Nice sunny morning. Good day to you all.
I had a fucking superb weekend, did you? Not even revelations regarding dirty thieving little scrotes spoilt it. Plus now everyone will shut up about football for a bit. Leaving the way clear to crap on about tennis and the fucking Olympics. Since they did away with the pankration, the whole thing is bent.

Alt: We have a lovely Canadian chap who I know from my trip to Iceland coming to stay for a week, from Weds. What would you say is unmissable for the overseas visitor? He's doing a masters in Viking Studies in Rekyavik so that's his bag: British Museum and Stonehenge are essential, I reckon.

Alt alt: shut up, no one cares.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:26, 261 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

My weekend was alright thanks.
Baked. Went to work. Did not very much. Oh! and got a new baking book that I am itching to try out. tonight I am home alone and don't quite know what to do with myself.

I don't really care about football. Or the Olympics.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:30, Reply)

Bake something.
If it turns out shit there are no witnesses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:36, Reply)

I'm kind of thinking about making a self saucing orange chocolate pudding,
but I've eaten a lot of pastry and stuff lately. I don't want to turn into an internet fatty.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:40, Reply)

Surely your dance regime will prevent this anyway?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)

You'd think - but that requires money and I've had none of that for quite a while now.
I'm swimming instead cos it's cheaper.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)

What's Barry nicked now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

How did you guess?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

it's his forum thing aint it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)

You think you're joking don't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

Cor, how much of your flat did he manage to teef?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Wait, you're not joking?
If not, then that's fucking horrible, sorry dude.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:43, Reply)

He stole from Stunned, Monty has nothing left to steal.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:45, Reply)

Good point.
But still...fucking hell...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

*cries*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I hope the orthorities have been alerted
he won't get far
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)

what did he nick?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Well it won't have been anything from his wardrobe.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:55, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:56, Reply)

It's a click from me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Fucking hell

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Do we know for fact that he's stolen it?
On one of my last days of school; the first school, not the second one, I bought in my warhammers and I had some special limited edition ones that I was the only who owned them... they were like 15 years old at the time and painted a special way and were given to me. But, a load of them went missing.

About a month later we were having the tag team world championship (me and david against tom and anish) in my attick when Michael turned up on the second day, so we let him be some marulders and low and behold he took out my ones that got stollen. I was like "WTF? THEY ARE MINE" and he was like "NO, STEVEN GAVE THEM TO ME". So I phoned up steven and his brother answered the phone, and I told him all about it.

It turns out, steven stole them because Parous double dared him. Parous and Steven gave most of them away for SNES games and it was too late by then. But I got in trouble for telling steven's brother instead of telling steven's mum 'cus steven got beats out of it and it was my fault.

What I'm saying is, it might not be Barry, or Barry might be Parous's puppet. Or it could be a drunken thing that he regrets that he only did for the thrill and wants to give them back.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:10, Reply)

So what you're saying is only stunned can tell us what actually happened

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)

And stunned ain't no grass, right.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Red handed.
In flagrante.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Bullshit

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:30, Reply)

a fresh comedy account low

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:31, Reply)

*shames*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Good morning Al.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Good morning Betty

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)

aw, this would of been good if it was really barry
the reverse-robin hood of Off Topic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:35, Reply)

*grows a tellum*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

In different company he'd have had his teef knocked out

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:30, Reply)

I wonder if/ when the real Barry will post here?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

are you going to beat him up
ONLINE?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

No. I did receive about 6 gazzes from him yesterday telling me how sorry he was.
It's Stunned he should be apologising to, I wasn't even there, I'd pussied out and gone home from the pub.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)

so he stole drugz from stunned?
tsk
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Oh I get it.... I get it now...... I make a joke about throwing your wife off a tall building, and I get my livelyhood threatened with phsyical violence.
And Barry actually steals your BFF's dead great-grandma's wedding ring that she smuggled in from the russians via the use of her colon in the 1800s... and he gets off scott-free.

It must be because of my creed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Shut up Gonz.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I swear man, there is someone from an old site of ex b3tans that used to use that as a catchphrase.
I know he ain't you, 'cus I've meet you both. But its pretty much a mirror'd image.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I understand Jeff was also there at the time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Things in life aren't always what they seem, there's more than one given angle to any one given seen, so bare that in mind next time you try to intervine, that for any given angle for any one given seen.
My name is Baz, I've been beaten since I was three, mum died when I was born and dad takes it out on me.
He ain't a bad man, he just gets drunk and then feels alone. I tend to go for a walk and hope he's asleep when I get home.
Don't like to talk about it though, as I said, it's not his fault. It only happens when he's drunk as a last resort.
Wanted to get him a gift, ot show my support. But I had no money and I stole and I guess I got caught.
At times like that, I tend to switch off my mind, I stare bankly into space and lets what happens unwind.
I seemed to anger Stunned, he put his hands around my neck, said its time for me to learn some manors and respect.
It hurt, but I've had worst before, made me realise life was just a series of wars.
I came straight home that day and locked the bathroom door, took a blade to both wrists, they won't hurt me no more.

Things in life aren't always what they seem,
there's more than one given angle to any one given seen,
so bare that in mind next time you try to intervine,
that for any given angle for any one given seen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:31, Reply)

wtf did you get all these politically correct names from??

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:29, Reply)

I'm going to talk about football, Andy Murray and The Olympics.
And by the time I'm done, the football season will have started again.

Ah, the circle of life.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

I had a splendid weekend, only slightly marred by hearing about little cunts abusing people's hospitality by stealing from them.
Alt: Transformations.

Alt Alt: fuck off Worzel.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

COME ON, TIM!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)

I'm still suffering
From the weekend. I'm tired and dehydrated.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Poofter.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Canosexual, surely?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:44, Reply)

I ended up lashing the wines yesterday
but my morning's exercise has cleared the fog somewhat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:45, Reply)

exercise screaming wank whilst reciting the lord's prayer
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:48, Reply)

My weekend was shit. Hope this helps.
Alt: Buckingham Palace. Forrins love that shit.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Sorry to hear that. It doesn't help at all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:46, Reply)

It helps that you're sorry to hear that.

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Mine wasn't too bad thanks
Didn't do a huge amount on Friday night or Saturday, spent the day with friends on Sunday, just having a few pints and a laugh. Very relaxing, what I needed.

Alt: British Museum.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:46, Reply)

meh. quendy.
Fabric. There's that many tourists in there, it must be some sort of tourist mecca anyway.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I went there once.
True story.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:48, Reply)

it's like a leisure centre on the way in.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)

The only thing I can remember of note
is that the lavatory doors are floor to ceiling and metal.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Room 2 is ace.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Alt;
Supermarketlolz
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)

Prawnringlololololz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:51, Reply)

am I getting this right? baz stole from monty?
Would it be safe to assume what he stole was loldrugz?

Nice one baz, rispec'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:51, Reply)

No, you're not getting it right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

he stole the son from your heart?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:54, Reply)

apparently he made off with Mr and Mrs Stunneds 'his 'n hers' sovereign rings

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:56, Reply)

the bastard!
There I was thinking he'd made off with all their Es

Thy had to spnd th rst of thir livs talking in txt spak
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:58, Reply)

We can't really blame Barry, his real dad 'Wolf' put him up to it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Alt alt:

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)

Nice to see *someone's* remembered their manners.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Weekend was damp, to say the least.
Alt: Stonehenge is bent, Avebury is better.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 8:54, Reply)

You can do Avebury, Danebury Ring, West Kennet Long Barrow and Silbury Hill in a day.
A very good day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:04, Reply)

That sounds excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:10, Reply)

It really is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Danebury is a good idea,
But is heavily wooded now and best seen in autumn or winter.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)

It's at least twenty years since I've been.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)

You must be fucking bursting then!!11!eleventy!11!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)

I just clicked this by mistake.
To clarify, I don't 'like this'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Just gaz the mods and ask them not to include your vote when they count them all up at the end of the day.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Good idea!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)

if you gaz the mods about the thievery
they might gaz baz's mum and ask her to get him to give your stuff back
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:31, Reply)

I just texted Wolf about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Fuck you
I'm keeping your click
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)

i'm gonna click it to so you get on the popular page

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I've clicked this post instead.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

i'm gonna click all the posts
that way its fair for everyone
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

My weekend was the usual rollercoaster of highs and lows
Including, but not limited to, two curries, two trips to the pub, being dragged by the missus to possibly the nerdiest thing I have ever seen and other stuff even duller than the above.

Alt: Surely a trip to historic Coventry is essential for all tourists to the UK? No?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:03, Reply)

I didn't go to Coventry.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:05, Reply)

And you are still regretting it now?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:06, Reply)

not at all.
If anything, I'm regretting not making it up to scotland.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Scotland is excellent.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)

the snow meant that the trainline up to edinburgh was closed

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Lucky you. Town planning, Luftwaffe style.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:07, Reply)

There's even a verb named after it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)

I reckon Natwest got hacked this weekend.
If it was a hardware fault, redundancies would have shot in, and it would have been handled. If it was a software glitch, it would have happened by now - there is nothing special about this weekend that would cause a glitch.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Maybe it was some form of conspiracy?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Goverment sponcored cyber terrorisim, you mark my words.
You don't see HSPC getting hacked, if you know what I mean *makes chinese eyes without saying anything*.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Upgrade gone tits apparently

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Yeah', that too would explain it.
Sounds a bit stupid to logically do an upgrade on a weekend when call-out staff is at a minimum along with store closures not being able to handle any problems. Or then again, if they did it at midnight on a weekday, its not like store-staff can do anything about it.

I would have logiclly done it on a statisticly less likely payday day.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:17, Reply)

The upgrade happened on Wednesday
it just took ages to sort out
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

But the downtime seems to be only this weekend.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:08, Reply)

other banks were affected too
i think you might be right
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:27, Reply)

I bet it was Barry trying to nicks all of your monies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:39, Reply)

DAMMIT BARRY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

I went out in the fucking pouring down rain with the kids to jump around in puddles
then out in the car to drive through said puddles at high speeds.

Northumberland castles would be good for a Viking type thing but this could be a "touch" difficult
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)

I got absolutely drenched going to the doctors today.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)

You self-sauced again?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Those gyno exams are hot, eh?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Offensive joke from Chompy:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1376735
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:22, Reply)

gotta love them exams.
best kind.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:23, Reply)

hehe
I don't mind getting soaked at all. As long as I dont have somewhere to go or anything. It is quite liberating

/hippy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Ours are too easy so the government is trying to make them harder again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)

oh and also
does anyone know the scores from last ngiht?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Yes, Proctor and Bleasdale both broke GB records

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)

wkd kl
thx
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Sorry I'm late, i fell downa manhole and had to fight off some sewer alligators and I lost my packet of cheerios so had to go and buy some more.
I told you there was something wrong with that boy.

Alt: Yorvik Viking centre duuuhh

al alt: football
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Have you been drinking again Ape?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:33, Reply)

yeah and I totally nicked a bottle of Soave from Sainsbury's and drank in my Astra

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Isn't the Jorvik Viking Centre a bit shit?
There are certainly much better things to do in York.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I was last there in September, hadn't been since I was a kid so I was really looking forward to it.
The ex spent the entire time complaining that it smelt bad and a week later, dumped me. Now, I'm not saying Jorvik was responsible for the breakdown in my relationship, but it's a coincidence to bear in mind.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)

It does smell
I managed to save my marriage by going to the pub while Mrs Upinblue took little tangle there..
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)

The smell is supposed to be one of the selling points.
I remember going to Yorvik when it first opened. Had to queue for two fucking hours to get in.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

The place has barely changed in 30 years.
I shan't be going back again.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)

I've never been in there
I like wandering round the walls and suchlike. More fun
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)

I went about 18 years ago I suppose
I remeber it being a bit shit then tbh
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Nope, mine was shitty.
I spent it feeling ill and now I'm dizzy.

Alt: How long's he coming over for? Jarrow or Lindisfarne for first encounter lols? Also, Canadians are cunts.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

You're a bit of a hypochondriac aren't you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Little bit, yeah. Runs in the family.
However, I have had a virus this past week and I am feeling dizzy. It's probably not cancer.


Probably...
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Level 42lols.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:38, Reply)

A week.
Realistically he won't get oop nurth.

PS Canadians really aren't cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:35, Reply)

Lucky sod. I have to go to Burton on Trent later today, then Telford on Wednesday and Ripley on Thursday.
Yuk. I have packed my nose peg so I don't smell the poverty and misery.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

better take a nosegay as well
you don't wnat to inhale the "vapours"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Well that means you won't go to Sutton Hoo
which is good because it's A) shit B) Saxon, not Viking and C) all the good stuff's in the British Museum anyway.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

This is like one of those facebook messages that's all vague and shit
and then when someone says 'hey whats up bbz?' they're all like 'inbox me hon, I'm fucken pure ragin n that' and no-one else can get any vicarious angers out because they wont cough up the details.

tl:dr - give us details you spazz
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)

whoever this is has a point

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:37, Reply)

look, here's what happened, for the last time ok?
monty invited barry over for dinner with his girlfriend, at some point during the evening barry goes upstairs for a wee or whatever, and a short while after he comes back down monty's wife goes to her bedroom to get some perfume or something.

she has a quick look in her bottom draw and whaddyakno her diddlio int there, she checks about like a maniac, making sure she didn't just leave it in the dog basket again, but nope its definitely gone.
she tells monty, monty goes apeshit, barry must've knicked it. monts throws his plate of half cooked gruel across the dining room, smashing it to pieces and spattering baz in lukewarm oats in the process.

barry screams, mont rages, a scuffle ensues and barry punches a hole in the fucken wall, monty chucks him out on the street and says he never wants to see the cunt again

barry goes home and licks his new found diddlio prize clean
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

This is like crimewatch but with words

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Yeah like I can afford stairs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)

you can't dispute the facts, its all there in black and white

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I find it _really_ strange when I go to people's houses who have stairs indoors.
What I used to not even think about, is now quite a big thing. I always think to myself that they could get an extra room in if they just used a ladder.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

I have stairs for the first time
it's pretty exciting
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Oak stairs?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:54, Reply)

sadly not, my standards are clearly slipping

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Have you moved?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

he's annexed the polish people downstairs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

He has no need for them now that he no longer has oak floors.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

he's locked them in the bathroom with a canister of zyklon B
problem solved
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)

At Easter time, I have a duplex now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)

I prefer lego

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

you idiot, it's a wrestling move

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:56, Reply)

You know you're proper posh when you have two sets of stairs that go into the same floors.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

or a winch

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)

or a pole
they could feel empowered everytime they went "upstairs" for a shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)

This all sounds very familiar.
Is there a Sports Almanac involved?
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)

that's in the second chapter, where scarpe turns up and nicks monty's hoverboard

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I heard that Battered isn't all that fond of manure.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)

biff
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

bang
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

pow
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

and chips
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

HE TAKES NO SHIT
or something
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I heard AA went back in time and snogged his mother

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Oh man, he's such a slacker.
Stunned tells him that *all* the time.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

*hands out tardy*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Haha, baldmonkey lols.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Pankration not bent?
We're talking naked oiled men slithering around?
I was disappointed about Stonehenge the first time I saw it, "bit small" was my opinion.
Alt, is it too early for a lunch thread?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Were you a long way away?
Or maybe a hippy was plying the bajolee near by thus bending space time and light?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)

To be fair, I was one of the hippies.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)

*raises nosegay*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

ra es nose
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)

What was the super nerdfest you went to?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:54, Reply)

A load of steam trains
It was not only shit, but also dull.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Steam trains are ace.
I love visiting the Railway Museum, at York.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

WE SAW THE PRINCESS ELIZABETH!!!!!!1111!!!!
Train nerds smell funny.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Are you married to Fred Dibnah?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Bit fucking windy was my opinion of the place.
We used to live a mile or so away from Stonehenge. You could walk there through a field with a massive bull in it, and we had a free entry pass to get in and everything.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:46, Reply)

It expensive these days, best to look at it from the window of the car as you drive past

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:47, Reply)

Any excuse to lick windows...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)

When I had my Americans over last year
we did a duckboat tour and one of those hop on hop off bus things. They seemed to enjoy that.

You could always grab a couple of London b3tans, get your cameras, and give him a tour of everyday life in London. Things the tourists don't always notice. Foreigners love that shit.

EDIT: take some pride in your Capital, you frightful oafs! There are some lovely tube stations, parks, monuments, and Harrods food hall.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)

A couple of muggings
a BNP pub and a spot of dogging?
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

barry, Noel and Jeff paint the town red

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)

And on your right you can see tramp having a shit
oh, yes and wow we are lucky, this is very rare, a second tramp is now eating the shit, this is a sure sign that he has come into season and is looking to copulate. One of natures most majestic events I'm sure you'll agree.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)

The hop on/hop off buses are normally quite good
I've been on them in Paris, Rome and Dublin and they are quite informative (and useful for just getting around)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)

The ones in London had good free headphones.
I still use mine.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)

The Paris ones gave me an electric shock
IN MY FUCKING EAR!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Did it feel like a punch from Bobby?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Errrrr
yes?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

That's his signature move, the ear punch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Morning
Like Battered I too chickened out of going back to Stunned's so missed the drama. On the plus side I could actually function on Sunday - Went out for a curry with a Canadian I haven't seen for a decade and watched the footy.

Is it Canadian migratory season or something?

Alt: don't show him Himjim's special secret hotdog place, he'll blab to everyone.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)

could somebody tell us what actually happened?
was he caught in the act and beheaded like the pimp guy?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:10, Reply)

In-joke, probably.
These people are so damned cliquey
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

i hope it isn't, that would be really sad
it was good when BM and TH did it, but if they're just copying i'll be really upset
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

It's not a joke.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:18, Reply)

All I know is a gaz from Battered and what I've read here
Barry still hasn't reported back but I assume he blew the entire op. As long as he keeps his mouth shut we should be fine though Quin, there's nothing to tie us in without his testimony.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)

damnnit barry, i told him to get in there, get the stuff and get out without being caught
there'll be hell to pay for this
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)

ALL OUT WAR!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)

I'm building a gun nest and putting my vietnam war helmet on

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)

That place was excellent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)

The grub was superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)

i've never eaten larvae

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

You haven't lived.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

quinten was a ghost all along?
shiiiiiit
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Thanks for the link. Deleted so the povvos on here don't spoil the place.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

haha, you sad prick
www.themeatmarket.co.uk/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Never mind that shit,
Three weekends in a row! I'm turning in to Hugh Hefner.
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Complete with the quilted dressing gown and monogrammed slippers?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

No point doing things by half

( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)

and the alzheimers and incontinence?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:58, Reply)

EVERYBODY GET DOWN TO THE MEATMARKET, INVITE YOUR FRIENDS
QUIIICCCKCKCKCKCK!!!

www.themeatmarket.co.uk/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)

No burgers on Bank Holidays
Fuck that!
( Peej, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Ha ha. The food is very good btw.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:29, Reply)

well i don't want to go now

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Meatloaf butties?
This sounds promising.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Grand weekend thanks, bar the footie but still not a bad run for Roy. If he likes vikings shout Fus Ro Dah at him and blow things over for comedy effect.
Shame about baz, he made me laugh.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Indeed, most disappointing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)

There's always the world cup monty, oh hang on...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Is this not the world cup that's on at the moment then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

No, it's the European cup.
And now I want to kill myself because apparently some football has seeped in through my defences.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)

does anyone know what the score was?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:44, Reply)

0-0

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:44, Reply)

ok kl thx

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I think he'll be back here in the not too distant future.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

because its all another lie

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I just got forwarded this link again
Might be a good idea for anyone who orders things in bulk, looks like it's not a bad idea - www.westingourmet.co.uk/freesteaks
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Is it a two muscle or three muscle rump? Three muscle is a bit tough and cooks differently to the other parts.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Not a clue, I'm afraid.
Also, do you know if this is a decent Chimichurri recipe? - www.westingourmet.co.uk/gourmet-club/add-taste-exotic-argentinian-ribeye-steak/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Monty's the chap to evaluate that. I use his recipe.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

They have an awardwinning Lardo
much like this place.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:35, Reply)

if I may be so bold,
The tourist attractions in York are 'fucking shit', especially the Jorvik Bender Centre, the Dungeon and Rick Witter's house.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)

and the Railway Museum is only of interest to autistic quenders.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

like tangled's wife

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:44, Reply)

She's not bad
No 2-6-0 model 2324.2356 though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:47, Reply)

hahahaha!
Rick Witter's house!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:41, Reply)

house shed.

Obvious.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Ha ha ha, barry lolz

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Haha 5am Barry rape stealing kitchen floor haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:48, Reply)

couchrape, surely?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)

will he ever come back here, or is the shame too much?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Well Baldmonkey came back after he stole a didlio didn't he.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:52, Reply)

BM has no shame though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:53, Reply)

it's all fictional so who really cares?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:53, Reply)

We should all talk about your helicopter.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:54, Reply)

my nephew drew a picture of me in a helicopter yesterday
and then we played football with a dog
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Did it sick a rainbow when you kicked it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:56, Reply)

no it was this really sweet old collie
and it jsut watched us kicking the ball back and forth for ages, getting closer and closer, and it backed off if we passed the ball to it or got too close, and then when he was feeling brave enough he joined in and actually nudged the ball back to us when it came near him

top dog
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Collies are ace

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:57, Reply)

this collie was all old and that, and some snot nosed little shit kid girl of about 18 months old
pulled his tail really hard, but he still didn't even flinch
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:01, Reply)

I saw it pciking up sasha from the San Francisco bay while a shark jumped to try and eat her

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 10:55, Reply)

i reckon sasha could take a shark
actually, speaking of the sash she's invited me to her birthday drink next week, she's got like 150 facebook friends but she's invited about 30 people, including me, but no-one else that we worked with

weird
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Someone's gonna get sucked off.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:01, Reply)

*Barry when he pawns the stuff he stole and spends it on lithuanian hookers.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:02, Reply)

nah, he got cuaght and beaten to within an inch of his vacuous life

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:03, Reply)

By battered? lol

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:05, Reply)

battered worked the crotch andstomach and Bobby worked the ears

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I'd gone home.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:10, Reply)

nah not me
she'll be there with her army bloke and if i went i'd take my mrs

maybe a gangbang's on the cards
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:02, Reply)

remeber to "wrap it up, before you slap it up"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 25 Jun 2012, 11:04, Reply)