single lonely Minecraft player
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
Screw you Ape, I'm going home.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
try being a bit quicker
and a bit better
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
You've found a new game?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
I am waiting for Guild wars 2,
but that's not what I was getting at.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
You really must be incredibly witty and charming in real life, I mean that.
It's literally the only way I can see to make up for the fact that you seem, online, to be completely devoid of any form of chivalry.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
It's my massive cock Kroney.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Strange name for your cock.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
I think I'm going to be shufflein'
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
recently i went out with a guy who revealed himself to be a rather intense christian about 30 mins in
that was pretty bad.
and there was one guy who spent the entire date texting his ex. also quite lame.
but only the cunt who expected me to sit in the freezing cold so he could smoke his cheap-ass rollies and expected me to pay for everything without even saying thank you (the classic line "yeah, i assumed you'd pay" made my friends howl with laughter) was what i'd call a total disaster. i think he must have been raised by yaks, or pigs or something.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
He was probably Northern
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
RACIST
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
+irish
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
and you paid?
pfft sounds like you were the mug there swipey. He played you like a cheap fiddle.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
i was always going to pay because he earned the arse-end of fuck-all and i knew that - i really don't believe that guys should have to pay for everything
but a "thank you" would not have gone amiss.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
he didn't even do you up the arse? what an ungrateful swine!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
i very much doubt he could have found anything as delicate as an arsehole with both hands, a map and a torch
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
I thought he would have found it by "accident"?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
what, his wallet?!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
delicate? christ, check out miss fancy pants here.
chompy has done you up the arse, right? did he say it was delicate?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
it's like thumbelina's palace, tiny and delicate
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
..and full of cock?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Sorry, but I just really fucking love God.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
silly kroney, you were not a date
you were the world's worst hangover, however
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Fuck that, I barely kept up with you.
Your fault. All of it.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Had a few post-night-out dates
where upon turning up, it appeared that I'd had my beer goggles on previously. Never a good start to a date
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
ah, I did meet some lass at the cinema after I'd pulled her in a club
and she wasn't quite the stunner my boozed brain had assumed. She probably felt the same however.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
This can be most awkward
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
they've all be eminently successful, I think.
I can't think of an interestingly bad one, anyway.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
This post has badger written all over it
like a croissanty rash
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
needs moar being a cunt, I think.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
It's all about timing the administration of the Rohypnol correctly
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
quite so.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
I have never been on a date.
Shocking, I know. Comes from being a sad internet shut in.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
terrible
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
+married to
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
I've never been on a date, so I don't really have any bad stories, sorry.
*deletes account, kills self*
Alt: None, I'm dead.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Thank fuck for small mercies! scouse prick.
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ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Up yours, tubby.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
LAZARUS! MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIE SCOUSE PRICK!
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ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
He didn't want to go and feed the ducks because he was "cold"
and we couldn't find anywhere to get a decent cup of tea :( Still had a lovely time. And that's probably as bad as they get.
Weekend will be librarytimes, I should think. I'm craving naans, bizarrely. I have none.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
I craved indian bread, but I had naan
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
WELL I THINK IM FUNNY SO FUCK YOU
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
Epic phaal
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
I like that!
Sorry for neglecting you plz 4giv meeee xxx
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
OK will do!
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
Another successful bread reference.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
It was pain-ful
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
I had a date burst into my room and punch me in the face at 2AM.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
hahaha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
None that bad really.
Worst was probably one from a dating site where, I knew from the second I turned up at the pub she'd suggested was not going to be a match, but I didn't have the balls to just make excuses and leave. Odd thing is she seemed to like me for some reason. ah well, coulda been worse.
Alt: Getting my shoulder patched up, not much else. Off onna date tonight, but I doubt that'll be fodder for this question.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
The only date I've been on was a long weekend in Amsterdam.
At one point I was in the toilet of the hotel room having the most noisy, farty dump ever and simultaneously laughing at myself and crying with embarassment knowing she could hear every trumpety fart.
Surprisingly, that was the start of what was a great relationship.
Alt: drowning my sorrows in cheap wine, as usual.
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Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
I would be utterly mortified.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
I think it was the most embarrased I've ever been since I wet myself on a primary school outing when I was three.
I really felt like a character in a crude romantic comedy.
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Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
be utterly mortified have asked if she minded passing the ice cube tray from out of the fridge, as it had been a 'sloppy one'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
I've slung a net across underneath the seat
anything too sloppy to get caught isn't fit for task.
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Kroney, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Quality control. Like it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
+sh
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
I once split up with a girl because I heard her have a loud shit and it turned me right off her.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
You are Lloyd Cole AICMFP
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I have no idea who that is.
A quick google doesn't explain your comment either.
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Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
He released a v poor single
the first line of which referred to a lost weekend in a hotel in Amsterdam. Nothing about loud, farty shits though. That's all yours.
He looks just like 'TV funnyman' Jimmy Carr.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Another successful music reference!
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
If you've never heard of Lloyd Cole
I'd pretty much despair of you.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
Stop causing a Commotion
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
I like it when he hangs off the clock face.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
10/10
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
Nope.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
I will keep doing them. I don't fucking care.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
Ah, I see now.
I think Amsterdam is my favourite place to holiday.
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Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
I find it rather depressing, personally.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
Jimmy Carr has a FUCKING MASSIVE HEAD
I can confirm this
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
August 29th, 1997
Judgement Day my fucking arse
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
I'll Judgement Day your fucking arse in a minute son
...wait....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
Extreme anal bleaching
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
"I'll be back*"
*wheels in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
Good for him.
One of the few actors I have much time for really.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
'I drank the bong water' made me lol
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
I don't really do dates
There was the one where it turned out the person thought it was a date and I didn't, then it turned out that he was poly and thought I'd be cool with that. It was a case of a polite no, take my handbag and go.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
He was poly?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
He wanted a cracker.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
Are you saying Amberl isn't a cracker here?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Sad times :(
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
Hahaha
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Yeah he already had a girlfriend
and was looking for more. Not my scene
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
Ahh, OK
Never heard of it being called that before. I would call it "cunt"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
Polyamorous
Like being in an open relationship, except you're effectively allowed as many regular girl/boyfriends on the go as you like
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
I thought she was was just calling him fat
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
The few poly types I know are highly attractive
It's the sexual equivalent of walking into Harrods after winning the lottery
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
*something something tunnel something*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Alright Dickie
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
I disagree with this
the few poly people I know are generally unattractive, and the men are downright sleazy
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
Shame
I must introduce you to my friend Ruth
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
I'm sure she's very nice
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
You missed out on the opportunity to dissect his life in excruciating detail, whilst getting pissed at his expense
If I was a chick I'd be all over that
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
depends how tedious his life is
for some cunts, there's not enough vodka in russia
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
It's gotta be better than Eastenders
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
you'd be surprised
at least "eastenders" has an off button
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Oh I was pretty pissed by the time I found out
so it was the end of the night really.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
Midnight Chase has fucked me over for £1600.
I hope it gets put down.
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Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
What were the odds?
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Of being fucked over by a betting house?
Better than average
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
It's almost like they invariably make massive profits
at the expense of mug punters or something.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Did you say you've been to Morroco?
If so would you recommend it.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
I haven't been
and I wouldn't recommend it.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
Your help is always appreciated.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
Have you really got a girlfriend?
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:14,
Reply)
I've not changed my facebook status,
but it's getting there.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
I for one am v pleased for you. Like you give a fuck about that.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
PRINTING THESE POSTS OUT!
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Hey Monty, yeah Monty, over here! Monty!
Where did you go on holiday? Did you have a good time? Can you please tell your girlfriend that I was unable to find chicken salt while "down under" and convey my apologies.
Do you want to arrange a hot meat evening with CHCB sometime in April?
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
Hello Alzorz.
Iceland. It was fucking great, thank you. I will pass on your apolz, and of course am always ready for HOT MEAT STUFFED IN MY FACE in a non gay way, like.
How are you and your delightful missus?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
We are quite wonderfuly thank you
Had a great trip to Oz and only got slightly sunburnt. I will liaise with the our favourite flame haired potato wog and come back to you with a date.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
Splendid.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
I'm genuinely happy for you.
I know other people on this site (not mentioning any massive homosexualists with silly hair) think you're a cunt, but I am glad you've met someone.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
I resent this enormously
My hair is no longer silly
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
Without doubt.
It's fantastic. I went to Essaouira, which was wonderful. Not sure I could cope with Marrakech though, bit too 'you must buy my souvenirs, effendi' for my liking.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
I was looking at marrakech or Barcelona for a week at the end of april.
Hmmmm, I'll have a think.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
I think it's very 'hard sell' but if you've no problem being rude I'm sure it's great.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
I've not had much trouble in the past.
Plus I tend to go for the "scruffy backpacker" look while on holiday, so I don't get it so bad.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
I had a great time in both cities but a week is too long in Marrakech
Genuinely, within 2 days you'll be looking outside the city for stuff to do and it's all a bit of a trek, it'll cost a bomb. Barcelona is an absolutely amazing city
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
Your advice fails to take into account potential hashish-based catatonia
during which several years might happily go by.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
I wonder if her accent would be even more annoying after hashish...
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
I used to really like her.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
I've been
I'd recommend it as long as your tolerance for streets that stink of piss, and being treated like a giant walking dollar sign by virtue of being caucasian, are reasonably high
(
Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:14,
Reply)
You like being treated like a giant walking anus.
Because you are a gay person.
(
Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
HE REALLY IS!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Hang on, there's a business model here
Someone get Duncan Bannatyne on the phone
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Nah, he went down the other route
and charges people a fortune to use running machines.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Only Dragon whose name I can remember
I'm somewhat perplexed by the notion of paying to go to the gym unless you're an epic narcissist or racked with self-loathing. Which makes it doubly surprising that Monty's not a gym-goer
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
I'm really pissed off with myself for signing up again in january. Such a fucking waste of money.
Next time I really will remember why it is that I hate the gym and all the brain dead cunts that work there.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
I'm genuinely asking;
what makes it worthwhile? Obviously not the running machines - what do you use that you couldn't at home?
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
Weight machines and pool?
I still think the local swimming pools are much better value for nearly everyone though, usually £3-4 a time.
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PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
Agreed in principle, although I don't like swimming due to contact lens/blindness issues
I've got free weights at home which work out cheaper as a one-off payment but obviously don't give you the range of workout options that the machines do
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
It's a lot closer than my nearest decent pool, which I'd have to drive to.
But it's just so fucking rank, it's filthy and the staff are such retards.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
Free weights are all you need for any workout options.
In fact, you don't really need weights, if you have a chin up bar then you can do most every sort of strength exercise using your own body weight.
Unless you're Bobby in which case your body weight is too great to use.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
The main advantage that I can see of doing free weights, or indeed the treadmill, at home
is that you can choose what's on the telly
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
Have you heard the new Lamb of God album?
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
I have not
Recommended?
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
Most definitely.
It's fucking brilliant.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
Right, thank you very much
I shall look it up this evening. Off now - you'll never guess what I'm going to do
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
Lord's Prayer wank?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
i go (i) because i pay so much for it that it would piss me off if i didn't, so it makes me go
(ii) i like to use the spa bit on sundays
(iii) i have my own weights, mat, medicine ball, swissball and a boxing tube in my flat - but the resistance machines at the gym are still so much better
(iv) classes - zumba etc
i'm not sure if this makes me an epic narcissist or racked with self-loathing. both?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:27,
Reply)
what is a swiss ball?
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Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
you know, those giant inflatable balls that you do squats and other exercises with
only mine came without a stopper, which i only discovered after i spent some time blowing it up. fucking adidas.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
so a swizzball, then?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
haha
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Swipe takes trophies from her lovers
She also has a Norwegian scrotum and a Scotch cock (don't tell Dozer he'll ban me)
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
She also has Asian shit in her cunt
/too far
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
actually i've only ever shagged english blokes, now i come to think of it.
the ex is indian, but he was born here, so that doesn't count.
i need to go travelling more, that's pretty fucking dull.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
As far as reasons to travel go
"Wants exotic cock" is still better than "gap year to find yourself"
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
they have to be good, though
"good exotic cock"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
We assume the former anyway
I've not been to Zumba because I'm pretty sure my inner dance snob would loathe it
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
What is a boxing tube?
Also resistance machines aren't better than free weights, free weights are better in every single way than any machine.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
I prefer anything that is free.
:(
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
you know, one of those man-height things that you punch and kick
if you're working out by yourself and you're relatively new to it, i think the machines are safer. sure if you stick to it, you can graduate to free weights. but you can do so much harm, or make it so pointless, by getting the movements wrong with free weights that i prefer the machines at the moment.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
Just start with a light weight, then you can't do any harm.
You have to use every single machine to get a proper balance of muscle strength, but if you use free weights then the fact that it doesn't run in a smooth channel makes lots of other muscles work at the same time to stabilise yourself.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
Grammar question:
Is it Thursdays meeting, or Thursday's meeting?
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
The latter
I think
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
apostrophe
Thursday's meeting
or, when in doubt, cheat: "the meeting on Thursday"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
hmmm, ok...... i definitely do agree that overall free weights are better, so would be keen to test this
i have 1kg, 3kg, 5kgs at home and then an 8kg medicine ball (which kills me for sit-ups). guess i could start with the middle ones. the ex put together a really detailed programme for me, maybe i will blow the dust off that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
Just do them slowly.
The slower the better.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
thank you
i will try this over the weekend
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
Are you two feeling OK?
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
My back is a bit sore.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:49,
Reply)
Only problem I have with my free weights is there's only 41kg total including bar weights
And I've been benching that for about a year. I know higher reps are good for developing leaner muscles and all that but eventually I'll have to shell out for more
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Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
the ex benches 110kg
how mental is that, he's only 5'7.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
Fucking lazy cunt Kauto Star for me
coupled with Mrs Cow scraping her car....again
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
Serves her right for cheating and not riding a horse like everyone else in the race.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
hahaha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
It was winning until the cunting thing had a shit jump with four fences to go.
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Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
Kroney put it off, didn't he?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
the cunting thing had a shit jump with four fences to go Sportscow's missus reversed into it
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
double lols
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
It wont be the first time she's backed onto a stallion
*sobs, it will
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
When Lusty sleeps with Gonz it will...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
...be as disappointing as a night on the piss with Scarpe.
We know. FFS.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Well, you said it.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
Very good.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
This could go on until one of us has to give up and go home, so I am going to leave it as it stands now.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
Is this where we shake hands in a manly way?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
shake hands touch our penises together
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
Sorry, I was busy telling Apeloverage he's an arrogant twat.
But sure, hands, penises, whatever really, I don't mind.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:47,
Reply)
Link?
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Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:49,
Reply)
I know it won't, but I didn't think you knew about that.
I'm sorry you had to find out, and hope you can forgive me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
too slow, old man.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Don't think I've ever had a disastrous one. Had a couple of fucking weird ones, though, if anyone's up for a story...
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LongJohnBaldry, Fri 16 Mar 2012, 17:09,
Reply)
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