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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Assuming that the atmosphere was rendered
breathable and the journey down to a reasonable time, which planet would you visit on holiday and why?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:21, 146 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
uranus
uranus
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:29, Reply)
you would love it there
I'm sure. It's well populated
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:33, Reply)
I've undergone extensive training on /off topic
I'm ready
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:49, Reply)
You
would like Saturn, too.

Lots and lots of rings. More than Darth could cope with.

In one evening, anyway.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:10, Reply)
DOOM!
My Tesco wine order was dropped by the courier and smashed so I have no wine. Also I have to re-order, and since it was the wine subscription, delivery WAS free but I'll have to pay £5 delivery charge on the re-order. I phoned up to try and get that taken off but they pointed out that as well as refunding my money he'd also added on a £10 goodwill gesture payment and that covered delivery,

Arse, I was hoping to get another £5 out of them.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:30, Reply)
you shouldn't be so greedy
...wine subscription?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:32, Reply)
do they send you a grape each week
for 300 weeks, then bits of wine press, etc. until you can put them all together to make wine?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:36, Reply)
No they send you 12 bottles of wine every so often
*checks* every 3 months. What am I supposed to drink the other 2 months?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:38, Reply)

2 months 11 weeks
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 18:39, Reply)
12 bottles in two weeks seems a tad excessive
6 or 7, maybe.

I re-ordered but by adding another 6 bottles I not only got free delivery, I was also able to use my £10 off token they'd sent earlier.

The extras were half price anyway so I got £60 of wine for £15. Woo!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:15, Reply)
I was sent six bottles of wine today from a wonderful B3tan who shall remain nameless.
I think they forgot I'm on the wagon for seven weeks. Lol!!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:20, Reply)
send them to me

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:39, Reply)
Ishouldcoco!
It's not like they'll go off.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:41, Reply)
Mars.
I like chocolate.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:22, Reply)
I'm in the pub.
Just thought you'd like to know.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:25, Reply)
Thanks for keeping me in the loop.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:26, Reply)
the sun, I need to top up man tan
I have hal a bottle o wine should I drink it or make risotto with it?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:32, Reply)
got bored, drinking it

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:35, Reply)
This thread needs the old gang here
I'll make a list of shit b3tans who should come back to make my posts look all clever and amusing by comparison
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:40, Reply)
that'll work

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:41, Reply)
damn fuckin straight it will

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:44, Reply)
chop fucking chop

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:45, Reply)
i was going to go way way back to the land of the first page, but I lost interest and really need to get some work done

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:47, Reply)
I remember the first page like it was only yesterday.
Those were the good times.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:48, Reply)
(!)
HAHAHAHA I@VE GOT A KNIFE AND I DRANK A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY LAST NIGHT BUT IT'S OK CAUSE I DROVE TO WORK AND IVE HAD ELENTY COFFEES AND NOW IM OFF TO BEAT UP A DRUGS DEALER WITH A BASEBALL BAT BUT IF YOU'RE ALL REALLY LUCKY I'LL DO ANOTHER ONE OF MY COMICS STARRING MYSELF TO SHOW YOU ALL TOMORROW
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:50, Reply)
BRING BACK HAIRPOT !!!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:51, Reply)
Yeah! that kind of stuff.
It were brill.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:52, Reply)
RIP kaol, Wales killed him

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:52, Reply)
He was scarily mental according to the Scarpemeister

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:53, Reply)
he was well 'ard, he wore a leather coat and fingerless leather gloves

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:56, Reply)
Better
than fingerless oven gloves, I suppose.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:01, Reply)
He was the fat terminator of offtopicland

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:10, Reply)
I won't be any fun for a while now I'm sober.
Soz!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:43, Reply)
only losers need drink to be interesting

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:45, Reply)
also you should really be drinking with lolmental medications

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:45, Reply)
I was ok. I've only stopped drinking because of the calories.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:47, Reply)
I don't really fathom people with depressive issues who drink alcolols, known for it's depressive qualities

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:48, Reply)
they should take ecstasy it makes you well happy

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:49, Reply)
For a while.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:51, Reply)
never stop

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:52, Reply)
And
horrendous comedowns.

Ask Boyce, Monty, he'll tell ya.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:53, Reply)
The trick is to get slowly drunk or stoned as you're coming down.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:55, Reply)
Never
worked for me.

Serotonin ain't boosted by either dope or booze.

Does mask things I suppose. For a while.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:58, Reply)
It did help me fall asleep faster thus missing the comedown.
Speed was a far worse comedown than E.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:00, Reply)
Hmm
not for me, but speed was terrible, right enough.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:02, Reply)
Catch 22 innit.
You drink because you're depressed and you get depressed because you drink.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:50, Reply)
Surely not being depressed is preferable to sitting at home smashed and the resultant dark depths of despair
you should have a cup of tea instead
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:52, Reply)
I've just had one.
I don't feel any happier.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:53, Reply)
put on some westlife as well
or ronans smash hit 'rollercoaster' or whatever it was
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:54, Reply)
I'm waiting for the natural world to start on BBC2.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:59, Reply)
Feck!
It's about London : (
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:03, Reply)
Nowt
natural about London.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:04, Reply)
Well the animals that live there.
Foxes and shit.

Boring!!!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:07, Reply)
Mind you
they've also got lots of black guys with dreadlocks.

They're all called Jeff, apparently.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:10, Reply)
Yeah
but it's also stimulant initially, before becoming depressant. Strange drug, in that respect.

You're right, though.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:52, Reply)
To be honest the benefits far outweighed the negatives but yes, a break from booze won't do me any harm.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:54, Reply)
A
sensible lass.

Next we'll get a caring government.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:56, Reply)
Yup!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:46, Reply)
*drinks*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 19:46, Reply)
I'm alone in a Brick Lane curry house
I've never understood people who won't eat in a restaurant alone. Take a book or surf the internet between courses, what's the problem?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:16, Reply)
You look like a billynomates!
That's why.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:18, Reply)
made lots of new friends in the big smoke then?
What's on the menu?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
Soz, was reading my book
Had sheikh kebabs and chicken jalfrezi. Very nice.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:41, Reply)
I was in an exhibition on Brick lane, once
or just off it, I think. Pretty nice area to hang about in between crises
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:20, Reply)
I fucking wish I was alright with that, so many nice resturants I want to go to but don't because I don't like being in resturants alone.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:22, Reply)
go with someone maybe?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:23, Reply)
lighty, perhaps?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:27, Reply)
see below as to why that might not work

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:45, Reply)
Well, yeah', but sometimes there are resturants I want to go to that my friends dont.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:44, Reply)
text me and see
At worst I'll say something cruel and cutting that leaves you sobbing for days, what's the harm?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:49, Reply)
Begining of next month, as in, after payday...... Chicargo Ribshack, I think its in knightsbridge or kensington or somewhere like that.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:51, Reply)
I'll give it a try
Where you working these days?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:15, Reply)
Eating out is much about the social element as it is about the food.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:27, Reply)
not for L:ighty it's not :(

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:31, Reply)
You're never alone with schizophrenia.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:32, Reply)
what's your sig mean?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:35, Reply)
I'll tell you when I get home.
Posting from phone would take too long. Or, ask jeff.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
it's a Bristol thing, right?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:46, Reply)
The
Bristol scale refers to something else entirely.

Ask Kroney or google at your peril.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:52, Reply)
It's a reference to DGs habit of BBQ in the nuddy.
After a few accidents his gorgeous mrs was forced to get a permanent marker and differentiate between his massive phallus and his butchers choice sausages.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:47, Reply)
dirty butcher

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:48, Reply)
I love ecstasy
It changed my life.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:37, Reply)
made you schitzo?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:39, Reply)
we are NOT schizo

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:34, Reply)
Aye
Yiz are.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:42, Reply)
E's
are good, Ebeneezer?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:40, Reply)
Oh god oh god oh god oh god I didn't have my tablets today 'cus I was in pain last night and early today so was a dose down.
And my stomach was really really hurting and I wanted to go home but I had a meeting that was very important so I stayed on for that and then after then my pain wasn't so bad but I couldn't face cooking tonight.

So I went to the japanese place and couldn't decide, so i went to the mexican place and couln't decide, so I went to the Garaff place and couldn't decided, so I went to Burger King because I couldn't decide and they have a small menu.

But then I went there and I couldn't decided at all, so I just ordered everything that sounded good so I ended up getting "Sharing Box, Super Sized [burger with bbq sauce] and onion rings" and the drink was so big I was like WTF IS THIS? I CANT EVEN CARRY IT ALL, so I left the drink on the counter saying "I DONT WANT THIS GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE" and thinking "WHY DIDNT YOU JUST LET ME BUY THE FUCKING BURGER AND CHIPS INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE DRINK IS ONLY 20P EXTRA ANYWAY. AND WHY IS THE SHARING BOX ONLY A POUND EXTRA THAN THE CHIPS ON THEIR OWN MEANING I GET THAT CUS ITS BETTER VALUE".

And now I'm home and I have all my tablets and I don't want to put ANY of this rank food in my body 'cus its cold and horrible and I'm regreting every single bite I'm taking and I think I'm putting on weight just smelling it and I'm gonna bin this massive waste of money 'cus I don't see why I should punish myself by eating this cold rank congeeleted greasy shit food.

I want chinese dumplings and to hug Gok Wan and for him to tell me it's OK to be a mong sometimes but instead I'll get some hinez tomarto soup with tobasco and buttered thick sliced bread.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:40, Reply)
this is a new mental low

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:43, Reply)
cheers
*pushes plate aside*
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:44, Reply)
Nothing
wrong with some tomato soup and buttered bread.

I had lightly-smoked haddock and a poached egg.

Some left for brekkers.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:50, Reply)
are you a porridge wog?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:51, Reply)
Of course he is.
Are you some kind of bent spastic?

Evening, btw.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:52, Reply)
Hey
B3th,

You OK?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:54, Reply)
No bad, neebs, ta.
Yersel'?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:55, Reply)
Fine
Ta. Playin' gowf, the morn. First time in years. Hid tae clean the bats, an ' that.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:57, Reply)
Yes
pwoud, too.

But like you Nigels, too.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:53, Reply)
why are we nigels?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:01, Reply)
There
is nobody in Scotland called Nigel.

If you can patronise me, then expect the same back. As it happens, I quite like the many English folk with whom I work and play. I give not one single fuck whether you like Scots.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:06, Reply)
Nigel is also Aussie slang for someone with no mates.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:10, Reply)
Hmm
I know nobody called Nigel.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:14, Reply)
I wasn't patronising
I think of it as a term of endearment
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:26, Reply)
OK
I apologise. In my defence, there are no terms of endearment in Scotland. There is a certain inflection to the upward grunt, however. It is never, ever referred to as "Nigel."

Kind regards.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:40, Reply)
I bthought 'ya cunt' was a term of endearment?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:44, Reply)
Only
in Glasgow. It's a vital part of foreplay. They can't spell fud.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:51, Reply)
I know a Scotsman called Nigel. But he now lives in Brighton.
Does that help?
(, Tue 19 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)
The other day I was feeling really shit and I really fancied some tomato soup and bread and butter
so I went to the supermarket and got some but forgot to get any fabric softener but it was alright because in Tesco on sunday it was 3 for £12 which is a better dealt than I probably would have got otherwise so it made up for it.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:55, Reply)
Was it really massive bottles or do you just buy posh fabric softener?
I paid £2 a bottle last week for mine.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:57, Reply)
Fuxache
Never realised you could have fabric softener with tomato soup. Does it go all frothy? Is it trendy, all the rage in that there London?

Reckon it would taste like Fairies Liquid, but then I'm a porridge wog.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:02, Reply)
I bet you put salt in your fabric softener and everything

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:06, Reply)
Nah
you don't need salt here, the water ain't hard.

The willies are, though.

*lifts kilt*
*-runs away to avoid hearing raucous laughter*
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:08, Reply)
Gonie no dae that

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:09, Reply)
Pits
on breeks.

Zips up.

At's better. *Helmut's Khol lols*
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:13, Reply)
It would probably taste more like soap or coconut oil.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:07, Reply)
.....

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:07, Reply)
wtf? I have no flatmates. How di...

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:08, Reply)
*calls ghostbusters*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:09, Reply)
ITS OK PEOPLE, I HAVE A CHASHEWNUT AND NEWDOL STIR FRY.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:08, Reply)
Oh thank god. I just had a custard cream.
I shouldn't have because I had a cornetto after tea, we finished off last nights shepherds pie, I had some HP woodsmoke BBQ sauce on mine, the mrs didn't have any sauce. I've got to be up quite early tomorrow to go to Hackney and look at a site.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:10, Reply)
Oh thank god

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:11, Reply)
No this is rank too, binning it and ending up with soup like I should have done anyway.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:12, Reply)
I'll text you next time I'm going up Brick Lane as my curry was very tasty
Well, not the next time because that's Sunday with not-B3tans. But the time after.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:20, Reply)
Sweet !
The soup's good, should have gone with that to begin with. I always get there in the end.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:25, Reply)
Hey
Gonz,

Too late now but for reference,I often have a packet or box or tin of Tomato soup(not cream of) to which I add garlic or chilli olive oil and some fresh herbs and some chilli flakes.

Decent bread and some olives before or after and it's a great meal. Or soak some crusty bread in flavoured oil beforehand and add to soup to thicken. Or boil some tatties and add to soup.

Hungry now.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:34, Reply)
I like hienz cream of tomarto soup. It's good stuff.
they have an entire huge section in my tiny waitrose up the road dedicated to soup, with all kinds of crazy shit like beatroot'n'stuff, I always neglect it, I think I need to stop doing that.

I'm going to go on a liquid diet this week, maybe that'll sort me out.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:45, Reply)
Heinz
is too sweet for me, but it'll do if I'm stuck.

Additions make all the difference, though.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:56, Reply)

Well Ireland are officially as good as Holland.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:54, Reply)
And Andrews is officially as charming as Barton.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 21:55, Reply)
DUCKSTEP!
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=mmzx_vlcgfc#t=58s
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:03, Reply)
There's a proper Donald Duck bass on this tune, just after the drop
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZZKOoP0OJE
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:10, Reply)
I will listen after I get over the fact that I am currently enjoying
the Korn/Skrillex tune. I think I'm having a midlife crisis
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:12, Reply)
Korn and Skrillex?
Double lame.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:25, Reply)
Evening.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:08, Reply)
Shit off Jeff.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:11, Reply)
Alright rodent lover?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:17, Reply)

Cavy is bullying me.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:16, Reply)
nope just helping

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:17, Reply)
As per.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:18, Reply)

Needless to say Rory had the last laugh.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:19, Reply)
You probably deserve it Bob.
(What has she done?)
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:18, Reply)

Devalued my existence to approximately 60 English Pence.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:19, Reply)
That's like 2 Euro!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:20, Reply)

Which is what the Republic of Ireland team got as a bonus.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:21, Reply)
my work here is done
night all
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:20, Reply)

Night mate
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:20, Reply)
I'm STARViNG

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:31, Reply)
hey swipe

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 23:32, Reply)

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