Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning.having major problems with the Northern Line this morning. What are YOU having problems with? And what are you looking forward to or dreading about the week ahead?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 7:53,
219 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Morning MontyI feel really cheated today, I worked quite well on trying to get a hangover yesterday, yet Iām fresh as a daisy.
What's all that about?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:02,
Reply)
Unlucky.I woke up on Saturday morning feeling so poisoned I wanted death to free me from the torment of my on making. You'd have been welcome to it, you should have asked.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:22,
Reply)
I was out from 11am till about 6pm Couldn't be arsed to drink anymore, I'm turning into a right sissy in my old age.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:30,
Reply)
Good morning.Problems with the mentally ill next door neighbour again.
Only thing I will dislike this week is being apart from my family.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:06,
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Something I am an expert on. Still, another successful 6hr access yesterday: Museum of London, out for lunch and then arts & crafts at mine. All jolly good stuff.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:28,
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Excellent. Glad she's continuing to allow access.Another 12 days until I see my kid.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:33,
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No problems monts!just stuffing around studying, but it's not that bad!
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:12, Reply)
I'd like nothing more than to be able to spend my life learning stuff.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:28,
Reply)
me too. I fucking LOVE it.I was saying to my housemate Shauna today that I could spend my whole life as an academic, and be SO happy.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:39, Reply)
Named after Mon, the Sumerian god of spanners, fact fans!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:39,
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Well he does fine workThe least they can do is name a day after him.
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Two Hats š©š©, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:48,
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Not like that cunt Tue.He does nothing other than lie around the house and yet he gets a day just like good old Mon. It's just not fair.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:51,
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Yeah, that prickTuesday's a GREAT one to have. Everyone hates Monday, so Tuesday is Monday's comedown.
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Two Hats š©š©, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:52,
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Good morning, I'm in agony, as my back is knackeredMoving stuff from my flat to a storage unit on Saturday has turned my spine to jelly.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:32,
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Moving house, or home improvements?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:34,
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I'm on the first floor.God I'd love a cellar. Just like BGB's.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:39,
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Me too. The weed farm I would instantly set up would clear my debts in a year.You can get 5k per cubic metre every 16 weeks, with nothing worse than a fine as the worst case bollocking, for a white first offence-r.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:41,
Reply)
However, if you get beheaded by some have-a-go-hero, the police will show no interest.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:44,
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It's a crazy mixed-up world and no mistake!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:46,
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Interest rates are at an all time low.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:47,
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Preparations to move.stage 1: remove superflous stuff drom flat so it can be decorated.
stage 2: decorate
stage 3: put flat on market.
stage 4: resign myself to paying a mortgage until I die.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:38,
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I got a letter telling me that lease extensions in my block (which I desperately need) are rising by £100 a month.Great news - it's something I have no chance of tackling for about 15 years.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:47,
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Morning.I am having problems with a shite window repair company in a way that is far too boring to mention any further.
I'm looking forward to not being vomited on by a one year old and another highly enjoyable band rehearsal on Thursday night.
Everything else is shit.
I'm dreading running out of money before payday.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:36,
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Positively radiant, dear boy.The sun is shining, I'm sitting in an office with my back to the window and I'm in the company of you fine gentlemen.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:42,
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Don't talk to me about windows.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:38,
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I could have done with some triple glazed ones last night to avoid hearing my neighbour shouting in the street for an hour and a half.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:40,
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b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1902015
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:42,
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I'm having major problems with a lack of food to eat for breakfastI am dreading there not being anything to eat in work
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:54,
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I know you live in the north and all thatbut I am fairly certain the crazy new trend called 'shops' has reached you lot by now. You want to try one. Some of them are prepared to give you food - all you have to do is give them some money in return!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:56,
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I'm going to have a bacon & mushroom sandwich in a bit.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:59,
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Two toasted muffins and a cup of coffeeCRITICAL SITUATION : AVERTED
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:00,
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Morning allI'm having problems with my next door neighbour's dogs barking and howling at everything that goes past the front window. This is not an issue in the darker months. However, as mornings get lighter, their howling gets earlier and earlier and, believe me, Japanese Akitas can howl really loudly.
This week I am looking forward to meetings with two German companies and a Swedish one - I am not looking forward to the preparation work I'll have to do beforehand.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 8:59, Reply)
I was forced to visit Ikea yesterday....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:01,
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Did someone hold an allen key to your head?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:03,
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You're not really the working type, eh Cap?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:02,
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Fucking school run mums who can't reverse their fucking chelsea tractors.That they insist on driving down single track roads.
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:01,
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I used to. Wish I did now. Wife doesn't want to move out of London.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:12,
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She a Kilburn girl through an through eh?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:17,
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You've been fucking school run mums eh?Course you have.
Course you have. Save it for QOTW, 'Jimmy Hill'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:07,
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My shoulder is absolutely fuckedbecause I fell off a Segway.
Morning all.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:03, Reply)
By not holding on properly.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:11,
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Morning Darthy(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:09,
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Morning mateBloody hell, eh? The Catholic church must be gutted they didn't bring in Billy
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I heard the Hull game was excellent(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:16,
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Apparently soObviously Boyd was going to score. Still wish we'd bought him
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Well it was the weekend eh?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
Oh no! How are you going to play your bass Ukulele now?
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Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:10,
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You're thinking of the Supreme CrowHe was the resident bender before I turned up. He had floppy hair and played bass. I have ludicrous hair and no musical ability whatsoever. HTH xxx
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:11, Reply)
You're right, he was better than you.Can we have him back.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:13,
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That's a shame.For the people you inflict your DJing on.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:18,
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Pfft, DJing metal doesn't take any skill beyond the reading of a crowdI'm happy to share these trade secrets now that I'm out of the game
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:22, Reply)
I like to mix "Fuck that shit" into "Tears of a whale"such a great juxtaposition
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:24,
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I like to mix "my cock" into "your mum"Juxtaposed with "your dad crywanking"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:27,
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I really don't want to think about your 'trade secrets' but thanks al the same.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:26,
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Thanks for spelling that out NakersI don't think the original post was quite clear enough in its subtle suggestion of bumderism on my part, I think we're all grateful for the clarity you bring the board.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:28, Reply)
I have just been handed one small glimmer of hope, that may shine through the turd of this week and make it all worthwhile.The third test pressing of my album has just been delivered.
I know you are all pretty excited about this news.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:09,
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Of course, if they are no good then I will be plunged into Boyce levels of woe-is-me-ing.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:10,
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FINALLY I'll be able to sleep tonight!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:11,
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Please keep us updated on this amazing piece of news.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:16,
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Work, I just can't be arsed at the moment.Need to do something new and exciting.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:18,
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Move your bin into the middle of your office, then have a shit in it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:20,
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Good plan, especially as I'm in a client's office!Congrats on a successful Sunday
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:20,
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I hear office parkourIs all the rage
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:22,
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I don' have the energy and I forget my wallet so I'm drinking machine coffee :(Still at least I'm not a Cypriot.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:23,
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10% of your savings. Fucking terrible. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:29,
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Doesn't the family Gonz have a villa out there?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:32,
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he definitely has some sort of connections(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:34,
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Because telling people you're going to take a chunk of their savingsis just the thing to prevent a run on the banks. (!)
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:37,
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Oh man thank God I don't llive there or I'd face a bill of, err, nothing.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:47,
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Rape your client.Bonus points if it's a bloke.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:23,
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it's a bird with big tits todaynot that attractive though
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:24,
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Don't sell yourself short, Fogesy old boy.Just pop that collar and turn on the charm - maybe she won't notice that you're not that attractive.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:30,
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Or that you are out of your fucking mind on LSD.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:30,
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Not currently, noI feel it would improve Monday mornings somewhat
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:32,
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You, Sir, are currently legend in casa b3th.Thank you, and that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:38,
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\o/It worked on the DVD player then?
Episode 14 is available to download now
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:44,
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No.Had to HDMI the laptop to the TV. Then I had to download VLC so I could play matroska files. But yes, then it worked. Thank you.
Last night's episode was recorded on Sky + in glorious HD, and will be waiting for us when we finish all these.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:48,
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Ahh, OKI watch it on my tablet
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
Beggars can't be choosersand in the interests of clarity, I am calling you an ugly cunt
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:38, Reply)
Got to the station slightly earlier than normalFelt good until after 6 minutes it was announced that the next H&C train was going to be another 8 minutes. FFS. On the plus side there's more chance than ever before that I might exchange on my flat this week.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:22,
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It's H&C gone mad, I tell you(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:33,
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you should eat more roughage to get your 'northern line' freely flowing again(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:25,
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I bought a pack of croissants today, rather than buying one fresh everydayTurns out the quality in these is rather poor, so I'll go back to buying fresh ones everyday. First world problem, right there.
I'm rather hungover, and very tired. Aside from that, not too bad thanks, had an excellent weekend.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:29,
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do you know how much butter is in one croissant?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:29,
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Still healthier than a breakfast bap.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:31,
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The alternative is eating nothing atm(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:33,
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I don't think you are supposed to put them up your bottom first.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:35,
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ANSWER ME THIS:Living as we do in a world in which a cup of tea on the front of a box of tea has to be described as a āserving suggestionā ā and in which a jar of peanut butter has to announce that it ācontains nutsā ā HOW ON EARTH are āall butter croissantsā permitted EH? Surely āall butterā croissants would have to be simply a lump of butter? I mean EH?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:34,
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Damn those EU bureaucrats!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:36,
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Some are made with a mix of butter and margarine.I'm sure you could have worked this out.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Both styles also contain, I am guessing, flour.THEREFORE they are not in any way ALL butter: I've written to Nigel Farage about this.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:40,
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the part that should be butter IS all butter and not margerinehthxx
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:42,
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I'm afraid not.It's misleading, I am the customer AND I DEMAND SOME KIND OF COMPENSATION.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:43,
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I've always wanted to try tinned croissants(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:36,
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I've had those ones out of a tube, they're shit.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:37,
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I found them in the bin outside Gonz's, I didn't know they did sushi flavour.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:40,
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I made the terrible mistake of buying low fat croissants onceBasically, imagine a croissant that's made with no butter whatsoever.
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Two Hats š©š©, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:40,
Reply)
Samsung galaxy Xcover.It's a beast. I could beat a drug dealer to death with it and then text afterwards.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Don't text the police.They won't be interested.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:42,
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Luckily you could wash the blood off afterwards.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
Isn't it just a galaxy s3 in a mongproof case?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:47,
Reply)
Nah, it's more like a middlerange galaxy.But yeah the mongproof case is why I got it. I've broken too many phones.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Well, to be honest Monty, Today is not so positive.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:45,
Reply)
well, after finding someone had stolen my bike chain on Friday morning, I went to ride to the gym, and someone has kicked the back tire in, making it all wobbly like. And my car is probably not safe to drive until I can weld the panel that stops the driver seat falling through the floor, and the new car I've bought has a flat battery.
I'll tell you what, it's not a great day to be a windee.
I'm gonna have to get on the poor bus, with the horrid people.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
Before you do, go and buy your favourite chocoloate barThen eat it, then carry on with your day. Trust me.
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Two Hats š©š©, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:52,
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I'm totally getting a boost and a can of Fanta. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
I guaran-damn-tee that you will feel much better afterwards(
Two Hats š©š©, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
see above. :((
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:51,
Reply)
poo indeed. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
Breakfast update:Bacon & mushroom sandwich on toasted white bread = WIN.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:46,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1902067
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:47,
Reply)
I had to tell a bunch of kids to stay about from my garden yesterday.I've never felt so middle aged.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:49, Reply)
I'm on shed-findWhat size shed should I get?
What features am I looking for?
Help me shed community, you're my only hope....
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
get one with a secret panel at the back so you can hide all the bondage gear when your neighbour pops around to borrow a shovel. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
But what if I wish to perform bondage with the neighbours?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
You can hide your shovel in there.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
The biggest one you can afford/fit in the garden without causing a divorce.After that it depends if you want storage, workshop, mancave, or a combination of those.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:57, Reply)
My garden is 100' long so I can fit quite a big shed easily enoughIt'll be for all of the above
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:58,
Reply)
Err, gay!!!!When I mention my cock, posting 'mm' afterwards is not perhaps advised.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:13,
Reply)
mm not mmmVery important detail
So stop sending me THOSE pics please
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:16,
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Just don't show it to the girl next door.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
Needs probably min 20-30A electrics with RCDso can safely run a heater as well as other stuff.
And/or a wood-burner. Double doors good too.
Prob is new a 20x10 shed is 1000-1500 quid or so. Ebay etc worth a look if you can get transport.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Mine is 8' x 6'. Should have gone for 10' x 8' with hindsight.Mine is on a self levelling base frame on top of gravel. You could put it on to paving stones.
Worth getting a tongue & groove one rather than lapboard; more durable and better at keeping the moisture at bay.
Double doors make it easier to get large objects in & out.
Windows are a must. I've also got solar powered lighting in mine.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:58,
Reply)
CoolSHED CHAT!
They seem to be fucking expensive though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:01,
Reply)
It's an investment in your sanity.I know mine is.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
I also need to rebuild the greenhouseThe wood is rotten but the brick base and walls are fine, as are the windows. I intend to be growing lots
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:05,
Reply)
simply plant some vines, grow them around the current structure then poison themleaving a natural shell as a greenhouse
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
Try local recycling websitesoften people give away unwanted greenhouses,get a metal one instead?
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)
I'll most likely need a custom one to fit on the bricks(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:13,
Reply)
They were about 7 and wearing superhero costumesbut they threw gravel onto my gravel and told me that smoking was bad for my lungs.
They've probably got 3 asbos already.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:53, Reply)
ha, you live in a shit hole with no fence/broken fence/gate you can't lock/spider children (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 18 Mar 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
I now deam this sarga "Fencegate".(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
I'm wearing new pants todayI like the feeling of wearing new pants for the first time.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
No.I fixed it. Repeated boil washes with soda crystals and now the machines appears to be working better than it did before.
The lesson here is to clean your washing machine every now and then.
(, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:09, Reply)
New thread please.Thanks in advance! x
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Mar 2013, 10:10,
Reply)
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