LAST THREAD OF THE WEEK APART FROM THOSE WEIRDO EVENING TYPES
Keira Knightley, hot bit of stuff or doorstop?

Find other LOLarious uses for famous types. For example, James Corden = ballast.

Alt: how many beers will YOU consume this weekend? Well?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:01, 174 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I probably would
but I'd come away with all sorts of bruises from rattling off her bones.

Maybe some sort of pillow?

Alt: Probably very few. I'm in tonight.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Slightly too chinny, but quite attractive from certain angles.
She ranks about a four on the Witherspoon Scale of acting chinmeisters.

Alt: I dread to think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Hazard a wild guess, Monts
I'm two down from lunch and will sink a couple more with Chompy and the Baroness before the weekend begins proper. And if I outdrink you then you're a fanny.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

OK, four plus a bottle of wine this evening.
Tomorrow perhaps 8, because yes I am going out with Stunned and Battered but I shall be calling it a day by ten as it's my daughter's birthday Sunday and I will be round her's for 10am.

Sunday afternoon/eve: maybe 6?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

So 18 pints and a bottle of wine plus MDs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I can match the bottle of wine tonight
And can probably add about 8 tomorrow, but will have to grudgingly concede, and change the subject.

Are you worried that you and Stunned will look like gays with your adoptive son?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Hahahaha
We'll look like Furnish and John on an outing with their wee lad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

You'll have to put your arms around his shoulders
as you're walking through the streets of London and loudly proclaim how proud you are of your wee man.

I would love it if you do this.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

or do
the 1,2,3 ..swing from an arm either side.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Careful, you don't want him to scream and scream until he's sick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Pop him in a purple suit
And paint his face orange
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

A child that will never know the joy of tits

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Poor freefair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Self-inflicted

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:25, Reply)

He'll see a pair tomorrow, no?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I meant Elton & Dave's
No tits for the suckling as an infant, and then he'll be introduced to Posh Spice with the words "and this is what women look like" and it'll be instant uphill gardener syndrome
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:25, Reply)

You're my hero

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I'm my own hero too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Keira Knightly can look amazing or horrible
but nowhere inbetween

John Terry = Under ferry

Alt:
At least 10 bottles of Stella tomorrow night. I'm wrangling for a bottle of red tonight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Also, a special pic for Monty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I GET THIS!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

i saw a berk with this tattoo'd on her back at barcelona airport
and another line underneath.

she was obese and the words were all streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetched.

bad look.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I've seen pics of Berk
She's not obese, you horrible person, you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

something about only freaks stalking other b3tans online dude

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

If you'd just send me a picture of your tits I could get off your profile

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

+ on

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Hahaha
Too late

FAR too late
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)

how rapey

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Are you calling Berk obese here?
Bit rude isn't it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

something about you being light years behind darth.
DARTH, darling.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

They're certainly into something good, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Is that battered's foot?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I have no opinion on the woman
although my mate's sister (who's an actress) thinks she can't act and has a bee in her bonnet about her.

alt: unlikely to be any, I will be sanding and gluing. Progress report no one wanted: cut up bits of sari, arranged into patches
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:06, Reply)

They had to airbrush on cleavage for her in Pirates as she has none
They literally painted in tit shading
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

really?
that seems a bit much. Can't women in films just not show off their tits ocassionally?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I think the corset thingy demands boobage

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Fuck no. Are you mad?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Err...no?
Kindly keep your commie, hair-armpitted women's lib stuff amongst the rest of the lesbos, ta.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

I think I touched on a controversial subject, there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Damned pinko lefties

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

but didn't have time to do it for the other 2
ha
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I'd probably keep her in the dark for a month so she was confused into feeding
Then I'd drown her in Armagnac, pop a sheet over my head bang her up the shit pipe.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Specialist

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

aha Ortolan style
I like your thinking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)

you wouldn't wanna bang her in the shitpipe BEFORE feeding?
i mean you know a chick that thin hasn't got a single gram of poop in her body. but you give her a sudden influx of grease and carbs, BOOM, she'll be shitting like a goose. you'd need to put a rubber sheet down, and wear a hazmat suit. no way her digestive tract would be able to handle a sudden switch from a diet of low-calorie apples, black coffee, and low-grade narcotics.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Thanks, now I have to explain to a colleague why I suddenly barked a very loud laugh out.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Kirk Douglas - a rest for a snooker table
alt: a few tonight, some tomorrow. May turn into lots.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:09, Reply)

davina mccall - guy fawkes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:13, Reply)

You think a bubbly tv presenter
Would make a good 16th century religious terrorist?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

so long as she dies horrifically
then yes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

do you want everyone to die in a fire?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)

not everyone
but i could name about 5.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

Poor PD :(

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)

She's got a point
I wouldn't mind setting her on fire every year.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:15, Reply)

OI, you leave Dave alone, she's alright by me.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

in fairness
realistically, if i was single, and she came up to me in a bar and went 'hey, lets go somewhere and get naked' i'd probably say yes.
i'm not sure i'd ever get another chance to hit a chick where for my 'finishing move' i could whip out my tadger, and play a glockenspiel solo on her ribcage before delivering her more protein than she sees in a month of sundays. but i wouldn't go out of my way to seduce her, you know?

alt: beer: 0 however there's bottle of shit bourbon with my name on it that's getting sunk tonight.
think i deserve it after this week
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Had your uncle ove to stay eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

yeah.
having dead people to stay always puts a downer on things. plus, all the air freshener gives me a right headache! nightmare.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

glockenspiel xylophone
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)

pedantry
at this time on a friday? get tae fuck./
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)

I feel it is an important distinction.
And an all too common mistake, perpetuated by primary school teachers.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:28, Reply)

that's why the global economy is in the shitter
kids these days don't know a xylophone from a zither. kill em all, eh?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:34, Reply)

I would.
Alt: I'm in the pub already.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:16, Reply)

I'm in your mum already
I hope this helps
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

I fail to see how my mum having disappointing sex is going to help me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:23, Reply)

Then you'll seem like a kind and generous lover in comparison

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:25, Reply)

this whole subthread
is rather disturbing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Friday evening threads=no social life.
Monty, plug a hole in a dyke.

Had a bottle of wine at dinner, I'm in fine form.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:17, Reply)

What time zone do you live in?
It must be at least gmt +5
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)

He means 'lunch', middle class people.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Dinner at dinner time,
tea at tea time.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:29, Reply)

I assumed he was posting from moscow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)

Her 'tit' flash in The Hole put me off her, sadly.
The main problem is that unless she was wearing clothes at the time, it'd feel like you were fucking this.

Alt: No idea.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:18, Reply)

Like a bit more meat on the bones eh?
Bit more rolly-poly eh?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Not necessarily, I'm just not interested in skin and bones type girls

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:33, Reply)

I don't care. As long as they're not fat fat.
A woman can be big and maintain a woman's figure. It's when they get blobby that it gets unattractive.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

i think it was a forty shades of shit dig

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:41, Reply)

It was a bells rolling joke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

yes
her website is not called forty shades of shit, but it kind of should be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

i thought she was hot in domino
Alt at least 20
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:19, Reply)

just to put you off your dinner
Blasters don't kill people, rebels kill people:

www.flickr.com/photos/rizwanb/7561475124/

Alt: I'm currently drinking a beer at my desk right now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:20, Reply)

how many people have you boned?
and how many of them post on b3ta?

that would have stirred things up. you should have asked that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Very few
Zero

HAPPY NOW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Everybody would be in single figures
except you, in triples.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:29, Reply)

pfffffft!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:30, Reply)

+t

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:33, Reply)

There was only one Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)

And I definitely haven't fucked him.
I've had that scarecrow but then, who hasn't?
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

I'm just amazed
at how many people from here have carnal knowledge of my mother.
You think you know a person....
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I'm keeping the total amount to myself
And 3.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Totals - around 35
b3ta - None I think! (apart from you darling)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:34, Reply)

I just didn't want to be the first to admit to how many I've slept with altogether
It's around 25 for me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Wanks don't count, even with a pint of mince

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

People, not wanks.
And if you've only wanked 25 times in your life, I'm shocked.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

I'm not
Lot of mirrors in Apey's house
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:40, Reply)

Meant to tell you fella, I'm off to see Avenue Q next week!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

BEST
SHOW

EVER
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Oh, if we're counting wanks
then I've slept with over four thousand people.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

+a day

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Hang on...
You're 31, yes? So you've had approx 200 wanks a year since you worked out how?

BOLLOCKS
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

+ empty and ruined

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Oh Christ, really?
I dread to think what the actual figure is.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

let's say 19 years of wanking
on average 4 times a week = 19 x 52 x 4 = 3,952

allow for frenetic teenage chimpdom plus years of girlfriend and 4,000 is probably about right.

you desperado.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

You have nailed 3 b3tans?
You chubby chaser!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Yes, I have.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Darth, Monty and Bella

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:35, Reply)

I've never met Monty.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Glory hole was it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

No.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

damnit
you've shagged as many b3tans as I have men in general - tart!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)

You've had as many b3tans as I've had women
And you're ten years younger. And nowhere near as handsome.

*kills self*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Yeah but how many men has he had eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:38, Reply)

Depends on your definition
A lot of gay men I know don't do anal, and count anyone they've sucked off as a "shag"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

None.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

none twelvety
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Bella?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Darth's disguise

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:45, Reply)

NOEL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

COWARD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

3,
zero
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Twinsies!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:37, Reply)

ummm
yay?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

To put the above into context
the average adult has had seven sexual partners, according to one half-remembered study I read about once.
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:39, Reply)

not answering my own question
but 3 from b3ta. one good, one ok, one shite. but if you can't even get it in, it's not sex. there's a bright side to every eclipse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:43, Reply)

Coward.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:46, Reply)

Is this a clue? Are you implying Noel is on this list?????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

No, just saying she's a coward for refusing to answer her own question.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)

I WAS MAKING A LOLJOKE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

I KNOW BUT I DECIDED TO RUIN IT HOPE THATS OK WITH YOU

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

NOEL. COWARD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

YES I KNOW WHO NOEL COWARD IS I'M NOT A COMPLETE APE.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:54, Reply)

+R

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

APER? I DONT GET IT

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I THINK IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH NOEL COWARD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

NOEL COWARD DO YOU GET IT????
NOEL. COWARD.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

wasn't he gay?
doesn't sound like my type
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Hahaha

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

I really have no fucking idea. 50?
One.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:47, Reply)

stunned?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:49, Reply)

I was rather. Bit of an age gap and all that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:50, Reply)

50? seriously?
where do people get the time/courage to chat up that many people? Was there a lesson I missed at school?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:51, Reply)

I've never consciously chatted anyone up in my life.
I just act(ed) like a prick and wait for hot chicks to try it on with
me.

EDIT also don't forget I am old.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:52, Reply)

i really don't understand the world

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Me neither.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

re. your edit
I'm about your age, duh
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Are you? You look younger.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:57, Reply)

It's stuff like this
that leaves you dripping in fanny
( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Knee deep in gash, son.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Wading through biff

( Kroney, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Up to my eyeballs in minge.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Hacking through a forest of slit.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:02, Reply)

The Dr Livingstone of muff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

Doing more parting than a busy barber.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

rummaging in the wizards' sleeves

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Hoofing more cloppers than a blacksmith.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Inspecting more axe wounds than an Anglo Saxon army doctor

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:10, Reply)

schmoooooooooooth

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:04, Reply)

I'm 36
I think it's because I act like a young idiot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:03, Reply)

What's it like having sex with a lady?
Putting your winkle in her thingy? Does it hurt?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:20, Reply)

It hurts them, I can tell you. That's more the hammer than the sex bit, though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Spam hammer

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:31, Reply)

Spam Javelin.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:33, Reply)

the slinky sausage

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:34, Reply)

Yorkshire kipperlols.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:40, Reply)

So your still hanging around pookie

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:42, Reply)

Thrice Knightley if I had my way.
And none. I drink cider.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Cider is excellent.
The proper stuff, not that Frosty Jack shit. Weston's Old Rosie is lovely, and Thatcher's Cheddar Valley.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Here's a few more
Kanye West - talking clock
Russell Brand - one of those skeletons you get in doctor's offices that they point to and say "And THIS is what could happen to you if..."
Jamie Oliver - solution to world's fatty meats shortage
Piers Morgan - location for new oil rig
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:35, Reply)

Does that mean we get to burn the excess gass off of Piers Morgan?
When I say 'excess gas', I just mean 'can we burn Piers Morgan'?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Personally I wouldn't, they gotta have some bounce
Celebrities can generally fuck off

alt: none, purity is next to godliness and I treat my body as a temple
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 16:55, Reply)

i can smell your lies all the way over here

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Peter Crouch: Pipe Cleaner
Alt: Oh, some. I'd say about 7.

EDIT: I bloody love me a bit of Kiera Knightly.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 17:00, Reply)