I went to an enormous Anglo-Indian wedding on Saturday
it was much fun and i was drinking and eating from 3pm until 4am, i still feel rough today though. Do you like weddings or hate them, i have another 9 I've been invited to this year.

alt: Do you give to charity or are you too cynical about where the money actually ends up?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:53, 163 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've only ever been to one wedding, my godfather's. I reckon they'd be a laugh.
Alt: I currently have direct debits with three charities because I fall for their fucking sob stories when they phone me up. I need to cancel them all.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)

if you know lots of people there, weddings are great
if you only know one or two, i'd usually rather watch the national lottery programme. without a ticket.

alt: yes, i have a couple of direct deductions from my salary, i always leave any change under £1 in the charity tin at the till in shops, and i frequently buy food for homeless people. although the last guy asked me for a large vat of natural yoghurt instead of a sandwich, which i thought a bit odd.

i also got OFFERED soup when i walked past a homeless shelter last year. all i could think of was "this cardigan is ralph lauren, sweetie". i gave that to charity too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)

i pulled a fat chick with acne on friday night, and a slightly less chunky bird with braces on saturday
perhaps you know them?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

What happened to your orange girlfriend?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)

big row last wednesday
i still saw her on saturday too though, we had a nice walk and a chat so its not definitely over yet
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

yet you snogged two fat birds...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

WE WERE ON A BREAK
you know, like when Ross slept with the photocopier girl, and then when Rachel found out Joey repopulated the world with condoms
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Quentin, I hope you realise that not all big girls gravitate towards each other like asteroids in space.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)

we're all aware taht ugly birds hang around together so taht they don't look as bad around their mates
blokes go "oh she's a bit rough, but at elast she's not as rough as that"
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)

ha, you seem to be trying to pick a fight today
but we've all seen your picture, and frankly not even jo brand would go there, so i call QOTW LIES on this one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

i'm just having anice monday, don't ruin it :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)

alright alright
i had a vegetable lasagne on sunday, which was the first pasta i've had since christmas. you can call me fat for eating that if it helps?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

That sounds like rubish lasagne.
Lasagne is acceptable as long as it contains mince. You can put spinach and ricotta layers in betweeen the meat layer if you like. But that's it.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

oh no no, i have to disagree here
lasagne should be stuffed full of vegetables to give it lots of interesting texture. mince can go fuck its stringy self.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Aye, I got the Saint Hugh Fearnley-Whittinsgtall Vegetable Cookbook
and cooked the kale and mushroom the lasagne the other night. And it was lovely.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)

YES!
you can be so much more creative. the best one i've ever had was roasted garlic mushrooms, red onions and red peppers with goats cheese (or feta, i forget which), but you could put anything in there.

not just chewed up bits of dead cow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:43, Reply)

An average vegiterian lasagnia beats an average meat lasagnia
A shit vegiterian lasagnia beats an shit meat lasagnia
BUT, but, a really good meat lasagnia beats a really good vegiterian one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

i am happy to agree to this
as it means you and al will chow down on the meat one and leave the lovely vegetable carbs for me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I'm totally going to make one this week, in my magic pan that is shaped like this [S] so ALL THE SLICES ARE CORNER ONES.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:23, Reply)

omg
the corner slices are the best bit by such a long way
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)

** SIgh ** If only there was a pretty girl I could sit in the park with eating the most amazing lasagnia that ever did exist.
www.firebox.com/product/2808/Edge-Lasagne-Pan
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:45, Reply)

HINT HINT.... free this weekend.... HINT HINT.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)

what kind of lasagne does that pan make????

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:56, Reply)

but your BMI is in the healthy zone!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

bang in the middle of it ACTUALLY
but i thought it might help your monday anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

you're always giving swipe, i hope some day the universe repays you in kind

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

an italian buddhist!
well i never.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

I like weddings. I enjoyed my own so much I may divorce my wife and re-marry her.
Alt: I donate directly on occasion. Prefer to do practical volunteering work as I enjoy it. Would never sign up to donating via a 'street fundraiser' or 'pestering wanker' as I prefer to call them.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)

I give money to the Red Cross and the Salvation Army.
I mainly give to the Sally Army because I really like listening to the silver band at Christmas.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Oooh look at you with your "silver band"
no brass bands for Al, no sir
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)

i heard he was more interested in Bands of Gold
(this is a prostitution reference)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)

I don't get it. I don't know anything about prostitutes.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

it was a telly show

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)

course it was sweetheart
Is that what you arguing with kayleisha about?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

nope she's all stressed about her new place and i'm not one to be taken for being spoken to like a mug
two strong characters you see, thats the problem
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

I look down on brass bands for not being good enough to earn the money required to have their instruments silver dipped.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)

i do like weddings, they're a good excuse for groups of family and friends to get together in there best clobber for a party
i sued to give all the time, but now i prefer to donate my time to those in need than cash
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I have been to weddings.
The chattering of the guests is akin to a colony of puffins, all perched on the rocks of the cliff of their failing friendships/relationships/marriages clucking and squawking at the latest pair to commit themselves to an endless pairing of attempting to catch fish, raise ungrateful chicks and not look ridiculous with their painted noses.

I observe the colony from afar, like a bemused elk. Present, yet distant in my suit and antlers. Occasionally pulling one of the fatter, more desperate puffins before boning her with my furry elk-cock.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)

are you drunk?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

hahahahahaha!
Brilliant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

This morning I did such a massive shit
I swear I thought my arse was going to make a noise like a shower gell bottle when you squirt out the gel and then squeeze the sides to get the air back into it and it goes like "PHWU-DU-Du-DU-du-DU-DU-du-Du-dU-PWUP"
( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Do you ever find that when you're squeezing one out, there is an unknown air blockage and 'cus your pushing so hard and the sudden release it makes you jump?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

A post about taking a shit, Including similies?...

If this contained 50,000 more words I'd consider sueing for breach of copyright.

How are you anyway Al?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Sorry, wasn't ignoring you
Just got sidetracked by some work. I'm very well thanks Mr Lake, yourself?
( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Can anyonwe think of a beer with swingtop lids except for Grolsch?
Sorry NA I didn't read your post because I assumed it was dull.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)

no
i hope this helps
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Don't Duvall do some bottles like that?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Maybe, I'll check it out.
I want big swing top bottles, filled with beer, because I don't want to spend £24 on empty swing top bottles.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Is this for your own bottling? 'cus you can probably buy the bottles for cheaper.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)

It is, and they're not that cheap to be honest.
Probably about the same price but with the bonus of beer and the downside they'll need cleaning.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Wow, you're right, economies of scale I guess.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

One of my closest friends married an Indian girl
and that wedding was about the most fun I've ever had at one. It was massive, went on for about 12 hours from start to finish, people wandering in and out all through the ceromony, people stealing his shoes (it's a tradition, apparently, who knew?), food all day.

Even sober, I don't mind wedding receptions of people from the same circle of friends, where I know loads of people. Family ones suck though. Not as badly as when I had to go to my bosses wedding once thought, that was hell.

I hate actual weddings though, they bore the pants off me. Especially never ending Catholic ones.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)

+ and it was dead easy to get a cab home.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Hahahahaha

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:15, Reply)

Alright Jeff, recovered?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Yeah, I went running on Sunday.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Impressive. I went for a walk if that counts

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

Weddings themselves are dull.
Receptions are usually great fun, my cousin is getting married, before having the reception at a castle next month, should be good!

Alt: Yes, by direct debit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

Indian weddings are great
Tons of food and booze and utter chaos.
Weddings of close friends are good fun because you all your mates will be there. Most other weddings are dull. I particularly hate it when my wife gets invited to the evening do of a work colleague, invariably at some country hotel, meaning that not only will I not know anyone but also I will have to remain sober enough to drive. Rubbish.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Weddings are okay
my friends are beginning to marry off. There's three weddings coming up this year which I find worrying.

Alt: If I have extra money I give it, but I'm more likely to give to the homeless
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Monty is a lucky man in so many ways

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:18, Reply)

give it a few years
they'll all be getting divorced.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:19, Reply)

It just all seems so fast
some of them are younger than me, and one couple are still in university
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

they do sound v young
it's usually about 28 when everyone starts getting married, i think. my room-mate at work is 28 and literally has about 20 weddings this year.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Oh Swipey, I thought you said there are no more room mates !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:22, Reply)

at work!
not at home!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)

wha'whu'?
I thought you said no more waifs and strays, that the spare room is going back to being a clothes room.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)

this is correct
i share my office at work with my colleague - not the flat!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:55, Reply)

Ahh, cool. colleague aren't room mates though !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I always think 28-35 is the appropriate time to get married.
Any later and you went wrong somewhere.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)

marriage isn't for everyone though
i would agree if you get to 35 and you've never had a serious relationship, there's something wrong, whether it's how you feel or something else, like chronic halitosis.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Yeah I suppose I mean more 'no serious relationship' at 35 as opposed to marriage per se.
You get the idea though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)

No serious relationship at 35?
They'd fit right in at a bash.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:33, Reply)

That's silly, you can't assign an arbitrary age range
to get married in and assume whoever doesn't is a failure, or weird, or whatever. I'm only ever going to get married when I am without doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. Who knows when, or even if, I'll ever meet anyone like that?
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:31, Reply)

Aw don't worry Krones
I'm sure you'll find someone before you turn 35.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:35, Reply)

Barry's got me scared now
I'm going to have to book passage on the first available Japanese whaler in order to find a suitable mate.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)

And he poured upon the housewhale's hump all the sum of bitterness and social inadequacy felt by his race from Tim Berners-Lee down
and then; as if his pants had been a mortar, he fired his cock's hot spunk up it.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)

I think life works best in 30 years.
First kid at 30, first grandkid at 60.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)

death at 90
I see your pattern
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:55, Reply)

120
Great-grandchildren at 90
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:56, Reply)

My brother's getting married this year.
The reception's in Romania. I may have mentioned this before, but I'm quie excited about it all. Never been before.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:20, Reply)

I don't doubt that will be amazing.
But does your brother expect a load of people to fly out? I always thought there'd be about twenty people there at weddings abroad.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Well, obviously his direct family are
several friends of his and I think both set of our uncles and families are going too. You can get on return flights for about 150 quid if you don't mind going on the romantically named Tarom-Romanian Air Transport airline and the hotels are pretty cheap.

So it's not all that bad, really.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)

Oh yeah course all family and close friends will go etc, depends what you're after really.
I'd prefer a massive wedding with loads and loads of people there, which could never happen if I got married abroad. Different strokes init.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)

The only fair way to really do it is to host the thing
so it's convenient for the poorer side of the family.
( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)

I once went to an Anglo-Indian wedding and was expecting a small party
I was surprised when I got there to discover it was a full on traditional Indian wedding with around 5-600 guests. I couldn't see anyone I knew, but found a seat at one of the tables and grabbed a couple of pints from one of the trays being circulated.
As I sat scanning the room for a familiar face, around came the usual guy with massive video camera with his son carrying the spotlight/cables/etc. ensuring that he captured the face of every single attendee for posterity. I smiled and raised my pint.
Then after about 15-20 minutes there came an announcement: "Would you all please be upstanding for our bride and groom - Sanjay and Parminder!"
Who?
It turned out that there were two weddings on at that venue that day and I was at the wrong one. I finished my drinks, made my excuses and left.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Going to weddings is expensive.
I was a bridesmaid last year and ended up forking out about £500 for the hen night, travel, hotel and a dress.
I'm going to be a bridesmaid again next year for my cousin, on my birthday. How inconsiderate of her.
( wanderlust, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for my sister in November.
When she was a witness/bridesmaid for me, I said "oh, just pick a nice black dress". She's gone full Bridzilla though and is insisting on choosing the dresses, and although she says I can have input she's not yet liked a single suggestion of mine. I don't really care too much unless she makes me wear frills or pink. Or both. She also cut off her dreadlocks so she could have "proper" hair for her wedding. Odd.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:47, Reply)

Is she all bald at the moment then?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:51, Reply)

There's a few inches of unmatted hair.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:03, Reply)

My cousin is going sightly nuts about being a bride.
I can understand wanting to have a nice day, but I'd want more of a marriage than a wedding.
( wanderlust, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:59, Reply)

Exactly!
I wanted to sneak off to a Register Office but Catface demanded the party (and I'm glad he did) but neither of us gave a damn what happened as long as we got married.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)

We originally planned to do that
Then the list of people who we felt should be there gradually grew from "Obviously my mum will have to be there" to "Don't you want a best man?" to "Well I'm not inviting X without inviting Y"
And then we gave up and just invited all our friends.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:10, Reply)

This is exactly it
why go beserk about just one day? Yeah, of course you'd want it to be nice, but getting married isn't about having a floofy white dress and expensive cake and pretty pictures, it's about a commitment to having a life together.

/gay post is gay.
(berk, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:04, Reply)

You don't need all the expensive extras
Just everyone you love and a load of booze. The rest takes care of itself.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I agree with this.

( wanderlust, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I like weddings if they're relaxed and laid back.
Although for my own wedding I was incredibly ill with norovirus so couldn't eat or drink anything and had to look after an equally sick baby. However, there was copious amounts of free booze, an entire huge wheel of brie de meaux, SingStar and MarioKart and a fucking awesome swingabilly band. And b3tans.

Alt: Médecins Sans Frontières gets my cash.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:38, Reply)

Your wedding was excellent.

( wanderlust, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Woop woop!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:41, Reply)

Oh, and Catfaceceilidhbaby has learned a new word -
Potatoes!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:42, Reply)

Racial memory is a powerful thing

( Kroney, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I'm trying to integrate it into a song for her:
"Old McDonald had a farm, E I E I O
And on that farm he had no potatoes, E I E I O"
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:48, Reply)

And then you must make her pull a sad face and walk around with her hat out to slicit donations from the people watching.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Her face is set to grumpy by default.
She's definitely my daughter.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:01, Reply)

This is excellent.

( wanderlust, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:53, Reply)

9 weddings Eh?
Are you some kind of ersatz chimney sweep?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Weddings can be quite dull, espercially if you only know one or two of the people involved.
However, I have it on good authority that our wedding was fab. People have said it was aces, and one person said it was the best wedding he'd ever been to, including his own.

*smugs*

Alt: mostly cancer and dog charities get our money. We tied it into the wedding actually, and made a donation on everyone's behalf instead of having wedding favours.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 12:54, Reply)

wedding favours. friends.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:02, Reply)

well, that too.
obviously.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Alt: I give to charity every month.
A proportion of my tax goes to aiding a bunch of cunts in Bongo Bongo Land whether I like it or not*.

Weddings are shit and you're a flid. Hope this helps.

*'not', if you were wondering.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:19, Reply)

I'm with you on that.
Why the hell are we giving out so many billions to forign aid when the country has to shut down or sale off half it's assets?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I had to cancel my Direct Debit to the guide dogs, so I don't see why the country doens't do the same.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:22, Reply)

I'd like to see the government giving more money to the Palestinians.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:24, Reply)

They'd only spend it on sweets.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Why?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

He thinks they should have more sweets.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Correct and to annoy Gonz's lot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I'd hate to think it's because of my jewish heritage that he believes such a statement would go against what he believes are my wishes.
Seems like a cheap shot in a thread about weddings to bring in talk about shotguns and verious other weapons of war.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)

I for one stand shoulder to shoulder with anyone who wants more sweets.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)

We're all in this (sweet shop) together

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:39, Reply)

I bought these sweets called Toxic Something the other day.
They were so fucking lush, really really sour, but they turned into bubblegum, I fucking hate it when all the nice sweets turn into bubble gum. I'm a fella who enjoys a good swallowing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:47, Reply)

The only reasonable and measured response to this
is surely to bomb the shit out of Battered and the surrounding area.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)

(having first deleted his account, obv)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:40, Reply)

may I refer the honourable gentleman to
this from some years ago...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Haha
This "b3th" character is funny. She should post more stuff.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)

It makes no sense to me at all.
To my thinking, it's a patronising hangover from our Imperial days. We're no longer fucking rolling in it: we have no 'spare money' for these places and I'll bet in many cases half the aid money goes 'missing' before it reaches the needy anyway.

/racist Daily Mailer
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I think we should sort ourselves out first, make sure everyone in the country can have heating, food, shelter and healthcare.
Then with the surplus, if there is any, re-circulate that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I couldn't agree more.
We are not in a position to prop up shady govts around the world - even if we did bankrupt them with loans and weapons deals etc in the 70s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)

You just want more sweets for yourself

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:39, Reply)

if I am a dutiful muslim, sweets will be provided upon my ascent to heaven, insh'alla.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

I find it disgusting when (the royal-) we give aid, the people of that country are dying of starvation and famine, yet their leader's wives are spending every day shopping in kensington high street.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)

bankrupt?
ITYM bankroll.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 14:01, Reply)

my friend wants me to go and see "steel panther" at the weekend
i see they have songs called "asian hooker", "let me cum in" and "it won't suck itself".

is this loveable or loatheable?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:28, Reply)

They are a "hilarious" "parody" of glam metal bands.
Purely as a glam metal band, they are okay. But given that they think they are doing it ironically, I reckon it makes them shit.
( Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)

They should call themselves 'Spinal Crap'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)

The Shocker is still a good song

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

They're fucking terrible.
Spinal Tap only thirty-odd years too late. Also, not exactly the most challenging of genres to pick for parody, is it? Even if those Darkness benders hadn't mined that particular seam until it was dry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:31, Reply)

OH CHRIST
do they sound like the darkness? i can't bear that screeching shit.

dooooom. i agreed to go because her other half had to drop out, but i'd never really heard of them. oh fuck.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Is there beer?
If so, go
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

You won't like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)

doooooom
i want to go to the hockey ball with all the fit hockey playing men instead. humph.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Given those two choices
I would go to Steel Panther and hide in the bar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

The Darkness: Winners of Global 'Musical' Cunts of the Year 2003 - 2011.
Slightly beating The Feeling (of nausea) in to second place.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I went to a male 'wedding' celebration about 18 months ago. In retrospect 'I knew Dave and his ex-wife when we were at school together' wasn't the best answer I could have given to 'How do you know the happy couple'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:32, Reply)

I would have gone with
I knew him before he became a sexual deviant.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:36, Reply)

'I knew him
before he dashed any hope of receiving our Lord's redemption come the final call, by becoming a filthy God-cursed sodomite.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:39, Reply)

"I knew him before his wife found out that he'd been making visits to Chariots gay sauna & baths near Limehouse instead of working late so he couldn't get home in time to read the kids a bedtime story like he claimed" would have been pretty spot on.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:40, Reply)

What a lovely fellow.
I would have boycotted the SHAM WEDDING on the basis that, not only is he clearly a cunt, but he is an authentic 'bent cunt' to boot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:42, Reply)

Or simply:
I'M HERE TO TRY TO STOP THIS ABOMINATION!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:43, Reply)

Wear a rucksack and run down the aisle bellowing 'ALLAH U AKHBAR'
Then say 'not really LOL' and help yourself to sweets.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Proper officelol here

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:48, Reply)

I knew him when his cock wasn't brown

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:41, Reply)

Fucking brown-hatters.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:43, Reply)

To apologise for my boring post earlier
I'm going to post an equally boring question.

If someone owns a private car park, but it forms part of the access route to another private car park (and is the only access to the second car park) do they have some kind of legal duty to keep it in good repair? If I fucked my car suspension on one of their six inch deep potholes, would I have any justification in beating them about the head with a stick?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:33, Reply)

This is a surprisingly common problem, but easily solved:
Simply delete your account and then kill yourself.
I hope this h3lps.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Will do. Thanks for your help.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:37, Reply)

the second car park might have rights of way over the first
you'd need to check the official copies for both, as a starting point.

there's quite a good template letter online for claiming against councils if you hit a pothole, you could just adapt that and send it to both owners and see if either of them blink!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Cool. Thanks.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 26 Mar 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Sub-thread of the YEAR

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 26 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)