So, cop for this, then.
What are you up to this weekend?

Alt: make up a humorous lie or anecdote involving Brian Jacks, Daley Thompson and/or Geoff Capes. Or Duncan Goodhew.

Alt alt: What's 'trending' in the 'blogosphere' right now?

Altaltalt: ZAMMO - will he never learn?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:31, 204 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Off to the Missus' house this weekend, should be fun.
Alt: No.

AltAlt:
Manchester trends
#WhatIFindAttractive
#HowToKeepARelationshipWithMe
Friday the 13th
#bankofdave
Chamonix
Harry Kewell
F1 Race Stars
Clarke Carlisle
Justin for 9
Adrian Mariappa
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:32, Reply)

WHO'S HOUSE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Run%27s_House
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Glad someones on the ball.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Hugh Laurie.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:55, Reply)

No THANK YOU, you mean?
Fucking rude fucking northerners. Fuck's sake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I'll have you know that I am a very polite Northerner
Thank you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

That you are.

After you. Thank you.

SEE AA? NOT FUCKING HARD IS IT??
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Youngsters these days

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Would it be technically correct to respond to a request with 'No thank you'?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Yes, thank you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Yesterday 'Freddy Eastwood' was on that list.
My local paper actually bloody reported that fact.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Given up the tarmac business again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

He just didn't say no, Monters.
If only he'd said no.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

can my lie I involve Michael Edwards

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:33, Reply)

*checks*

I'm afraid not, sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

But Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards is the bomb

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)

I told you before and got called a liar for my troubles (by the man behind the samurai sword beheading story, no less), I beat Brian Jacks at Judo once.

As I feel forced to admit, he was friends with my instructor and came to visit our group. I was 6 and he let me win. But still.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Lies on the internet.
I thought better of you*.

*I didn't, really
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I showed my cock to Adrian Mutu and Claudio Ranieri once
True story. However my suspicion is that you neither know nor care who they are. And rightly so.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Did Mutu sniff it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

He did not.
Damien Duff was also there, fact fans, but I don't think he saw it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)

He didn't chel-see it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

He was too busy getting into the most chavved out Range Rover I have ever seen
With the plate "DUFFA"

Yeah, and then you whine about press intrusion and not being left alone. One-trick prick.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:09, Reply)

I think Duff looks like he has an extra chromosome

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Me? I'm one of the pro-football people round here.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Ah, apologies. I dunno why I assumed you were.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Well, I say 'football'. league 2 barely counts, but...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Um, I will be working and studying.
I'm also home alone, so my evenings will probably be spent crying into my pillow and drinking myself into a coma.

I don't know how to answer any of these other questions.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:35, Reply)

drin wan
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:36, Reply)

well that too of course.
hardly need saying.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:37, Reply)

Cheerful as ever then, Poppet?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Fucking nothing, Monty.
Alt: Who?
Altalt: The what?
Altaltalt: Who?
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Nice owl impression.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

What's the big eye dear?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

You twit.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

who?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

I am off to the in-laws to eat vast quantities of food and drink vast quantities of free Stella
Duncan Goodhew is a bald-headed champion

Alt Alt:
Sheds

Altaltalt:
No
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I will be boozing and stalking various newsreaders.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:38, Reply)

This ^ is a good weekend

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Bruce, Williams and Edwards.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Edwards?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Huw.
Just for lolz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Sexy Welsh bastard

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

We're finishing clearing out the house so nothing much
And my brothers girlfriend is coming for a visit, which is awkward since he's made up his mind to break up. I expect to try and stay out of the house as much as I can.

Alt: you're ill Monty. I recommend some anti-psychotics.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Oh that is awkward.
He can have the stuff I was on, I have left overs, and he'd probably like the side effects of a higher dose.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:41, Reply)

All is well that ends well
We've bought plenty of beer, because nothing makes dramatic conversations better than more alcohol.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

This is very true.
Alcohol is always good for conversations.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

OH MAN.
One of my lecturer's wrote his password in his username box this morning in the middle of the lecture, and I jokingly said woop! you'll have to change it now! I just tested it, and he hasn't changed his password. WHAT SHOULD I DO TO HIS ACCOUNT?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:40, Reply)

If you don't want to be thrown out of the uni
I suggest nothing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Yeah, I kinda don't want to be thrown out of uni.
*logs out*
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Delete it
And then kill him.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

this is also an option.
Or change his email sig to "this email has been scanned by HerpoScan, to test for the presence of sexually transmitted viruses"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:44, Reply)

hehehehehe.
I do like this suggestion.

OH. If only I wasn't such a goody goody.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Suck it up, Oddie!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Put your hands all over my body

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I really don't get this.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)

t's simple internet grooming
and not very subtle really
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Misheard Madonna lyrics innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Oh.
I should have expected it from the sweaty handed individuals here.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

You said you were a goody goody
There was an English comedy trio called The Goodies, of which Bill Oddie was a member.

Sporto was referring to the song 'Erotica' by Madonna, only changing the words from 'Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body' to 'Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body'.

Hope this clears everything up.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

It does indeed
Apart from the itching "down below"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

Nothing.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

use his access to up your grades
lower those of people you don't like, etc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Log in
User and Groups - Users - find his account - remove all his permissions - click OK
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I prefer a more sneaky one
Start Word and set some auto-correct options. Change his name to auto-correct to Donkey Fucker Jr
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Log in
Start - Run - type "services.msc" - Find Netlogon entry - click stop - log out.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

techlols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)

worst of all the lols

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

If he has access to do that
it's pretty much not secure anyway
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

I've never known a college or university
to restrict its user accounts.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:57, Reply)

We do!

( Peej, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:52, Reply)

All band related stuff for me this weekend
Rehearsing tonight for a gig in August; listening to latest mix of our soon to be released album; meeting with an artist chap who is hopefully going to do some great artwork for the sleeve; discussing a sponsorship deal with lucozade/Daley Thompson.

Alt alt: Zammo/shedgate is all over the twitters and the facebooks.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:42, Reply)

what sort of music do you play?
Can you link some here.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Folk
Stupid myspace
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

myspace, lol
Won't play for some reason I'm afraid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Funnily enough we were discussing killing the myspace page only yesterday.
I can offer you a facebook link if you prefer. You could 'like' us then.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

gaz me up big boy, i love a bit of folk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

folk cock
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I've deleted my thread, as this one is more interesting.
Edit, I'm off to see Cameo this weekend. That should be fun.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:45, Reply)

I posted in it and called you a afat fuck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:48, Reply)

I didn't notice sorry.
And morning to you.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:50, Reply)

I posted also
I thought you got stepped on in shedgate
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Obviously not,
he's been posting all yesterday and all this morning.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)

yeah hartley hare you IDIOT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Oi who said you could fill battereds shoes.............
ohhhhhh wait let me rethink that one
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

images.esellerpro.com/2431/I/187/4/284mbo%201.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

need bigger heels

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

That,
is a boot and a half.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:58, Reply)

No it isn't.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Dont let PD see them

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)

Word up.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Nothin tonight, Barnes fayre tomorrow and a wedding at Kew gardens in the afternoon/evening
Sunday is mini ape's birthday party.

Duncan Goodhew polishes his bonce on Daly Thompsons moustache.

altalt: your mum

altaltalt: NEVA!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I think Kew Gardens is one of my favourite places in all of England.
Love it. It's so pretty. And Massive.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:50, Reply)

The wife works there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Jealous.
Which bit?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

All of her LOL!!!11!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Hahahahah

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

i lold, even though it was awful!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

that was fucking SHIT.
LTI.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Marketing, she ain't a gardener
her office is in one of the old building on the green and has lovely views
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Is Barnes Fayre a chain of cut-price carveries?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:57, Reply)

I'm not Hartley Hare

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:59, Reply)

i thought al was hartley hare?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Are you Chompy today?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Burlesque show tonight
Possibly drinking with internet troublemakers on Saturday night.

Alt: google your own 80's Olympic Porn

Altalt: Mitt Romney lining up his family with t-shirts spelling R-O-M-N-E-Y and accidentally spelling MONEY.

AltAltAlt: It seems unlikely. *shake* Signs point to no. *shake* Reply hazy, ask again later.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I'm going to MoatyWorld.
Bet you're well jealous.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:01, Reply)

I hope a zombie Moaty would shout DRAINS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:19, Reply)

I was waxing duncan goodhew's head when
daley thompson vaulted into the shop. only, he missed his mark and the pole snapped in half, he crashed through a door and landed square on brian jacks!! pinned them both under my greenstar 350i boiler!
well, I was straight on the blower to geoff capes and he freed them in no time.
took a while to calm duncan down, bless him.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:02, Reply)

This is the sort of thing I was after.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

needs MOAR fanny patting

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:16, Reply)

and AWOOGA

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:20, Reply)

This weekend I are mostly buying a car and drinking heavily
Alt: I met Jeff Capes once. He's a very big man. LOL (is that humorous enough?)
Alt alt: No idea
Altaltalt: Who's Zammo?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:03, Reply)

JUST SAY NO!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Zammo chased the dragon and got a smack on the nose.
'member Bronson killing Kendall?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Michael Sheard, who played Bronson
Held the record for the actor who played Hitler more times than anyone else.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

...and he was in Star Wars too!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:13, Reply)

According to wikipedia
He played Hitler 5 times, and also Himmler 3 times.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:19, Reply)

He did have "the look"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Color u peach and black
Color me takin aback.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Probably why he was such a bastard to Kendall.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Just googled Zammo and Grange hill
No wonder I didn't recognise the reference, I was already 18 when Grange Hill started.

Thanks guys, I now feel old.

*glums*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

If you want to feel really old, it started 10 years before I was born.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:21, Reply)

Thanks
Yeah, thanks a bunch :(
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:24, Reply)

I live to please!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:39, Reply)

you fart dust LOL!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:23, Reply)

what car are you buying?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:11, Reply)

No, he's decided already

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:12, Reply)

A Kia Sorento 2.5 diesel XE

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:13, Reply)

:(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)

They are supposed to be good cars
but it's a Kia.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:16, Reply)

You could buy a Kia
Or a 'nother car
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:20, Reply)

was warned off kias, expensive parts apparently

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Kia used to give you a free bike with every car.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:34, Reply)

I'll be your dog

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Too orangey for The Supreme Crow
I hear.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Yeah, I was sceptical at forst, then I researched it and it ticks the boxes
Biggish - Check
Automatic - Check
Selective 4wd - Check
All the toys - Check (except built-in satnav)
Diesel with a CHAIN -DRIVE cam - Check

And above all CHEAP
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:23, Reply)

alt alt
i just finished a book called Rule 34 by Stross. I need to talk to someone else who's read it now. I have book hangover

(it fits the altalt because it's all to do with blogosphere and botnets and stuff)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:14, Reply)

nets dogs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:15, Reply)

This is what I put up with at work.
My boss 'The Friday 13th stuff is rubbish. I don't have any superstitions. In fact, 13 is my lucky number'

Which, actually, is a mildly amusing joke. if he were joking, but sadly he was not, as evidence by the fact he then went on to explain at great length why 13 was his lucky number.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:16, Reply)

As we are no longer in the 13th century I dont have superstitions

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Nor do I. Superstitions bring nothing but bad luck.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:19, Reply)

ironolols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:20, Reply)

sometimes I want to believe in superstitions
just because I want it to be true that you can predict the future and have control over random events. But believing in the bad ones seems counterproductive
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:21, Reply)

bad causality
shit happens randomly all the time, to blame it on magpies or something makes no sense.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:26, Reply)

i am aware of that, read the post
I just want it to be true. There's a difference
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:27, Reply)

it might be quite good...
although you'd have skint people running round looking for large groups of magpies, etc
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Not a problem to find either in Newcastle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:34, Reply)

that explains the crowd round Bigg Market every night then

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:38, Reply)

NOTHING explains that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:39, Reply)

I am mostly not superstitious. I am not religious
and conduct myself generally with logic an rationality.

However, I will not walk on groups of three drain covers.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:28, Reply)

This is more to do with autism.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Or take a third light off a match.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:31, Reply)

That's just for burnt fingers though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:33, Reply)

And german snipers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Or work more than three days on the trot without striking.
The French cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:34, Reply)

I can't remember the last time I took a sickie or refused to work.
I'm letting down my entire country.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:36, Reply)

Sacre Bleu!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:54, Reply)

gym tonight
out for lunch with friend A and then dinner/bar with friend B tomorrow. going to see a friend's new baby with another pregnant friend on sunday. that will be a barrel of laughs.

alt: if you want to read gay porn, get on with it.

altalt: me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Aaaaw
Don't babies make you all broody and 'Cootchi cootchie coo'?
Or, as I suspect, you view them as needy wailing bags of vomit and shit?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:42, Reply)

they do - i love my nieces and nephew to bits
but they have turned my friends into non-partying automatons, the little shits.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

THEY DON'T LEAVE US ANY MONEY OR ENERGY!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

well that'll teach you to wear a condom
not that you'll ever get sex again, or not until it turns 14 and fucks off joyriding in your car for the night anyway
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

I vote the latter.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Tell me something.
You loathe all this coupley new mummy shit. Why do you keep going to these things?
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

they are my two best mates from uni
i can't not go. i would just much prefer it to be back in the days of us getting cunted all day :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

I wouldn't, I was a right old minger in those days.
I'm much hotter now. I like now better. Soz.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

dude
those days were last year!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

:(

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

i meant my drinking days
not your minging days
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:03, Reply)

they're still going on

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:05, Reply)

>:(

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Oh, stop flirting you incorrigible strumpet

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:05, Reply)

I've got the day off.
So far, I've had phone calls from three different people asking me work based questions, a text asking me if I can go in for an hour for a meeting and most recently, someone email me asking if I have today off.

I think it might be time to quit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Switch your phone off.

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

But how will I moan about it on here?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:45, Reply)

You won't.
Everybody wins. Except you, which like a second victory for us.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

You make a good point.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Geoff Capes scaled the walls of the £756,000 Sussex mansion with all the stealth of a gekko on a Mallorcan shower wall.
As luck would have it the window was open. He dropped in and slipped out of his dungerees and let the cool air caress his distinguished greying beard.

The house was quiet. He looked into one room and saw the sleeping Peter Andre - without the wig and wax on his face he was rather beautiful. But Capes wasn't into arses. Not today.

He heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He ran along the landing, his giant budgie swinging in the air like Saddam on Youtube. He looked into the bathroom and saw a mad little f**ker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water.

"Capes!" said a voice behind him. "Stop looking at my son with your budgie out".

Capes slowly turned around and saw Katie Price in front of him - wearing nothing but a Juicy Couture camisole and the slightest glistening of her ample clunge.

As ever Capes' budgie became harder than the Guardian cryptic and proceeded to bang her tits off as Harvey ate a bag of Prawn Cocktail crisps from the floor that Capes had brought just in case.

Before Capes left he wiped his now dying budgie on Harvey's afro, bent down to the prone Jordan, who lay liked a painter's radio in the moonlight, and whispered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:51, Reply)

needs more dave benson phillips.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

i thought my dad's budgie was dying
it can't fly any more.

turns out the silly sod has broken its collar bone and has been prescribed "cage rest".

what?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:59, Reply)

Ask Geoff Capes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

1: leave it in the dark to fatten up,
2: drown it in Armanac,
3:eat whole
4: ??????????????
5: profit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

what a horrible thing to say about poor captain beaky!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

birds are shit pets

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:04, Reply)

D:>

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

This ! Art !
www.kumiyamashita.com/light-and-shadow/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

that's quite clever

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

:o

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Pearoast.


Cheers.


etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:08, Reply)

nuff said

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:09, Reply)

aid hed
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:09, Reply)

MODS!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:11, Reply)

ROCKERS!


Thanks for the fb link, maybe a little slow for me, but best of luck with it all though!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:13, Reply)

Ta.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

First?

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:12, Reply)

First mistake.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:16, Reply)

what have I missed?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Absolutely nothing.
Start a new thread.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

everyone taking the piss out of your "Burger King" shirt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

His cornflower blue polka dot Burger King t shirt?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 12:15, Reply)