Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so my friend is marrying this rare tooland amongst other crimes - eg he was surprised to learn he had to wear a suit. for a church wedding - he wants "the drugs don't work" for their first dance. he has been veto'd. what would be the least appropriate song for any occasion, ever?
i'm going with "stayin' alive" for a funeral.
alt: beach or pool?
altalt: have you ever dressed as a member of the opposite sex? bonus points for pics.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:04,
305 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I Believe in MiraclesHospital radio.
Altalt: Yes, yes I have.
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Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:09,
Reply)
i see what you did therenow make with the tranny pics
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
I can't hear that song without thinking of that hippo and duck advert for the bed company. I believe in miricoils or something like that.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
Morning Swipe."So What", by the Anti Nowhere League. That's one I'm claiming for my funeral. And I loathe the verve, horrible band.
Alt, beach of course. You Cheshire chav.
Altalt, once, at 6th form college, for a fancy dress party. I still hang my head.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:10, Reply)
"So what, so what, you boring little cunt".Yes. This, I hasten to say, is the song's chorus, and not a reply to AA, who I love deeply. And not in a benderly shirter way.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
"The Tide Is High" for a drowning victim, I suppose."My Heart Will Go On" is also utterly inappropriate, as it is painfully shit.
Alt: Pool
AltAlt: No, never.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
better than this morning.Was eating breakfast, had had two mouthfuls and suddenly had an OH FUCK moment. Went to lectures with hair pulled up and pinned back so if I had to run out to vom it wasn't going to get in the way. The lecture room was JUST bright enough that it was stabby stabby in my eyes and I couldn't focus on the screen.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Oof, fucking hellAll that from 3 glasses of wine?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
I don't usually drink at all. I think I properly have a go at it three or four times a year. 3 glasses of wine for me, when I'm on medication that actually clashes with it, is enough to make me quite ill.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Your mate is worse for marrying him(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
her parents must roll their eyes at the very mention of him in the houseas he drags dogshit round the living room carpet on one of his all too thankfully infrequent visits
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
AND THEY GET TO PAY FOR THE WEDDING !!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
i want to know where my invite isto swipe's friend's wedding, but also to malc's coming out party next year, i just found an invite on kevin's desk :(
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
you need to have a serious chat with him before it all gets out of handmaybe the offer to helicopter the bride to the church might smooth things over
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
'I like to move it' played to Christopher Reeve*Alt: neither, both get boring very quickly.
AltAlt: no.
*I know he's dead.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:12,
Reply)
Burn Baby Burn for a cremation I guess?alt: whichever has the best bar.
altalt: yes, vicars and tarts the wrong way round for a party. I wasn't a looker.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I always find it odd when people have "Every breath you Take" by the Police at their weddingSeeing as its a song about a nutter stalking an ex.
Alt
Alt Alt , No, not even for a zany wacky student event
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Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
and don't stand so close to me is about a child trying to fuck her teacher(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:18, Reply)
And Are You Old Enough freaked me the fuck out when I worked out what it was actually asking.(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
See also:"Young Girl" and "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
Or even less subtle:Lemon Incest by Serge & Charlotte Gainsbourg
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
my my that WILL look good in your search history
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m6GXEoOhN8it's by an aussie band I think.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Same way as people claiming that Adele track is romantic.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
I thought "Rolling in the Deep"Was your's and Bella's song
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
No it isn'tAnd not that one, this one - www.youtube.com/watch?v=qemWRToNYJY
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
Adele never really got over it when I dumped her for being fat(
Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
'First Time Ever I Saw Your Face', when Simon Weston has come over for dinnerAlt: Museum
Altalt: dear Lord no.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
I didn't start the fireI didn't light it, but I'm trying to fight it
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Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
'Disco Inferno' when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
Or Gap Band's "you dropped the bomb on me"(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
my girlfriend put on Katy Perry's 'Peacock' in the car with her mum, that was awkwardalt both
altalt yes
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:17, Reply)
'you've got the finest architecture, end of the rainbow, no conjecture''such a sight to see, and it's all for me'
these are the tamer lyrics from the song
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:20, Reply)
'Fire' by Arthur Brown when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
I'm more than a little embarrassed to admit this, but I thought that was a Hendrix track...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
What a pikey arsehole, I can't believe he has any redeeming featuresI want the Top Gun theme at my funeral, played by a long hiared rocker standing on a gran piano.
alt: beach, ngguuh
altalt: Yes, as a school girl. I foumnd myself wasted having been thrown out of a club wandering around Kings Cross in Sydney. Kings X is the red light district, I was whistled at a propositioned too many times
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:18,
Reply)
Top choice!GOOSE! GOOOOOOSE! OH NO! OH NO!
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
Gayest film ever.If Goose and Maverick weren't bumming, then I'm a clog-dancing Dutchman.
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Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
Of course it's the gayest film ever.It's official.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
And it's shit, to boot.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:48,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure there isn't a town in the world where Kings Cross isn't the hooker and alsatian kebab district.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
'Don't Worry Be Happy' when Foggsy has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
He is friends with Compo and Cleggy, isn't he?They have adventures that end in sliding down a hill in a bathtub.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
A WANKER THAT@S WHOI DON'T HAVE THE DETAILS BUT THERE'S BEEN SOME SEISMIC EVENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED OFFLINE IN BETALAND. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GAZ ME THEM THEN FEEL FREE
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
MY INBOX IS STILL GREY EVERYONE(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:36,
Reply)
"Little Boy You're Going to Hell" at a FuneralAlt: Beach
Alt alt: On too bloody many occasions
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
'Fire' by Jimi Hendrix when Simon Weston has come over for dinner?(
Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
AA thought this was by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
Coldplay's "Yellow".at a funeral for someone who died of kidney failure?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
oh god somebody showwed me simpsons porn last night ohgodhogodit was the creepiest, scariest thing i've ever seen
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:31, Reply)
ahaha well with only 4 fingers and obvious liver failure. not surprised you were creeped out.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)
it was warpedlike they used sound samples and images from the real simpsons, but added huge cocks, it was terrifying
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)
A mate of mine wanted Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way" played at his wedding reception this yearHadn't thought it through. If I ever get married I want to walk down the aisle to the Rocky theme. The missus gets the Imperial March.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19, Reply)
"grounds for divorce" as a first dance would be pretty fucking epic.I believe a certain b3tan of my acquiantance wanted that but was vetoed by her husband to be.
alt: beach, assuming it's warm and there are no big fucking teethy pelagics
alt alt: Hell yes. I'm not putting the pic up here though.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
That would be a terrible first dance, too slow for a Rumba, no feel for a Foxtrot......oh you mean the LYRICS
Plus it's shit
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23, Reply)
It's fucking not.He might be a fat sweaty cunt but he's a lyrical genius.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
Erm, then you're commenting on the music. Not the song.the song is the two combined. Slagging off Elbow for the music part of their work is rather like dismissing Beethoven for writing poor lyrics.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
Apologies, Pedant Boy ;-)I'd just like to point out a couple of issue with your post;
Elbow are a band and are therefore in the business of making music. If excellent lyrics are their stock in trade then surely Mr Sweaty Ginger Manc should be a poet. Moreover, I do like some of their songs, just not that one.
How many lyrics did Ludwig write?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Lyrics and poetry are different disciplines though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:45,
Reply)
So are Pulp. Or the Beautiful Southno-one's interested in the intracacies of their guitar noodling.
Anyway, that's bollocks. As I said, you can no more dismiss a band for being musically limited but lyrically genius than you can dismiss a classicist for not having lyrics.
Elbow are a band and therefore in the business of making songs, not necessarily great music. The reason he's not a poet is that there is some music, it's just not necessarily the focus of the song.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:46,
Reply)
oh SHUT UPyou're coming across as a right wanker right now, ITS JUST A BAND
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)
IT'S JUST A SHED.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:48,
Reply)
wtf are you talking about?are you MARRIED to this Elbow prick or something?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
oh dear, i hate it when people refer to people as 'a **** genius'cos generally, they're not. sure, maybe his lyrics have some resonance with you, but that doesn't amke him a 'genius'
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)
It's got nothing to do with resonance, I don't really like Elbow.his lyrics are very good, although I suppose it depends on your definition of genius.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:48,
Reply)
or your interpretation of said lyricsthis is clearly bollocks for a start;
Don't mix your drinks
Don't mix with him.
It will kill you one day.
Good advice. Sound advice.
You need to be like him, like me.
Look what you could achieve.
I'm coming cap-in-hand.
Begging you to listen
Something draws me in!
I just can't christen it.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)
and you compared this to classic composers?oh dear, badge. first time i've seen you wrong on the internet
:(
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Er, noI said you can't dismiss a band because their main stock is their words not their music any more than you can dismiss classical music for not having lyrics. That's not a comparison of quality, do pay more attention, Q, there's a good chap.
And I've been wrong fucking loads on here lately. You're obviously not stalking me well enough.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:54,
Reply)
bollocks, words are jsut a part of the musicyes, they might have nice lyrics, but if the accompanying music is shit, they're shit at being a band
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)
You and me are just going to have to disagree on this one, Q.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
that's the pointone man's 'musical genius' is jsut another prick to everyone else
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Indeed. that's absolutely the point.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:20,
Reply)
Relight my fire when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
'Fire' by Bruce Springsteen when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
Anything by The Faces when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
Burn it Up by the Beatmasters when Simon Weston has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:22,
Reply)
This is why Simon Weston never goes to anyone's house for dinner.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
hahahaThat and they always serve him pizza
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
I dunno what he's complaining aboutHe hasn't ages a day in 30 years. I want his secret of eternal youth!
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Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:25,
Reply)
That and the fact that he's a fucking cunt so no-one likes him.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:26,
Reply)
Our first dane was Nina Simone - My baby just cares for meI really wasn't keen on the whole 1st dnace thing, but after a minute we got everyone else involved so it wasn't too bad. PLus I was quite pissed
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
This was my first dancewww.myspace.com/notlist/music/songs/fraction-slow-and-banging-57393728 I fucking loved it. Everything about our wedding was traditional and posh except the band. The hotel manager eventually got so many complaints from other guests he had to offer us the in house DJ for free for the rest of the night and pay the band out of the hotels funds to get them to finish early. They didn't mind I got the hotel to pay them 4 times what I was going to
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Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
We didn't do a first dance, as wecouldn't agree on one.I wanted 'if you want to be happy' by Jimmy Soul. He wanted some turgid slow dance shuffly bollocks.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:29,
Reply)
My first first dance was By Your Side by SadeI had nothing to do with that as a choice.
My second first dance was "you and me song" by The Wannadies. That was quite funny, if only for the looks from the more elderly relatives.
I was tempted by "nothing else matters" but it's way too slow and been done to many times. I always fancied "iris" but was vetoed, sad times. Ditto the Biffy Clyro version of "umbrella". ah well, just have to get married again.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
awww thanksbut i just can't move to scotland. best stay as you are!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
Scotland has a much lower Cunt Quotient than the South EastAnd Edinburgh has far better bars and restaurants than London. And, obviously, me. Your loss.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
All that Buckfast has really gone to your head hasn't it badger(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
Not really.It's got plenty of truth. London high end cuisine disappeared up its own arse years ago, it's all emporer's new clothes or places you can't get into in a million years. And the old school favourites are as good up here as they are down there, the variety is as wide and the quality as good.
And if you want a single bar that sums up everything that is fucking wrong with London drinking establishments, "the mayor of scaredy cat town"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
plenty of good restaurants, you should pick better!and a sample size of one bar is not very scientific, you of all people should know that.
ALthough it does add so much cuntyness as to drag the whole lot down
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
Meh, I'm giving it as an example of overall attitudeAnd I know not all London is like that. I lived there for fucking years. Just as you know that a lot of it exactly IS like that, and that's what I hate about it.
I know there's plenty of good restaurants. Plenty of shit ones, too, and that's the problem.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
Ah, but latterly, its Scouse quotient has gone up...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
She doesn't drink in my pubs so it's OK, I haven't had to put a chain on my wallet(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:57,
Reply)
I didn't make mr b3th wear a suit for our weddingOn the basis that it was his wedding too, and I wanted him to wear what he would be comfortable in.
And it wasn't a church wedding, as I'm not a massive hypocrite.
Alt: pool. As long as it's not full of chavs and kids. And chavvy kids.
Alt alt: yes, for a play.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
White short sleeved shirt and tan chinos.I think in my head I was having a beach wedding.
Turns out, he looks like Peter Griffin in most of the wedding photos.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
or
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:51,
Reply)
i've seen the pictures, it had juicy couture on the arse(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
I think most people have seen the pictures.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
Yes, with £9 of sweets down his bollocks(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
Really?I've just been scraping them down the loo when I do the laundry...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:32,
Reply)
By which you mean it gives you the right horn(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:39,
Reply)
i'VE BEEN REELING OVER THE WHOLE AFFAIR, i ALWAYS HAD HIM DOWN AS HARMLESS, NOT A VICIOUS STREET CHAVwww.b3ta.com/questions/cunningplans/post1667121?highlight=answers-post-1667464
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:33,
Reply)
I don't think it hypocritical to have a church wedding if you are not religiousThey are lovely old buildings with some impressive architecture.
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Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
It's not the building. I absolutely love churches as displays of architechture.It's more the 'getting married in the sight of god' when you don't believe in god I object to.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:37,
Reply)
I thought about that and figured that as he doesn't exist how can it be in the sight of GodJust because someone says something doesn't mean it has to mean anything. Like when Monty calls me names but I know he loves me really because of all the cockgazzes
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Peej, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:40,
Reply)
They're not pictures of his cock.They're all the clients he gets down Clapham way. He just thinks you might recognise a few...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:43,
Reply)
Murder Was the CaseWhen the McCanns go out for dinner.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
Hammer Smashed Face for when Peter Sutcliffe comes over(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
'The Kids are Alright' when Paul Gadd has come over for dinner(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:28,
Reply)
In other news, Tangles QOTW suggestion; Sheds, has made it on to this weeks vote.The only reason to vote for this is that it will piss Boyce off if it wins.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:30,
Reply)
Have they given up on even pretending to try and make it interesting now?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
For when Barry comes to dinner.www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG6H-FhprXY
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Dear Swipe,As you are perpetually alone I would like to offer my services and be your +1 at your friend's wedding, I believe that on my arm, people may not stare quite so intently at your wonky eye, the cat food in your straggly hair or the dubious stains on that dress you're spilling out of.
I am prepared to offer the bride a lift to the registry office in my helicopter if it helps.
Best,
Quentin
x
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)
That is the nicest offer I've ever read.You're a lovely chap really, aren't you.
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:38,
Reply)
have a word with swipe for me, you know she needs to at least look like she can get a mani'm sure my gf will understand when i explain its a care in the community thing
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)
i bet she'd pay your train farea weekend of peace without that clingy wet blanket, hooooorah.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
i was trying to be nice, i can see now why no man will have you:'''''''''''''''''(
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)
and i can see why you always get dumpedcheers
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08,
Reply)
i've been in two very long term relationships and had the odd short one in betweenhow is that 'always getting dumped'? have you ever had a long term relationship?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:23, Reply)
unluckily for youi'm the bridesmaid.
so whilst it is very nice of you to offer your hideous visage to take attention away from me, i must decline on this occasion.
muchas besos
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:49,
Reply)
even bridesmaids need dates, swipewhose gonna walk you up the aisle eh? they'll all be looking at you, you know
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)
i think i have to walk the little ones up the aisleseriously, if you need friends this badly, join a running club or something?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
aw, swipeyou're the ugly auntie who has to sit at the kids table cos you're 35 and single
I was only trying to help :(((((
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:57, Reply)
how much did your wedding and divorce cost again?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:59,
Reply)
the divorce was cheap as chips, we mutually agreed to a two year seperationso she didn't get anything that didn't already belong to her, and the wedding was a lovely day so well worth the money spent
that money you're saving up for yours might be better invested elsewhere :(
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)
hey, every girl needs a good supply of these, even if you're in a relationship.(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I like having all ten fingers, yes.They're handy.
!!!LOL!!!
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Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:22,
Reply)
it's nice that you can take such a cheerful look at ityou'll need it when the second one goes tits up
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
we're not getting marriedmaybe a handfasting at some point, but we have a grown-up relationship, there's no rush to change things and we don't feel the need to prove anything
have you ever been with anyone like that?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)
a handfasting? you rare hippy twatno, i tend to steer clear of the mental needy divorced ones.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:16,
Reply)
i'm no hippie, my my veggie gf almost isi think you need to stop steering clear and jsut take what you can get
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)
i'll bear it in mindbut i think i'd rather never get laid again than fuck a veggie hippy. eeow.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:21,
Reply)
hahayou have no idea. but if the current plan goes according to plan, i'll be very very smug.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:33,
Reply)
Bridesmaids get all the action, everybody knows thatwhy'd she want a date cramping her style?
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Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
And sharinga pew with Q really would be cramped(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:01,
Reply)
Who the fuck is Sharinga Pew and why is she muscling inon Swipe and Quentin's hot wedding date?
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:03,
Reply)
From Nakers' description, she's fat as fuck.Sounds like she's taking up an entire bench by herself.
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
she is highly efficient at crashing weddings(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
i'd imagine the crucifix would start spinning when he walked in the doors(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08,
Reply)
i don't feel comfortable in churchesat my nephew's christening me and my brother made paedo jokes about the vicar
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Christenings are incredibly boring though(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:11,
Reply)
yeah I remember your autist qotweak thing about that(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:15,
Reply)
your idea about escorting swipe to the wedding was TERRIBLEthere have been DIRE consequences, i'm gonna sue you
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:28, Reply)
:( I WAS ONLY TRYING TO GET YOU SOME ACTION(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:42,
Reply)
it's been 2 weeks rory! I'M GETTING DEPSERATE AND SHE'S ON BLOCKS:((((((((((((((((((((((((
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Where do I start with these questions?Arsing help.
Someone, quickly, entertain me.
I am wearing a stripy shirt today.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Real men wear pinkIf you are afraid of it, it's probably because you are a closet bummer.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:06,
Reply)
I wear shirts and ties with pink detail.But not where pink dominates.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Plain white shirt today, being boring.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:54,
Reply)
does it have short sleeves and a pen in the breast pocket?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:55,
Reply)
SHIRT SUBTHREAD!!!!!!!!!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
beautifully tailored crisp white shirtsare one of the sexiest things a guy can wear
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:07,
Reply)
or a crumpled white shirt in the morning for a lady80s FILM CLICHE
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
Don't get me wrong.A tailored white shirt is the bedrock of a man's wardrobe, but are too easy to accessorise. Wearing a bold, striped shirt with the right tie and cufflinks is a proper challenge.
Plus chicks dig it/ me.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:26, Reply)
sort of teal t shirt today, i look well cool rocking the cas-u-al look(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:10, Reply)
I've got on a purple striped shirtwith a big stiff collar.
I do like a big stiff one.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:26,
Reply)
Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep for Kate McCann(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 10:56,
Reply)
Baby come back.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
Fucking hell, not heard that in a while.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:04,
Reply)
They once had a Boys V Girls night in falirakiMe and me mate went on the girls team, dressed in drag, it was a lol.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:00,
Reply)
No offence gonz but thinkning of you dressed as a womanwith a scraggly beard, gut hanging out and shit sliding down your saggy stockings make me feel a little off colour.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:11,
Reply)
I've dressed up as a wolf dressed as a grandma for literacy day before. The mask I got was a bit too scary and I made some kids cry.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)
DUDE, IT WAS YOUR FAT ARSE HANGING OUT THE BACK(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:09,
Reply)
So am I the victim of the day today? Whoopee, It's like being 'chosen' by Athletes Foot.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)
kids aren't that into wolfbagging though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:20,
Reply)
I reckon they ought to bin /QOTWThey only started doing it for material for their now defunct radio show and it hasn't been at all interesting in fucking years.
CONTROVERSY ONLINE
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:08,
Reply)
alot of the autists have fucked off(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:10,
Reply)
I used to enjoy the strange insight into the world of the mentally ill(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:16,
Reply)
it's about the mind stunned, not what's in the mirroryesh
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:28,
Reply)
You're still here though sweetcheeks and you have enough autism for the whole board.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)
yeah but then all the moany mongs wll come here instead(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:10,
Reply)
I reckon most of them will go to /talkat least, those like AB and Shambles.
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:21,
Reply)
I think it's a shame, as from time to time there are still some absolutely excellent answersSuch as this one - www.b3ta.com/questions/sports/post1594606 - which cracked me up.
Sadly, the quality answers are far outweighed by the shit ones.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:11,
Reply)
when it's a good /qotw some of the stories are brilliantbut i hardly ever read them any more, because the questions are shite.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:17,
Reply)
when the question is tediousit will breed more tedious answers. it's not that people can't still make good stories out of it.
it's that they won't bother.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:26,
Reply)
Nah, she's so far in the closet you might as well call her the white witch.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:29, Reply)
i am out sat nightbut might be around during the day. why, what's the plan??
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:29,
Reply)
Is Friday an option for you instead?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:31,
Reply)
I'm going to a burlesque show on FridayCould be good, could be terrible.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:33,
Reply)
MehBeats stopping in.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:34,
Reply)
Girls prancing about in corsetswhat's not to like? It's not as empowering as pole dancing, but I bet they still feel all strong and feminine and shit.
(
Kroney, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:35,
Reply)
Clearly you've been to shit burlesque.I went to a burlesque games night last month and it was hot.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Nope, but she pulled my face into her boobs.I was more shocked by that then by the way you could see the bottom of her bum hanging out of her frilly knickers.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)
i am supposed to be running because i am out sat and sunbut i could swap that if there is alcohol in the plan
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:34,
Reply)
There is definitely booze planned. Just need to confirm if Friday or Saturday evening.I can make both but would prefer Friday, Monty can make both, Stunned hasn't answered the question about Friday but he can do Saturday.
Fucking hell why is it so difficult to arrange meeting in a pub?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:37,
Reply)
Saturday evening it is then. I will gaz details.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
Sweet. I will prolly go and meet Montenegro in the afternoon and we can meet in Gordon's? Is that easy enough for you?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:41, Reply)
I can do Saturday as I'm at a wedding soz(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:39,
Reply)
IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO PRIVATELY MESSAGE PEOPLE OTHER PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE PARTY TO THIS DREARINESS (
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:40,
Reply)
if enough people reply to the next QOTW with'Close QOTW'
Do you think they'd do it?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:32, Reply)
D.I.V.O.R.C.E, at a wedding.Don't jump off the roof dad. For a suicide jumper.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:38,
Reply)
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