Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, another shit news thread.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21956748
Apparently we all hate neologisms. What neologism do you hate? My vote goes for 'LOL'.
Alt: What's your fucking problem?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:23,
217 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
What, they're sticking a frozen shit up yoru arse?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:27,
Reply)
Nah, made a complaint.I'm quite happy to justify my actions, but I have to go to a meeting and say why I refused to do 9 1/2 hours worth of work for an action for one meeting.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Are these the same people you were talking about yesterday?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:30,
Reply)
No, but one of the reasons I turned down the work was because I had to deal with those other people.(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Using ANDREW MARR as a dildo?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:27,
Reply)
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:37,
Reply)
Surrendered Paris without a fight?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:38,
Reply)
frozen your poo into the shape of someone else's girlfriend and slept with it?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:40,
Reply)
Still not got a legal job yetMay need to start looking at nonlegal gigs before my dolla runs out :S
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Frisbee OG wanker, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:26,
Reply)
8 cans of Kestrel Super in a morning?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:29,
Reply)
it only goes on your cv if you manage not to throw up (
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
rachelswipe will get you a job. I'll gaz you her number. She's very busy so you'll have to call her repeatedly every day until she sorts you out with a tea making position at her big and serious lawyering firm(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
I'm a big fan of 'It's not what you know, it's who you pester the hell out of'(
Frisbee OG wanker, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:36,
Reply)
she's got a spare room in her ken pad and likes taking people in for the companyplay your cards right and you could be that lucky fella.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:39,
Reply)
don't listen to rory, i fake numbered himif you have no less than A, A, B at a-level, a 2:1 and a commendation or distinction in GDL (if applicable) and LPC, gaz me
but i don't drink tea, so you'll need more skillz than that
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:14,
Reply)
I haven't got the academics but I have a huge tackle. That okay?I'm more of a 9-bar coffee man, myself.
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Frisbee OG wanker, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:58,
Reply)
I don't hate neologisms.Often it is useful to have a new word, y'know like when you need to describe something new.
Alt: Apathy and indolence.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:38,
Reply)
I tend to make up most of my neologisms when I'm in the car.As in, "Nice indicating, tossnugget!".
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:41,
Reply)
I came up with the terms "Dicktits" and "Bitchpipe" under similar circumstances(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:42,
Reply)
'Wee wee tapir' is sure to enter into public consciousness soon.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:44,
Reply)
If I can help to distribute this wonderful phrase, I willI promise I'll use it in the next couple of days.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:50,
Reply)
Bless you Twoso, you truly are a prince among men.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:54,
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I just want to make the world a better place, TangledThat's all
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:55,
Reply)
I usually have to make abrupt U-turns with my language in the car, on account of there being kids present."FUC... RYING OUT LOUD"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
FUCKING HECK(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:12,
Reply)
I just got superb distance on a fag butt I flicked awayThis is comfortably the most interesting thing that's happened to me today
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Not usuallybut I did over the weekend and am just disposing of the remains. Also back off the booze for a bit. Once my body flushes out what's left in my system. Which I suspect is a lot.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Minor cash flow problem = no booze for sportscow(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:45,
Reply)
That is a very bad state of affairs.I suggest putting your wife on the game.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:47,
Reply)
Well you've said you like 'em young...(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
£500 car repairs + £1000 unexpected monies out = beans on toast(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:50,
Reply)
IndeedGood job its not the month where all the double payments come out for mortgages, etc.
Oh wait, I mean the other one.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:53,
Reply)
I have cut the money I give my wife from £4k a month to £2k. She isn't happy.I, on the other hand, am delirious.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:55,
Reply)
what the hell did she spend 4k a month on?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
big frozen poo cocks(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:08,
Reply)
All the house bills, food, fuel, her pension, clothes, social, childcare etc.It was getting out of hand. Made her keep all her receipts for a month & then based a sensible budget on that.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:04,
Reply)
Haha, you give your wife pocket money. I assume she doesn't work?
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Kroney, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:13,
Reply)
You could describe her as a 'working girl'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:15,
Reply)
No she doesn't.This monthly saving means it is easier for me to put money to one side for private school for micro.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:16,
Reply)
she might get a scholarshipif i ever had kids, this would be where my hopes were pinned.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:18,
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Aren't most scholarships means tested?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:19,
Reply)
I'm hoping mine gets one.Her school have already designated her 'gifted' so fingers crossed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:25,
Reply)
No they said 'special', not 'gifted'.SEN lols.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
no, that's a bursary from the individual school, i thinkthe one i won was from the bank where my dad worked - there were 25 scholarships a year available. i was 7 at the time, so i got 11 years out of it, bargain.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
So four grand on household costs not covering childcare or a mortgageyou've bin rinsed. Even 2k is a joke. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
It does include childcare. Which is fucking expensive in London.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:22,
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Why do you need childcare if she doesn't work?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:24,
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Actually ... yeah, fucking this.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:26,
Reply)
If your wife don't work, then having childcare seems somewhat 'frivolous'I know her rents stumped up the sponds FOR A CASH PURCHASE on teh flat, but really it's taking the piss
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:25,
Reply)
She's entitled to a break for a few hours a week, particularly when I'm working away and unable to help out.We aren't stupid with money; no cleaner or gardener - I got rid of both last year.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:27,
Reply)
i bloody love having a cleaner thoughor i would if the current one weren't a bit shit. she's amazing at re-arranging cushions, not so good at actually cleaning.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
The big problem with cleaners is that they are all a bit shit.But then, that's probably how they ended up being cleaners.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:30,
Reply)
That, and they nick passports, jewellery and bank details**may just be my experience, may not apply to all cleaners.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:32,
Reply)
My cleaner is fucking brilliant(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
i think this is my third from this agencythe first two were brilliant. this one sucks. but she leaves me notes that say things like "hi swipe, hope you like my work!!!!!!!!!!!!" and i'm too soft to say "NO, IT SUCKS"
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:33,
Reply)
yeah, but "a few hours a week" should be a couple of hundred quid a month even in London.not a thousand, surely?
Also, she's not "entiteled" to anything. You can afford for her to have a few hours break. There's a chasm of difference.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:31,
Reply)
6 hours a week @ £15 ph = £360 a month.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:32,
Reply)
Fucking hell.I'll be paying less than £500 a month to put minibadger into one of the best private nurseries in Edinburgh for 3 days a week.
I take it that's a childminder? why not use a nursery?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:34,
Reply)
She's 19 months. The decent nurseries around here won't take kids under 2.She's starting at one in September; £2.5k a term.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
Sorry, what the actual fuck?Nurseries start from about 4 months old in normal civilised society.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:36,
Reply)
I have plenty of friends with kids in Londonif anything, London nurseries take kids earlier, what with it being a fuck sight harder to survive on one salary in london.
a place that won't take kids til they are 2 isn't a nursery, it's a preschool.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:39,
Reply)
Montessori doesn't. Well, the ones around us don't.Plus I wouldn't want micro in nursery too young. She does lots of other activities though; song classes, swimming lessons etc. Starting Spanish classes soon.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
Right..... Montessori are schools though. I totally appreciate that your child's upbringing is a personal choice, personally I just don't understand why you don't want her mixing with other children too young but paying more money to spend time with a strange adult is OK.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
sorry, just to be cleargoing totally against the tradition of b3ta here, I'm not saying I think you're wrong. I'm not sure there is a "wrong" about this. Just my thoughts.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
it's up to every couple how they choose to split work/life etcbut personally there is no way i could take cash from my husband without doing something, even a few hours a week.
"happy birthday darling, here's a shirt. you paid for it, but..."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
A couple of hours a week, if that is the case is negligible on a budget of 2-4k per month. Therefore coming back to my original point, you have as much a grasp on the household budget as the Zimbabwean minister of finance does(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:32,
Reply)
We spend far too much on food; £500 a month. This is my fault as I like to eat well.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:33,
Reply)
There's still about £2k unaccounted for.Which, in fairness, you seem to have identified.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1921176
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:39,
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We're quibbling at this stage when the 'entertainment' budget of booze must clock in nearing a grand anyway(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:36,
Reply)
That comes out of my budget. Only fair, she hardly drinks. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
Plus I pay her pension, medical insurance etc.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:28,
Reply)
Costs my brother 2.5k for his two.yet another reason not to bloody live there.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:26,
Reply)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:28,
Reply)
Condoms are shite contraceptives.Pill or GTFO.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:31,
Reply)
i think, i thinkit MIGHT be that he has a "girlfriend"? any excuse to crowbar that in, you know this.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I imagine he was using the American definition of teh phrase.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:42,
Reply)
Keanu ReevesAlt:
I do not have a problem. I have coffee and Pavlova
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:40,
Reply)
\o/It it fucking epic. Lemon curd and mini eggs on top too!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:45,
Reply)
You what?That does sound good. Mini eggs are wasted on children. As is most chocolate, actually.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
GuylinerIts fucking eyeliner it doesn't matter if its on a man or woman, if I put it on a pig would if become Styliner?
Alt. I want my icons thats my fucking problem!
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Peej, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:47,
Reply)
where are my fucking icons ?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
you seem to lack a basic understanding of how stuff on the screen appears and stuff. Oh beff, how did you ever teach those kids anything at all I wonder(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:51,
Reply)
It's all to do with ones and zeros isn't it?And there's some pixies in there too.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:53,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1921185
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:18,
Reply)
For blindingly obvious reasons I enjoy the term "guyliner"Also "manscaping"
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:52, Reply)
The practice of plucking one's eyebrows, waxing, mani/pedi etcBasically stuff that only girls are supposed to do, but for blokes
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I don't go anywhere without my strapon bleeding fanny(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:05,
Reply)
Oh man *I* want a strapon Alan Sugar now(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:08,
Reply)
you just want to point the knurled calloused clit at someone and tell them they're fired(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:09,
Reply)
It's like you can see into my mind.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:11,
Reply)
What's Al (I get to call him that) done to wind you up?Or are you just bored?
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Look I have been known to wear eyeliner at timesBut I never called it guyliner
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Peej, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:55,
Reply)
That was sillyCalling it guyliner makes it all masculine and not gay.
You bender.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'm with Philly on thisI have worn copious makup at times, but it was what it was, calling it guyliner only makes it gayer.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:07,
Reply)
I have beaten up a tedious homosexual, yes. What of it?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:19,
Reply)
Have you fuckI bet you couldn't knock seven shades of shit out of a great big pile of poo consisting of between six and eight different colours
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Red and yellow and pink and brownBrown and brown and brown
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:31,
Reply)
Red and yellow might be valid colours of poo -albeit suggesting a serious medical condition - but pink?
Strawberry yoghurt enema?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:50,
Reply)
I thought you had your icons?Is Darth Vader not one of the new icons?
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Ideation.An American neologism for 'brainstorming' (which is bad enough in itself).
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:54,
Reply)
What the fuck kind of word is that?*shakes fist at screen*
Mahooooooooooneeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!!!!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:54,
Reply)
Merriam-Webster saysFirst Known Use of IDEATION: 1818
Stretching the definition of a neologism somewhat.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:32,
Reply)
Yeah, the OED has no problem with this word either.Another one who has had an expensive education wasted on them.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I came across the term 'Difficultize' yesterday. It wasn't even being used ironicallyI also had to explain (to a 'merkin') that 'laser' has no z in it. He still maintains that 'lazer' is the American spelling.
Alt: There are no problems, just opportunities for creative solutions.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1921098
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
'Did he understand the word 'mnemonic'?'If he's dumb enough not to understand that 'laser' comes from 'Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation' - even after I patiently explained it several times*, he's too dumb to understand a word that begins with two consonants.
*Should've used a hammer. Mind you, at one time he was adamant that Led Zeppelin were an American band. They let these people vote and breed y'know.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)
I have made a monumental amount of soupfor £5
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:19,
Reply)
I have made a monumental amount of poop(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:26,
Reply)
so will he after that soup is more than 24 hours old(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:27,
Reply)
Get to fuckProper broth tastes better after a day, as does chilli and curry
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:31,
Reply)
As does your mum's kippery gash(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:37,
Reply)
Mine still needs a minute in the microwave first though.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
Proper broth with ham hock, lentils and sweet potato(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:37,
Reply)
Not youAnd whilst that does mostly sound good, I'm not a fan of lentils
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:42,
Reply)
I had faggots last nightand will again tonight as there were 4 in the pack.
I'm going to get some proper ones from a proper butcher next time, nothing against Mr Brain but they were a smidge on the bland side.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
Ah, "popular" entertainment.(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
@LightyI too, feel that Mr Brains' finest have certainly lost some of their flavour.
(, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:53, Reply)
I think this thread contains more than enough auditing of my finances, so would someone please start a new thread?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
I'll tell you what my problem isThe cheeky bitch that complained to HR has called up asking for my help.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:46,
Reply)
what did she complain about you doing?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:49,
Reply)
it's funny when they think ATM is a cash machine.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:51,
Reply)
no-one complains about analMumsnet told me.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:50,
Reply)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1570367-Tried-anal-sex-underwhelmed-am-I-missing-something-here
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
Best comment:
'Be prepared for the following morning being like an enema nightmare if he cums '
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
Oh, I saythat's textbook.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
Short version is she needed an external access account setting up.Sent the paperwork through Thursday midday. It got done yesterday afternoon. She had obviously left it to the last minute to do something or another and tried to use me as a scapegoat as to why she hadn't done it. Complained to HR. I'm in the clear as my boss agrees that, given the circumstances, the request was handled as quickly as could be expected.
Then she calls up all nice as pie asking for me because she wanted my help. Fuck that.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
Oh dear.daft cow.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Apr 2013, 12:00,
Reply)
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