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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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OK OK so it turns out Bazooka pills don't make your penis bigger.
What else is a lie?

Alt: what's true?
It seems it's certainly true what they (by which I mean 'I') say about computer bods: metro.co.uk/2013/08/07/man-jailed-for-vicious-attack-on-four-year-old-boy-who-sighed-during-doctor-who-episode-3914948/
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:40, 225 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Your vow NOT TO FUCKING STOMP

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:41, Reply)
There are no facts - all "knowledge" is merely strongly-held belief. That's a fact.
I haven't had an alcoholic drink since Sunday, either.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:43, Reply)
*thinks*
I had beer on Saturday and two pints yesterday lunchtime
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:44, Reply)
I'm drunk right now!
lol
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Arg - lunchtime drinking.
"One's too many; two's not enough."
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:53, Reply)
^this^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Amateur.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:45, Reply)
In that case, I have a strongly-held belief that you are a raving bender.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:50, Reply)
I have a strongly-held belief that
YM.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Yeah, well......well FUCK OFF, YEAH????

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Aren't all those expensive skin creams all bollocks too?
It's just snake oil, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Ever seen a snake with
bags under its eyes?
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:46, Reply)
That's true

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)
not sure
i think your skin is mostly genetic, but you can help by things like not smoking, taking make-up off at night etc. i've been using anti-wrinkle cream since i was 13 (my mother thought i was mental) and i can honestly say that i have better skin than nearly all my friends the same age and no wrinkles.

but it could also be not having kids so therefore no broken nights' sleep and a bit of fat pushing out the wrinkles, who knows.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:48, Reply)
also where is the lovely badger
i could do a nice bit of badger baiting on the value of expensive anti-wrinkle creams, i reckon...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:49, Reply)
You should read Bad Science ben Ben Goldacre
Essentially all claims made by moisturisers about the special extra ingredients are nothing but lies and the only difference between brands is the different levels of greasiness that they leave behind.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
i've been using clarins, which is middle of the range price, for years
and i'm v happy with my skin. if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Very revealing book.
Haven't read Bad Pharma yet but will soon.
I think it's about sheep shagging.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)
You look like a rhino with a ginger wig.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:50, Reply)
and yet i still wouldn't sleep with you if i made a fake vagina out of a leper's stomach and let you stick it in there

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:51, Reply)
I'd rather fuck Stunned than get within 5 metres of your fetid minge.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:52, Reply)
*golf claps all round*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
you've met rapeyrape
so you know how low my standards have dropped in the past.

and yet i'd still turn you down.

you might as well kill yourself now.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
YOU FUCKED CHOMPY?!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)
i don't count it in my magic number, no

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:04, Reply)
But you fucked Chompy, yes?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)
to answer that i'd have to go into technical detail
the likes of which would scar you to your very soul
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
I think technically the penetration needs to break the one inch barrier to count

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Shit
Does that mean I am still a virgin, or does only count if you are the penetrated not the penetrator
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)
There'll never be a need to turn me down, as I wouldn't want to go near you in the first place.
I have an aversion to fat northern ginger bints with excessively poor body odour and a labia that could be used for windsurfing.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)
This is why I log on here ^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
you know he's at the vinegar strokes just picturing it
little face all red and sweaty, tongue protuding from his spit-flecked lips, right hand frantically flogging his half flaccid pudding...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I'd rather slice my penis off.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)

let's face it, it's not like you use it for anything other than typing on here.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
HTH
www.cgarsltd.co.uk/round-chromegun-metal-double-blade-cutter-p-3651.html?gclid=CLjj1LTN7bgCFcJc3godMTMASg
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Goodness me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)
i might bring one to the next bash anyway
for the lols
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Looking after your skin from a young age is one thing
But a lot of these products claim to be able to turn back time...which can't be true, can it? It might make your skin nice and soft, but it won't give you the skin of a 20 year old if you're pushing 60.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I find a nice sharp scalpel works

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)
+ applied to the wrists

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
For getting the skin of a 20 year old

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Remember kids: 'down the lane, not across the tracks'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Actually you're wrong.
I rubbed some Regeneris Hydroknob-5 cream on my bonce last night - before I know it, I was in the Middle Ages.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)
The Middle Ages. Also known as the Trewgory Tree Fayre of 1989.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I once drank so much I turned into a neanderthal
Sort of the same thing, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:07, Reply)
'once', yeah?
Course, mate, course.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:20, Reply)
:(
*strokes pronounced forehead*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Not *all* bollocks, no - there are some manky pissflaps in some of them, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Isn't there some beauty product that's made from baby foreskins or something?
Or maybe I dreamed it, and I've just given you a terrifying peek into my psyche.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)
OK. Sure. Right.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Oh man
I am NOT doing well today :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:41, Reply)
I think there was ONE that was proved to have some kind of effect
but the rest are mostly just 'moisturiser'.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:07, Reply)
there was
it was a boots no 7 own-brand. every boots in the country sold out within seconds, it was ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Don't knock it.
I sold a load of that shit on eBay to Americans.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
the comments after that article are gold
Everything from the ironic "I'D KILL HIM" comments, to "Well I like Dr Who and would hate to be interrupted"
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:47, Reply)
MAN HAS NEVER LANDED ON THE MOON.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:48, Reply)
This theory is overreacted.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Infidel.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:52, Reply)
kubrick
I've already said too much
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Innit bruv.
* taps side of nose *
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Show your working

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Battered doesnt work
Do keep up Sporters.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)
oh piss

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Erm, I do work.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)
YOU'RE

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I'M?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:58, Reply)
I can't believe you still think this.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)
So what you're saying is that people that enjoy sci fi
Are psychotic nutters with no real sense of reality?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:54, Reply)
+ bent

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Yes I am.
+ no social skills, halitosis and an egg-stained Simpson's tie that says 'D'oh' on it. And Wallace and Gromit socks. And no girlfriend. And a Red Dwarf box set - but hey!!! Being a 'geek' is cool these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)
oh yeah, + bent - thanks mate!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:04, Reply)
It's you and me against the world monts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)
and me
i'm in the gaming haters camp too
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Come on in, the water's fine, if a little murky

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Oh. Great.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:10, Reply)
dr who is shit
i've never seen it, so i am totally qualified to make this statement.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:55, Reply)
You're shit!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)
It really is shit and for children

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:59, Reply)
For shit children at that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I hope your child develops a love for Twilight.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:02, Reply)
ouch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Or brings home a Larp prick whom she will declare to be
her 'Soulmate'.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I won't let her

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I didn't realise you had that much influence over Monty's kid.
Are you grooming her?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)
You're either Monty's ex or creepy as fuck

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I think we all know the answer to that one.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
i fail to see why this couldn't be the same person

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Good luck with that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Has Sportscalf senior declared her love for boybands already?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
My kid claims to like '1D'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Mwah hah hah haaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Guarantee she'll have her first vajazzle by the time she's sixteen.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:10, Reply)
+ stone

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Isn't that your dealer's flat number?
ITHANKYEW
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:11, Reply)
POW!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Mine too
She likes two songs of theirs
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Well with you as her dad she's probably never seen a five pound note

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Dammit.
I had to click that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)
very good sir

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:13, Reply)
that's fantastic, truly.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)
There was actually a '1D' shop open in Leeds, after they renovated the place
Thankfully it fucked off after 3 weeks, but it was bizarre seeing it on opening day.

Was even worse hearing the kids talking about which of them they 'loved the most', FFS. Most difficult wank I've ever had.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:42, Reply)
officelol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:43, Reply)
I wonder whose merchandise sells out quickest and whose sits on the shelf collectiong dust
How depressing would it be to go in there and find hundreds of things with your face on, unsold.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:55, Reply)
My personalised range of
fanny wipes with my face on didn't sell well
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)
People are so picky

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:10, Reply)
But I was smiling an everything

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:23, Reply)
like browsing the sex offenders register

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)
This post looks really weird...
Thought you were talking me b3ffy
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I see.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)
I've never watched it either
but I have a couple of friends who are huge fans, and even they say that they should stop focussing so much on who's going to be in it, and bit more on writing good stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:04, Reply)

bit more on writing good stories go outside occasionally
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:10, Reply)
While I agree with you in principal
I myself do not leave the house nearly as often as I should.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)
It's all about the principal.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)
it sure is

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:30, Reply)
this is one of my most loathed typos just because it happens so often in legal correspondence
see also effect and affect
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:45, Reply)
wow

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:50, Reply)
I do watch it, and this is definitely true.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:43, Reply)
My son likes it when they have daleks on it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:44, Reply)
Your missus likes it when I paint her box blue

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)
It is deceptively large on the inside.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:05, Reply)
Proper office laugh
*doffs cap*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)
Still I am willing to bet 2 things
1) he wont sigh during a programme that adults are watching, again.
2) he doesn't like Dr Who anymore
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I don't want to know how you've come to that first conclusion monts.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I ate 50 of them and...nothing.
When I complained, they told me I already WAS the world's biggest penis and hung up on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Dining room table lols

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:10, Reply)
Well you know they're right Monty.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:17, Reply)
QOTW vote:
b3ta.com/board/10992605
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)
^ MOD ass-kisser^

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:11, Reply)
^ complete and utter homosexual ^

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:13, Reply)
No sense in not fully committing to these things.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:28, Reply)
Hahahah
They used one of mine. The one about exposing yourself in public. Hahah, I got stepped for those.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)
the cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:16, Reply)
if that gets chosen I'll be so happy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:19, Reply)
goes to click
Lets get it done
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:21, Reply)
I clicked it

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:34, Reply)
I clicked it!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:21, Reply)
thank you everyone
I love you all x
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)
You'd better have a fucking good story at the end of all this.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:30, Reply)
I'm not expected to contribute, surely?
I've worked hard enough on suggestions
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:39, Reply)
you lazy shite

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:52, Reply)
It's not so much laziness
It's more that I've don't have any relevant stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:53, Reply)
Clicked.
61%- 33% now.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:14, Reply)
I do hope that all you people voting for this have a relevant story to post when it wins.
Or at the very least will post a message explaining that you only voted because you wanted Two Hats to win.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I don't really
The truth is I don't particularly care one way or the other.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:19, Reply)
I voted for the irony of THs having his
subject chosen after getting stepped for suggesting it.
And of course I've been naked.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:25, Reply)
The cake is a lie.
Alt: What, indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:03, Reply)
"Have a nice day" is a lie
Never had one yet.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:04, Reply)
emo

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)

e ho
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Textbook.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:13, Reply)
"I won't come in your mouth"
Alt: Beauty. That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:18, Reply)
I've never understood this
Its the equivalent of chewing your food and then not swallowing it
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:20, Reply)
If your missus is chewing
then sorry to tell you but she is doing it wrong...


*well on you anyway, with me she is like a henry hoover*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:22, Reply)

hoover Kelly
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:24, Reply)
What am I
slurp
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)
+ doing with my life

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Nah, it's a poem by Keats.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)
Look I said sorry, FFS, let it go.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)
It was a shock, ok?
I mean, I didn't mind paying for the pizza, but when I agreed to meet you for awkward, furtive internet sex, I wasn't expecting that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)
sorry, folks
I don't think it's fair to abuse Chompy's missus who's done nothing to anyone and is really very sound indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Bollocks.
However it's fine for certain other posters to have made comments about my (soon to be ex) wife?

Chompy has said himself his missus is a stripper, which is a type of sex worker.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:02, Reply)
No that wasn't fine either - you didn't like it, and you objected and fair enough.
I've overstepped the mark myself shitloads of times so I'm not judging, but given the ability to remove part of the thread and leave the rest intact I've done it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Chompy didn't object, he just put me on 2.0.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:09, Reply)
He has requested before that people leave his girlfriend out of any arguments they have with him.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:10, Reply)
I don't have any argument with him.Just stating some facts.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:12, Reply)
You do now.
2.0 is about more than ignoring, it's a declaration that you are now internet foes.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Oh no!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:17, Reply)
That's true I s'pose
*shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:10, Reply)
Hang on if I am not allowed to make lewd jokes about other peoples
Wives/ girlfriends or boyfriends I am all out of material
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:19, Reply)
YEAH THATS JUST WHAT YOUR WIFE SAID!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I don't get this.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)
hahahaha
I have just had someone staring at me through the window as I had a chuckle fit at that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:22, Reply)
This is why I don't watch Dr Who with anyone.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Not because it's shit and for children?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:48, Reply)
It's a deep metaphor for modern life.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Can't be as shite at BSG
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Not even in my top ten French teams

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Ooo cryptic like it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:04, Reply)
BSG is the best Sci Fi show of a generation

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:11, Reply)
Has the whole 'Monty pissed in The Sun' bindun?
Can't be bothered to trawl through the threads

kthxbai
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Yup!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2042166
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:49, Reply)
Never fails me, this site

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Ha ha .
Chompy's put me on 2.0.

Wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Just because you said his girlfriend is a sex worker?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:03, Reply)
I think this may be the case.
I may have also said that I don't think property is the only thing he's renting.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:04, Reply)
You don't mean he gets his telly from
Radio Rentals do you?

*let's go mental with Radio Rentals! *
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)
No Jeff. I don't.
I'm saying he possibly pays her for sexual services.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:08, Reply)
'just stating some facts' eh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:13, Reply)
I've said he possibly does, I'm not claiming he definitely does.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)
If something's "possible", it doesn't make it a "fact".

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:19, Reply)
No but it's possibly a fact.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:28, Reply)
It's a lol from me

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:07, Reply)
Have you deleted?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Alt: The fuck?!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 11:40, Reply)
I've apparently written "clay birds" on my calendar on one day in September
What does this mean? I have no memory of writing it.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:09, Reply)
Which day in September?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:14, Reply)
Actually, it's written at the top, so no specific date
Clay Birds? Like I'm not sure about them. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:20, Reply)
Are you Jewish
and about to bring a female Golum to life for some sexy time?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Hey, it might be that
Is that something I could do? Is it easy? Where's Gonz when you need him?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:26, Reply)
He will be shitting his ring out somewhere

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:29, Reply)
You're taking Muhammad Ali's wife and daughter out to dinner?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:14, Reply)
If indeed that is his real name.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Mama named him Clay, Imma call him Clay

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)
Sure it's not flay?

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:18, Reply)
positive

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:21, Reply)
This isn't something to do with your birdwatching friend, is it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:22, Reply)
No, I don't think so
Good suggestion though
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Well, stay safe out there, whatever it means.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Thanks babe
I'm a little worried I've forgotten something important
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:26, Reply)
We'll get to the bottom of this in my NEW THREAD

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Are you going shooting?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:25, Reply)
I don't think so
I'd remember organising that.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Oh God, Twoey, I don't know, I'm not your mum.
Ah'm oot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Some kind of fancy casserole dishes
you're buying from Lakeland?
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 12:30, Reply)

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