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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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it was much fun and i was drinking and eating from 3pm until 4am, i still feel rough today though. Do you like weddings or hate them, i have another 9 I've been invited to this year.
alt: Do you give to charity or are you too cynical about where the money actually ends up?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:53, 163 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
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Alt: I currently have direct debits with three charities because I fall for their fucking sob stories when they phone me up. I need to cancel them all.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
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if you only know one or two, i'd usually rather watch the national lottery programme. without a ticket.
alt: yes, i have a couple of direct deductions from my salary, i always leave any change under £1 in the charity tin at the till in shops, and i frequently buy food for homeless people. although the last guy asked me for a large vat of natural yoghurt instead of a sandwich, which i thought a bit odd.
i also got OFFERED soup when i walked past a homeless shelter last year. all i could think of was "this cardigan is ralph lauren, sweetie". i gave that to charity too.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
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perhaps you know them?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
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i still saw her on saturday too though, we had a nice walk and a chat so its not definitely over yet
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
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you know, like when Ross slept with the photocopier girl, and then when Rachel found out Joey repopulated the world with condoms
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
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blokes go "oh she's a bit rough, but at elast she's not as rough as that"
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)
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but we've all seen your picture, and frankly not even jo brand would go there, so i call QOTW LIES on this one.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
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i had a vegetable lasagne on sunday, which was the first pasta i've had since christmas. you can call me fat for eating that if it helps?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)
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Lasagne is acceptable as long as it contains mince. You can put spinach and ricotta layers in betweeen the meat layer if you like. But that's it.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)
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lasagne should be stuffed full of vegetables to give it lots of interesting texture. mince can go fuck its stringy self.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
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and cooked the kale and mushroom the lasagne the other night. And it was lovely.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)
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you can be so much more creative. the best one i've ever had was roasted garlic mushrooms, red onions and red peppers with goats cheese (or feta, i forget which), but you could put anything in there.
not just chewed up bits of dead cow.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)
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A shit vegiterian lasagnia beats an shit meat lasagnia
BUT, but, a really good meat lasagnia beats a really good vegiterian one.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
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as it means you and al will chow down on the meat one and leave the lovely vegetable carbs for me.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)
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www.firebox.com/product/2808/Edge-Lasagne-Pan
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)
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but i thought it might help your monday anyway
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)
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Alt: I donate directly on occasion. Prefer to do practical volunteering work as I enjoy it. Would never sign up to donating via a 'street fundraiser' or 'pestering wanker' as I prefer to call them.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
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I mainly give to the Sally Army because I really like listening to the silver band at Christmas.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
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no brass bands for Al, no sir
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
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(this is a prostitution reference)
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
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Is that what you arguing with kayleisha about?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
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two strong characters you see, thats the problem
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
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i sued to give all the time, but now i prefer to donate my time to those in need than cash
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
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The chattering of the guests is akin to a colony of puffins, all perched on the rocks of the cliff of their failing friendships/relationships/marriages clucking and squawking at the latest pair to commit themselves to an endless pairing of attempting to catch fish, raise ungrateful chicks and not look ridiculous with their painted noses.
I observe the colony from afar, like a bemused elk. Present, yet distant in my suit and antlers. Occasionally pulling one of the fatter, more desperate puffins before boning her with my furry elk-cock.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)
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I swear I thought my arse was going to make a noise like a shower gell bottle when you squirt out the gel and then squeeze the sides to get the air back into it and it goes like "PHWU-DU-Du-DU-du-DU-DU-du-Du-dU-PWUP"
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
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If this contained 50,000 more words I'd consider sueing for breach of copyright.
How are you anyway Al?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)
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Just got sidetracked by some work. I'm very well thanks Mr Lake, yourself?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
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Sorry NA I didn't read your post because I assumed it was dull.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
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I want big swing top bottles, filled with beer, because I don't want to spend £24 on empty swing top bottles.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
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Probably about the same price but with the bonus of beer and the downside they'll need cleaning.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)
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and that wedding was about the most fun I've ever had at one. It was massive, went on for about 12 hours from start to finish, people wandering in and out all through the ceromony, people stealing his shoes (it's a tradition, apparently, who knew?), food all day.
Even sober, I don't mind wedding receptions of people from the same circle of friends, where I know loads of people. Family ones suck though. Not as badly as when I had to go to my bosses wedding once thought, that was hell.
I hate actual weddings though, they bore the pants off me. Especially never ending Catholic ones.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)
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Receptions are usually great fun, my cousin is getting married, before having the reception at a castle next month, should be good!
Alt: Yes, by direct debit.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)
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Tons of food and booze and utter chaos.
Weddings of close friends are good fun because you all your mates will be there. Most other weddings are dull. I particularly hate it when my wife gets invited to the evening do of a work colleague, invariably at some country hotel, meaning that not only will I not know anyone but also I will have to remain sober enough to drive. Rubbish.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
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my friends are beginning to marry off. There's three weddings coming up this year which I find worrying.
Alt: If I have extra money I give it, but I'm more likely to give to the homeless
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)
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some of them are younger than me, and one couple are still in university
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
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it's usually about 28 when everyone starts getting married, i think. my room-mate at work is 28 and literally has about 20 weddings this year.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)
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I thought you said no more waifs and strays, that the spare room is going back to being a clothes room.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
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i share my office at work with my colleague - not the flat!
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)
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Any later and you went wrong somewhere.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
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i would agree if you get to 35 and you've never had a serious relationship, there's something wrong, whether it's how you feel or something else, like chronic halitosis.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)
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You get the idea though.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
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to get married in and assume whoever doesn't is a failure, or weird, or whatever. I'm only ever going to get married when I am without doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. Who knows when, or even if, I'll ever meet anyone like that?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)
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I'm sure you'll find someone before you turn 35.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)
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I'm going to have to book passage on the first available Japanese whaler in order to find a suitable mate.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)
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and then; as if his pants had been a mortar, he fired his cock's hot spunk up it.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)
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First kid at 30, first grandkid at 60.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)
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The reception's in Romania. I may have mentioned this before, but I'm quie excited about it all. Never been before.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)
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But does your brother expect a load of people to fly out? I always thought there'd be about twenty people there at weddings abroad.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)
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several friends of his and I think both set of our uncles and families are going too. You can get on return flights for about 150 quid if you don't mind going on the romantically named Tarom-Romanian Air Transport airline and the hotels are pretty cheap.
So it's not all that bad, really.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
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I'd prefer a massive wedding with loads and loads of people there, which could never happen if I got married abroad. Different strokes init.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
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so it's convenient for the poorer side of the family.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)
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I was surprised when I got there to discover it was a full on traditional Indian wedding with around 5-600 guests. I couldn't see anyone I knew, but found a seat at one of the tables and grabbed a couple of pints from one of the trays being circulated.
As I sat scanning the room for a familiar face, around came the usual guy with massive video camera with his son carrying the spotlight/cables/etc. ensuring that he captured the face of every single attendee for posterity. I smiled and raised my pint.
Then after about 15-20 minutes there came an announcement: "Would you all please be upstanding for our bride and groom - Sanjay and Parminder!"
Who?
It turned out that there were two weddings on at that venue that day and I was at the wrong one. I finished my drinks, made my excuses and left.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
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I was a bridesmaid last year and ended up forking out about £500 for the hen night, travel, hotel and a dress.
I'm going to be a bridesmaid again next year for my cousin, on my birthday. How inconsiderate of her.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)
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When she was a witness/bridesmaid for me, I said "oh, just pick a nice black dress". She's gone full Bridzilla though and is insisting on choosing the dresses, and although she says I can have input she's not yet liked a single suggestion of mine. I don't really care too much unless she makes me wear frills or pink. Or both. She also cut off her dreadlocks so she could have "proper" hair for her wedding. Odd.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)
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I can understand wanting to have a nice day, but I'd want more of a marriage than a wedding.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)
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I wanted to sneak off to a Register Office but Catface demanded the party (and I'm glad he did) but neither of us gave a damn what happened as long as we got married.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)
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Then the list of people who we felt should be there gradually grew from "Obviously my mum will have to be there" to "Don't you want a best man?" to "Well I'm not inviting X without inviting Y"
And then we gave up and just invited all our friends.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)
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why go beserk about just one day? Yeah, of course you'd want it to be nice, but getting married isn't about having a floofy white dress and expensive cake and pretty pictures, it's about a commitment to having a life together.
/gay post is gay.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)
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Just everyone you love and a load of booze. The rest takes care of itself.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)
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Although for my own wedding I was incredibly ill with norovirus so couldn't eat or drink anything and had to look after an equally sick baby. However, there was copious amounts of free booze, an entire huge wheel of brie de meaux, SingStar and MarioKart and a fucking awesome swingabilly band. And b3tans.
Alt: Médecins Sans Frontières gets my cash.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)
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"Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O
And on that farm he had no potatoes, E I E I O"
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)
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She's definitely my daughter.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)
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However, I have it on good authority that our wedding was fab. People have said it was aces, and one person said it was the best wedding he'd ever been to, including his own.
*smugs*
Alt: mostly cancer and dog charities get our money. We tied it into the wedding actually, and made a donation on everyone's behalf instead of having wedding favours.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:54, Reply)
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A proportion of my tax goes to aiding a bunch of cunts in Bongo Bongo Land whether I like it or not*.
Weddings are shit and you're a flid. Hope this helps.
*'not', if you were wondering.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)
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Why the hell are we giving out so many billions to forign aid when the country has to shut down or sale off half it's assets?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:24, Reply)
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Seems like a cheap shot in a thread about weddings to bring in talk about shotguns and verious other weapons of war.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)
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They were so fucking lush, really really sour, but they turned into bubblegum, I fucking hate it when all the nice sweets turn into bubble gum. I'm a fella who enjoys a good swallowing.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:47, Reply)
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is surely to bomb the shit out of Battered and the surrounding area.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)
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this from some years ago...
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:42, Reply)
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To my thinking, it's a patronising hangover from our Imperial days. We're no longer fucking rolling in it: we have no 'spare money' for these places and I'll bet in many cases half the aid money goes 'missing' before it reaches the needy anyway.
/racist Daily Mailer
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)
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Then with the surplus, if there is any, re-circulate that.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)
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We are not in a position to prop up shady govts around the world - even if we did bankrupt them with loans and weapons deals etc in the 70s.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)
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i see they have songs called "asian hooker", "let me cum in" and "it won't suck itself".
is this loveable or loatheable?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)
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Purely as a glam metal band, they are okay. But given that they think they are doing it ironically, I reckon it makes them shit.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)
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Spinal Tap only thirty-odd years too late. Also, not exactly the most challenging of genres to pick for parody, is it? Even if those Darkness benders hadn't mined that particular seam until it was dry.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)
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do they sound like the darkness? i can't bear that screeching shit.
dooooom. i agreed to go because her other half had to drop out, but i'd never really heard of them. oh fuck.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)
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i want to go to the hockey ball with all the fit hockey playing men instead. humph.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:40, Reply)
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I would go to Steel Panther and hide in the bar.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)
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Slightly beating The Feeling (of nausea) in to second place.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)
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I went to a male 'wedding' celebration about 18 months ago. In retrospect 'I knew Dave and his ex-wife when we were at school together' wasn't the best answer I could have given to 'How do you know the happy couple'.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)
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I knew him before he became a sexual deviant.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)
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before he dashed any hope of receiving our Lord's redemption come the final call, by becoming a filthy God-cursed sodomite.'
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:39, Reply)
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( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:40, Reply)
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I would have boycotted the SHAM WEDDING on the basis that, not only is he clearly a cunt, but he is an authentic 'bent cunt' to boot.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:42, Reply)
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Then say 'not really LOL' and help yourself to sweets.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)
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I'm going to post an equally boring question.
If someone owns a private car park, but it forms part of the access route to another private car park (and is the only access to the second car park) do they have some kind of legal duty to keep it in good repair? If I fucked my car suspension on one of their six inch deep potholes, would I have any justification in beating them about the head with a stick?
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)
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Simply delete your account and then kill yourself.
I hope this h3lps.
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)
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you'd need to check the official copies for both, as a starting point.
there's quite a good template letter online for claiming against councils if you hit a pothole, you could just adapt that and send it to both owners and see if either of them blink!
( , Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)
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