Bored of that.
Right, so this is apparently the list of stuff those two drugs smugglers asked the Daily Mail to bring for them:

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/22/article-2397844-1B658BF1000005DC-856_634x419.jpg

i.huffpost.com/gen/1312261/thumbs/o-PERU-570.jpg

What would you ask the Daily Mail to bring you if you were banged up in a Peruvian prison? Aside from a rock hammer and a poster of Raquel Welch, obviously.

Alt: Lunch?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:41, 211 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright Gormo
A rolled up note
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Alright

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:43, Reply)

rolled up from my mum(s) excusing me from prison
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Two rock hammers
and two Posters of Raquel Welch \o/

MMMMmmmmmmmm orange and green flavoured pot noodles
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:43, Reply)

*has been known to locate certain items from time to time*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Frank did come out with the odd good ones, here's one of my favourites
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1875074
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:07, Reply)

A kindle & charger, with an unlimited free Amazon account.
At least I could read to pass the time.

Also; a cider press and an endless supply of apples.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Bit extreme with your skillz
you would have tunnelled out by lunch time
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:54, Reply)

ahhahaah

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:58, Reply)

\o/ I just knew someone would get this

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Hells bells

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Soz Twoey not very practical

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:52, Reply)

But imagine the noise!
I'd be IMPOSSIBLE to ignore!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:52, Reply)

BONG

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:53, Reply)

LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME
EVERYBODY LISTEN AND LOOK AT ME!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:54, Reply)

You could like do the Peruvian News at 10 and everything

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

The 10 O Clock News with Sir Twohats McDonald

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:56, Reply)

Ohhh man I could be like your side kick as Andrew Hartley
or at least get to dress up as Angela Rippon
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Well you've got the legs for it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:19, Reply)

:( no, no I haven't
legs and arse is Kroneys Dept.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Ipad and a copy of Razzle
Alt: was going to greggs for pies and sausage rolls but it was raining so I mugged it off and went to the cafe for a bacon roll and a can of lilt.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:51, Reply)

Totally Topical

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:52, Reply)

I always remember the advert where the guy said
'Oh mon, it's total gridlock!'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

I don't like Greggs.
It's like a pie shop for people who don't like pies.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

I wasn't really going there
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:56, Reply)

It's like a pie shop for people who don't like pies
ever since Swipe had him
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I'd ask them to bring a lawyer that could get me out of a fucking peruvian jail
Hair removal cream, for fucks sake. THIS is why women aren't in charge.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:53, Reply)

32FF tits apparently.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I'm guessing they told her this would be printed in a newspaper
but she assumed it would be a red-top.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

or Heat

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Fucking Fantastic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:27, Reply)

fucking hell

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:54, Reply)

orange and green flavour pot noodle?
those bloody idiots
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:55, Reply)

I'm glad they got put away
Much less chance of them breeding and creating more vapid cunts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:57, Reply)

You know, I haven't clicked either link,
But from seeing the 2 of them I'm imagining the sort of list you see in the trolley of a single mother of 3 babies from different dad's shopping at Aldi to take back to her council house on a slum estate.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:05, Reply)

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head, Findus

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:06, Reply)

Have either them asked for Crotchless panties?
Let's all have a good laugh at the poor uneducated class shall we? Maybe we should get some TV shows that appears to openly mock them, but is tarted up to look like a sympathetic documentary?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:08, Reply)

One of them will be on a shit 'celebrity' reality show if they get off with it.
Which they won't
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:13, Reply)

They asked for Veet
I'm not sure they know what prison actually is
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I haven't really followed this article much,
Are they looking at serious jail time?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Yep
Their story is they were forced at gunpoint to carry by gang members.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Which is actually pretty believable.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

They look pretty calm on the holiday snaps that were released.
Also said that they had to feign happiness.

Who knows. The truth will out.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Well hmmmm yes and no
It is believable that they are stupid enough to think they were being watched the whole way etc.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:55, Reply)

gotta keep the old leg hair down while serving 30 years for smuggling mate.

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Hay there Weepee
how are the Polish lesson coming on?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Much better since he started using Mr Sheen

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:41, Reply)

tell you what
I read that back and I could do with some fucking English lessons and no mistaking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Yep I said that ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Yeah, everyone knows it's all about the bombay badboy.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 13:58, Reply)

have you ever tried one of those?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:00, Reply)

I have, yes.
The taste of flavourless hotness masks all the other shit.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:04, Reply)

I love a Pot Noodle now and again.
The trick is to add more condiments
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:12, Reply)

you sir are a wrongun
But you already know that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I normally eat fresh every day
but you gotta eat a bit stodge and beige food now and again.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

I want a big bottle of strawberry yoghurt

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

I'd like a little parrot to be friends with.
I've just heard on the radio that Bradley Manning is a transsexual. Called Shirley.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:04, Reply)

That Manning is a strange little fellow.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:06, Reply)

He's a filthy criminal. The radio told me so.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:06, Reply)

He is an enemy of 'Merica and should have been shot.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:08, Reply)

And a dead fat stand up
Now Take my mother in law... pakis eh
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

*Chelsea
Also, France wants to exert force on Syria if they have been using chemical weapons?

The news is fucked up, yo.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:48, Reply)

32ff?!
I'm no tit expert but no way are either of those above a c.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:04, Reply)

and I wouldn't get anything from The Heil.
They hate my kind. I would have been hung, drawn and quartered already.

Hateful slags.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:06, Reply)

Well, you are a Gay, and you know, the sort of people that read the heil generally hate anyone that doesn't live on their arm of the estate.
Headline would have been "evil bum lord smuggles bum drugs in his bum for evil bum terrorists boo Gay bum lord boo."
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:10, Reply)

All headlines should be thus for always.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:12, Reply)

The comments sections always raise a giggle though.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:15, Reply)

and has brought down house prices through bumming

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:25, Reply)

most women think they are bigger than they are
Its the tit equivalent of cock size...
they also wear the wrong size boulder holder, whereas us chaps cant wear the wrong size pants
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

I have a shocking level of ignorance about female clothing
in that it's not shocking because I don't care about female clothing, but I think cup size has more to do with overall volume of jubbly as opposed to said jubbly's z axis spacial penetration. A lady with a wider Y axis and a shallower Z axis will be a similar cup size to a woman of reverse proportions.

Perplexing.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

East West Breast

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

^ SCIENCE ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Cup size is essentially
the differential between the measurement round the back and across the nipple to the measurement around the back and under the boobie... the difference will give you the cup size.

I has a pretty uncanny ability to tell a womens size at a glance, which isn't in anyway creepy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

s'easy, just get a sheepdog bra
it rounds them up and points them in the right direction.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

*polite applause* and a click.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:43, Reply)

This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure for them: you'll have to be castrated." The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear the pain. But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the poor fellow was driven back to the doctor. "All right, I guess I'll have the operation," he said. When it was all over, the man was understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you begin life anew. Start over from this point." So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit, looks like you take about a 38-regular." "That's right," exclaimed the man, "How'd you know?" "Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get pretty good at sizing a man up," replied the salesman. "Now, for a shirt, looks like about a 15 long." "Right again," the man said. The proprietor suggested, "And for undershorts, I'd say a size 36." "There's your first mistake," the man said, "I've worn 34's for years." "No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one," said the owner. The man replied, "I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and I'll take 34." The owner replied, "Well all right, if you insist, but they're going to pinch your balls and give you headaches!!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:36, Reply)

That's alright, Enzyme doesn't regret this decision in the slightest.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:39, Reply)

Cocaine
Strong lager
Weed

Alt:
Some mexican tortillas with refried beans and chipotle chicken
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:26, Reply)

That's all they feed you in peruvian jails
Alt: needs MOAR peroni
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

I had San Miguel

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:28, Reply)

n m
guel tchell MOAR like

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Mitchell_(footballer)

Yes I am calling you a massive bender
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

I thought that was an Eastenders character

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Yeah,yeah stop trying to change the subject
pinky pink pants
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I'll fucking bum you in a minute
No, wait....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:33, Reply)

*skips off into the sunset*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:35, Reply)

to the sunset a circle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:43, Reply)

I'm glad you corrected this, it just didn't seem *right*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Next time he's having it with Miguel

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:31, Reply)

Alt
I pushed the boat out today, and had a couple of extra strong mints with my 2 cigs and coffee
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:30, Reply)

woah

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Steady on, you don't want to get fat.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:32, Reply)

I NO RITE
I just don't get hungry at work.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

I do at the moment, because I'm bored as there isn't enough to do.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:38, Reply)

Have you tried killing those around you with a hammer?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:43, Reply)

*makes notes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Not since the last time. I lost my job over 'The Incident'.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:47, Reply)

A large sombrero and a hand-woven poncho. Imma sleep for the whole sentence.

Alt. some pepperoni and chimichurri olives. Lots of tea.

313 for 4.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:37, Reply)

350/6

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:39, Reply)

got a new thread over on /talk, you're all welcome to come and join in
b3ta.com/talk
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Get Fucked
You are Frank aren't you?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:45, Reply)

on /talk everyone is frank

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah cool, I'll swap from a moribund board
to one that's moving half again as slowly. Sounds good.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:51, Reply)

cool, see you there

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 14:56, Reply)

Aw fuckin ell.
I cannot get another mortgage for about 3 years after paying off me IVA.

Do I

1) rent for 3 yrs and throw more than 30k away in rent paying off someone else's morgage
2) buy a flat somewhere outright with my cash (90-120k) and rent it out thus offsetting the amount thrown away in rent
3) buy somewhere in Lusty's name and milk the 1st time buyer incentives out there
4) dunno, soz

What say you, internet spazmoes and self-appointed financial experts???
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:16, Reply)

4 YESSSS!!!!!!!!!1

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Thank you for your invaluable input at this difficult time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Pleasure.
In reality, I'd go with 2.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:20, Reply)

Lateral thinking here Monters...
5) move in with your mum(s).

Seriously though, assuming that Lusty isn't going to run off anytime soon (she may eventually cave in to Gonz's advances - we all do eventually) then I'd go with 3).
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:22, Reply)

combination of 1 and 3, i reckon
so long as your capital/deposit is locked up really safely, a couple of years renting will fly by, and won't make any difference in the long run - it's not as if you're trying to get a mortgage at 70.

but would be worth checking out what's out there and doing it in lusty's name, chat with the broker to see if your income could be taken into account.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:22, Reply)

I would say 2.
Where will you be living in the meantime?
Not sure of your plans, soz.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:22, Reply)

I was originally going to say 3 but don't know about your relationship.
In other words, just ignore me, and thanks for your time.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Just say 4!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Grange hilzzzzzzzz

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Poor Zammo.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:27, Reply)

why is there no 6) pretend to be a cow and live rent free on a farm

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:33, Reply)

^ this ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Blow the cash on wine, women and song

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Another thing to consider
being not in debt for the first time in decades may fundamentally change your personality and cause Lusty to dump you.

Y'know, just to put a cheery face on it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:30, Reply)

Lets just hope she burns through his money first...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:32, Reply)

as others have said
A combo of 1 and 3...

I hate the way people think of renting as throwing money away, it really isn't. While you may not own the property as long as you look at somewhere that doesn't cost anymore than your current repayment then you maintain your capital.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:30, Reply)

yeah but growth is better than treading water
I've trebled my money on my current place in 11 years
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:33, Reply)

While I agree to a certain extent
It is a very odd British attitude toward renting that the rest of the world just doesn't have, certainly for city living, You would only be doing it in the short term and would be able to invest the capital sum into a decent scheme so your money would/ should still grow
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

...by about £200 a year

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:27, Reply)

is that growth
YES IT FUCKING IS... I didn't say by how much did I.

I will accept your full written and humble apology
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Not 2
I can't imagine where you'd get somewhere close to here for 90-120k that isn't a shithole and therefore shitty people.

You hate everyone anyway, so landlording yourself is out of the question and estate agents are cunts.

You can't gift it to Lusty, so you'd have to be named on the Mortgage, which they may not allow.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Oh yeah, if you do 1,
invest it wisely and safely. Split it up a bit and work bonds/ISAs as much as you can.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Change your name to 'Mince Gaydar - Hippypimp Extraordinaire'
and take a sockful of snookerballs across the road to yon brothel demanding to 'wet your beak'. Once confirmed as 'the daddy' of the operation you can set up residence in the cafe below, you could sleep under the counter and have fish & chips for breakfast lunch and dinner! All the fish & chips!!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:34, Reply)

FINALLY some common sense

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:40, Reply)

Or Option 7
Move out of the shit hole that is London get a 3 bedroom property in the countryside with a garden and nature walks... Buy the waistcoat you always wanted and reminisce about when you wrote Silverdream Machine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:42, Reply)

consolidate your unis into one easily affordable monthly job, quit payments get a debt.

( Peej, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:56, Reply)

With an IVA you might not be able to contribute to Lusty's new mortgage
I'd rent for 3 years, pay off all debts and have a good look around where I could afford with as much of the moneys in as high an interest account as possible locked up for the 3 years.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:31, Reply)

I won't be in an IVA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:33, Reply)

Yeah, but if you can't get a mortgage for 3 years you may not be able to be listed as an income for the same time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:34, Reply)

I missed lunch, as I was up late.
I had cheese planned, but it'll wait till tomorrow.
And why would she need a sports' bra? Is there a fucking running track there or something?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:32, Reply)

to stash drugs in

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Has she got nice norks ?
Did the Fail mention anything about that?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Im not the best judge of that but the bra she asked for looks like it would be two eggs in a catapult

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Hello you lot.
Just sent a shitty, but not actionable letter to
a crap solicitor I'm having to deal with.
Great buzz.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:46, Reply)

I've just done similar to my "plumber"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:26, Reply)

Cafartick innit?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 17:21, Reply)

Front page of qotw two weeks I a row, aiming for the top stop this week!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:48, Reply)

I think you might just OWN IT SHITPANTS

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:54, Reply)

Where is the front page?
I've never seen it.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:59, Reply)

They normally keep it at the front
HTH's
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 16:13, Reply)

Michael Holding "So Chris Woakes has a wicket under his belt".
I thought he was just pleased to see us.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 17:25, Reply)